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| are the couples from couples therapy still together: True Love Dates Debra K. Fileta, 2013-10-08 It is possible to find true love through dating. In True Love Dates, Debra Fileta encourages singles not to kiss dating goodbye but instead to experience a season of dating as a way to find real love. Through powerful, real-life stories and Fileta's personal journey, this book offers profound insights from the expertise of a professional counselor. Christians are looking for answers to finding true love. They are disillusioned with the church that has provided little practical application in the area of love and relationships. They're bombarded by Christian books that shun dating, idolize courting, fixate on spirituality, and in the end, offer little real relationship help. True Love Dates provides honest help for dating by providing a guide into vital relationship essentials. Debra is a professional Christian counselor who reaches millions with her popular blog, Truelovedates.com, and her book offers sound advice grounded in Christian spirituality. She delivers insight, direction, and counsel when it comes to entering the world of dating and learning to do it right the first time around. Drawing on the stories and struggles of hundreds of young men and women who have pursued the search for true love, Fileta helps readers bypass unnecessary pain while focusing on the things that really matter in the world of dating. |
| are the couples from couples therapy still together: Eight Dates John Gottman, Julie Schwartz Gottman, Doug Abrams, Rachel Carlton Abrams, 2019-02-05 Whether you’re newly together and eager to make it work or a longtime couple looking to strengthen and deepen your bond, Eight Dates offers a program of how, why, and when to have eight basic conversations with your partner that can result in a lifetime of love. “Happily ever after” is not by chance, it’s by choice– the choice each person in a relationship makes to remain open, remain curious, and, most of all, to keep talking to one another. From award-winning marriage researcher and bestselling author Dr. John Gottman and fellow researcher Julie Gottman, Eight Dates offers an ingenious and simple-to-implement approach to effective relationship communication. Here are the subjects that every serious couple should discuss: Trust. Family. Sex and intimacy. Dealing with conflict. Work and money. Dreams, and more. And here is how to talk about them—how to broach subjects that are difficult or embarrassing, how to be brave enough to say what you really feel. There are also suggestions for where and when to go on each date—book your favorite romantic restaurant for the Sex & Intimacy conversation (and maybe go to a yoga or dance class beforehand). There are questionnaires, innovative exercises, real-life case studies, and skills to master, including the Four Skills of Intimate Conversation and the Art of Listening. Because making love last is not about having a certain feeling—it’s about both of you being active and involved. |
| are the couples from couples therapy still together: It Takes One to Tango Winifred M. Reilly, 2017-04-04 With a focus on self-empowerment and resilience, this refreshing and witty relationship guide has a reassuring counterintuitive message for unhappy spouses: you only need one partner to initiate far-reaching positive change in a marriage. Conventional wisdom says that “it takes two” to turn a troubled marriage around and that both partners must have a shared commitment to change. So when couples can’t agree on how—or whether—to make their marriage better, many give up or settle for a less-than-satisfying marriage (or think the only way out is divorce). Fortunately, there is an alternative. “What distinguishes Reilly’s book is that she says a warring couple don’t have to agree on the goal of staying together; it takes one person changing, not both, to make a marriage work” (The New York Times). Marriage and family therapist Winifred Reilly has this message for struggling partners: Take the lead. Doing so is effective—and powerful. Through Reilly’s own story of reclaiming her now nearly forty-year marriage, along with anecdotes from many clients she’s worked with, you’ll learn how to: -Focus on your own behaviors and change them in ways that make you feel good about yourself and your marriage -Take a firm stand for what truly matters to you without arguing, cajoling, or resorting to threats -Identify the “big picture” issues at the basis of your repetitive fights—and learn how to unhook from them -Be less reactive, especially in the face of your spouse’s provocations -Develop the strength and stamina to be the sole agent of change Combining psychological theory, practical advice, and personal narrative, It Takes One to Tango is a “wise and uplifting” (Dr. Ellyn Bader, Director of The Couples Institute) guide that will empower those who choose to take a bold, proactive approach to creating a loving and lasting marriage. |
| are the couples from couples therapy still together: In Quest of the Mythical Mate Ellyn Bader, Peter Pearson, 2013-05-13 In Quest of the Mythical Mate presents a valuable and fertile developmental model for diagnosing and treating couples that is flexible enough to incorporate a wide variety of intervention strategies, yet purposeful enough to give a clear sense of direction to couples in distress. As such, this volume provides a powerful therapeutic approach for all professionals who treat couples. |
| are the couples from couples therapy still together: Clinical Casebook of Couple Therapy Alan S. Gurman, 2012-11-26 An ideal supplemental text, this instructive casebook presents in-depth illustrations of treatment based on the most important couple therapy models. An array of leading clinicians offer a window onto how they work with clients grappling with mild and more serious clinical concerns, including conflicts surrounding intimacy, sex, power, and communication; parenting issues; and mental illness. Featuring couples of varying ages, cultural backgrounds, and sexual orientations, the cases shed light on both what works and what doesn't work when treating intimate partners. Each candid case presentation includes engaging comments and discussion questions from the editor. See also Clinical Handbook of Couple Therapy, Fourth Edition, also edited by Alan S. Gurman, which provides an authoritative overview of theory and practice. |
