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| funny opening lines for graduation speeches: This Is Water Kenyon College, 2014-05-22 Only once did David Foster Wallace give a public talk on his views on life, during a commencement address given in 2005 at Kenyon College. The speech is reprinted for the first time in book form in THIS IS WATER. How does one keep from going through their comfortable, prosperous adult life unconsciously' How do we get ourselves out of the foreground of our thoughts and achieve compassion' The speech captures Wallace's electric intellect as well as his grace in attention to others. After his death, it became a treasured piece of writing reprinted in The Wall Street Journal and the London Times, commented on endlessly in blogs, and emailed from friend to friend. Writing with his one-of-a-kind blend of causal humor, exacting intellect, and practical philosophy, David Foster Wallace probes the challenges of daily living and offers advice that renews us with every reading. |
| funny opening lines for graduation speeches: Very Good Lives J. K. Rowling, 2015-04-14 J.K. Rowling, one of the world's most inspiring writers, shares her wisdom and advice. In 2008, J.K. Rowling delivered a deeply affecting commencement speech at Harvard University. Now published for the first time in book form, VERY GOOD LIVES presents J.K. Rowling's words of wisdom for anyone at a turning point in life. How can we embrace failure? And how can we use our imagination to better both ourselves and others? Drawing from stories of her own post-graduate years, the world famous author addresses some of life's most important questions with acuity and emotional force. |
| funny opening lines for graduation speeches: The Last Lecture Randy Pausch, Jeffrey Zaslow, 2010 The author, a computer science professor diagnosed with terminal cancer, explores his life, the lessons that he has learned, how he has worked to achieve his childhood dreams, and the effect of his diagnosis on him and his family. |
| funny opening lines for graduation speeches: A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Future Michael J. Fox, 2010-04-13 Michael J. Fox abandoned high school to pursue an acting career, but went on to receive honorary degrees from several universities and garner the highest accolades for his acting, as well as for his writing. In his new book, he inspires and motivates graduates to recognize opportunities, maximize their abilities, and roll with the punches--all with his trademark optimism, warmth, and humor. In A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Future, Michael draws on his own life experiences to make a case that real learning happens when life goes skidding sideways. He writes of coming to Los Angeles from Canada at age eighteen and attempting to make his way as an actor. Fox offers up a comically skewed take on how, in his own way, he fulfilled the requirements of a college syllabus. He learned Economics as a starving artist; an unexpected turn as a neophyte activist schooled him in Political Science; and his approach to Comparative Literature involved stacking books up against their movie versions. Replete with personal stories and hilarious anecdotes, Michael J. Fox's new book is the perfect gift for graduates. |
| funny opening lines for graduation speeches: You Can Do Anything George Anders, 2017-08-08 In a tech-dominated world, the most needed degrees are the most surprising: the liberal arts. Did you take the right classes in college? Will your major help you get the right job offers? For more than a decade, the national spotlight has focused on science and engineering as the only reliable choice for finding a successful post-grad career. Our destinies have been reduced to a caricature: learn to write computer code or end up behind a counter, pouring coffee. Quietly, though, a different path to success has been taking shape. In You Can Do Anything, George Anders explains the remarkable power of a liberal arts education - and the ways it can open the door to thousands of cutting-edge jobs every week. The key insight: curiosity, creativity, and empathy aren't unruly traits that must be reined in. You can be yourself, as an English major, and thrive in sales. You can segue from anthropology into the booming new field of user research; from classics into management consulting, and from philosophy into high-stakes investing. At any stage of your career, you can bring a humanist's grace to our rapidly evolving high-tech future. And if you know how to attack the job market, your opportunities will be vast. In this book, you will learn why resume-writing is fading in importance and why telling your story is taking its place. You will learn how to create jobs that don't exist yet, and to translate your campus achievements into a new style of expression that will make employers' eyes light up. You will discover why people who start in eccentric first jobs - and then make their own luck - so often race ahead of peers whose post-college hunt focuses only on security and starting pay. You will be ready for anything. |
