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| anxious person's guide to non monogamy: The Anxious Person’s Guide to Non-Monogamy Lola Phoenix, 2022-06-21 'Invaluable' RACHEL KRAMER BUSSEL 'Refreshingly honest, comprehensive and realistic' MEG-JOHN BARKER Embarking on a non-monogamous relationship can be a daunting experience, opening old wounds that cause anxiety, fear and confusion, something Lola Phoenix knows about all too well. In this all-you-need-to-know guide to exploring non-monogamy, polyamory and open relationships, Lola draws upon their years of experience in giving advice and being non-monogamous to provide guidance for every stage of your journey, helping you to prioritise your mental health and well being along the way. Beginning with advice on starting out - such as finding your anchor, figuring out your personal reasons for pursuing non-monogamy, challenging your fears and practicing self-compassion - the book proceeds to cover the emotional aspects of non-monogamous relationships, including dealing with jealousy and judgement, managing anxiety and maintaining independence, as well as practical elements such as scheduling your time, negotiating boundaries and managing your expectations, all accompanied with activities for further exploration. Whether you are new to non-monogamy, or have been non-monogamous for years, this insightful and empowering book will provide you with the emotional tools you will need to live a happy non-monogamous life. |
| anxious person's guide to non monogamy: The Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory Dedeker Winston, 2017-02-07 No one likes a know-it-all, but everyone loves a girl with brains and heart. The Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory is an intelligent and comprehensive guide to polyamory, open relationships, and other forms of alternative love, offering relationship advice radically different from anything you'll find on the magazine rack. This practical guidebook will help women break free of the mold of traditional monogamy, without the constraints of jealousy, possessiveness, insecurity, and competition. The Smart Girl's Guide to Polyamory incorporates interviews and real-world advice from women of all ages in nontraditional relationships, as well as exercises for building self-awareness, confidence in communication, and strategies for managing and eliminating jealousy. If you're curious about exploring group sex, opening up your current monogamous relationship, or ready to “come out” as polyamorous, this book covers it all! Whether you're a seasoned graduate, a timid freshman, or somewhere in between, you'll learn how to discover and craft unique relationships that are healthy, happy, sexy, and tailor-made for you. Because when it comes to your love life, being a know-it-all is actually a great thing to be. |
| anxious person's guide to non monogamy: Building Open Relationships Liz Powell, 2018-07-03 Have you read that book on non-monogamy and still wondered But how do you actually DO this? Are you totally great on the theory of open relationships, but feel like you don't know how it works in practice? Join Dr. Liz Powell, psychologist, speaker, and coach, as she draws from her education, research, and life experience to bring you Building Open Relationships. This new book is an all-inclusive guide to beginning and maintaining your non-monogamous life, no matter where you fall under the non-monogamous umbrella. Complete with worksheets, discussion starters, examples, and hard-won lessons (i.e. my mistakes), this book will give you all the tools you need to be more successful in non-monogamy. |
| anxious person's guide to non monogamy: What You Really Really Want Jaclyn Friedman, 2011-10-25 Co-editor of Yes Means Yes gives young women the tools to decipher the modern world's confusing, hypersexualized, sometimes dangerous landscape so they can define their own sexual identity. In this empowering, accessible guide, Jaclyn Friedman-co-editor of Yes Means Yes-gives young women the tools to decipher the modern world's confusing, hypersexualized, sometimes dangerous landscape so they can define their own sexual identity. Friedman decries the hypocrisy and mixed messages of our culture (we're failures if we don't act sexy, but we're sluts if we actually pursue sex; we need to be protected from rapists lurking in bushes, but deserve whatever we get if we have a drink at a party and wear a skirt), and encourages readers to separate fear from fact, decode the damaging messages all around them, and discover a healthy personal sexuality. |
| anxious person's guide to non monogamy: The Non-Monogamy Journal Lola Phoenix, 2025-01-21 A journal to help you on your non-monogamy journey, with questions and example scenarios to explore. Topics include: dealing with hierarchies, managing New Relationship Energy, meeting family, STIs, labels, milestones and cohabitation -- as well as OPPs, compersion and cowpoking. Perfect for newbies and poly pros alike. |
| anxious person's guide to non monogamy: The Jealousy Workbook Kathy Labriola, 2013-09-13 From the initial stages of trying to agree who can do what with whom, through advanced issues such as coping with logistics and seeking compersion, every relationship sooner or later confronts jealousy – and some relationships do not survive the confrontation. Between these covers you will find forty-two exercises with supporting text, developed by a professional relationship counselor and refined by hundreds of clients trying to find their own paths through jealousy. They range from basic (Exercise Two, Clarify Your Relationship Orientation) through challenging (Exercise Thirty-Four, Imagine Looking Through Their Eyes and Being In Their Shoes). All can be done solo, with a partner, or under the supervision of a helping professional, and all can be done before a problem emerges or in the throes of a jealousy crisis. Along the way, you will find solutions to the issues that bedevil even the most happily open relationships. |