| are the couples from couples therapy still together: Mating in Captivity Esther Perel, 2007-10-30 One of the world’s most respected voices on erotic intelligence, Esther Perel offers a bold, provocative new take on intimacy and sex. Mating in Captivity invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home. Drawing on more than twenty years of experience as a couples therapist, Perel examines the complexities of sustaining desire. Through case studies and lively discussion, Perel demonstrates how more exciting, playful, and even poetic sex is possible in long-term relationships. Wise, witty, and as revelatory as it is straightforward, Mating in Captivity is a sensational book that will transform the way you live and love. |
| are the couples from couples therapy still together: Love Cycles, Fear Cycles David Woodsfellow, Deborah Woodsfellow, 2018-03-27 Love Cycles, Fear Cycles teaches readers the most important idea in all of couples therapy. This idea gives readers a new understanding of what’s been going wrong in their marriage – and a new way to make things right. The key idea is changing a couple’s negative cycle back into their positive cycle. Most relationships start in a positive cycle, where both people feel wonderful and respond lovingly. There are four words that describe each couple’s positive cycle – one for each person’s good feeling, and one for each person’s loving response. However, as challenges arise, people instinctively respond with some type of fight or flight. Over time, these responses spiral together into a negative cycle where each person feels bad and responds defensively. There are four words for each couple’s negative cycle – one for each person’s worst feeling, and one for each person’s defensive reaction. Many couples get trapped in their negative cycle and their relationship spirals deeper into hurt and loneliness. To have a good marriage, a couple needs to find a way out of their negative cycle and back into their positive cycle. Love Cycles, Fear Cycles teaches readers how to do that. From his decades as a couples therapist, Dr. Woodsfellow has distilled this one most-essential component of all successful marriage counseling. He now presents this to the general public in a way that is easy to understand and easy to use. |
| are the couples from couples therapy still together: Slave Play Jeremy O. Harris, 2024-07-11 The Old South lives on at the MacGregor Plantation - in the breeze, in the cotton fields... and in the crack of the whip. Nothing is as it seems, and yet everything is as it seems. Jeremy O. Harris's Slave Play rips apart history to shed new light on the nexus of race, gender and sexuality in twenty-first-century America. It opened at New York Theatre Workshop in November 2018, and transferred to Broadway the following year. This edition is published alongside the West End production in 2024. 'How to explain Harris? He is like Tennessee Williams, if Williams had been Prince. Or Truman Capote, if Capote had been Paradise Garage. He is a firebrand writer with whipcrack humour. He has two brilliant plays under his belt, Slave Play and Daddy. He is such a queer hero of our times that the New York neighbourhood he lives in has become fleetingly famous. One of Jeremy O. Harris's plays coming to London is a major event' Evening Standard |
| are the couples from couples therapy still together: First, Kill All the Marriage Counselors Laura Doyle, 2015 Every marriage has its rough patches. If you're wondering how to repair yours, step away from the therapist, put down the magazine, and pick up this book. If you want to build a long, happy, fulfilling marriage, why not learn from the women who've done it? Laura Doyle's marriage was in trouble. After five years, her husband had become distant. He seemed checked out of their relationship, preferring watching TV to making love. There were frequent fights that ended with tense silences and even threats of divorce. Marriage counseling actually made their problems worse. Each session seemed to reinforce the feeling that she and her husband were just too far apart. Desperate to avoid divorcing the man she loved, Laura tried something different. Rather than consulting with experts or professionals, she simply started talking to women who'd been happily married for more than fifteen years. What she discovered shocked her. Everything she had heard in marriage counseling was wrong. Laura realized that there are some basic truths to relationships that can help women maintain loving, intimate marriages, such as: The happiness of your relationship is up to you! Women hold the keys to a happy relationship 95 percent of the time (and will learn what to do the other 5 percent). What men want most of all is to be treated with respect. Treat your man with respect (even if you aren't feeling it), and he will treat you with love and care. Your man wants to know he has your trust. Give it to him, and he'll realize you are special, because you will be! After seeing her own marriage transform, Laura set out to help other women do the same. In this book, you'll learn Laura's Six Intimacy Skills, which have been used by over 50,000 women who have transformed their previously unhappy marriages into blissful unions. Stop reading articles about how important it is to schedule date night, and learn how to transform your relationship into one bursting with energy, intimacy, and love. First, Kill All the Marriage Counselors will put you on the path to having the marriage you want with the man you love-- |
| are the couples from couples therapy still together: Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage Mark Gungor, 2009-03-03 By using his unique blend of humor and tell-it-like-it-is honesty, he helps couples get along and have fun doing it. |
| are the couples from couples therapy still together: Acceptance and Change in Couple Therapy Neil S. Jacobson, Andrew Christensen, 1998 An ideal text for all students of marital dynamics. |
| are the couples from couples therapy still together: Exaholics Lisa Marie Bobby, 2016-02-10 Severing a cherished relationship is one of the most painful experiences in life—and cutting those emotional ties to a loved one can feel almost like ending an addiction. Up till now, people recovering from other problems were able to get real help—like AA and rehab—while those struggling in the aftermath of traumatic breaks dealt with platitudes and friends insisting they should get over it already. But now Exaholics Anonymous treats getting over an ex like kicking a chemical habit. Written by counselor and therapist Dr. Lisa Bobby, Exaholics offers meaningful support and advice to anyone trapped in the obsessive pain of a broken, or dying, attachment. She helps the brokenhearted heal, showing them, on a deep level, how to develop a conceptual framework for their experience, understand the emotional processes at work inside themselves, find the path to recovery, and free themselves of shame, injured ego, and remorse. In-depth case studies of others' journeys will illuminate the way to future happiness. |
