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A Wizard's Guide to Defensive Baking: Protecting Your Magical Treats from Calamity
Author: Elara Meadowlight, Master Baker and Professor of Advanced Confectionery Defence at the prestigious Whispering Willows Academy of Magical Arts. Professor Meadowlight has over 30 years of experience in both creating exquisite pastries and defending them from mischievous sprites, hungry goblins, and the occasional rogue dragon.
Publisher: The Enchanted Oven Press, specializing in publications on culinary magic and the preservation of magically-enhanced foodstuffs. They are renowned for their high-quality, fact-checked content and commitment to accurate magical culinary practices.
Editor: Barnaby Buttercup, a seasoned editor with extensive experience in magical literature and a particular passion for the practical application of defensive baking techniques.
Keywords: A wizard's guide to defensive baking, defensive baking, magical baking, protecting baked goods, enchanted recipes, goblin-proof pastries, spell-resistant desserts, culinary defense, magical food preservation
Summary: This comprehensive guide, A Wizard's Guide to Defensive Baking, explores the essential techniques and strategies for protecting your magical creations from theft, spoilage, and other magical mishaps. From warding ingredients to strengthening baked goods against enchantment disruption, this guide offers invaluable knowledge for aspiring and seasoned magical bakers alike. It covers everything from basic protection charms to advanced anti-theft measures, ensuring your delicious creations remain safe and sound.
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Chapter 1: Understanding the Threats
Before you can effectively defend your baked goods, you must understand the threats they face. This isn't just about sticky fingers; a wizard's guide to defensive baking recognizes the magical elements involved.
1.1 Goblin Gastronomy: Goblins possess an uncanny ability to sniff out delicious treats from miles away. Their insatiable appetites and cunning thievery require robust defensive measures. Simple charms are often ineffective; you’ll need stronger enchantments.
1.2 Sprite Sabotage: Mischievous sprites delight in causing chaos. They may not necessarily want to eat your pastries, but they will certainly enjoy scattering sprinkles, swapping ingredients, or even infusing your creations with undesirable magical properties.
1.3 Elemental Instability: Some magical ingredients are inherently volatile. Improper handling can lead to spontaneous combustion or unpredictable flavor shifts. This section of a wizard's guide to defensive baking emphasizes the importance of careful ingredient selection and preparation.
1.4 Enchantment Disruption: Dark magic can target enchanted baked goods, attempting to neutralize their properties or even corrupt their flavor. Protecting against this requires advanced warding techniques.
Chapter 2: Basic Defensive Measures for A Wizard's Guide to Defensive Baking
This chapter of a wizard's guide to defensive baking focuses on readily available and easy-to-implement defensive strategies for the novice magical baker.
2.1 The Protective Charm: A simple charm woven into the dough or frosting can offer basic protection against minor theft and elemental instability. The specific incantation will vary depending on the type of baked good and the desired level of protection.
2.2 Ingredient Warding: Certain herbs and spices possess inherent protective qualities. Adding a pinch of dragon’s breath pepper or a sprig of protective rosemary to your recipe can enhance the resilience of your treats.
2.3 Secure Storage: Never underestimate the power of a well-protected storage container. Enchanted lockboxes and self-sealing jars can prevent unwanted access.
Chapter 3: Advanced Defensive Techniques in A Wizard's Guide to Defensive Baking
For those looking to safeguard their most prized creations, advanced techniques are crucial. This part of a wizard's guide to defensive baking delves into more complex methods.
3.1 Rune Baking: Integrating protective runes into the baking process can create a powerful and enduring ward. This requires precise skill and knowledge of runic magic. Consult a runemaster for assistance if needed.
3.2 Anti-Theft Enchantments: More sophisticated enchantments can deter thieves by inflicting minor discomforts (a sudden sneeze, a temporary loss of balance) or even alerting the baker to any attempted theft.
3.3 Counter-Enchantment Spells: Advanced bakers can learn to cast counter-enchantments that neutralize any attempts to disrupt or corrupt their baked goods. This requires significant magical proficiency.
3.4 Elemental Shielding: Protecting your baked goods from elemental instability requires the creation of a magical shield that isolates the item from external forces.
Chapter 4: Common Pitfalls in A Wizard's Guide to Defensive Baking
This chapter highlights common mistakes even experienced bakers make. Understanding these pitfalls will help you avoid costly errors and ensure the success of your magical baking endeavors.
4.1 Over-Enchantment: Too many protective spells can backfire, creating an unstable magical field that renders the baked goods inedible or even dangerous.
4.2 Ingredient Incompatibility: Not all magical ingredients work well together. Improper combinations can result in unpredictable magical reactions and ruined treats.
4.3 Improper Spell Casting: Faulty spellcasting can weaken or even negate the protective effects of your enchantments. Precision and focus are paramount.
Conclusion
Mastering the art of defensive baking is a lifelong pursuit. A Wizard's Guide to Defensive Baking provides a strong foundation for safeguarding your magical creations. By understanding the threats, employing appropriate techniques, and avoiding common pitfalls, you can ensure your delicious baked goods remain safe from harm, allowing you and others to enjoy your magical culinary achievements.
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FAQs
1. Can I use muggle baking supplies for defensive baking? While some muggle supplies are suitable, enchanted tools often provide superior results.
2. What happens if my protective charm fails? The severity depends on the strength of the threat and the charm’s potency. Minor failures might result in slightly damaged goods, while major failures could lead to total loss.
3. How do I choose the right protective herbs and spices? Research the specific properties of each ingredient and select those appropriate for your needs.
4. Are there any limitations to rune baking? Yes, the complexity of the runes and the baker's skill level limit the effectiveness and the type of protection.
5. Can I combine different defensive techniques? Yes, but ensure compatibility to avoid negative interactions.
6. What if my baked goods are stolen despite my protective measures? Strengthen your defenses and consider adding tracking spells.