| anxious person's guide to non monogamy: The Many Faces of Polyamory Magdalena J. Fosse, 2021-05-23 The Many Faces of Polyamory: Longing and Belonging in Concurrent Relationships provides new perspectives on polyamory and the longing to belong in the relatively uncharted territory of nonnormative relationships. This volume offers a valuable and compelling account on how to approach polyamorous relationships from the clinical perspective. While there is no uniform answer, Dr. Fosse’s compassionate and discerning approach that combines relative neutrality, an open-minded embrace of nontraditional lifestyle choices, and skilful attention to countertransference dynamics is likely to be inspiring. Dr. Fosse exposes the dynamics of love, sex, jealousy, and compersion as they play out in lives of those interested in polyamory, and more broadly, consensual nonmonogamy. Her focus is on relationships worth having. With its nuanced clinical focus, The Many Faces of Polyamory will be an essential resource for psychotherapists, educators, students, and anyone inside and outside of the mental health field drawn to the intricacies of sexuality, intimacy, and how they are intertwined with relational satisfaction |
| anxious person's guide to non monogamy: A World Beyond Monogamy Jonathan Kent, 2021-08 Skills to make every relationship better. We're living through a relationship revolution. Millions around the world are moving beyond coupledom to explore multiple consensual romantic and/or sexual connections. One in five Americans are thought to have experimented with 'monogamish, ' open relationships, swinging, polyamory, or relationship anarchy and more with the knowledge and consent of all those involved. But to make these relationships work consensually, non monogamous people have to supercharge relating skills like communication and negotiation, skills that can benefit us all, whether we love many or just one. In this ground-breaking book former BBC and Reuters journalist Jonathan Kent takes a comprehensive took at the frontiers of love and sex; the triumphs, the pitfalls, the tools one needs, the lessons we can all learn. A World Beyond Monogamy draws on the first hand experience of scores of people from six continents who are writing their own relationship rules, as well as on the expertise of biologists, sociologists, psychologists, and philosophers. |
| anxious person's guide to non monogamy: Open Rachel Krantz, 2024-06-04 An award-winning journalist chronicles her first open relationship with “breathtaking honesty” (Los Angeles Times) in this “sexy, messy, necessary look at polyamory” (The Advocate). FINALIST FOR THE LAMBDA LITERARY AWARD • ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR: PopSugar, Them When Rachel Krantz met and fell for Adam, he told her that he was looking for a committed partnership—just one that did not include monogamy. Intrigued and more than a little nervous, Krantz decided to see whether their love could coexist with the freedom to date other people. Could they strike an exquisite balance between intimacy and independence, and find a way to feel passion for each other once the honeymoon phase ended? Krantz documents her dive into polyamory, from Brooklyn sex parties to swinging and beyond, in her extraordinary debut memoir. As she attempts to write a new plot for her love story with Adam, she runs up against miscommunications, gaslighting, and ancient power dynamics, and seeks solid ground in a relationship where the rules are ever-shifting. An award-winning journalist, she interviewed scientists, psychologists, and people living and loving outside the mainstream as she searched to understand what polyamory would do to her heart, her mind, and her life. With an unflinching eye and page-turning storytelling, Open is groundbreaking in both its documentarian approach to polyamory and its explicit subject matter. From debilitating anxiety spirals to heart-opening connections with the men and women she dates, Rachel puts her whole self on the line as she attempts to redefine what a relationship is—or could be. |
| anxious person's guide to non monogamy: Polyamory Journal: a Relationship Book Kate Kincaid, 2022-02-15 Understand yourself and thrive in non-monogamy Being attuned to yourself allows you to more authentically share yourself with others. Whether you've just started considering polyamory or you've been non-monogamous for decades, this guided relationship journal can help you explore yourself and your needs as you navigate polyamory. What sets this book apart from other polyamorous relationship books: A primer on polyamory--Learn more about what polyamory is, the difference between ethical and unethical non-monogamy, the various types of polyamorous arrangements, and more. Relevant topics--This journal highlights themes that can help you succeed in healthy polyamorous relationships, like fortifying your self-security, establishing and honoring boundaries, and working through jealousy. A mix of exercises--Better understand your values and desires through journal prompts, quotes, Q&As, and interactive activities like creating a vision board or writing a letter to yourself. Discover more about yourself and polyamory through the nonjudgmental approach in this guided journal. |
| anxious person's guide to non monogamy: A Happy Life in an Open Relationship Susan Wenzel, 2020-03-10 Discover the secrets to successful open relationships. A Happy Life in an Open Relationship is a handbook to healthy nonmonogamous relationships. For anyone curious about open relationships, here is a valuable handbook from an expert in love, sex, and communication. Relationship therapist Susan Wenzel—who is in an open marriage herself—delivers skillful advice on how to navigate the complex emotional landscape of multi-partner relationships, from polyamory to swinging. • Filled with of compelling personal stories, anecdotes from clients, and practical exercises • A guide to cultivating harmonious and fulfilling open relationships • Author Susan Wenzel is a sex and relationship therapist with years of experience counseling patients on issues related to monogamy, intimacy, and trust. A Happy Life in an Open Relationship will help you develop your trust and communication skills, explore sexuality and desire, build your confidence and self-worth, set healthy boundaries, overcome jealousy, and so much more. People interested in making changes in their relationships will appreciate the positive tone, helpful advice, and expert wisdom from an accomplished relationship therapist who has gone through the experience herself. • A great book for anyone interested in testing the boundaries of monogamy and exploring the world of polyamory • An accessible and inviting guide for couples to build an open relationship that is strong and lasting • Perfect for fans of Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence and The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity by Esther Perel, The Commitment: Love, Sex, Marriage, and My Family by Dan Savage, and Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships by Christopher Ryan |