| are the couples from couples therapy still together: Loving with the Brain in Mind: Neurobiology and Couple Therapy (Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology) Mona DeKoven Fishbane, 2013-09-30 Facilitating change in couple therapy by understanding how the brain works to maintain—and break—old habits. Human brains and behavior are shaped by genetic predispositions and early experience. But we are not doomed by our genes or our past. Neuroscientific discoveries of the last decade have provided an optimistic and revolutionary view of adult brain function: People can change. This revelation about neuroplasticity offers hope to therapists and to couples seeking to improve their relationship. Loving With the Brain in Mind explores ways to help couples become proactive in revitalizing their relationship. It offers an in-depth understanding of the heartbreaking dynamics in unhappy couples and the healthy dynamics of couples who are flourishing. Sharing her extensive clinical experience and an integrative perspective informed by neuroscience and relationship science, Mona Fishbane gives us insight into the neurobiology underlying couples’ dances of reactivity. Readers will learn how partners become reactive and emotionally dysregulated with each other, and what is going on in their brains when they do. Clear and compelling discussions are included of the neurobiology of empathy and how empathy and selfregulation can be learned. Understanding neurobiology, explains Fishbane, can transform your clinical practice with couples and help you hone effective therapeutic interventions. This book aims to empower therapists— and the couples they treat—as they work to change interpersonal dynamics that drive them apart. Understanding how the brain works can inform the therapist’s theory of relationships, development, and change. And therapists can offer clients “neuroeducation” about their own reactivity and relationship distress and their potential for personal and relational growth. A gifted clinician and a particularly talented neuroscience writer, Dr. Fishbane presents complex material in an understandable and engaging manner. By anchoring her work in clinical cases, she never loses sight of the people behind the science. |
| are the couples from couples therapy still together: And Baby Makes Three John Gottman, PhD, Julie Schwartz Gottman, PhD, 2007-01-09 Having a baby is a joyous experience, but even the best relationships are strained during the transition from duo to trio. Lack of sleep, never-ending housework, and new fiscal concerns often lead to conflict, disappointment, and hurt feelings. In And Baby Makes Three Love Lab™ experts John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman teach couples the skills from their successful workshops, so partners can avoid the pitfalls of parenthood by: • maintaining intimacy and romance • replacing a culture of criticism and irritability with one of appreciation • preventing post-partum depression • creating a home environment that nurtures physical, emotional, and mental health, as well as cognitive and behavioral development for your baby Complete with exercises that separate the “master” from the “disaster” couples, And Baby Makes Three helps new parents positively manage the strain that comes along with their bundle of joy. |
| are the couples from couples therapy still together: The Hard Questions Susan Piver, 2021-06-22 A revised and expanded edition of the classic relationship book that has helped thousands of couples shape a shared vision for their lives together. With this simple-yet-profound relationship tool, Susan Piver shows couples at any stage of their relationships--whether they are considering engagement, have been married for decades, or just want to deepen their connection--how they can forge and strengthen lasting, intimate bonds. Focusing on key areas such as home, money, work, community, and family, The Hard Questions contains 100 thought-provoking questions for couples to ask each other, including: • What will our home look like? • What are our professional goals? • How do you feel about sharing our life on social media? • Will we try to have children, and if so, when? The Hard Questions provides couples with guidance and support for having the kind of conversations that will lead them to a deeper understanding of each other and a happy, healthy, and prosperous future together. |
| are the couples from couples therapy still together: 10 Principles for Doing Effective Couples Therapy (Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology) Julie Schwartz Gottman, John M. Gottman, 2015-10-26 From the country’s leading couple therapist duo, a practical guide to what makes it all work. In 10 Principles for Doing Effective Couples Therapy, two of the world’s leading couple researchers and therapists give readers an inside tour of what goes on inside the consulting rooms of their practice. They have been doing couples work for decades and still find it challenging and full of learning experiences. This book distills the knowledge they've gained over their years of practice into ten principles at the core of good couples work. Each principle is illustrated with a clinically compiled case plus personal side-notes and storytelling. Topics addressed include: • You know that you need to “treat the relationship,” but how are you supposed to get at something as elusive as “a relationship”? • How do you empathize with both clients if they have opposite points of view? Later on, if they end up separating does that mean you’ve failed? Are you only successful if you keep couples together? • Compared to an individual client, a relationship is an entirely different animal. What should you do first? What should you look for? What questions should you ask? If clients give different answers, who should you believe? • What are you supposed to do with all the emotional and personal history that your clients stir up in you? • How can you make your work research-based? No one who works with couples will want to be without the insight, guidance, and strategies offered in this book. |