| funny opening lines for graduation speeches: Ask a Manager Alison Green, 2018-05-01 From the creator of the popular website Ask a Manager and New York’s work-advice columnist comes a witty, practical guide to 200 difficult professional conversations—featuring all-new advice! There’s a reason Alison Green has been called “the Dear Abby of the work world.” Ten years as a workplace-advice columnist have taught her that people avoid awkward conversations in the office because they simply don’t know what to say. Thankfully, Green does—and in this incredibly helpful book, she tackles the tough discussions you may need to have during your career. You’ll learn what to say when • coworkers push their work on you—then take credit for it • you accidentally trash-talk someone in an email then hit “reply all” • you’re being micromanaged—or not being managed at all • you catch a colleague in a lie • your boss seems unhappy with your work • your cubemate’s loud speakerphone is making you homicidal • you got drunk at the holiday party Praise for Ask a Manager “A must-read for anyone who works . . . [Alison Green’s] advice boils down to the idea that you should be professional (even when others are not) and that communicating in a straightforward manner with candor and kindness will get you far, no matter where you work.”—Booklist (starred review) “The author’s friendly, warm, no-nonsense writing is a pleasure to read, and her advice can be widely applied to relationships in all areas of readers’ lives. Ideal for anyone new to the job market or new to management, or anyone hoping to improve their work experience.”—Library Journal (starred review) “I am a huge fan of Alison Green’s Ask a Manager column. This book is even better. It teaches us how to deal with many of the most vexing big and little problems in our workplaces—and to do so with grace, confidence, and a sense of humor.”—Robert Sutton, Stanford professor and author of The No Asshole Rule and The Asshole Survival Guide “Ask a Manager is the ultimate playbook for navigating the traditional workforce in a diplomatic but firm way.”—Erin Lowry, author of Broke Millennial: Stop Scraping By and Get Your Financial Life Together |
| funny opening lines for graduation speeches: However Long and Hard the Road Jeffrey R. Holland, 1985-08 |
| funny opening lines for graduation speeches: Congratulations, by the Way George Saunders, 2014-01-01 An inspiring message from the inaugural Folio Prize winner, George Saunders, one of today's most influential and original writers |
| funny opening lines for graduation speeches: Lincoln in the Bardo George Saunders, 2017-02-14 #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • WINNER OF THE MAN BOOKER PRIZE The “devastatingly moving” (People) first novel from the author of Tenth of December: a moving and original father-son story featuring none other than Abraham Lincoln, as well as an unforgettable cast of supporting characters, living and dead, historical and invented One of The New York Times’s 100 Best Books of the 21st Century • One of The Atlantic’s Great American Novels of the Past 100 Years • One of Paste’s Best Novels of the Decade Named One of the Ten Best Books of the Year by The Washington Post, USA Today, and Maureen Corrigan, NPR • One of Time’s Ten Best Novels of the Year • A New York Times Notable Book • One of O: The Oprah Magazine’s Best Books of the Year February 1862. The Civil War is less than one year old. The fighting has begun in earnest, and the nation has begun to realize it is in for a long, bloody struggle. Meanwhile, President Lincoln’s beloved eleven-year-old son, Willie, lies upstairs in the White House, gravely ill. In a matter of days, despite predictions of a recovery, Willie dies and is laid to rest in a Georgetown cemetery. “My poor boy, he was too good for this earth,” the president says at the time. “God has called him home.” Newspapers report that a grief-stricken Lincoln returns, alone, to the crypt several times to hold his boy’s body. From that seed of historical truth, George Saunders spins an unforgettable story of familial love and loss that breaks free of its realistic, historical framework into a supernatural realm both hilarious and terrifying. Willie Lincoln finds himself in a strange purgatory where ghosts mingle, gripe, commiserate, quarrel, and enact bizarre acts of penance. Within this transitional state—called, in the Tibetan tradition, the bardo—a monumental struggle erupts over young Willie’s soul. Lincoln in the Bardo is an astonishing feat of imagination and a bold step forward from one of the most important and influential writers of his generation. Formally daring, generous in spirit, deeply concerned with matters of the heart, it is a testament to fiction’s ability to speak honestly and powerfully to the things that really matter to us. Saunders has invented a thrilling new form that deploys a kaleidoscopic, theatrical panorama of voices to ask a timeless, profound question: How do we live and love when we know that everything we love must end? “A luminous feat of generosity and humanism.”—Colson Whitehead, The New York Times Book Review “A masterpiece.”—Zadie Smith |
| funny opening lines for graduation speeches: Little Women Louisa May Alcott, 1926 |
