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| examples of defensive communication: Taking the War Out of Our Words Sharon Strand Ellison, 2016-12 Whether we are dealing with a rude clerk, our child saying, That's not fair , our spouse ignoring us, or an uncooperative co-worker, in our struggle to respond effectively, we often become defensive - sometimes without even realizing it. Despite good intentions, we can become manipulative and controlling, even with those we love most. In this groundbreaking book, Sharon Ellison takes us to the root of our communication problems. She shows us how defensiveness functions in our lives and can lead to hurtful power struggles, outlining the six basic patterns we use: * Self-Betrayal * Avoidance * Excuses * Sabotage * Vindictiveness * Blame Using her Powerful, Non-Defensive Communication process, you can express yourself with a compelling blend of vulnerability and honesty. Learn to: * Ask disarming questions that prompt others to drop their defenses and open up * Give direct feedback to others without being judgmental * Express your own beliefs, feelings, and ideas passionately without being adversarial, so you can be heard and respected * Set firm boundaries that create security and clear expectations. Taking the War Out of Our Words provides us with vital tools for healing conflict, enhancing self-esteem, becoming more open and spontaneous, strengthening relationships, transforming organizations, and guiding the way toward peace in our global community. |
| examples of defensive communication: Defensive Communications Andrew Garnett, 2016-07 Defensive Communications is written for the beginner through the intermediate bridge skill level that wants to learn how to communicate and think like the pros during the defense! It is split into two sections, Basics and Advanced, so the reader can go at their own pace, adding more and more to their defensive arsenal as they progress as a Bridge player. The fundamentals presented in this book are a must for EVERY Bridge player. |
| examples of defensive communication: Difficult Conversations Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen, 2023-08-22 The 10th-anniversary edition of the New York Times business bestseller-now updated with Answers to Ten Questions People Ask We attempt or avoid difficult conversations every day-whether dealing with an underperforming employee, disagreeing with a spouse, or negotiating with a client. From the Harvard Negotiation Project, the organization that brought you Getting to Yes, Difficult Conversations provides a step-by-step approach to having those tough conversations with less stress and more success. you'll learn how to: · Decipher the underlying structure of every difficult conversation · Start a conversation without defensiveness · Listen for the meaning of what is not said · Stay balanced in the face of attacks and accusations · Move from emotion to productive problem solving |
| examples of defensive communication: The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-defense Suzette Haden Elgin, 1980 Most of us are under verbal attack everyday and often don't realize it. In The Gentle Art of Verbal Self-Defense you'll learn the skills you need to respond to all types of verbal attack |
| examples of defensive communication: Why Marriages Succeed or Fail John Gottman, 2012-12-11 Psychologist John Gottman has spent twenty years studying what makes a marriage last. Now you can use his tested methods to evaluate, strengthen, and maintain your own long-term relationship. This breakthrough book guides you through a series of self-tests designed to help you determine what kind of marriage you have, where your strengths and weaknesses are, and what specific actions you can take to help your marriage. You'll also learn that more sex doesn't necessarily improve a marriage, frequent arguing will not lead to divorce, financial problems do not always spell trouble in a relationship, wives who make sour facial expressions when their husbands talk are likely to be separated within four years and there is a reason husbands withdraw from arguments—and there's a way around it. Dr. Gottman teaches you how to recognize attitudes that doom a marriage—contempt, criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling—and provides practical exercises, quizzes, tips, and techniques that will help you understand and make the most of your relationship. You can avoid patterns that lead to divorce, and—Why Marriages Succeed or Fail will show you how. |