| anxious person's guide to non monogamy: Open Deeply Kate Loree, 2022-04-19 A full one-fifth of the United States has engaged in consensual non-monogamy (CNM) at some point in their lives, and 29 percent of adults under thirty today consider open relationships to be morally acceptable—yet there are few resources to turn to when it comes to navigating this more non-traditional and explorative territory. Picking up where CNM self-help books like Polysecure, The Ethical Slut, and More Than Two leave off, Open Deeply tackles the most difficult challenges posed by CNM. Therapist Kate Loree—who has practiced non-monogamy since 2003, and who specializes in treating clients who also practice non-monogamy—pulls no punches as she uses vignettes based on her own life, as well as her clients’ experiences, to illustrate the highs, lows, and in-betweens of life as a consensual non-monogamist. Interwoven with these stories are thorough explanations of how attachment theory impacts non-monogamy, how blending cutting-edge, neurobiology-informed grounding skills with effective communication skills will make even the most challenging conversations regarding non-monogamy manageable, and more. The result is a compassionate, attachment-focused template for non-monogamy that will allow readers to avoid pitfalls and find adventure while concurrently building healthy relationships. Non-monogamy is a wild and woolly ride—and Open Deeply is here to help make it a great one. |
| anxious person's guide to non monogamy: The Anxious Hearts Guide Rikki Cloos, 2021-11-16 |
| anxious person's guide to non monogamy: Opening Up Tristan Taormino, 2008-05-01 A practical guide to making sexually open arrangements work outlines options for transforming monogamous relationships into effective polyamorous ones, in a reference that addresses such topics as boundary setting, child-raising, and conflict resolution. Original. |
| anxious person's guide to non monogamy: A Therapist’s Guide to Consensual Nonmonogamy Rhea Orion, 2018-03-05 Consensual nonmonogamy (CNM) means that all partners in a relationship consent to expanded monogamy or polyamory. Clinicians are on the front line in providing support for the estimated millions pioneering these modern relationships. This first available guide for therapists provides answers to prevalent questions: What is the difference between expanded monogamy and polyamory? Is CNM healthy and safe? Why would someone choose the complexities of multiple partners? What about the welfare of children? Through illustrative case studies from research and clinical practice, therapists will learn to assist clients with CNM agreements, jealousy, sex, time, family issues, and much more. A Therapist's Guide to Consensual Nonmonogamy serves as a step forward toward expanding standard clinical training and helps inform therapists who wish to serve the CNM population. |
| anxious person's guide to non monogamy: Mono in a Poly World Tazmyn Ozga, 2021-04-05 What do you do when your partner is polyamorous and you aren't? This is the question author Tazmyn Ozga began to ask herself in 2015 when, after 25 years of a monogamous marriage, her husband declared his need to be polyamorous and free to have multiple relationships. Their decision to stay together and try to make it work began her journey of learning about polyamory through reading and research, and life experiences and lessons. Mono in a Poly World is a guidebook and resource for those navigating the path of monogamous-polyamorous relationships. This book covers the basics of polyamory as well as the issues that make mono-poly relationships unique and challenging. Additionally, best practices and worst practices in consensual non-monogamy are explored, providing a roadmap for healthy relationships with compromises that can meet the needs of both partners.Whether your long-term monogamous relationship is transforming into a mono-poly one, or you are entering into a new relationship, this book can serve as a useful guide. While Mono in a Poly World is written from a monogamous perspective, a polyamorous partner can also read and learn how to better navigate this special dynamic. The goal is mutual: loving partners happy together, despite their differences. |
| anxious person's guide to non monogamy: Polysecure Jessica Fern, 2022-09 A practical translation of the principles of attachment theory to non-monogamous relationships. Attachment theory has entered the mainstream, but most discussions focus on how we can cultivate secure monogamous relationships. What if, like many people, you're striving for secure, happy attachments with more than one partner? Polyamorous psychotherapist Jessica Fern breaks new ground by extending attachment theory into the realm of consensual non-monogamy. Using her nested model of attachment and trauma, she expands our understanding of how emotional experiences can influence our relationships. Then, she sets out six specific strategies to help you move toward secure attachments in your multiple relationships. Polysecureis both a trailblazing theoretical treatise and a practical guide. It provides non-monogamous people with a new set of tools to navigate the complexities of multiple loving relationships, and offers radical new concepts that are sure to influence the conversation about attachment theory. |
| anxious person's guide to non monogamy: Playing Fair Pepper Mint, 2017 A guide to help nonmonogamous men get smarter about getting it on. |
| anxious person's guide to non monogamy: The Ethical Slut, Third Edition Janet W. Hardy, Dossie Easton, 2017-08-15 The classic guide to love, sex, and intimacy beyond the limits of conventional monogamy has been fully updated to reflect today’s modern attitudes and the latest information on nontraditional relationships. “One of the most useful relationship books you could ever read, no matter what your lifestyle choices. It’s chock-full of great information about communication, jealousy, asking for what you want, and maintaining a relationship with integrity.”—Annie Sprinkle, PhD, sexologist and author of Dr. Sprinkle’s Spectacular Sex For 20 years The Ethical Slut—widely known as the “Poly Bible”—has dispelled myths and showed curious readers how to maintain a successful polyamorous lifestyle through open communication, emotional honesty, and safer sex practices. The third edition of this timeless guide to the ethics of relationships, communication, and sex has been revised to include: • Interviews with poly millennials (young people who have grown up without the prejudices their elders encountered regarding gender, orientation, sexuality, and relationships) • Tributes to polyamory pioneers • Tools for conflict resolution and instructions on how to improve interpersonal dynamics • New sidebars on topics such as asexuality, sex workers, LGBTQ terminology, and ways polys can connect and thrive The authors also include new content addressing nontraditional relationships beyond the polyamorous paradigm of “more than two”: couples who don't live together, couples who don't have sex with each other, nonparallel arrangements, couples with widely divergent sex styles, power disparities, and cross-orientation relationships, while utilizing nonbinary gender language and new terms that have come into common usage since the last edition. |