| are the couples from couples therapy still together: The Course of Love Alain de Botton, 2016-06-14 “An engrossing tale [that] provides plenty of food for thought” (People, Best New Books pick), this playful, wise, and profoundly moving second novel from the internationally bestselling author of How Proust Can Change Your Life tracks the beautifully complicated arc of a romantic partnership. We all know the headiness and excitement of the early days of love. But what comes after? In Edinburgh, a couple, Rabih and Kirsten, fall in love. They get married, they have children—but no long-term relationship is as simple as “happily ever after.” The Course of Love explores what happens after the birth of love, what it takes to maintain, and what happens to our original ideals under the pressures of an average existence. We see, along with Rabih and Kirsten, the first flush of infatuation, the effortlessness of falling into romantic love, and the course of life thereafter. Interwoven with their story and its challenges is an overlay of philosophy—an annotation and a guide to what we are reading. As The New York Times says, “The Course of Love is a return to the form that made Mr. de Botton’s name in the mid-1990s….love is the subject best suited to his obsessive aphorizing, and in this novel he again shows off his ability to pin our hopes, methods, and insecurities to the page.” This is a Romantic novel in the true sense, one interested in exploring how love can survive and thrive in the long term. The result is a sensory experience—fictional, philosophical, psychological—that urges us to identify deeply with these characters and to reflect on his and her own experiences in love. Fresh, visceral, and utterly compelling, The Course of Love is a provocative and life-affirming novel for everyone who believes in love. “There’s no writer alive like de Botton, and his latest ambitious undertaking is as enlightening and humanizing as his previous works” (Chicago Tribune). |
| are the couples from couples therapy still together: Integrative Behavioral Couple Therapy: A Therapist's Guide to Creating Acceptance and Change, Second Edition Andrew Christensen, Brian D. Doss, Neil S. Jacobson, 2020-09-15 The definitive therapist manual for Integrative Behavioral Couple Therapy (IBCT)—one of the most empirically supported approaches to couple therapy. Andrew Christensen, codeveloper (along with the late Neil Jacobson) of Integrative Behavioral Couple Therapy, and Brian Doss provide an essential manual for their evidence-based practice. The authors offer guidance on formulation, assessment, and feedback of couples’ distress from an IBCT perspective. They also detail techniques to achieve acceptance and deliberate change. In this updated edition of the work, readers learn about innovations to the IBCT approach in the 20+ years since the publication of the original edition—including refinements of core therapeutic techniques. Additionally, this edition provides new guidance on working with diverse couples, complex clinical issues, and integrating technology into a course of treatment. |
| are the couples from couples therapy still together: A Roadmap for Couple Therapy Arthur C. Nielsen, 2016-06-17 A Roadmap for Couple Therapy offers a comprehensive, flexible, and user-friendly template for conducting couple therapy. Grounded in an in-depth review of the clinical and research literature, and drawing on the author’s 40-plus years of experience, it describes the three main approaches to conceptualizing couple distress and treatment—systemic, psychodynamic, and behavioral—and shows how they can be integrated into a model that draws on the best of each. Unlike multi-authored texts in which each chapter presents a distinct brand of couple therapy, this book simultaneously engages multiple viewpoints and synthesizes them into a coherent model. Covering fundamentals and advanced techniques, it speaks to both beginning therapists and experienced clinicians. Therapists will find A Roadmap for Couple Therapy an invaluable resource as they help distressed couples repair and revitalize their relationships. |
| are the couples from couples therapy still together: The Distance Cure Hannah Zeavin, 2021-08-17 Psychotherapy across distance and time, from Freud’s treatments by mail to crisis hotlines, radio call-ins, chatbots, and Zoom sessions. Therapy has long understood itself as taking place in a room, with two (or more) people engaged in person-to-person conversation. And yet, starting with Freud’s treatments by mail, psychotherapy has operated through multiple communication technologies and media. These have included advice columns, radio broadcasts, crisis hotlines, video, personal computers, and mobile phones; the therapists (broadly defined) can be professional or untrained, strangers or chatbots. In The Distance Cure, Hannah Zeavin proposes a reconfiguration of the traditional therapeutic dyad of therapist and patient as a triad: therapist, patient, and communication technology. Zeavin tracks the history of teletherapy (understood as a therapeutic interaction over distance) and its metamorphosis from a model of cure to one of contingent help. She describes its initial use in ongoing care, its role in crisis intervention and symptom management, and our pandemic-mandated reliance on regular Zoom sessions. Her account of the “distanced intimacy” of the therapeutic relationship offers a powerful rejoinder to the notion that contact across distance (or screens) is always less useful, or useless, to the person seeking therapeutic treatment or connection. At the same time, these modes of care can quickly become a backdoor for surveillance and disrupt ethical standards important to the therapeutic relationship. The history of the conventional therapeutic scenario cannot be told in isolation from its shadow form, teletherapy. Therapy, Zeavin tells us, was never just a “talking cure”; it has always been a communication cure. |