| funny opening lines for graduation speeches: Certain Trumpets Garry Wills, 2013-05-28 This “beautifully written and reasoned” (Booklist) narrative by Pulitzer Prize-winning author Garry Wills examines what constitutes meaningful leadership, and why it is so essential to society. What makes a leader? How do we identify effective leadership, and how should—and shouldn’t—that power be used? In Certain Trumpets, Garry Wills presents portraits of eminent leaders including FDR to Ross Perot, King David, Martha Graham, and many others, offering an illuminating lens for studying society and ourselves. Dividing these portraits into sixteen leadership categories ranging from military to charismatic, intellectual, rhetorical, and elected, Wills highlights what makes each of his subjects unique, crafting along the way a distinct and incisive definition of leadership as a reciprocal engagement between two contrasting wills that serves to mobilize us toward a common good, and explaining why leadership is so often a contentious and emotionally charged subject. “A stunningly literate and thoughtful examination of what makes a leader…[and] a welcome antidote to some of the more egregious ‘management style’ drivel,” (Kirkus Reviews), Certain Trumpets is an inspiring and edifying tour through the history of an indispensable social art. |
| funny opening lines for graduation speeches: Grown and Flown Lisa Heffernan, Mary Dell Harrington, 2019-09-03 PARENTING NEVER ENDS. From the founders of the #1 site for parents of teens and young adults comes an essential guide for building strong relationships with your teens and preparing them to successfully launch into adulthood The high school and college years: an extended roller coaster of academics, friends, first loves, first break-ups, driver’s ed, jobs, and everything in between. Kids are constantly changing and how we parent them must change, too. But how do we stay close as a family as our lives move apart? Enter the co-founders of Grown and Flown, Lisa Heffernan and Mary Dell Harrington. In the midst of guiding their own kids through this transition, they launched what has become the largest website and online community for parents of fifteen to twenty-five year olds. Now they’ve compiled new takeaways and fresh insights from all that they’ve learned into this handy, must-have guide. Grown and Flown is a one-stop resource for parenting teenagers, leading up to—and through—high school and those first years of independence. It covers everything from the monumental (how to let your kids go) to the mundane (how to shop for a dorm room). Organized by topic—such as academics, anxiety and mental health, college life—it features a combination of stories, advice from professionals, and practical sidebars. Consider this your parenting lifeline: an easy-to-use manual that offers support and perspective. Grown and Flown is required reading for anyone looking to raise an adult with whom you have an enduring, profound connection. |
| funny opening lines for graduation speeches: Make Your Bed Admiral William H. McRaven, 2017-04-04 Based on a Navy SEAL's inspiring graduation speech, this #1 New York Times bestseller of powerful life lessons should be read by every leader in America (Wall Street Journal). If you want to change the world, start off by making your bed. On May 17, 2014, Admiral William H. McRaven addressed the graduating class of the University of Texas at Austin on their Commencement day. Taking inspiration from the university's slogan, What starts here changes the world, he shared the ten principles he learned during Navy Seal training that helped him overcome challenges not only in his training and long Naval career, but also throughout his life; and he explained how anyone can use these basic lessons to change themselves-and the world-for the better. Admiral McRaven's original speech went viral with over 10 million views. Building on the core tenets laid out in his speech, McRaven now recounts tales from his own life and from those of people he encountered during his military service who dealt with hardship and made tough decisions with determination, compassion, honor, and courage. Told with great humility and optimism, this timeless book provides simple wisdom, practical advice, and words of encouragement that will inspire readers to achieve more, even in life's darkest moments. Powerful. --USA Today Full of captivating personal anecdotes from inside the national security vault. --Washington Post Superb, smart, and succinct. --Forbes |
| funny opening lines for graduation speeches: You Are Not Special and Other Encouragements David McCullough Jr, 2014-05-01 An inspirational and timely reflection on the way we bring up children that will resonate with parents everywhere. 'Longtime high school English teacher McCullough scores an A+ with this volume for teens and parents. Rich in literary references and poetic in cadence, the author also offers plenty of hilarious and pointed comments on teens and today's society.' - Publishers Weekly So you think you're special? Well, think again: you're not. David McCullough Jr, a US high-school English teacher, found himself suddenly famous in 2012 when his commencement address to graduating high-school seniors went viral on Youtube. the main theme of that speech, 'You're not special', seemed to hit a nerve and validate a sense among people worldwide that something is deeply and fundamentally wrong with the way children are being raised today. From infancy, he observed, children are taught to believe they are unique and special, deserving of every advantage, destined for success. Consequently they learn to work hard and distinguish themselves for the sake of status and material reward rather than for the benefit of others - the larger community; the world. Success is defined as something almost entirely selfish. there is little attention or time given to the pursuit of education for the sake of wisdom, or even real happiness. Drawing from his long career as an educator and experience as a father of teenage boys, McCullough will expand upon the ideas laid out in his radical twelve-minute speech and argue that we can do better - as parents and as teachers - than fostering in our children a sense of privilege and entitlement. Watch the speech at: www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lfxYhtf8o4 Or read it at: http://theswellesleyreport.com/2012/06/wellesley-high-grads-told-youre-not-special/ |