7. Is it possible to accidentally enchant someone who eats my protected baked goods? Improperly cast enchantments could have unintended consequences, so always follow instructions carefully.
8. Can I teach my apprentice defensive baking techniques? Yes, but ensure they possess the necessary magical skills and understanding.
9. Are there any specific ingredients that are inherently difficult to protect magically? Highly volatile or volatile ingredients require expert handling and strong protective measures.
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Related Articles
1. "The Goblin's Guide to Counter-Defensive Baking": Explores strategies goblins employ to overcome defensive baking techniques.
2. "Advanced Rune Baking: A Comprehensive Guide": A detailed exploration of the art of weaving protective runes into baked goods.
3. "Elemental Baking: Mastering Volatile Ingredients": Focuses on handling volatile magical ingredients safely and effectively.
4. "The Sprite's Cookbook: Recipes for Mischief and Mayhem (and How to Prevent Them)": A humorous look at sprite-related baking mishaps and their prevention.
5. "Anti-Theft Charms for Magical Bakers": A dedicated guide to various anti-theft charms and enchantments for baked goods.
6. "Counter-Enchantment Strategies for Magical Confectionery": Details advanced techniques for neutralizing attempts to corrupt baked goods.
7. "The Baker's Grimoire: A Collection of Protective Spells and Incantations": A compilation of protective spells specifically tailored for magical baking.
8. "Ingredient Alchemy: Enhancing the Protective Properties of Magical Herbs and Spices": Explores the alchemic properties of herbs and spices for enhancing defensive baking.
9. "Storage Solutions for Magical Baked Goods: Securing Your Culinary Treasures": Focuses on different enchanted storage containers and their effectiveness.
| a wizard guide to defensive baking: A Wizard's Guide to Defensive Baking T. Kingfisher, 2020-07-21 Fourteen-year-old Mona isn't like the wizards charged with defending the city. She can't control lightning or speak to water. Her familiar is a sourdough starter and her magic only works on bread. She has a comfortable life in her aunt's bakery making gingerbread men dance.But Mona's life is turned upside down when she finds a dead body on the bakery floor. An assassin is stalking the streets of Mona's city, preying on magic folk, and it appears that Mona is his next target. And in an embattled city suddenly bereft of wizards, the assassin may be the least of Mona's worries¿ |
| a wizard guide to defensive baking: A Wizard's Guide to Defensive Baking T. Kingfisher, 2020 Fourteen-year-old Mona isn't like the wizards charged with defending the city. She can't control lightning or speak to water. Her familiar is a sourdough starter and her magic only works on bread. She has a comfortable life in her aunt's bakery making gingerbread men dance. But Mona's life is turned upside down when she finds a dead body on the bakery floor. An assassin is stalking the streets of Mona's city, preying on magic folk, and it appears that Mona is his next target. And in an embattled city suddenly bereft of wizards, the assassin may be the least of Mona's worries... |
| a wizard guide to defensive baking: Minor Mage T. Kingfisher, 2019-07-30 Oliver was a very minor mage. His familiar reminded him of this several times a day. He only knew three spells, and one of them was to control his allergy to armadillo dander. He was a very minor mage. Unfortunately, he was all they had. |
| a wizard guide to defensive baking: Paladin's Grace T. Kingfisher, 2023-11-21 'Funny, frightening, and full of heart; I loved it' Alix E. Harrow, author of The Ten Thousand Doors of January on Nettle & Bone Whilst foraging for startleflower, perfumer Grace finds herself pursued by ruffians and rescued by a handsome paladin in shining armour. Only, to outwit her hunters they have to pretend to be doing something very unrespectable in an alleyway. Stephen, a broken paladin, spends his time knitting socks and working as a bodyguard, living only for the chance to be useful. But that all changes when he saves Grace and witnesses an assassination attempt gone wrong. Now, Stephen and Grace must navigate a web of treachery and poisoners, while a cryptic killer stalks one step behind. Perfect for fans of Legends and Lattes, Paladin's Grace is a darkly whimsical fantasy featuring sock-knitting paladins, badass perfumers, courtroom hijinks and heart-racing romance, from Nebula and two-time Hugo Award-winning author T. Kingfisher. Praise for T. Kingfisher: 'T. Kingfisher solidifies her place as natural and inevitable heir to the greats of her genre, while remaining clearly and unquestionably a unique voice in fantasy' Seanan McGuire 'Exciting, deeply wise, sad, brutal and compassionate all at once. And beautifully written, with a plot as cunning as fine embroidery' Catriona Ward 'Creepy, funny, heartfelt, and full of fantastic characters I absolutely loved' Melissa Caruso, author of The Tethered Mage Nettle & Bone brings Kingfisher's signature honesty and authenticity to a fairy tale setting: the result is refreshing, earnest but not naive, and deeply satisfying. I devoured it. This is one that's going to stay with me for a long time' Sarah Gailey, author of Magic for Liars 'A delight throughout' Louisa Morgan, author of A Secret History of Witches 'T. Kingfisher uses the bones of fairy tale to create something entirely her own, written in gloriously clear and transparent prose' Emily Tesh, author of Some Desperate Glory 'Funny, frightening, and full of heart; I loved it' Alix E. Harrow, author of The Ten Thousand Doors of January 'Charming and macabre, often both at the same time' A. K. Larkwood, author of The Unspoken Name 'Absolutely delightful and full of charm and truth' Naomi Novik, on Thornhedge |