| are the couples from couples therapy still together: Happy Together Suzann Pileggi Pawelski, MAPP, James O. Pawelski PhD, 2018-01-16 How do you get to “happily ever after”? In fairy tales, lasting love just happens. But in real life, healthy habits are what build happiness over the long haul. Happy Together, written by positive psychology experts and husband-and-wife team Suzann Pileggi Pawelski and James O. Pawelski, is the first book on using the principles of positive psychology to create thriving romantic relationships. Combining extensive scientific research and real-life examples, this book will help you find and feed the good in yourself and your partner. You will learn to develop key habits for building and sustaining long-term love by: • Promoting a healthy passion • Prioritizing positive emotions • Mindfully savoring experiences together • Seeking out strengths in each other Through easy-to-follow methods and fun exercises, you’ll learn to strengthen your partnership, whether you’re looking to start a relationship off on the right foot, weather difficult times, reignite passion, or transform a good marriage into a great one. |
| are the couples from couples therapy still together: Betrayal Trauma Recovery Anne Blythe, 2019-05-05 A daily journal for women wondering if their husband's behavior is abusive. For women trying to determine if they should leave or stay. To help women decide if they want to divorce. A daily journal to help victims understand the reality and severity of their situation. For women who are considering separation or divorce due to their husband's lying, gaslighting, infidelity, emotional abuse, narcissistic behaviors. Visit btr.org for more information, and listen to the Betrayal Trauma Recovery podcast found on iTunes, Google Play, Spotify and other podcasting platforms. |
| are the couples from couples therapy still together: Counseling Before Marriage Everett L. Worthington, 1990 Everett Worthington's study on counseling before marriage is part of the Resources for Christian Counseling series, a series that combines the best of current psychological insight with rigorous adherence to Scripture. |
| are the couples from couples therapy still together: Fair Play Eve Rodsky, 2021-01-05 AN INSTANT NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • A REESE'S BOOK CLUB PICK Tired, stressed, and in need of more help from your partner? Imagine running your household (and life!) in a new way... It started with the Sh*t I Do List. Tired of being the “shefault” parent responsible for all aspects of her busy household, Eve Rodsky counted up all the unpaid, invisible work she was doing for her family—and then sent that list to her husband, asking for things to change. His response was...underwhelming. Rodsky realized that simply identifying the issue of unequal labor on the home front wasn't enough: She needed a solution to this universal problem. Her sanity, identity, career, and marriage depended on it. The result is Fair Play: a time- and anxiety-saving system that offers couples a completely new way to divvy up domestic responsibilities. Rodsky interviewed more than five hundred men and women from all walks of life to figure out what the invisible work in a family actually entails and how to get it all done efficiently. With 4 easy-to-follow rules, 100 household tasks, and a series of conversation starters for you and your partner, Fair Play helps you prioritize what's important to your family and who should take the lead on every chore, from laundry to homework to dinner. “Winning” this game means rebalancing your home life, reigniting your relationship with your significant other, and reclaiming your Unicorn Space—the time to develop the skills and passions that keep you interested and interesting. Stop drowning in to-dos and lose some of that invisible workload that's pulling you down. Are you ready to try Fair Play? Let's deal you in. |
| are the couples from couples therapy still together: Our Love Is Too Good to Feel So Bad Mira Kirshenbaum, 1998 We just don't know how to make each other happy any more. ''Sex used to be really good. Now it doesn't go right at all. You don't suddenly lose the ability to make scrambled eggs. So why would we forget how to make love? We can't seem to talk without fighting. How did we get into this? I know what we're mad about, but I don't know why things keep making us so mad. Many of us have had experiences like these. Something's wrong--perhaps seriously wrong--but it's a complete mystery why a once-healthy relationship is now in trouble. You're tired of working unproductively on it, you're tired of feeling so confused, and you're tired of solutions that seem complicated and irrelevant. You deserve to know what your real couples problem is and what to do to solve it. This book does something that no book has ever done before. It shows you how to sort through all the pain and confusion in your relationship, put your finger on exactly what's been causing all the troubles, and find the precise way to eliminate them. For the first time, psychotherapist and bestselling author Mira Kirshenbaum has identified ten love killers that cause all the pain and mysterious problems couples get into. By answering simple questions, you'll be able to diagnose your individual case and identify the love killers responsible for your specific problems. We just don't know how to make each other happy any more. ''Sex used to be really good. Now it doesn't go right at all. You don't suddenly lose the ability to make scrambled eggs. So why would we forget how to make love? We can't seem to talk without fighting. How did we get into this? I know what we're mad about, but I don't know why things keep making us so mad. Many of us have had experiences like these. Something's wrong--perhaps seriously wrong--but it's a complete mystery why a once-healthy relationship is now in trouble. You're tired of working unproductively on it, you're tired of feeling so confused, and you're tired of solutions that seem complicated and irrelevant. You deserve to know what your real couples problem is and what to do to solve it. This book does something that no book has ever done before. It shows you how to sort through all the pain and confusion in your relationship, put your finger on exactly what's been causing all the troubles, and find the precise way to eliminate them. For the first time, psychotherapist and bestselling author Mira Kirshenbaum has identified ten love killers that cause all the pain and mysterious problems couples get into. By answering simple questions, you'll be able to diagnose your individual case and identify the love killers responsible for your specific problems. |