| funny opening lines for graduation speeches: The Catcher in the Rye J. D. Salinger, 2024-06-28 The Catcher in the Rye," written by J.D. Salinger and published in 1951, is a classic American novel that explores the themes of adolescence, alienation, and identity through the eyes of its protagonist, Holden Caulfield. The novel is set in the 1950s and follows Holden, a 16-year-old who has just been expelled from his prep school, Pencey Prep. Disillusioned with the world around him, Holden decides to leave Pencey early and spend a few days alone in New York City before returning home. Over the course of these days, Holden interacts with various people, including old friends, a former teacher, and strangers, all the while grappling with his feelings of loneliness and dissatisfaction. Holden is deeply troubled by the "phoniness" of the adult world and is haunted by the death of his younger brother, Allie, which has left a lasting impact on him. He fantasizes about being "the catcher in the rye," a guardian who saves children from losing their innocence by catching them before they fall off a cliff into adulthooda. The novel ends with Holden in a mental institution, where he is being treated for a nervous breakdown. He expresses some hope for the future, indicating a possible path to recovery.. |
| funny opening lines for graduation speeches: 10 1⁄2 Things No Commencement Speaker Has Ever Said Charles Wheelan, 2012-05 Refreshingly honest advice and observations on happiness, success, and the world lurking beyond the campus gates. |
| funny opening lines for graduation speeches: Wonder R. J. Palacio, 2012-02-14 #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Millions of people have fallen in love with Auggie Pullman, an ordinary boy with an extraordinary face—who shows us that kindness brings us together no matter how far apart we are. Read the book that inspired the Choose Kind movement, a major motion picture, and the critically acclaimed graphic novel White Bird. And don't miss R.J. Palacio's highly anticipated new novel, Pony, available now! I won't describe what I look like. Whatever you're thinking, it's probably worse. August Pullman was born with a facial difference that, up until now, has prevented him from going to a mainstream school. Starting 5th grade at Beecher Prep, he wants nothing more than to be treated as an ordinary kid—but his new classmates can’t get past Auggie’s extraordinary face. Beginning from Auggie’s point of view and expanding to include his classmates, his sister, her boyfriend, and others, the perspectives converge to form a portrait of one community’s struggle with empathy, compassion, and acceptance. In a world where bullying among young people is an epidemic, this is a refreshing new narrative full of heart and hope. R.J. Palacio has called her debut novel “a meditation on kindness” —indeed, every reader will come away with a greater appreciation for the simple courage of friendship. Auggie is a hero to root for, a diamond in the rough who proves that you can’t blend in when you were born to stand out. |
| funny opening lines for graduation speeches: Speeches on Special Occasions , 1839 |
| funny opening lines for graduation speeches: The Lorax Dr. Seuss, 2013-09-24 Celebrate Earth Day with Dr. Seuss and the Lorax in this classic picture book about protecting the environment! I am the Lorax. I speak for the trees. Dr. Seuss’s beloved story teaches kids to speak up and stand up for those who can’t. With a recycling-friendly “Go Green” message, The Lorax allows young readers to experience the beauty of the Truffula Trees and the danger of taking our earth for granted, all in a story that is timely, playful and hopeful. The book’s final pages teach us that just one small seed, or one small child, can make a difference. This book is the perfect gift for Earth Day and for any child—or child at heart—who is interested in recycling, advocacy and the environment, or just loves nature and playing outside. Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It’s not. |
| funny opening lines for graduation speeches: Make Good Art Neil Gaiman, 2013-05-14 THIS BOOK IS FOR EVERYONE LOOKING AROUND AND THINKING, NOW WHAT?” Neil Gaiman’s acclaimed commencement address, Make Good Art, thoughtfully and aesthetically designed by renowned graphic artist Chip Kidd. This keepsake volume is the perfect gift for graduates, aspiring creators, or anyone who needs a reminder to run toward what gives them joy. When Neil Gaiman delivered his Make Good Art commencement address at Philadelphia’s University of the Arts, he shared his thoughts about creativity, bravery, and strength. He encouraged the fledgling painters, musicians, writers, and dreamers to break rules and think outside the box. Most of all, he encouraged them to make good art. The speech resonated far beyond that art school audience and immediately went viral on YouTube and has now been viewed more than a million times. Acclaimed designer Chip Kidd brings his unique sensibility to this seminal address in this gorgeous edition that commemorates Gaiman's inspiring message. |