| anxious person's guide to non monogamy: The Polyamory Breakup Book Kathy Labriola, 2019 Labriola uses real life examples and expert insight as a counselor and nurse. From how to handle jealousy to the practicalities of managing money and time with multiple partners, this book includes tips and insights from the polyamory community. |
| anxious person's guide to non monogamy: More Than Words John Howard, 2022-02-01 Increase intimacy, connection, and love with this illuminating, science-based guide to creating meaningful and lasting relationships. When it comes to building a better relationship with your partner, touch and connection matter so much more than the words that you say. And author and therapist John Howard is here to tell us why. More Than Words shows you how to deepen love and connection in any relationship based on the latest cutting-edge research in interpersonal neurobiology, trauma-informed healing, attachment theory, and many more scientific fields. This book explains why verbal communication may not elicit the connection you seek and offers ways to practice and form new habits that can nurture love, care, safety, comfort, and passion in relationships. Science shows that these techniques work, but most people don’t know them yet. You can start using these techniques today to increase intimacy and emotional connection in your closest relationships. Mindful of all the needs of the modern individual, More Than Words is inclusive of LGBTQ+, polyamorous, and other nontraditional committed relationships and ultimately looks to elevate the way we strengthen the most important bonds in our lives. |
| anxious person's guide to non monogamy: Sex at Dawn Christopher Ryan, Cacilda Jetha, 2010-06-29 Since Darwin's day, we've been told that sexual monogamy comes naturally to our species. Mainstream science—as well as religious and cultural institutions—has maintained that men and women evolved in families in which a man's possessions and protection were exchanged for a woman's fertility and fidelity. But this narrative is collapsing. Fewer and fewer couples are getting married, and divorce rates keep climbing as adultery and flagging libido drag down even seemingly solid marriages. How can reality be reconciled with the accepted narrative? It can't be, according to renegade thinkers Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jethå. While debunking almost everything we know about sex, they offer a bold alternative explanation in this provocative and brilliant book. Ryan and Jethå's central contention is that human beings evolved in egalitarian groups that shared food, child care, and, often, sexual partners. Weaving together convergent, frequently overlooked evidence from anthropology, archaeology, primatology, anatomy, and psychosexuality, the authors show how far from human nature monogamy really is. Human beings everywhere and in every era have confronted the same familiar, intimate situations in surprisingly different ways. The authors expose the ancient roots of human sexuality while pointing toward a more optimistic future illuminated by our innate capacities for love, cooperation, and generosity. With intelligence, humor, and wonder, Ryan and Jethå show how our promiscuous past haunts our struggles over monogamy, sexual orientation, and family dynamics. They explore why long-term fidelity can be so difficult for so many; why sexual passion tends to fade even as love deepens; why many middle-aged men risk everything for transient affairs with younger women; why homosexuality persists in the face of standard evolutionary logic; and what the human body reveals about the prehistoric origins of modern sexuality. In the tradition of the best historical and scientific writing, Sex at Dawn unapologetically upends unwarranted assumptions and unfounded conclusions while offering a revolutionary understanding of why we live and love as we do. |
| anxious person's guide to non monogamy: Supporting Someone Polyamorous Lola Phoenix, 2025-06-19 |
| anxious person's guide to non monogamy: Yelling in Pasties Kat Stark, 2017-10-12 Can you really be a shy, exhibitionistic, socially anxious slut all at the same time? Twenty years into her marriage, Kat and her husband faced head-on the great underlying fear of most monogamous people: My partner wants to have sex with other people. For them, that truth led to a rollercoaster of new sexual and romantic adventures. After starting things off with a fun and friendly threesome, this couple explore ethical non-monogamy through swinging, casual sex, group sex, solo dating, and eventually stumble into polyamory. Kat Stark tells the story of her first three years in non-monogamy, and how her life and relationship(s) evolved; from the dirty, dirty sex to the heartbreak and back again, without glossing over the parts where she effed it right up. Along the way she discovers squirting orgasms, plays with all the awesome sex toys she can get her hands (and other body parts) on, and comes to a far deeper understanding about how her brain-and heart-work. Come on this very sexy journey; where asking is the key to getting what you want, and where rejecting the shame and associated with being a sexually audacious woman is the gateway to becoming the truest version of oneself. |