| are the couples from couples therapy still together: Can This Marriage Be Saved? Paul Popenoe, 2008-11 Can This Marriage Be Saved? by Paul Popenoe Other Books by Paul Popenoe MODERN MARRIAGE: A HANDBOOK FOR MEN MARRIAGE BEFORE AND AFTER MARRIAGE IS WHAT YOU MAKE IT DIVORCE - 17 WAYS TO AVOID IT Introduction: Marriage Counseling at the American Institute of Family Relations When the American Institute of Family Relations opened its doors in Los Angeles, California, on February 4, 1930, we were incorporated as a nonprofit organization dedicated to employing the resources of modern science to strengthen marriage and family life. At that time there was much talk about the rising divorce rate, but almost no concerted effort was made to check it. Our undertaking, with skilled services available to everybody at minimum cost, was the first of its kind in the world. In the beginning we had a group of four nationally known psychological consultants and eight medical consultants on whom to call whenever necessary. I myself did all of the marriage counseling with the sole aid of a retired psychiatric social worker, who also acted as the receptionist in our offices. To a large section of the general public in that day the purpose of marriage counseling was a mystery. Our first client, a woman, appeared at my desk with a poorly dressed, dejected man who she announced was penniless. Despite this liability, she wanted to marry him. She had been informed that our chief function was to promote successful marriages, and she suggested it was my responsibility to lend her companion enough money so they could marry and start a new home. Unfortunately, my assistant and I were unable to meet this challenge thus we failed on our very first case! Another client of those early days was an orange grower to whom I gave a personality test. He listened with interest as I explained the results and said, That's just about right. Then he asked, Do you believe in numerology? Not at all, I replied. It hasn't the slightest scientific standing. Well, he rejoined, I consulted a numerologist before coming here, and he told me exactly what you have just told me only he didn't charge me so much for it! Still another client reported to me that his wife complained he did not support the family adequately, but that their money troubles were really all her fault. She controlled the finances and would not let him have enough capital to carry on his business and make a living. What is your business? I asked, and he replied after a momentary pause, I play the races. Most of our clients, of course, were burdened by far more serious worries. At that time Los Angeles had no Family Service, and people appealed to us with a wide range of questions they could not get answered elsewhere. A breakdown of our first 1000 cases shows that we gave assistance in premarital and child welfare problems, and advised on matters of education, law, heredity, and sex. Only 245 of our first 1000 cases were concerned with marital maladjustment amp field which now represents the major part of our work. |
| are the couples from couples therapy still together: Saving Psychotherapy Benjamin E. Caldwell, 2015-09-22 It is a troubling time to be a therapist. Despite decades of powerful evidence that psychotherapy works, and tremendous advances in both policy and technology making therapy available to more of those who need it, the number of people actually going to therapy is flat or even declining. While training to be a therapist continues to get more expensive, therapists' salaries aren't even keeping up with inflation.Saving Psychotherapy addresses some of the troubling realities behind these truths. There is strong data to suggest:- The field avoids claiming meaningful values, leaving clients uncertain about the kind of guidance and support - if any - they will receive- The modern training process for therapists rewards wealth much more than merit- Many therapists express an open hostility to science and knowledge, even when it supports our work- There is little accountability for therapists to ever prove that they know what they're doing- Therapists are generally uninvolved in public debate, freely giving up their roles as society's experts on mental health and positive changePsychotherapy deserves a brighter future than the one we're on track for. And the first step toward getting that brighter future is for individual therapists at all career levels to take personal responsibility for it. In this data-driven, unflinching, and relentlessly optimistic look at the state of psychotherapy today, you will learn simple steps any therapist can take to make your practice more reputable and successful -- while improving the health and reputation of the entire field. |
| are the couples from couples therapy still together: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work John Gottman, PhD, Nan Silver, 2015-05-05 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Over a million copies sold! “An eminently practical guide to an emotionally intelligent—and long-lasting—marriage.”—Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work has revolutionized the way we understand, repair, and strengthen marriages. John Gottman’s unprecedented study of couples over a period of years has allowed him to observe the habits that can make—and break—a marriage. Here is the culmination of that work: the seven principles that guide couples on a path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward yet profound, these principles teach partners new approaches for resolving conflicts, creating new common ground, and achieving greater levels of intimacy. Gottman offers strategies and resources to help couples collaborate more effectively to resolve any problem, whether dealing with issues related to sex, money, religion, work, family, or anything else. Packed with new exercises and the latest research out of the esteemed Gottman Institute, this revised edition of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential. |
| are the couples from couples therapy still together: Behavioral Couples Therapy for Alcoholism and Drug Abuse Timothy J. O'Farrell, William Fals-Stewart, 2012-03-12 This eminently practical guide presents an empirically supported approach for treating people with substance abuse problems and their spouses or domestic partners. Behavioral couples therapy (BCT) explicitly focuses on both substance use and relationship issues, and is readily compatible with 12-step approaches. In a convenient large-size format, the book provides all the materials needed to introduce BCT; implement a recovery contract to support abstinence; work with clients to increase positive activities, improve communication, and reduce relapse risks; and deal with special treatment challenges. Appendices include a session-by-session treatment manual and 70 reproducible checklists, forms, and client education posters. |