| funny opening lines for graduation speeches: I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings Maya Angelou, 2010-07-21 Here is a book as joyous and painful, as mysterious and memorable, as childhood itself. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings captures the longing of lonely children, the brute insult of bigotry, and the wonder of words that can make the world right. Maya Angelou’s debut memoir is a modern American classic beloved worldwide. Sent by their mother to live with their devout, self-sufficient grandmother in a small Southern town, Maya and her brother, Bailey, endure the ache of abandonment and the prejudice of the local “powhitetrash.” At eight years old and back at her mother’s side in St. Louis, Maya is attacked by a man many times her age—and has to live with the consequences for a lifetime. Years later, in San Francisco, Maya learns that love for herself, the kindness of others, her own strong spirit, and the ideas of great authors (“I met and fell in love with William Shakespeare”) will allow her to be free instead of imprisoned. Poetic and powerful, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings will touch hearts and change minds for as long as people read. “I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings liberates the reader into life simply because Maya Angelou confronts her own life with such a moving wonder, such a luminous dignity.”—James Baldwin From the Paperback edition. |
| funny opening lines for graduation speeches: The Giver Lois Lowry, 2014 The Giver, the 1994 Newbery Medal winner, has become one of the most influential novels of our time. The haunting story centers on twelve-year-old Jonas, who lives in a seemingly ideal, if colorless, world of conformity and contentment. Not until he is given his life assignment as the Receiver of Memory does he begin to understand the dark, complex secrets behind his fragile community. This movie tie-in edition features cover art from the movie and exclusive Q&A with members of the cast, including Taylor Swift, Brenton Thwaites and Cameron Monaghan. |
| funny opening lines for graduation speeches: Present! a Techie's Guide to Public Speaking Poornima Vijayashanker, Karen Catlin, 2015-11-02 The ultimate interactive public speaking guide from tech speakers Poornima Vijayashanker and Karen Catlin that prepares and encourages techies to discover their expertise, confidently share it, and successfully level up in their careers. Techies around the world can now jump start and grow their speaking careers with the book, Present! A Techie's Guide to Public Speaking, written by tech leaders, Poornima Vijayashanker and Karen Catlin. The book serves as a resource for technology professionals who want or need to develop the skills to communicate their expertise effectively, whether in a meeting at work or delivering an engaging talk at a conference. Poornima, who is the founder of Femgineer and the founding engineer of Mint.com, collaborated with former Adobe vice president and founder of Karen Catlin Consulting, Karen Catlin, to compile and share their lessons, tips, and techniques learned from their own experiences as professional tech speakers. Karen and I wanted to write this book so that our fellow techies would have a comprehensive resource to help them with their own public speaking endeavors. So many folks in the tech industry have amazing ideas and experience, but they often feel stuck on how to present them effectively. Also, our hope is that more women will be inspired by our stories and encouraged to get out there and share their own valuable expertise through public speaking in order to boost representation of women tech speakers, Poornima said. Present! covers public speaking from A to Z. Through stories, examples, and interactive exercises, Poornima and Karen dive into topics including, overcoming stage fright, exploring personal speaking style, creating the right talk for the right audience, polishing presence and delivery, and nailing any type of talk, whether it's a lightning or long-form talk or being part of a panel. Karen said, Even though Poornima and I are professional speakers, we felt it was important to share our own feelings of nerves and uncertainty, and bumps we've had along the way - and sometimes continue to experience. It was important for us to communicate that no one is perfect and it really is okay when talks don't always go according to plan. Our hope is that by being open, we'll be able to give others the confidence and the techniques to handle situations when they arise, deliver an amazing presentation, and most importantly, have FUN! |
| funny opening lines for graduation speeches: Coraline Neil Gaiman, 2012-01-01 Tenth anniversary edition of Neil Gaiman's modern classic, brilliantly illustrated by Chris Riddell, with a new foreword by the author, in a gift presentation slipcase |
| funny opening lines for graduation speeches: Dumbing Us Down John Taylor Gatto, 2002-02-01 With over 70,000 copies of the first edition in print, this radical treatise on public education has been a New Society Publishers’ bestseller for 10 years! Thirty years in New York City’s public schools led John Gatto to the sad conclusion that compulsory schooling does little but teach young people to follow orders like cogs in an industrial machine. This second edition describes the wide-spread impact of the book and Gatto’s guerrilla teaching. John Gatto has been a teacher for 30 years and is a recipient of the New York State Teacher of the Year award. His other titles include A Different Kind of Teacher (Berkeley Hills Books, 2001) and The Underground History of American Education (Oxford Village Press, 2000). |