| a wizard guide to defensive baking: Cooking for Elves, Dwarves and Dragons Thea James, Isabel Minunni, 2021-08-10 Cooking for Elves, Dwarves and Dragons presents an extraordinary - and completely magical - collection of recipes inspired by the most popular and respected fantasy literature, films and TV series of all time. There are 125 mouth-watering recipes in all, including fantastic dishes suggested by J.R.R. Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings, Andrzej Sapkowski's The Witcher, George R.R. Martin's A Song of Fire and Ice, N.K. Jemisin's Broken Earth Trilogy, Robert Jordan's The Wheel of Time, and many others. Some dishes are well-known - ones that passionate fans have long wished they could taste (Elven Lembas bread, anyone?). Others capture the mood and emotions of a particularly memorable scene, such as the meal that was eaten prior to Game of Thrones' fan favorite Battle of the Bastards. Accompanying each recipe is an introductory essay that shines a bit of light on the tales, heroes, villains or histories that inspired it. Readers will also find sidebars and features that provide even more intriguing insights, trivia and fantasy-related fun. Nearly 50 illustrations appear throughout, rendered by noted artist Tim Foley, whose eye-catching scratchboard style captures the look and feel of classic Medieval woodcut printing techniques. The book itself is an artifact of sorts, with faded, time-worn pages and a leatherette cover, lending the overall package the feel of an ancient grimoire - perhaps discovered in a long-forgotten crypt or wizard's castle. Either way, it's a cookbook treasure sure to please hungry readers of any realm. |
| a wizard guide to defensive baking: Marion Lane and the Midnight Murder T.A. Willberg, 2021-01-01 'The most fun I've had with a book this year. Every page is a delight' Stuart Turton, author of The Seven Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle They were a band of mysterious private detectives who lived beneath the streets of London... London, 1958. Elaborately disguised and hidden deep beneath the city's streets lies the world of Miss Brickett's, a secret detective agency. From traversing deceptive escape rooms, to engineering almost magical mechanical gadgets, apprentice detectives at Miss Brickett's undergo rigorous training to equip them with the skills and knowledge they will need to solve the mysteries that confound London's police force. But nothing can prepare 23-year-old apprentice Marion Lane for what happens after the arrest of her friend and mentor, Frank, on suspicion of murder: he tasks Marion with clearing his name and saving his life. Her investigation will place Marion and her friends in great peril as they venture into the forbidden maze of uncharted tunnels that surround Miss Brickett's. Being discovered out of bounds means immediate dismissal, but that is the least of Marion's problems... This is the first installation in a fantastical historical mystery series for fans of Stuart Turton's The Seven Deaths of Evelyn Hardcastle and Natasha Pulley's The Watchmaker of Filigree Street. |
| a wizard guide to defensive baking: Space Opera Catherynne M. Valente, 2018-12-18 2019 HUGO AWARD FINALIST, BEST NOVEL The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy meets the joy and glamour of Eurovision in bestselling author Catherynne M. Valente's science fiction spectacle, where sentient races compete for glory in a galactic musical contest…and the stakes are as high as the fate of planet Earth. A century ago, the Sentience Wars tore the galaxy apart and nearly ended the entire concept of intelligent space-faring life. In the aftermath, a curious tradition was invented—something to cheer up everyone who was left and bring the shattered worlds together in the spirit of peace, unity, and understanding. Once every cycle, the great galactic civilizations gather for the Metagalactic Grand Prix—part gladiatorial contest, part beauty pageant, part concert extravaganza, and part continuation of the wars of the past. Species far and wide compete in feats of song, dance and/or whatever facsimile of these can be performed by various creatures who may or may not possess, in the traditional sense, feet, mouths, larynxes, or faces. And if a new species should wish to be counted among the high and the mighty, if a new planet has produced some savage group of animals, machines, or algae that claim to be, against all odds, sentient? Well, then they will have to compete. And if they fail? Sudden extermination for their entire species. This year, though, humankind has discovered the enormous universe. And while they expected to discover a grand drama of diplomacy, gunships, wormholes, and stoic councils of aliens, they have instead found glitter, lipstick, and electric guitars. Mankind will not get to fight for its destiny—they must sing. Decibel Jones and the Absolute Zeroes have been chosen to represent their planet on the greatest stage in the galaxy. And the fate of Earth lies in their ability to rock. |
| a wizard guide to defensive baking: The Memory of Souls Jenn Lyons, 2020-09-03 Gods, demons, and even more dragons . . . Jenn Lyons' powerful epic fantasy continues in The Memory of Souls. The longer he lives, the more dangerous he becomes . . . The city of Atrine lies in ruins. And now Relos Var has revealed his plan to free the monstrous god, Vol Karoth, the end of the world is closer than ever. To buy time for humanity, Kihrin and his friends need to convince a king to perform an ancient ritual. The power released would imprison the god for an age to come. But this may come at too high a price for the King of the Vane, as the ritual would strip his people of their immortality. As a result, some will do anything to prevent this ritual – including assassinating those championing this solution. Worse, Kihrin must come to terms with a horrifying possibility. It seems his connection to Vol Karoth is growing in strength . . . but what does it mean? And how can Kihrin hope to save his world, when he might be the greatest threat of all? The Memory of Souls is the third book in the thrilling series, A Chorus of Dragons, which begins with The Ruin of Kings. Continue the action with The House of Always. 'What an extraordinary book . . . everything epic fantasy should be: rich, cruel, gorgeous, brilliant, enthralling and deeply deeply satisfying. I loved it' – Lev Grossman on The Ruin of Kings 'Delightful and entertaining . . . it’s a fast, pacey read' - Locus Magazine ‘Lyons raises stakes to a fever pitch' - Publishers Weekly |