| are the couples from couples therapy still together: The Five Love Languages Gary Chapman, 2009-12-17 Marriage should be based on love, right? But does it seem as though you and your spouse are speaking two different languages? #1 New York Times bestselling author Dr. Gary Chapman guides couples in identifying, understanding, and speaking their spouse's primary love language-quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, or physical touch. By learning the five love languages, you and your spouse will discover your unique love languages and learn practical steps in truly loving each other. Chapters are categorized by love language for easy reference, and each one ends with simple steps to express a specific language to your spouse and guide your marriage in the right direction. A newly designed love languages assessment will help you understand and strengthen your relationship. You can build a lasting, loving marriage together. Gary Chapman hosts a nationally syndicated daily radio program called A Love Language Minute that can be heard on more than 150 radio stations as well as the weekly syndicated program Building Relationships with Gary Chapman, which can both be heard on fivelovelanguages.com. The Five Love Languages is a consistent New York Times bestseller - with over 5 million copies sold and translated into 38 languages. This book is a sales phenomenon, with each year outselling the prior for 16 years running! |
| are the couples from couples therapy still together: Projective Identification and Psychotherapeutic Technique Thomas H. Ogden, 1982 An examination of projective identification and its clinical uses from a Kleinian perspective. The author puts forward the hypothesis that identification is the patient's way of mastering significant trauma. |
| are the couples from couples therapy still together: The State of Affairs Esther Perel, 2017-10-10 A fresh look at infidelity, broadening the focus from the havoc it wreaks within a committed relationship to consider also why people do it, what it means to them, and why breaking up is the expected response to duplicity — but not necessarily the wisest one.” — LA Review of Books From iconic couples’ therapist and bestselling author of Mating in Captivity comes a provocative and controversial look at infidelity with practical, honest, and empathetic advice for how to move beyond it. An affair: it can rob a couple of their relationship, their happiness, their very identity. And yet, this extremely common human experience is so poorly understood. What are we to make of this time-honored taboo—universally forbidden yet universally practiced? Why do people cheat—even those in happy marriages? Why does an affair hurt so much? When we say infidelity, what exactly do we mean? Do our romantic expectations of marriage set us up for betrayal? Is there such a thing as an affair-proof marriage? Is it possible to love more than one person at once? Can an affair ever help a marriage? Perel weaves real-life case stories with incisive psychological and cultural analysis in this fast-paced and compelling book. For the past ten years, Perel has traveled the globe and worked with hundreds of couples who have grappled with infidelity. Betrayal hurts, she writes, but it can be healed. An affair can even be the doorway to a new marriage—with the same person. With the right approach, couples can grow and learn from these tumultuous experiences, together or apart. Affairs, she argues, have a lot to teach us about modern relationships—what we expect, what we think we want, and what we feel entitled to. They offer a unique window into our personal and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment. Through examining illicit love from multiple angles, Perel invites readers into an honest, enlightened, and entertaining exploration of modern marriage in its many variations. Fiercely intelligent, The State of Affairs provides a daring framework for understanding the intricacies of love and desire. As Perel observes, “Love is messy; infidelity more so. But it is also a window, like no other, into the crevices of the human heart.” |
| are the couples from couples therapy still together: Basics of California Law for LMFTs, LPCCs, and LCSWs Benjamin E. Caldwell, 2015-01-01 This text makes an excellent resource for students, interns, and licensed clinicians seeking an easy reference for important aspects of California law. |
| are the couples from couples therapy still together: Couples in Treatment Gerald Weeks, Stephen Treat, 2013-05-13 First Published in 2001. Routledge is an imprint of Taylor & Francis, an informa company. |
| are the couples from couples therapy still together: Adult ADHD-Focused Couple Therapy Gina Pera, Arthur L. Robin, 2016-01-08 Since ADHD became a well-known condition, decades ago, much of the research and clinical discourse has focused on youth. In recent years, attention has expanded to the realm of adult ADHD and the havoc it can wreak on many aspects of adult life, including driving safety, financial management, education and employment, and interpersonal difficulties. Adult ADHD-Focused Couple Therapy breaks new ground in explaining and suggesting approaches for treating the range of challenges that ADHD can create within a most important and delicate relationship: the intimate couple. With the help of contributors who are experts in their specialties, Pera and Robin provide the clinician with a step-by-step, nuts-and-bolts approach to help couples enhance their relationship and improve domestic cooperation. This comprehensive guide includes psychoeducation, medication guidelines, cognitive interventions, co-parenting techniques, habit change and communication strategies, and ADHD-specific clinical suggestions around sexuality, money, and cyber-addictions. More than twenty detailed case studies provide real-life examples of ways to implement the interventions. |
| are the couples from couples therapy still together: I Ain't Much, Baby--But I'm All I've Got Jess Lair, Ph.D., 1995-03-01 What are some of the discoveries I have made? I found I needed people because I needed the love they could give me. I found that love was something I did. I found that the way I showed people my need and love for them was to tell how it was with me in my deepest heart. I came to feel that was the most loving thing I could do for anyone -- tell them how it was with me and share my imperfections with them. When I did this, most people came back at me with what was deep within them. This was love coming to me. And the more I had coming to me, the more I had to give away. I ain't much, baby -- but I'm all I've got. From his experience comes I Ain't Much, Baby -- But I'm All I've Got. Lair originally wrote this book for his students, but when it gained widespread popularity he rewrote it for publication. It is a book meant to help people share in the success of finding themselves. |