| anxious person's guide to non monogamy: Deeper Dating Ken Page, 2014-12-30 With exercises, practical tools, and inspiring stories, Deeper Dating will guide you on a journey to find the love—and personal fulfillment—you long for Lose weight. Be confident. Keep your partner guessing. At the end of the day, this soulless approach to dating doesn't lead to love but to insecurity and desperation. In Deeper Dating, Ken Page presents a new path to love. Out of his decades of work as a psychotherapist and his own personal struggle to find love, Page teaches that the greatest magnet for real love lies in our Core Gifts—the places of our deepest sensitivity, longing, and passion. Deeper Dating guides us to discover our own Core Gifts and empowers us to express them with courage, generosity, and discrimination in our dating life. When we do this, something miraculous happens: we begin to attract people who love us for who we are, we become more self-assured and emotionally available, and we lose our taste for relationships that chip away at our self-esteem. Without losing a pound, changing our hairstyle, or buying a single new accessory, we find healthy love moving closer . . . Deeper Dating integrates the best of human intimacy theory with timeless spiritual truths and translates them into a practical, step-by-step process. |
| anxious person's guide to non monogamy: The Ethical Slut Dossie Easton, Janet W. Hardy, 2009 A practical guide to practicing polyamory and open relationships in ways that are ethically and emotionally sustainable--Provided by publisher. |
| anxious person's guide to non monogamy: First Time for Everything Henry Fry, 2022-05-10 A “big-hearted” (The Daily Beast), “LOL-worthy” (Cosmopolitan) debut about a down-on-his-luck gay man working out how he fits into the world, making up for lost time, and opening himself up to life’s possibilities “Part of a new wave of authors releasing uplifting queer literature that casts its characters as the heroes of their lives . . . crammed with blossoming romances and glittery escapism.”—The Guardian Danny Scudd is absolutely fine. He always dreamed of escaping the small-town life of his parents’ fish-and-chip shop, moving to London, and becoming a journalist. And, after five years in the city, his career isn’t exactly awful, and his relationship with pretentious Tobbs isn’t exactly unfulfilling. Certainly his limited-edition Dolly Parton vinyls and many (maybe too many) house plants are hitting the spot. But his world is flipped upside down when a visit to the local clinic reveals that Tobbs might not have been exactly faithful. In fact, Tobbs claims they were never operating under the “heteronormative paradigm” of monogamy to begin with. Oh, and Danny’s flatmates are unceremoniously evicting him because they want to start a family. It’s all going quite well. Newly single and with nowhere to live, Danny is forced to move in with his best friend, Jacob, a flamboyant nonbinary artist whom he’s known since childhood, and their eccentric group of friends living in an East London “commune.” What follows is a colorful voyage of discovery through modern queer life, dating, work, and lots of therapy—all places Danny has always been too afraid to fully explore. Upon realizing just how little he knows about himself and his sexuality, he careens from one questionable decision (and man) to another, relying on his inscrutable new therapist and housemates to help him face the demons he’s spent his entire life trying to repress. Is he really fine, after all? |
| anxious person's guide to non monogamy: The Ethical Slut Dossie Easton, Catherine A. Liszt, 1997 A Guide to Infinite Sexual Possibilities Beyond the often unrealistic ideal of lifetime monogamy lies an uncharted jungle of delightful options - everything from committed multi-partner relationships to friendly sex, casual sex, group sex, and more. In this groundbreaking volume, Bottoming Book' and 'Topping Book' authors provide a road map for exploring this sometimes difficult, often rewarding territory. Warm, informative detials about how to get your needs met, manage your jealousy, make agreements that...' |
| anxious person's guide to non monogamy: Monogamy? In this Economy? Laura Boyle, 2024-08-21 More and more queer and not-so-queer partners are taking the plunge and deciding to live and parent together. But wait - who lives with who? How do you navigate parenting children? How do you set up your home/finances/bathrooms? Laura Boyle, having interviewed over four hundred people living in every polyamorous configuration under the sun, has the answers for you. Forget 101s on jealousy and New Relationship Energy - this wise and pragmatic guide gets into the nitty gritty of living in polyamorous households long-term. |
| anxious person's guide to non monogamy: The Queer and Transgender Resilience Workbook Anneliese A. Singh, 2018-02-02 How can you build unshakable confidence and resilience in a world still filled with ignorance, inequality, and discrimination? The Queer and Transgender Resilience Workbook will teach you how to challenge internalized negative messages, handle stress, build a community of support, and embrace your true self. Resilience is a key ingredient for psychological health and wellness. It’s what gives people the psychological strength to cope with everyday stress, as well as major setbacks. For many people, stressful events may include job loss, financial problems, illness, natural disasters, medical emergencies, divorce, or the death of a loved one. But if you are queer or gender non-conforming, life stresses may also include discrimination in housing and health care, employment barriers, homelessness, family rejection, physical attacks or threats, and general unfair treatment and oppression—all of which lead to overwhelming feelings of hopelessness and powerlessness. So, how can you gain resilience in a society that is so often toxic and unwelcoming? In this important workbook, you’ll discover how to cultivate the key components of resilience: holding a positive view of yourself and your abilities; knowing your worth and cultivating a strong sense of self-esteem; effectively utilizing resources; being assertive and creating a support community; fostering hope and growth within yourself, and finding the strength to help others. Once you know how to tap into your personal resilience, you’ll have an unlimited well you can draw from to navigate everyday challenges. By learning to challenge internalized negative messages and remove obstacles from your life, you can build the resilience you need to embrace your truest self in an imperfect world. |
| anxious person's guide to non monogamy: Mating in Captivity Esther Perel, 2007-10-30 One of the world’s most respected voices on erotic intelligence, Esther Perel offers a bold, provocative new take on intimacy and sex. Mating in Captivity invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home. Drawing on more than twenty years of experience as a couples therapist, Perel examines the complexities of sustaining desire. Through case studies and lively discussion, Perel demonstrates how more exciting, playful, and even poetic sex is possible in long-term relationships. Wise, witty, and as revelatory as it is straightforward, Mating in Captivity is a sensational book that will transform the way you live and love. |