| a wizard guide to defensive baking: Mother of Learning: ARC 1 nobody103, Domagoj Kurmaic, 2021-12-01 Zorian Kazinski has all the time in the world to get stronger, and he plans on taking full advantage of it. A teenage mage of humble birth and slightly above-average skill, Zorian is attending his third year of education at Cyoria's magical academy. A driven and quiet young man, he is consumed by a desire to ensure his own future and free himself of the influence of his family, resenting the Kazinskis for favoring his brothers over him. Consequently, Zorian has no time for pointless distractions, much less other people's problems. As it happens, though, time is something he is about to get plenty of. On the eve of Cyoria's annual summer festival, Zorian is murdered, then abruptly brought back to the beginning of the month, just before he was about to take the train to school. Finding himself trapped in a time loop with no clear end or exit, he will have to look both within and without to unravel the mystery set before him. He does have to unravel it, too, because the loop clearly wasn’t made for his sake, and in a world of magic even a time traveler isn't safe from those who wish him ill. Fortunately for Zorian, repetition is the mother of learning… |
| a wizard guide to defensive baking: Paladin's Strength T. Kingfisher, 2023-11-21 From two-time Hugo Award-winning author T. Kingfisher comes Paladin's Strength, the perfect blend of cosy fantasy romance and classic fantasy adventure featuring an order of secretive nuns, a swashbuckling paladin and a strange hive of rabbits. He's a paladin of a dead god, tracking a supernatural killer across a continent. She's a nun from a secretive order, on the trail of the raiders who burned her convent and kidnapped her sisters. When their paths cross at the point of a sword, Istvhan and Clara will be pitched headlong into each other's quests, facing off against enemies both living and dead. But Clara has a secret that could jeopardize the growing trust between them, a secret that will lead them to the gladiatorial pits of a corrupt city, and beyond... Praise for T. Kingfisher: 'T. Kingfisher solidifies her place as natural and inevitable heir to the greats of her genre, while remaining clearly and unquestionably a unique voice in fantasy' Seanan McGuire 'Exciting, deeply wise, sad, brutal and compassionate all at once. And beautifully written, with a plot as cunning as fine embroidery' Catriona Ward 'Creepy, funny, heartfelt, and full of fantastic characters I absolutely loved' Melissa Caruso, author of The Tethered Mage Nettle & Bone brings Kingfisher's signature honesty and authenticity to a fairy tale setting: the result is refreshing, earnest but not naive, and deeply satisfying. I devoured it. This is one that's going to stay with me for a long time' Sarah Gailey, author of Magic for Liars 'A delight throughout' Louisa Morgan, author of A Secret History of Witches 'T. Kingfisher uses the bones of fairy tale to create something entirely her own, written in gloriously clear and transparent prose' Emily Tesh, author of Some Desperate Glory 'Funny, frightening, and full of heart; I loved it' Alix E. Harrow, author of The Ten Thousand Doors of January 'Charming and macabre, often both at the same time' A. K. Larkwood, author of The Unspoken Name 'Absolutely delightful and full of charm and truth' Naomi Novik, on Thornhedge |
| a wizard guide to defensive baking: The Power of Poppy Pendle Natasha Lowe, 2012-09-04 “There is a strong essence of Roald Dahl to this story…a crowd-pleaser.” —Library Media Connection “[A] sweet story about true friendship.” —School Library Journal Poppy has magical powers, but she would rather be a baker. Can she find a way to follow her own path? This charming novel includes more than a dozen delectable recipes! Ten-year-old Poppy, born to ordinary parents, has inherited coveted witch power. In Poppy’s world, witches work for good and are much valued, but Poppy does not want to be a witch—she wants to be a baker, and she is extremely good at baking. Her parents insist Poppy follow in the footsteps of her great aunt, a famous witch, but Poppy has plans of her own. Part magic, part adventure, and wholly delicious, this spirited story includes more than a dozen recipes you can try at home. |
| a wizard guide to defensive baking: Clocktaur War T. Kingfisher, 2019-11-19 |
| a wizard guide to defensive baking: Check, Please! Book 2: Sticks & Scones Ngozi Ukazu, 2020-04-07 A collection of the second half of the mega-popular webcomic series of the same name, Check, Please!: Sticks and Scones is the last in Ngozi Ukazu's hilarious and stirring two-volume coming-of-age story about hockey, bros, and trying to find yourself during the best four years of your life. Perfect for fans of the hit series Heartstopper! Eric Bittle is heading into his junior year at Samwell University, and not only does he have new teammates—he has a brand new boyfriend! Bitty and Jack must navigate their new, secret, long-distance relationship, and decide how to reveal their relationship to friends and teammates. And on top of that, Bitty's time at Samwell is quickly coming to an end...It's two full hockey seasons packed with big wins and high stakes! |
| a wizard guide to defensive baking: Summer in Orcus T. Kingfisher, 2016 Summer is a perfectly ordinary 11 year old girl with a perfectly ordinary, needy, over protective single mother. Summer loves her mother and would never dream of running away, but wonders deep down if it wouldn't be nice to escape for a little while and do something adventurous...maybe? Baba Yaga comes along in her magical walking house and offers Summer her heart's desire. Summer has no idea what this might be, but with the lighting of a frog-shaped beeswax candle she finds herself transported to the strange would of Orcus with nothing but a weasel in her pocket. She's read a lot of fantasy books about people thrust into strange lands; but they usually seemed to have has some idea what they were supposed to do there. -- back cover |