| examples of defensive communication: Professor Kelli's Guide to Finding a Husband M. S. W. Kelli Miller, 2010-05-22 I know what youOre thinking. You hate me. You got a glimpse of my ring and youOre pissed. I know your kind because I was once your kind. Every time I saw a happy couple I could feel last nightOs dinner coming up. When I saw wedding magazines I wanted to take a blowtorch to each one of them. Engagement rings? The only way you could talk to me about OkaratsO was if you were going to feed one to your pet rabbit. Yes, I was sick. Sick of set-ups, match-ups, and break-ups. IOd been on blind dates and IOve been on dates where I wish I were blind. But I finally did find Mr. Right. And IOm going to show you how. Through humor, empowerment, and basic common sense clinical social worker Professor Kelli instills confidence in women, makes them laugh at their situation (or the men theyOve dated), and teaches them the process of letting go and staying present. Sure, it's about finding a husband but it's more about finding you first. |
| examples of defensive communication: Real Influence Mark Goulston, John Ullmen, John B. Ullmen, 2013 People won't put up with being sold anymore. If they sense they are being pushed, their guard goes up-and even if they do comply, lingering resentment undermines the relationship...maybe forever. Yet, most books on influence still portray it as something you do to someone else to get your way. That out-of-date approach invites resistance or cynicism from those who recognize the techniques. Manipulative tactics might occasionally wear down a colleague's or client's resistance, but they fail to produce the mutual trust that sustains successful relationships. In short, they just won't work in our sophisticated, post-selling world. In this groundbreaking book, authors Mark Goulston and John Ullmen reveal a new model for authentic influence-the kind that creates a strong initial connection and survives long after agreement has been reached. Based on listening, genuine engagement and commitment to win-win outcomes, Real Influence provides a powerful four-step method you can use to: * Examine your priorities * Learn about the key players and what they need * Earn their attention and motivate them to hear more * Add value with your questions and actions Complete with examples of the steps in action and insights from real-world power influencers, this one-of-a-kind guide shows that being straight with everyone means winning for all. www.getrealinfluence.com |
| examples of defensive communication: Adult Personality Growth in Psychotherapy Mardi J. Horowitz, 2016-05-03 Describes a clinician-patient relationship for the achievement of a wider range of safe emotional expression and mastery of previous traumas. |
| examples of defensive communication: Why We Suffer Peter Michaelson, 2015-02-15 Why We Suffer is the amazing story of what mainstream psychology has failed to teach the world. The author, Peter Michaelson, is a former journalist and science writer who has been in private practice as a psychotherapist for more than 25 years. This book reveals how we hide from our awareness--through resistance, denial, and psychological defenses--the existence of a hidden flaw in our psyche. This unconscious, mental-emotional processing dysfunction is a grave danger to each of us personally and to all of us collectively. Through our defense system, we cover up awareness of this inner dysfunction.This flaw in human nature produces irrationality, self-defeat, and negative emotions. It gets the best of us only when we fail to become conscious of it. When we expose it, we begin to remedy the problem. When this flaw no longer contaminates our inner life, we feel, just for starters, our goodness and our value more fully, and we're more respectful of the goodness and value of others.Most of us have problems or challenges we would like to resolve. Collectively, we also have challenging national and worldwide problems that need to be corrected. We may not be up to these challenges if we're not conscious enough of our inner dynamics. Handicapped by a lack of self-knowledge, how can we trust ourselves to avoid conflict and self-defeat? We will fail repeatedly to learn from history.A lot of good ideas are in circulation for making ourselves and the world a better place. But good ideas aren't enough in themselves. This hidden flaw can keep good ideas from being acted on because it compels us, at best, to be indecisive, confused, and prone to dissension. At worst, it produces self-defeat and self-destruction. This negative effect consistently trumps our good ideas and best intentions.This book reveals essential knowledge that humankind has been reluctant to accept. This knowledge involves our hidden, unconscious collusion in producing self-defeating emotions and behaviors. The key to taking charge of our life involves seeing more clearly than ever how our emotional nature is processed within us. |