| are the couples from couples therapy still together: Reconcilable Differences Andrew Christensen, Neil S. Jacobson, 1999-10-06 Every couple has arguments, but what happens when recurring battles begin to feel like full-scale war? Do you retreat in hurt and angry silence, hoping that a spouse who just doesn't get it will eventually see things your way? Spend the time between skirmishes gathering evidence that you're right? Demand some immediate changes--or else? Whether due to innate personality traits or emotional vulnerabilities, there are some aspects of our behavior that are difficult to alter. But these differences do not have to get in the way of healthy, happy, and long-lasting romance. This practical guide offers new solutions for couples frustrated by continual attempts to make each other change. Aided by thought-provoking exercises and lots of real-life examples, readers will learn why they keep having the same fights again and again; how to keep small incompatibilities from causing big problems; and how true acceptance can restore health to their relationships. |
| are the couples from couples therapy still together: The 72 Hour Rule Margot Brown, 2011 The 72 Hour Rule focuses on helping adult individuals and couples to communicate more effectively. This book helps the reader identify their own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Then, the reader is guided through a series of topics, and real-time stories and exercises that will help them achieve successful communication with their partner. This book provides easy-to-use step-by-step exercises to help couples improve their relationship. This book examines substance abuse, violence, mental illness, unemployment, family dynamics, and affairs as topics of discussion, and is a breakthrough for all partners who avoid couples therapy or who have had a previous negative counseling experience. This book is based on both research and experience. Read this book as a couple together; integrate new communication tools into your relationship. The 72 Hour Rule is a simple and effective guideline to a more caring and connected partnership. |
| are the couples from couples therapy still together: We Do Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT, 2018-12-01 “If you and your prospective partner adopt the principles and skills I describe here, your relationship will be successful—not just for starters, but for the long run.” An indispensable guide for any couple ready to set the foundation for a loving and lasting union Committing fully to a loving partnership—a “we”—can be one of the most beautiful and fulfilling experiences you’ll ever have. Yet as anyone in a long-term relationship will tell you, it can also be one of the most challenging. Almost half of all first marriages end in divorce, and chances go down from there. So how do you beat the odds? “All successful long-term relationships are secure relationships,” writes psychotherapist Stan Tatkin. “You and your partner take care of each other in a way that ensures you both feel safe, protected, accepted, and secure at all times.” In We Do, Tatkin provides a groundbreaking guide for couples. You’ll figure out whether you and your partner are right for each other in the long term, and if so, give your relationship a strong foundation so you can enjoy a secure and lasting love. Highlights include: Create a shared vision for your relationship, the key to a strong foundationIt’s all about prevention—learn tools and techniques for preventing problems before they occurUnderstand how to work with the psychological and biological influences in your relationship—neuroscience, arousal regulation, attachment theory, and moreNumerous case studies with helpful examples of healthy and unhealthy interactions, sample dialogues, and reflectionsDozens of exercises—the newlywed game, reading facial expressions, and many more fun and serious practices to develop intimacy and securityHandling conflict—how to broker win-win outcomesBuild a loving relationship that helps you thrive and grow as both individuals and a couple Common interests, physical attraction, shared values, and good communication skills are the factors most commonly thought to indicate a good partnership. Yet surprisingly, current research reveals that these are only a small part of what makes for a healthy marriage—much more important are psychological and biological influences. With We Do, you’ll learn to navigate these elements and more, giving your relationship the best possible chance to succeed. |
| are the couples from couples therapy still together: Couples Therapy for Domestic Violence Sandra M. Stith, Eric E. McCollum, Karen H. Rosen, 2011 Up to 65% of couples who seek therapy for marital problems have had at least one prior violent episode. Unfortunately, therapists often miss this critical information because they do not effectively assess for it. This book presents a safety-focused approach to assessment and treatment of couples who choose to remain together after one or both partners have been violent. Treatment options for intimate partner violence have evolved alongside the growing awareness and broader definitions of domestic violence. Since 1997 the authors have conducted Domestic Violence Focused Couples Treatment (DVFCT), collected data, and refined their program. The authors outline their assessment and screening process and share case illustrations to demonstrate when conjoint treatment can be a safe and viable option. Readers get an overview of the 18-session course of DVFCT and tips for adapting it for multi-couple groups or for a single couple. The major tenets of solution-focused therapy, such as underscoring even the smallest of successes, are emphasized throughout, as are the following special features: -safety planning -mindfulness techniques for anger awareness and reduction -negotiated time-out procedures -drug and alcohol use modules -psychoeducational tools and materials on violence Therapists will learn how to assess intimate partner violence and help couples eliminate all forms of violence and begin on a positive path toward their vision of a healthy relationship. |
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