| a wizard guide to defensive baking: The Vanished Birds Simon Jimenez, 2020-01-14 A “highly imaginative and utterly exhilarating” (Thrillist) debut that is “the best of what science fiction can be: a thought-provoking, heartrending story about the choices that define our lives” (Kirkus Reviews, Best Debut Fiction and Best Science Fiction & Fantasy of the Year). FINALIST FOR THE LOCUS AWARD • NAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY TORDOTCOM AND KIRKUS REVIEWS A mysterious child lands in the care of a solitary woman, changing both of their lives forever. I expected many things from this trip. I did not expect a family. A ship captain, unfettered from time. A mute child, burdened with unimaginable power. A millennia-old woman, haunted by lifetimes of mistakes. In this captivating debut of connection across space and time, these outsiders will find in each other the things they lack: a place of love and belonging. A safe haven. A new beginning. But the past hungers for them, and when it catches up, it threatens to tear this makeshift family apart. Praise for The Vanished Birds “This is the most impressive debut of 2020.”—Locus “This extraordinary science fiction epic, which delves deep into the perils of failing to learn from one’s mistakes, is perfect for fans of big ideas and intimate reflections.”—Publishers Weekly (starred review) “A lyrical and moving narrative of space travel, found families, and lost loves set against an evocative space-opera background.”—Booklist (starred review) “The Vanished Birds finds an intimate heartbeat of longing in a saga of galactic progress and its crushing fallout. . . . A novel of vast scope that yet makes time for compassion, wonder, and poetry.”—Indra Das, author of The Devourers |
| a wizard guide to defensive baking: Sourdough Robin Sloan, 2017-09-07 Leavened by the same infectious intelligence and lovable nerdiness that made Robin Sloan's Mr Penumbra's 24-Hour Bookstore such a sensation, Sourdough marks the triumphant return of a unique and beloved young writer. Lois Clary is a software engineer at General Dexterity, a San Francisco robotics company with world-changing ambitions. She codes all day and collapses at night, her human contact limited to the two brothers who run the neighbourhood hole-in-the-wall from which she orders dinner every evening. Then, disaster! Visa issues. The brothers close up shop, and fast. But they have one last delivery for Lois: their culture, the sourdough starter used to bake their bread. She must keep it alive, they tell her - feed it daily, play it music, and learn to bake with it. Lois is no baker, but she could use a roommate, even if it is a needy colony of microorganisms. Soon, not only is she eating her own homemade bread, she's providing loaves daily to the General Dexterity cafeteria. The company chef urges her to take her product to the farmer's market, and a whole new world opens up. When Lois comes before the jury that decides who sells what at Bay Area markets, she encounters a close-knit club with no appetite for new members. But then, an alternative emerges: a secret market that aims to fuse food and technology. But who are these people, exactly? Sourdough is a soup of skilfully balanced ingredients: there's satire, a touch of fantasy, a pinch of SF, all bound up with a likeable narrator whose zest for life is infectious. The novel opens a door on a world that's both comforting and thrillingly odd. - The Guardian |
| a wizard guide to defensive baking: Castle Hangnail Ursula Vernon, 2015-04-21 From the creator of Dragonbreath comes a tale of witches, minions, and one fantastic castle, just right for fans of Roald Dahl and Tom Angleberger. When Molly shows up on Castle Hangnail's doorstep to fill the vacancy for a wicked witch, the castle's minions are understandably dubious. After all, she is twelve years old, barely five feet tall, and quite polite. (The minions are used to tall, demanding evil sorceresses with razor-sharp cheekbones.) But the castle desperately needs a master or else the Board of Magic will decommission it, leaving all the minions without the home they love. So when Molly assures them she is quite wicked indeed (So wicked! REALLY wicked!) and begins completing the tasks required by the Board of Magic for approval, everyone feels hopeful. Unfortunately, it turns out that Molly has quite a few secrets, including the biggest one of all: that she isn't who she says she is. This quirky, richly illustrated novel is filled with humor, magic, and an unforgettable all-star cast of castle characters. |
| a wizard guide to defensive baking: Bryony and Roses T. Kingfisher, 2017-11-14 Bryony and her sisters have come down in the world. Their merchant father died trying to reclaim his fortune and left them to eke out a living in a village far from their home in the city. But when Bryony is caught in a snowstorm and takes refuge in an abandoned manor, she stumbles into a house full of dark enchantments. Is the Beast that lives there her captor, or a fellow prisoner? Is the house her enemy or her ally? And why are roses blooming out of season in the courtyard? Armed only with gardening shears and her wits, Bryony must untangle the secrets of the house before she, or the Beast, are swallowed by them. |
| a wizard guide to defensive baking: Swordheart T. Kingfisher, 2023-11-21 'Absolutely delightful and full of charm and truth' Naomi Novik, on Thornhedge Halla is a housekeeper who has suddenly inherited her great-uncle's estate... and, unfortunately, his relatives. Sarkis is an immortal swordsman trapped in a prison of enchanted steel. When Halla draws the sword that imprisons him, Sarkis finds himself attempting to defend his new wielder against everything from bandits and roving inquisitors to her own in-laws... and the sword itself may prove to be the greatest threat of all... Praise for T. Kingfisher: 'T. Kingfisher solidifies her place as natural and inevitable heir to the greats of her genre, while remaining clearly and unquestionably a unique voice in fantasy' Seanan McGuire 'Exciting, deeply wise, sad, brutal and compassionate all at once. And beautifully written, with a plot as cunning as fine embroidery' Catriona Ward 'Creepy, funny, heartfelt, and full of fantastic characters I absolutely loved' Melissa Caruso, author of The Tethered Mage Nettle & Bone brings Kingfisher's signature honesty and authenticity to a fairy tale setting the result is refreshing, earnest but not naive, and deeply satisfying. I devoured it. This is one that's going to stay with me for a long time' Sarah Gailey, author of Magic for Liars 'A delight throughout' Louisa Morgan, author of A Secret History of Witches 'T. Kingfisher uses the bones of fairy tale to create something entirely her own, written in gloriously clear and transparent prose' Emily Tesh, author of Some Desperate Glory 'Funny, frightening, and full of heart; I loved it' Alix E. Harrow, author of The Ten Thousand Doors of January 'Charming and macabre, often both at the same time' A. K. Larkwood, author of The Unspoken Name |