| examples of defensive communication: The Dark Side of Interpersonal Communication Brian H. Spitzberg, William R. Cupach, 2009-03-04 The Dark Side of Interpersonal Communication examines the multifunctional ways in which seemingly productive communication can be destructive—and vice versa—and explores the many ways in which dysfunctional interpersonal communication operates across a variety of personal relationship contexts. This second edition of Brian Spitzberg and William Cupach’s classic volume presents new chapters and topics, along with updates of several chapters in the earlier edition, all in the context of surveying the scholarly landscape for new and important avenues of investigation. Offering much new content, this volume features internationally renowned scholars addressing such compelling topics as uncertainty and secrecy in relationships; the role of negotiating self in cyberspace; criticism and complaints; teasing and bullying; infidelity and relational transgressions; revenge; and adolescent physical aggression toward parents. The chapters are organized thematically and offer a range of perspectives from both junior scholars and seasoned academics. By posing questions at the micro and macro levels, The Dark Side of Interpersonal Communication draws closer to a perspective in which the darker sides and brighter sides of human experience are better integrated in theory and research. Appropriate for scholars, practitioners, and students in communication, social psychology, sociology, counseling, conflict, personal relationships, and related areas, this book is also useful as a text in graduate courses on interpersonal communication, ethics, and other special topics. |
| examples of defensive communication: The Relationship Alphabet Zach Brittle, 2015-07-07 The Relationship Alphabet is an alphabetical survey of relationship topics based on the research of Dr. John Gottman. The book includes insights on communication, conflict management and friendship building. Practical discussion questions make it easy to turn ideas into action. |
| examples of defensive communication: Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage John Gottman, PhD, Julie Schwartz Gottman, PhD, Joan DeClaire, 2007-06-26 In Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage, marital psychologists John and Julie Gottman provide vital tools—scientifically based and empirically verified—that you can use to regain affection and romance lost through years of ineffective communication. In 1994, Dr. John Gottman and his colleagues at the University of Washington made a startling announcement: Through scientific observation and mathematical analysis, they could predict—with more than 90 percent accuracy—whether a marriage would succeed or fail. The only thing they did not yet know was how to turn a failing marriage into a successful one, so Gottman teamed up with his clinical psychologist wife, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, to develop intervention methods. Now the Gottmans, together with the Love Lab research facility, have put these ideas into practice. What emerged from the Gottmans’ collaboration and decades of research is a body of advice that’s based on two surprisingly simple truths: Happily married couples behave like good friends, and they handle their conflicts in gentle, positive ways. The authors offer an intimate look at ten couples who have learned to work through potentially destructive problems—extramarital affairs, workaholism, parenthood adjustments, serious illnesses, lack of intimacy—and examine what they’ve done to improve communication and get their marriages back on track. Hundreds of thousands have seen their relationships improve thanks to the Gottmans’ work. Whether you want to make a strong relationship more fulfilling or rescue one that’s headed for disaster, Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage is essential reading. |
| examples of defensive communication: What Makes Love Last? John Gottman, John Mordechai Gottman, Nan Silver, 2013-09-10 One of the foremost relationship experts at work today offers creative insight on building trust and avoiding betrayal, helping readers to decode the mysteries of healthy love and relationships-- |
| examples of defensive communication: Biff Bill Eddy, 2011-05 This little book gives more than 20 examples of BIFF responses--brief, informative, friendly, and firm--for all areas of life, plus additional tips to help readers deal with high-conflict people anywhere. 158 pp. |
| examples of defensive communication: Defending Your Brand T. Calkins, 2017-06-30 Here Calkins shows business how to create and maintain a defensive strategy including: how to understand and get competitive intelligence; how to determine if your brand or company is at risk; how to create a defensive strategy; limiting risk and preventing a trial; understanding your own IP as a weapon - and much more. |