| funny opening lines for graduation speeches: I JUST CAN'T STOP HERE Aderemi Badru, 2019-05-03 You are on a journey, a journey that did not start accidentally but was initiated and planned by God for you to fulfill a mission in the world! That mission God sent you here to accomplish is your destiny. But, not everyone will fulfill the mission, complete the assignment and fulfill their destiny. Several people who started this journey stopped halfway, many gave up on their mission and others were discouraged by the challenges that they faced on their journey. Therefore, this book will remind you of your journey, motivate you to be sure that you are on the right journey, encourage you to keep moving no matter what challenges you face or how bad and dangerous the road you travel on may be. The author combined his personal experiences on his journey with various testimonies of people in the Bible to inspire you, that at the end, you too will be able to say that come what may, I just can't stop here. |
| funny opening lines for graduation speeches: Humor That Works Andrew Tarvin, 2019-04 Humor That Works is a business book on humor. No, that's not an oxymoron. It really is a business book and it really is about getting better results by having more fun. Because people who use humor in the workplace are more productive, less stressed, and happier. No joke; sources included. |
| funny opening lines for graduation speeches: Sorry About That Edwin L. Battistella, 2014-05-01 People do bad things. They misspeak, mislead, and misbehave. They lie, cheat, steal, and kill. Often, afterward, they apologize. But what makes a successful apology? Why does Joe Biden's 2007 apology for referring to Barack Obama as articulate and bright succeed, whereas Mel Gibson's 2006 apology for his anti-Semitic tirade fails? Naturally, the effectiveness of an apology depends on the language used, as well as the conditions under which we offer our regrets. In Sorry About That, linguist Edwin Battistella analyzes the public apologies of presidents, politicians, entertainers, and businessmen, situating the apology within American popular culture. Battistella offers the fascinating stories behind these apologies alongside his own analysis of the language used in each. He uses these examples to demonstrate the ways in which language creates sincere or insincere apologies, why we choose to apologize or don't, and how our efforts to say we are sorry succeed or fail. Each chapter expands on a central concept or distinction that explains part of the apology process. Battistella covers over fifty memorable apologies from McDonald's, Martha Stewart, Oprah Winfrey, Jane Fonda, Bill Clinton, and many more. Moving back and forth between examples and concepts, Battistella connects actual apologies with the broader social, ethical, and linguistic principles behind them. Readers will come away from the book better consumers of apologies - and better apologizers as well. |
| funny opening lines for graduation speeches: Invisible Man Ralph Ellison, 2014 The invisible man is the unnamed narrator of this impassioned novel of black lives in 1940s America. Embittered by a country which treats him as a non-being he retreats to an underground cell. |
| funny opening lines for graduation speeches: Anne Frank Anne Frank, 1978 |
| funny opening lines for graduation speeches: A Practical Wedding Meg Keene, 2019-12-17 A companion to the popular website APracticalWedding.com and A Practical Wedding Planner, A Practical Wedding helps you sort through the basics to create the wedding you want -- without going broke or crazy in the process. After all, what really matters on your wedding day is not so much how it looked as how it felt. In this refreshing guide, expert Meg Keene shares her secrets to planning a beautiful celebration that reflects your taste and your relationship. You'll discover: The real purpose of engagement (hint: it's not just about the planning) How to pinpoint what matters most to you and your partner DIY-ing your wedding: brilliant or crazy? How to communicate decisions to your family Why that color-coded spreadsheet is actually worth it Wedding Zen can be yours. Meg walks you through everything from choosing a venue to writing vows, complete with stories and advice from women who have been in the trenches: the Team Practical brides. So here's to the joyful wedding, the sensible wedding, the unbelievably fun wedding! A Practical Wedding is your complete guide to getting married with grace. |
| funny opening lines for graduation speeches: Oh, the Places You'll Go! Dr. Seuss, 2013-09-24 Dr. Seuss’s wonderfully wise Oh, the Places You’ll Go! celebrates all of our special milestones—from graduations to birthdays and beyond! “[A] book that has proved to be popular for graduates of all ages since it was first published.”—The New York Times From soaring to high heights and seeing great sights to being left in a Lurch on a prickle-ly perch, Dr. Seuss addresses life’s ups and downs with his trademark humorous verse and whimsical illustrations. The inspiring and timeless message encourages readers to find the success that lies within, no matter what challenges they face. A perennial favorite for anyone starting a new phase in their life! |