| a wizard guide to defensive baking: Nurk Ursula Vernon, 2008-06-01 Nurk is a quiet homebody of a shrew. But when a mysterious plea for help arrives in the mail, he invokes the spirit of his fearless warrior-shrew grandmother, Surka, and sets off to find the sender. It seems the prince of the dragonflies has been kidnapped, and Nurk is his last hope for rescue. Such a mission would be daunting for even the biggest, baddest, and bravest of shrews, and Nurk is neither big nor bad, and only a little brave. But he does his very best--and hopes his grandmother would be proud. Nurk is a warm, wonderful, and hilarious illustrated adventure about courage, family legacies, and friendships of a most unusual nature. |
| a wizard guide to defensive baking: Clockwork Boys T. Kingfisher, 2018-03-06 Slate is a thief who specialized in stealing, forging, and planting paperwork. When she is arrested for treason, she finds herself part of a suicide mission with Brenner the assassin and the disgraced paladin Caliban, once a demonslayer, now host to the dead remains of the demon which sent him on a murderous rampage and shattered his world.Their goal is both simple and nearly impossible. Find a way to stop the Clockwork Boys: the massive ivory creatures wreaking ruin upon the countryside. But to do that, they must first cross a war zone, braving plague and magic, to reach Anuket City, the distant home of the enemy. |
| a wizard guide to defensive baking: Aunt Maria Diana Wynne Jones, 2012-01-31 In Cranbury-on-Sea Aunt Maria rules with a rod of sweetness far tougher than iron and deadlier than poison. Strange and awful things keep happening in Cranbury. Why are all the men apparently gray-suited zombies? Why do all the children—if you ever see them—behave like clones? And what has happened to Mig's brother, Chris? Could gentle, civilized Aunt Maria, with her talk and daily tea parties, possibly have anything to do with it? Diana Wynne Jones once again has created a fantastic, magical world. Her brilliant storytelling and wonderful sense of humor totally involve the reader in the lives of a lovable young heroine and a villainess readers will love to hate. |
| a wizard guide to defensive baking: How Does Your Garden Grow?: A Hercule Poirot Short Story Agatha Christie, 2014-03-13 A classic Agatha Christie short story, available individually for the first time as an ebook. |
| a wizard guide to defensive baking: Cinnamon and Gunpowder Eli Brown, 2014-06-03 The year is 1819, and the renowned chef Owen Wedgwood has been kidnapped by a beautiful yet ruthless pirate. He will be spared, Mad Hannah Mabbot tells him, as long as he can conjure an exquisite meal every Sunday from the ship's meager supplies. While Wedgwood attempts to satisfy his captor with feats such as tea-smoked eel and pineapple-banana cider, he realizes that Mabbot herself is under siege. Hunted by a deadly privateer and plagued by a saboteur, she pushes her crew past exhaustion in her search for the notorious Brass Fox. But there is a method to Mabbot's madness, and as the Flying Rose races across the ocean, Wedgwood learns to rely on the bizarre crew members he once feared: a formidable giant who loves to knit; a pair of stoic martial arts masters, sworn to defend their captain; and the ship's deaf cabin boy, who becomes the son he never had. An anarchic tale of love and appetite, Eli Brown's Cinnamon and Gunpowder is a wildly original feat of the imagination, deep and startling as the sea itself. |
| a wizard guide to defensive baking: Digger Ursula Vernon, 2011-05 A story about a particularly no-nonsense wombat who finds herself stuck on the wrong end of a one-way tunnel in a strange land where nonsense seems to be the specialty. Now with the help of a talking statue of a god, an outcast hyena, a shadow-being of indeterminate origin, and an oracular slug she seeks to find out where she is and how to go about getting back to her Warren--Publisher description. |
| a wizard guide to defensive baking: Half a Soul Olivia Atwater, 2022-04-05 “Whimsical, witty, and brimming over with charm” (India Holton), Olivia Atwater’s delightful debut will transport you to a magical version of Regency England, where the only thing more meddlesome than a fairy is a marriage-minded mother! It’s difficult to find a husband in Regency England when you’re a young lady with only half a soul. Ever since she was cursed by a faerie, Theodora Ettings has had no sense of fear or embarrassment—an unfortunate condition that leaves her prone to accidental scandal. Dora hopes to be a quiet, sensible wallflower during the London Season—but when Elias Wilder, the strange, handsome, and utterly ill-mannered Lord Sorcier, discovers her condition, she is instead drawn into peculiar and dangerous faerie affairs. If her reputation can survive both her curse and her sudden connection with the least-liked man in all high society, then she and her family may yet reclaim their normal place in the world. But the longer Dora spends with Elias, the more she begins to suspect that one may indeed fall in love even with only half a soul. Praise for Half a Soul “Whimsical but never frivolous, sweet but not sugary. I loved it.” —Alix E. Harrow “Delightful. Half a Soul is the definition of a comfort read.” —Hannah Whitten “I wolfed this down with great pleasure.” —KJ Charles “This winsome, whimsical fantasy romance sweeps you off your feet.” —Megan Bannen “Smart and subversive, Half a Soul will ignite your heart—and your hope.” —Shelley Parker-Chan “A perfect historical fantasy romance: warm, sparkling with magic, dangerous, and delightful.” —Tasha Suri |
| a wizard guide to defensive baking: The Ruthless Lady's Guide to Wizardry C. M. Waggoner, 2021-01-12 A Tor.com Reviewers' Choice Best Book of the Year Sparks fly in this enchanting fantasy novel from the author of Unnatural Magic when a down-and-out fire witch and a young gentlewoman join forces against a deadly conspiracy. Dellaria Wells, petty con artist, occasional thief, and partly educated fire witch, is behind on her rent in the city of Leiscourt—again. Then she sees the “wanted” sign, seeking Female Persons, of Martial or Magical ability, to guard a Lady of some Importance, prior to the celebration of her Marriage. Delly fast-talks her way into the job and joins a team of highly peculiar women tasked with protecting their wealthy charge from unknown assassins. Delly quickly sets her sights on one of her companions, the confident and well-bred Winn Cynallum. The job looks like nothing but romance and easy money until things take a deadly (and undead) turn. With the help of a bird-loving necromancer, a shapeshifting schoolgirl, and an ill-tempered reanimated mouse named Buttons, Delly and Winn are determined to get the best of an adversary who wields a twisted magic and has friends in the highest of places. |