| anxious person's guide to non monogamy: Wired for Love Stan Tatkin, 2024-06-01 Invaluable for so many partners looking to reconnect and grow closer together. —Gwyneth Paltrow, founder and CEO of goop Stan Tatkin can be entirely followed into the towering infernos of our most painful relationship challenges. —Alanis Morissette, artist, activist, and wholeness advocate The complete “insider’s guide” to understanding your partner’s brain, sparking lasting connection, and enjoying a romantic relationship built on love and trust—now with more than 170,000 copies sold. “What the heck is my partner thinking?” “Why do they always react like this?” “How can we get back that connection we had in the beginning?” If you’ve ever asked yourself these questions, you aren’t alone, and it doesn’t mean that your relationship is doomed. Every person is wired for love differently—with different habits, needs, and reactions to conflict. The good news is that most people’s minds work in predictable ways and respond well to security, attachment, and routines, making it possible to neurologically prime the brain for greater love and connection and fewer conflicts. This go-to guide will show you how. Drawn from neuroscience, attachment theory, and emotion regulation, this highly anticipated second edition of Wired for Love presents cutting-edge research on how and why love lasts, and offers ten guiding principles that can improve any relationship. This fully revised and updated edition also includes new guidance on how to manage disagreements, as well as new exercises to help you create a sense of safety and security, establish healthy conflict ground rules, and deal with the threat of the third—any outside source which threatens the harmony in your relationship, including in-laws, alcohol, children, and affairs. You’ll find proven-effective strategies to help you strengthen your relationship by: Creating and maintaining a safe “couple bubble” Using morning and evening routines to stay connected Learning how to see your partner’s point of view Meeting each other halfway in a fight Becoming the expert on what makes your partner feel loved By using simple gestures and words, you’ll learn to put out emotional fires and help your partner feel appreciated and loved. You’ll also discover how to move past a “warring brain” mentality and toward a more cooperative “loving brain.” Most importantly, you’ll gain a better understanding of the complex dynamics at work behind love and trust in intimate relationships. While there’s no doubt that love is an inexact science, if you understand how you and your partner are wired differently, you can overcome your differences, and create a lasting intimate connection. |
| anxious person's guide to non monogamy: The Perfect Christmas Debbie Macomber, 2021-09-28 For Cassie Beaumont, it’s meeting her perfect match. Cassie, at thirty-three, wants a husband and kids, and so far nothing’s worked. Not blind dates, not the internet and certainly not leaving love to chance. What other options are there? Well…she could hire a professional matchmaker. Simon Dodson has quite a reputation, but he’s very choosy about the clients he takes on—and very expensive. Cassie considers him a difficult, acerbic know-it-all, and she’s astonished when he accepts her as a client. Claiming he has her perfect mate in mind, Simon assigns her three tasks to complete before she meets this paragon. Three tasks that are all about Christmas: being a charity bell-ringer, dressing up as Santa’s elf at a mall and preparing a traditional turkey dinner for her neighbors (most of whom she happens to dislike). Despite a number of comical mishaps, Cassie does it all—and then she’s finally ready to meet her match. But just like the perfect Christmas gift, he turns out to be a wonderful surprise! |
| anxious person's guide to non monogamy: Healing Trauma with Guided Drawing Cornelia Elbrecht, 2019-06-04 A body-focused, trauma-informed art therapy that will appeal to art therapists, somatic experiencing practitioners, bodyworkers, artists, and mental health professionals While art therapy traditionally focuses on therapeutic image-making and the cognitive or symbolic interpretation of these creations, Cornelia Elbrecht instructs readers how to facilitate the body-focused approach of guided drawing. Clients draw with both hands and eyes closed as they focus on their felt sense. Physical pain, tension, and emotions are expressed without words through bilateral scribbles. Clients then, with an almost massage-like approach, find movements that soothe their pain, discharge inner tension and emotions, and repair boundary breaches. Archetypal shapes allow therapists to safely structure the experience in a nonverbal way. Sensorimotor art therapy is a unique and self-empowering application of somatic experiencing--it is both body-focused and trauma-informed in approach--and assists clients who have experienced complex traumatic events to actively respond to overwhelming experiences until they feel less helpless and overwhelmed and are then able to repair their memories of the past. Elbrecht provides readers with the context of body-focused, trauma-informed art therapy and walks them through the thinking behind and process of guided drawing--including 100 full-color images from client sessions that serve as helpful examples of the work. |
| anxious person's guide to non monogamy: Designer Relationships Mark Michaels, 2015-09-08 Contemporary relationships are in a state of rapid evolution. These changes can and should empower people with the opportunity to develop partnerships based on their own sexualities, understandings, and agreements. This makes it possible to create what Kenneth Haslam, founder of the Kinsey Institute’s Polyamory Archive, has called “designer relationships.” Designer relationships may encompass: people who bond emotionally but not sexually; people who agree to be non-exclusive; single people who have occasional lovers or friends with benefits; multiple partner configurations where long-term bonds exist among all or some; partnerships in which people are kinky and that make room to explore kink. The possibilities are limitless, and thinking about a partnership as something people can craft allows for flexibility and change. Relationships can open and close or have varying degrees and kinds of openness as circumstances demand. In the context of a designer relationship, decisions are made mutually, consciously, and deliberately. Best-selling authors and nationally known relationship experts Patricia Johnson and Mark A. Michaels are exemplars of this life choice, and have studied polyamory for over 20 years. This book explains exactly how you and your loved ones can design your own life and love. |