| funny opening lines for graduation speeches: Rise Above Greg Little, 2011-09-01 Rise Above is a detailed description of one man's journey of conquering adversity.You will read how the writer survived a near-fatal motor vehicle accident, which resulted in three skull fractures, a bruised brain, an eight-day coma and having to relearn how to walk and talk - made all the more challenging by a lingering speech impediment acquired in childhood. Stuttering is an awful burden for a person to carry throughout life. Children can be cruel. The writer's utmost fear, speaking in public, would one day be an ally and allow him to present programs extensively throughout the United States. This book is not about surviving adversity. It's about thriving beyond adversity. Greg Little, a nationally renowned speaker and motivator, has presented to diverse groups, including health care, business and professional organizations, and educational institutions. His programs emphasize active involvement by participants. Whether teaching professionals to cope with stress, bond as a productive group or realize their hidden strengths, his seminars and keynote addresses are hard hitting and memorable. During one of Greg's presentations, I was laughing so hard that tears were literally streaming down my face. - Dr. Ed Kesgen; Sylva, NC One of the most energized, creative and innovate presentations I have ever experienced.- Jim Brennan, National Consultant; Wilbraham, MA Dr. Greg Little is superb speaker. This is an excellent investment in continuing education - Nancy DeBolt; Torrington, WY |
| funny opening lines for graduation speeches: The Glass Menagerie , 1970 |
| funny opening lines for graduation speeches: Inaugural Presidential Address Obama Barack, 2016-06-23 Unlike some other reproductions of classic texts (1) We have not used OCR(Optical Character Recognition), as this leads to bad quality books with introduced typos. (2) In books where there are images such as portraits, maps, sketches etc We have endeavoured to keep the quality of these images, so they represent accurately the original artefact. Although occasionally there may be certain imperfections with these old texts, we feel they deserve to be made available for future generations to enjoy. |
| funny opening lines for graduation speeches: Graduation Maya Angelou, 1989-09 As is usually the case with most graduation tales, this account focuses on growing up. With greater intensity than ever before, the narrator of the story is confronted with the fact that she is black. A surprising twist to the graduation ceremony helps her see what that fact means to her.--Page 2. |
| funny opening lines for graduation speeches: Proofreading, Revising & Editing Skills Success in 20 Minutes a Day Brady Smith, 2017 In this eBook, you'll learn the principles of grammar and how to manipulate your words until they're just right. Strengthen your revising and editing skills and become a clear and consistent writer. -- |
| funny opening lines for graduation speeches: Mistborn Brandon Sanderson, 2014-07-04 The Skaa, having slaved in misery for a thousand years under the corrupt, absolute power of the Lord Ruler, still manage to find hope, which rises once again when a criminal mastermind teams up with an unlikely heroine. |
| funny opening lines for graduation speeches: 501 Writing Prompts LearningExpress (Organization), 2018 This eBook features 501 sample writing prompts that are designed to help you improve your writing and gain the necessary writing skills needed to ace essay exams. Build your essay-writing confidence fast with 501 Writing Prompts! -- |
| funny opening lines for graduation speeches: About Alice Calvin Trillin, 2006-12-26 BONUS: This edition contains an excerpt from Calvin Trillin's Quite Enough of Calvin Trillin. In Calvin Trillin’s antic tales of family life, she was portrayed as the wife who had “a weird predilection for limiting our family to three meals a day” and the mother who thought that if you didn’t go to every performance of your child’s school play, “the county would come and take the child.” Now, five years after her death, her husband offers this loving portrait of Alice Trillin off the page–his loving portrait of Alice Trillin off the page–an educator who was equally at home teaching at a university or a drug treatment center, a gifted writer, a stunningly beautiful and thoroughly engaged woman who, in the words of a friend, “managed to navigate the tricky waters between living a life you could be proud of and still delighting in the many things there are to take pleasure in.” Though it deals with devastating loss, About Alice is also a love story, chronicling a romance that began at a Manhattan party when Calvin Trillin desperately tried to impress a young woman who “seemed to glow.” “You have never again been as funny as you were that night,” Alice would say, twenty or thirty years later. “You mean I peaked in December of 1963?” “I’m afraid so.” But he never quit trying to impress her. In his writing, she was sometimes his subject and always his muse. The dedication of the first book he published after her death read, “I wrote this for Alice. Actually, I wrote everything for Alice.” In that spirit, Calvin Trillin has, with About Alice, created a gift to the wife he adored and to his readers. |
r/funny - Reddit
r/funny: Reddit's largest humor depository. Memes of any sort are expressly forbidden. This includes any variety of memetic image or video format, any footage or photographs of memes …
Best Funny Posts - Reddit
Screenshots of Black people being hilarious or insightful on social media, it doesn't need to just be twitter but obviously that is best.