| a wizard guide to defensive baking: Jinxed Amy McCulloch, 2018-08-09 'A little bit GOLDEN COMPASS, a little bit HUNGER GAMES, and all adventure' - Amie Kaufman, NYT bestselling author of ILLUMINAE The brand-new series from the author of the magical POTION DIARIES adventures! Lacey Chu has big dreams of working for the company behind the 'baku' - a customizable smart pet that functions as a phone but makes the perfect companion for its user. The only problem is, she's just been rejected from Profectus Academy - the elite academy for cutting-edge tech. Then Lacey meets Jinx... Jinx is an incredibly advanced cat baku who opens up a world that Lacey never new existed, including entry into the hallowed halls of Profectus. But what is Jinx, really? His abilities far surpass anything written into his coded. He seems to be more than just a robotic pet. He seems ... real. ‘The most compelling read of the year ... terrifyingly of the moment’ - Evening Standard PRAISE for The Potion Diaries series: 'Inventive, romantic, and downright delightful, Madly cast its spell on me from page one, and is the most fun I've had reading in ages!' Sarah J Maas, author of the Throne of Glass series 'It's so cool!' Zoe Sugg, aka Zoella |
| a wizard guide to defensive baking: Ghost-Spider Vol. 1 Seanan Mcguire, 2020-02-05 Collects Ghost-Spider (2019) #1-5. Gwen Stacy makes her way to the Marvel Universe! With a cloud of infamy hanging over her head in her home dimension of Earth-65, Gwen now travels to the Prime MU for super hero action…and school! The newest student at ESU is about to get a crash course in multiversity as she splits her time between the world she loves and the world she’s just getting to know! School isn’t all bad, though, as Gwen’s taking classes right down the hall from Peter Parker. But Peter isn’t the only person who may recognize Gwen — and not everyone shares Spider-Man’s noble intentions. How will Gwen handle the return of the Jackal? |
| a wizard guide to defensive baking: Tamarind & the Star of Ishta Jasbinder Bilan, 2020-09-03 From the author of the Costa Award-winning Asha & the Spirit Bird comes a breathtaking journey across India ... Tamarind never knew her Indian mum, Chinty, who died soon after she was born. So when she arrives at her ancestral home, a huge mansion in the Himalayas surrounded by luxuriant gardens, she's full of questions for her extended family. But instead of answers, she finds an ominous silence - and a trickle of intriguing clues: an abandoned hut, a friendly monkey, a glowing star ring, and a strange girl in the garden who calls herself Ishta. Slowly, Tamarind unravels a mystery at the heart of who she is ... PRAISE FOR ASHA & THE SPIRIT BIRD 'An evocative debut novel' Guardian 'A vivid adventure' Observer '... the final ending is as perfect as any fairy tale.' BookTrust |
| a wizard guide to defensive baking: Searoad Ursula K. Le Guin, 2004 Introduces the inhabitants and visitors of a sandy track that runs between the town of Klatsand and the Pacific Ocean and relates their experiences. |
| a wizard guide to defensive baking: The Time of Green Magic Hilary McKay, 2019-09-05 From Costa Award-winner Hilary McKay comes The Time of Green Magic: a beautiful, spell-binding novel about family, magic, an old house and a mysterious visitor . . . Abi and her two step-brothers, Max and Louis, find that strange things happen when they are alone in their eerie, ivy-covered new house. Abi, reading alone, finds herself tumbling deep into books, while Louis summons a startling guest through his bedroom window. Even Max has started to see shapes in the shadows . . . Their busy parents see none of it – but Louis’ secret visitor is growing too alarming to keep secret, and he finds he cannot manage without Max and Abi’s help. Can they find out where the mysterious creature has come from – and how to get it back there? 'An instant classic' New York Times 'Wise and kind . . . full of characters you will give your whole heart to' Anna James 'The emotions of real families have always been [McKay's forte], but in this evocative novel she makes something fantastical happen' Sunday Times |
| a wizard guide to defensive baking: Sky Raiders Brandon Mull, 2014-03-11 Whisked through a portal to The Outskirts, an in-between world, sixth-grader Cole must rescue his friends and find his way back home--before his existence is forgotten. |
| a wizard guide to defensive baking: The Walled City Ryan Graudin, 2014-11-04 730. That's how many days I've been trapped.18. That's how many days I have left to find a way out. DAI, trying to escape a haunting past, traffics drugs for the most ruthless kingpin in the Walled City. But in order to find the key to his freedom, he needs help from someone with the power to be invisible.... JIN hides under the radar, afraid the wild street gangs will discover her biggest secret: Jin passes as a boy to stay safe. Still, every chance she gets, she searches for her lost sister.... MEI YEE has been trapped in a brothel for the past two years, dreaming of getting out while watching the girls who try fail one by one. She's about to give up, when one day she sees an unexpected face at her window..... In this innovative and adrenaline-fueled novel, they all come together in a desperate attempt to escape a lawless labyrinth before the clock runs out. |
| a wizard guide to defensive baking: Jackalope Wives and Other Stories T. Kingfisher, 2017-09-12 Winner of the Nebula and WSFA Short Fiction Awards. Includes The Tomato Thief winner of 2017 Hugo Award - Best Novelette From award-winning author T. Kingfisher comes a collection of short stories, including Jackalope Wives, The Tomato Thief, Pocosin, and many others. By turns funny, lyrical, angry and beautiful, this anthology includes two all-new stories, Origin Story and Let Pass The Horses Black, appearing for the first time in print. |