| anxious person's guide to non monogamy: Open Monogamy Tammy Nelson, 2021-12-14 Dr. Tammy Nelson is a relationship revolutionary. Her rethinking of monogamy—as a practice, a continuum, and a flexible concept—is on point, actionable, and nothing less than a significant cultural shift. —Wednesday Martin, PhD, New York Times bestselling author of Primates of Park Avenue and Untrue Love is eternal—but in an age when we live longer, communicate differently, and value gender equality, is it any wonder so many people are looking for new ways to support lasting, loving partnerships? “Monogamy is no longer a simple concept,” says Dr. Tammy Nelson. “More couples every year are experimenting with open relationships and newer, more flexible versions of commitment ... yet few of us have been prepared with the skills we need to make those agreements work.” Open Monogamy is a practical guide for people who wish to explore new directions in their relationships—to bring in excitement, variety, and fresh experiences without sacrificing trust, security, and respect. Through solo and partner exercises and real-life stories from people across the spectrum of relationship styles, you’ll explore: • The changing face of relationships—why the time to explore new visions of love has arrived • Can open monogamy work for you? Self-assessment tools to find your place on the “monogamy continuum” • Essential skills for having honest conversations about attraction and desire • Exercises to remove shame and suspicion about open relationships • How to create agreements—traditional or otherwise—that are fulfilling, exhilarating, and built to last Dr. Nelson’s 30 years of experience as a relationship and sex therapist have shown her that relationships can flourish even when the old idea of monogamy fails. “You want to love each other with fairness and integrity because that’s what you signed up for, and honesty aligns with your shared values ... But you also want more. You want answers. The bad news? There is no one right way to do this. The good news? You can have anything you want.” If you’ve ever wondered how to try an open relationship or polyamory, Open Monogamy gives you the tools you need to create a commitment agreement as unique as your love. |
| anxious person's guide to non monogamy: Three Dads and a Baby Ian Jenkins, 2021-03-09 As a closeted teen, Ian wondered if he would ever fall in love or be able to live openly with a male partner. Years later, he had not one but two partners in a polyamorous throuple, and the support of family, friends, and coworkers. But something was still missing. Spurred by a friend’s donation of two embryos, Ian, Alan, and Jeremy embarked on a sometimes hilarious, sometimes tearful quest to become parents. Along the way, they faced IVF failures, the threat of Zika virus, a battle at their clinic that forced them into an urgent hunt for a new doctor, pregnancy-threatening bleeds, costly legal battles, and a reluctant superior court judge. Ultimately the grace of women—embryo donors, their egg donor, their surrogate, even a surprise milk donor—allowed them to complete their family with one perfect girl. And in fighting for their family, they became the first polyamorous family ever named as the legal parents of a child. |
| anxious person's guide to non monogamy: Love and Freedom Jorge N. Ferrer, 2021-06-24 In Love and Freedom, Jorge Ferrer proposes a paradigm shift in how romantic relationships are conceptualized, a step forward in the evolution of modern relationships. In the same way that the transgender movement surmounted the gender binary, Ferrer defines how a parallel step can—and should—be taken with the relational style binary. This book offers the first systematic discussion of relationship modes beyond monogamy and polyamory, as well as introduces the notion of “relational freedom” as the capability to choose one’s relational style free from biological, psychological, and sociocultural conditionings. To achieve these goals, Ferrer first discusses a number of critical categories—specifically, monopride/polyphobia, and polypride/monophobia—that mediate the contemporary “mono–poly wars,” that is, the predicament of mutual competition among monogamists and polyamorists. The ideological nature of these “mono–poly wars” is demonstrated through a review of available empirical literature on the psychological health and relationship quality of monogamous and polyamorous individuals and couples. Then, after showing how monogamy and polyamory ultimately reinforce each other, Ferrer articulates three relational pathways to living in-between, through, and beyond the mono/poly binary: fluidity, hybridity, and transcendence. Moving beyond that binary opens a fuzzy, liminal, and multivocal relational space that Ferrer calls novogamy. In this groundbreaking book, readers will learn practical tools to not only transform jealousy, but also enhance their relational freedom while being aware of key issues of diversity and social justice. They will also learn novel criteria to evaluate the success of their intimate relationships, and be introduced to a transformed vision of romantic love beyond both monocentrism and emerging polynormativities. |
| anxious person's guide to non monogamy: Polyamory and Jealousy Eve Rickert, Franklin Veaux, 2022-02 How do you deal with jealousy? It's the first question many people ask when they hear about polyamory. Tools for dealing with jealous feelings are among the most basic resources in a well-equipped polyamory toolkit. Eve Rickert and Franklin Veaux, authors of the popular polyamory book More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory, present Polyamory and Jealousy, part of the More Than Two Essentials series. The essentials take sections from More Than Two, expand on them, and present them in a practical, easy-to-use format that can be read in a single sitting. In this booklet, you will find pragmatic ways to handle feelings of jealousy when they arise. You'll learn tools for identifying jealousy, strategies for decoding what it means, and hands-on advice for dealing with it before it undermines your relationship. If jealousy is a problem for you or someone you love, this companion to More Than Two offers a path through the wilderness. |