Funny India - Reddit
If a given piece of content has appeared on r/Funny before, do not post it. Sites like KarmaDecay and TinEye can help to determine the uniqueness of a given submission, but since neither site …
r/DadJokes - the best (and worst) Dad Jokes on reddit
Welcome! This is a friendly place for those cringe-worthy and (maybe) funny attempts at humour that we call dad jokes. Often (but not always) a verbal or visual pun, if it elicited a snort or face …
Minecraft Troll Commands : r/MinecraftCommands - Reddit
Jan 23, 2022 · The subreddit for all things related to Modded Minecraft for Minecraft Java Edition --- This subreddit was originally created for discussion around the FTB launcher and its …
Funniest/interesting character names : r/wow - Reddit
Really only funny because it's so stupid but my 12-13 year old main's name is cleverly named Dwarffguy. (I was 8-9 years old) I unfortunately had to add the 2nd F when I transferred realms …
r/dankmemes - Reddit
reposting a meme you saw on hot because you thought it was really funny; your post contains an advice animal format; you post an image with no caption and use the title as the text; posting …
Funny Pics - Reddit
A woman is driving a sports car around Hollywood and Los Angeles, California, with 'Thor the Great Dane' riding in the passenger seat. .
Funny Text-To-Speak Lines. : r/discordapp - Reddit
Jan 13, 2017 · This will be extremely long and annoying, but funny. Discord also describes emojis, so have fun with that. Namely, pile of feces, hands clapping, fork and knife, etc. Also, don't …
What is the Funniest Joke You've Ever Heard/Read?
A kindergarten teacher is trying to explain to her class the definition of the word "definitely". To make sure the students have a good understanding of the word, she asks them to use it in a …
r/funny - Reddit
r/funny: Reddit's largest humor depository. Memes of any sort are expressly forbidden. This includes any variety of memetic image or video format, any footage or photographs of memes …
Best Funny Posts - Reddit
Screenshots of Black people being hilarious or insightful on social media, it doesn't need to just be twitter but obviously that is best.
Funny India - Reddit
If a given piece of content has appeared on r/Funny before, do not post it. Sites like KarmaDecay and TinEye can help to determine the uniqueness of a given submission, but since neither site …
r/DadJokes - the best (and worst) Dad Jokes on reddit
Welcome! This is a friendly place for those cringe-worthy and (maybe) funny attempts at humour that we call dad jokes. Often (but not always) a verbal or visual pun, if it elicited a snort or face …
Minecraft Troll Commands : r/MinecraftCommands - Reddit
Jan 23, 2022 · The subreddit for all things related to Modded Minecraft for Minecraft Java Edition --- This subreddit was originally created for discussion around the FTB launcher and its …
Funniest/interesting character names : r/wow - Reddit
Really only funny because it's so stupid but my 12-13 year old main's name is cleverly named Dwarffguy. (I was 8-9 years old) I unfortunately had to add the 2nd F when I transferred realms …
r/dankmemes - Reddit
reposting a meme you saw on hot because you thought it was really funny; your post contains an advice animal format; you post an image with no caption and use the title as the text; posting …
Funny Pics - Reddit
A woman is driving a sports car around Hollywood and Los Angeles, California, with 'Thor the Great Dane' riding in the passenger seat. .
Funny Text-To-Speak Lines. : r/discordapp - Reddit
Jan 13, 2017 · This will be extremely long and annoying, but funny. Discord also describes emojis, so have fun with that. Namely, pile of feces, hands clapping, fork and knife, etc. Also, don't …
What is the Funniest Joke You've Ever Heard/Read?
A kindergarten teacher is trying to explain to her class the definition of the word "definitely". To make sure the students have a good understanding of the word, she asks them to use it in a …