| a wizard guide to defensive baking: White Trash Warlock David R. Slayton, 2020-10-13 Not all magicians go to schools of magic. Adam Binder has the Sight. It’s a power that runs in his bloodline: the ability to see beyond this world and into another, a realm of magic populated by elves, gnomes, and spirits of every kind. But for much of Adam’s life, that power has been a curse, hindering friendships, worrying his backwoods family, and fueling his abusive father’s rage. Years after his brother, Bobby, had him committed to a psych ward, Adam is ready to come to grips with who he is, to live his life on his terms, to find love, and maybe even use his magic to do some good. Hoping to track down his missing father, Adam follows a trail of cursed artifacts to Denver, only to discover that an ancient and horrifying spirit has taken possession of Bobby’s wife. It isn’t long before Adam becomes the spirit’s next target. To survive the confrontation, save his sister-in-law, and learn the truth about his father, Adam will have to risk bargaining with very dangerous beings ... including his first love. |
| a wizard guide to defensive baking: Paladin's Hope T. Kingfisher, 2023-11-21 'Exciting, deeply wise, sad, brutal and compassionate all at once. And beautifully written, with a plot as cunning as fine embroidery' Catriona Ward Piper is a lich-doctor, a physician who works among the dead, determining causes of death for the city guard's investigations. It's a peaceful, if solitary profession...until the day when he's called to the river to examine the latest in a series of mysterious bodies, mangled by some unknown force. Galen is a paladin of a dead god, lost to holiness and no longer entirely sane. He has long since given up on any hope of love. But when the two men and a brave gnole constable are drawn into the maze of the mysterious killer, it's Galen's job to protect Piper from the traps that await them. He's just not sure if he can protect Piper from the most dangerous threat of all... Praise for T. Kingfisher: 'T. Kingfisher solidifies her place as natural and inevitable heir to the greats of her genre, while remaining clearly and unquestionably a unique voice in fantasy' Seanan McGuire 'Creepy, funny, heartfelt, and full of fantastic characters I absolutely loved' Melissa Caruso, author of The Tethered Mage Nettle & Bone brings Kingfisher's signature honesty and authenticity to a fairy tale setting: the result is refreshing, earnest but not naive, and deeply satisfying. I devoured it. This is one that's going to stay with me for a long time' Sarah Gailey, author of Magic for Liars 'A delight throughout' Louisa Morgan, author of A Secret History of Witches 'T. Kingfisher uses the bones of fairy tale to create something entirely her own, written in gloriously clear and transparent prose' Emily Tesh, author of Some Desperate Glory 'Funny, frightening, and full of heart; I loved it' Alix E. Harrow, author of The Ten Thousand Doors of January 'Charming and macabre, often both at the same time' A. K. Larkwood, author of The Unspoken Name 'Absolutely delightful and full of charm and truth' Naomi Novik, on Thornhedge |
| a wizard guide to defensive baking: Cheshire Crossing Andy Weir, 2019-07-09 In a one-of-a-kind graphic novel collaboration between the #1 New York Times bestselling author of The Martian and the beloved illustrator behind Sarah’s Scribbles, Alice, Wendy, and Dorothy team up to save the multiverse, from Wonderland to Neverland and Oz. Originating as fan fiction from the brilliant imagination of Andy Weir, now brought to vivid life by Sarah Andersen, Cheshire Crossing is a funny, breakneck, boundlessly inventive journey through classic worlds as you’ve never seen them before. Years after their respective returns from Wonderland, Neverland, and Oz, the trio meet here, at Cheshire Crossing—a boarding school where girls like them learn how to cope with their supernatural experiences and harness their magical world-crossing powers. But Alice, Wendy, and Dorothy—now teenagers, who’ve had their fill of meddling authority figures—aren’t content to sit still in a classroom. Soon they’re dashing from one universe to the next, leaving havoc in their wake—and, inadvertently, bringing the Wicked Witch and Hook together in a deadly supervillain love match. To stop them, the girls will have to draw on all of their powers . . . and marshal a team of unlikely allies from across the magical multiverse. Advance praise for Cheshire Crossing “Deliciously funny . . . a shrewd and spirited adaptation that will leave audiences hoping for another installment . . . Andersen’s delightful cartoon drawing style meshes perfectly with Weir’s prose, allowing the work to broaden its appeal beyond middle graders to young adults and adults.”—Kirkus Reviews (starred review) |
| a wizard guide to defensive baking: The Seventh Princess Nick Sullivan, 2001-03 When her school bus becomes a princess's carriage, Jennifer finds herself transported to a strange place where she is the Princess Miranda, the next victim of the evil Duke Rinaldo. |
| a wizard guide to defensive baking: Tom Clancy's The Division: Alex Irvine, 2019-03-15 The prequel novel to the highly anticipated latest entry in the blockbuster Tom Clancy franchise, THE DIVISON 2. When Society Falls, We Rise Months after the outbreak of a devastating global pandemic that started in New York City on Black Friday, traces of rebirth are spreading across the United States. Spring has come to the nation, and with it a glimmer of hope as civilians band together in settlements, trying to carve out a better life. Amidst a ruined government, a shattered infrastructure, and an eroding civilization, The Division – an autonomous unit of sleeper agents activated when all else fails – is all that protects the people from predators who would harm them, scavengers who would take from them, and oppressors who would exploit them. Aurelio Diaz is one of those agents. A man of great honor, he is on the hunt for one of his colleagues who inexplicably abandoned his duty and caused the death of multiple civilians. This trail leads him to April Kelleher, a resourceful civilian who traveled out of New York into a troubled American Midwest. There, she hopes to understand why her husband was murdered and if an antiviral to the deadly disease exists. Together, Agent Diaz and April soon uncover an imminent threat to the future of the country. They must act to preserve civilization's last hope to stop a new virus and save itself from a final collapse. |
A Wizards Guide To Defensive Baking
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