| anxious person's guide to non monogamy: Good Christian Sex Bromleigh McCleneghan, 2016-07-05 Moving beyond the deep-seated cultural feelings of shame that have long fueled the conflict between Christianity and sex—and the belief that there is only one right and valid way to practice one’s sexuality—this renowned University of Chicago pastor uses enlightening personal stories and examples from theology to show how sex is powerful and holy. For years, Christians have been told to adhere to one singular path when it comes to sex: abstinence and purity. Yet this limited focus ignores the reality that people’s sexual and romantic lives differ widely, even among those who consider themselves devout believers. Church leaders have often refused to address the topic—or have preached in ways that are harmful to the emotional and spiritual growth of the faithful in the pews. Pastor McCleneghan is determined to reshape the issue—and fundamentally transcend this disconnect between sexuality and spirituality that has left many Christians feeling guilty and sinful. Written in her measured, non-judgmental voice, Good Christian Sex combines humorous personal anecdotes with theological research to transform how Christians think and talk about this basic human need, offering a new understanding that reconciles human love and religious faith. Breaking with outdated conventions, McCleneghan explains how the Bible and Christian tradition inform our beliefs about desire, pleasure, nudity, fidelity, premarital sex, and the variety of sexual practices, and encourages Christians to talk about their bodies, their sensuality, and their longings in a frank, positive, and realistic way. Warm, insightful, and honest, Good Christian Sex is a message of hope, that at last lifts the veil of shame felt by many religious people. |
ANXIOUS Definition & Meaning - Merriam-Webster
May 31, 2012 · The meaning of ANXIOUS is characterized by extreme uneasiness of mind or brooding fear about some contingency : worried. How to use anxious in a sentence. Can …
Anxiety disorders - Symptoms and causes - Mayo Clinic
May 4, 2018 · Common anxiety signs and symptoms include: Several types of anxiety disorders exist: Agoraphobia (ag-uh-ruh-FOE-be-uh) is a type of anxiety disorder in which you fear and …
Anxiety - Wikipedia
Anxiety is an emotion characterised by an unpleasant state of inner turmoil and includes feelings of dread over anticipated events. [1][2][3] Anxiety is different from fear in that fear is defined as …
How to Ease Your Anxiety - WebMD
Apr 5, 2023 · Everyone feels anxious from time to time. Occasional anxiety is a normal reaction to uncertainty about what’s going to happen next, whether that’s in the next few minutes, days, or …
Anxiety Disorders: Causes, Types, Symptoms, & Treatments - Healthline
Jan 2, 2023 · Anxiety is your body’s natural response to stress. It’s a feeling of fear or apprehension about what’s to come. For example, going to a job interview or giving a speech …
ANXIOUS Definition & Meaning | Dictionary.com
Anxious definition: full of mental distress or uneasiness because of fear of danger or misfortune; greatly worried; apprehensive.. See examples of ANXIOUS used in a sentence.
Anxiety: Symptoms, types, causes, prevention, and treatment
Aug 27, 2024 · Anxiety is a feeling of fear, tension, or worry that occurs as a response to real or perceived threats. When a person feels afraid, it triggers the body’s stress response, also …
10 Signs You May Have Anxiety - Cleveland Clinic Health Essentials
Sep 13, 2023 · When is anxiety something you should worry about? We all feel some degree of anxiety when confronted with a threat — either real (like when a car swerves into your lane) or …
What Is Anxiety? Symptoms, Causes, Diagnosis, Treatment, and …
Apr 25, 2023 · Anxiety is a feeling of nervousness, unease, or worry that typically occurs in the absence of an imminent threat. It differs from fear, which is the body’s natural response to …
Anxiety: What it is, what to do - Harvard Health
Jun 1, 2018 · Severity of symptoms and a person's ability to cope separate everyday worries or anxious moments from anxiety disorders. National surveys estimate nearly one in five …
ANXIOUS Definition & Meaning - Merriam-Webster
May 31, 2012 · The meaning of ANXIOUS is characterized by extreme uneasiness of mind or brooding fear about some contingency : worried. How to use anxious in a sentence. Can …
Anxiety disorders - Symptoms and causes - Mayo Clinic
May 4, 2018 · Common anxiety signs and symptoms include: Several types of anxiety disorders exist: Agoraphobia (ag-uh-ruh-FOE-be-uh) is a type of anxiety disorder in which you fear and …
Anxiety - Wikipedia
Anxiety is an emotion characterised by an unpleasant state of inner turmoil and includes feelings of dread over anticipated events. [1][2][3] Anxiety is different from fear in that fear is defined as …
How to Ease Your Anxiety - WebMD
Apr 5, 2023 · Everyone feels anxious from time to time. Occasional anxiety is a normal reaction to uncertainty about what’s going to happen next, whether that’s in the next few minutes, days, or …
Anxiety Disorders: Causes, Types, Symptoms, & Treatments - Healthline
Jan 2, 2023 · Anxiety is your body’s natural response to stress. It’s a feeling of fear or apprehension about what’s to come. For example, going to a job interview or giving a speech …
ANXIOUS Definition & Meaning | Dictionary.com
Anxious definition: full of mental distress or uneasiness because of fear of danger or misfortune; greatly worried; apprehensive.. See examples of ANXIOUS used in a sentence.
Anxiety: Symptoms, types, causes, prevention, and treatment
Aug 27, 2024 · Anxiety is a feeling of fear, tension, or worry that occurs as a response to real or perceived threats. When a person feels afraid, it triggers the body’s stress response, also …
10 Signs You May Have Anxiety - Cleveland Clinic Health Essentials
Sep 13, 2023 · When is anxiety something you should worry about? We all feel some degree of anxiety when confronted with a threat — either real (like when a car swerves into your lane) or …
What Is Anxiety? Symptoms, Causes, Diagnosis, Treatment, and …
Apr 25, 2023 · Anxiety is a feeling of nervousness, unease, or worry that typically occurs in the absence of an imminent threat. It differs from fear, which is the body’s natural response to …
Anxiety: What it is, what to do - Harvard Health
Jun 1, 2018 · Severity of symptoms and a person's ability to cope separate everyday worries or anxious moments from anxiety disorders. National surveys estimate nearly one in five …