| examples of defensive communication: Radical Candor Kim Malone Scott, 2017-03-28 Radical Candor is the sweet spot between managers who are obnoxiously aggressive on the one side and ruinously empathetic on the other. It is about providing guidance, which involves a mix of praise as well as criticism, delivered to produce better results and help employees develop their skills and boundaries of success. Great bosses have a strong relationship with their employees, and Kim Scott Malone has identified three simple principles for building better relationships with your employees: make it personal, get stuff done, and understand why it matters. Radical Candor offers a guide to those bewildered or exhausted by management, written for bosses and those who manage bosses. Drawing on years of first-hand experience, and distilled clearly to give actionable lessons to the reader, Radical Candor shows how to be successful while retaining your integrity and humanity. Radical Candor is the perfect handbook for those who are looking to find meaning in their job and create an environment where people both love their work, their colleagues and are motivated to strive to ever greater success. |
| examples of defensive communication: Just Listen Mark Goulston, 2015-03-04 Getting through to someone is a critical, fine art. Whether you are dealing with a harried colleague, a stressed-out client, or an insecure spouse, things will go from bad to worse if you can't break through emotional barricades and get your message thoroughly communicated and registered. Drawing on his experience as a psychiatrist, business consultant, and coach, author Mark Goulston combines his background with the latest scientific research to help you turn the “impossible” and “unreachable” people in their lives into allies, devoted customers, loyal colleagues, and lifetime friends. In Just Listen, Goulston provides simple yet powerful techniques you can use to really get through to people including how to: make a powerful and positive first impression; listen effectively; make even a total stranger (potential client) feel understood; talk an angry or aggressive person away from an instinctual, unproductive reaction and toward a more rational mindset; and achieve buy-in--the linchpin of all persuasion, negotiation, and sales. Whether they're coworkers, friends, strangers, or enemies, the first make-or-break step in persuading anyone to do anything is getting them to hear you out. The invaluable principles in Just Listen will get you through that first tough step with anyone. With this groundbreaking book, you will be able to master the fine but critical art of effective communication. |
| examples of defensive communication: Don't be So Defensive Sharon Ellison, 1998 Therapist and communicator Sharon Ellison offers a practical handbook which contains the tools to replace the war model of verbal communication at home or at work with a peaceful method that heals interpersonal relationships and promotes creative dialogue. |
| examples of defensive communication: Understanding Human Communication Ronald Brian Adler, George R. Rodman, 2012 This best-selling textbook for introductory human communication courses places communication theory within the context of everyday skills. |
| examples of defensive communication: Ask a Manager Alison Green, 2018-05-01 From the creator of the popular website Ask a Manager and New York’s work-advice columnist comes a witty, practical guide to 200 difficult professional conversations—featuring all-new advice! There’s a reason Alison Green has been called “the Dear Abby of the work world.” Ten years as a workplace-advice columnist have taught her that people avoid awkward conversations in the office because they simply don’t know what to say. Thankfully, Green does—and in this incredibly helpful book, she tackles the tough discussions you may need to have during your career. You’ll learn what to say when • coworkers push their work on you—then take credit for it • you accidentally trash-talk someone in an email then hit “reply all” • you’re being micromanaged—or not being managed at all • you catch a colleague in a lie • your boss seems unhappy with your work • your cubemate’s loud speakerphone is making you homicidal • you got drunk at the holiday party Praise for Ask a Manager “A must-read for anyone who works . . . [Alison Green’s] advice boils down to the idea that you should be professional (even when others are not) and that communicating in a straightforward manner with candor and kindness will get you far, no matter where you work.”—Booklist (starred review) “The author’s friendly, warm, no-nonsense writing is a pleasure to read, and her advice can be widely applied to relationships in all areas of readers’ lives. Ideal for anyone new to the job market or new to management, or anyone hoping to improve their work experience.”—Library Journal (starred review) “I am a huge fan of Alison Green’s Ask a Manager column. This book is even better. It teaches us how to deal with many of the most vexing big and little problems in our workplaces—and to do so with grace, confidence, and a sense of humor.”—Robert Sutton, Stanford professor and author of The No Asshole Rule and The Asshole Survival Guide “Ask a Manager is the ultimate playbook for navigating the traditional workforce in a diplomatic but firm way.”—Erin Lowry, author of Broke Millennial: Stop Scraping By and Get Your Financial Life Together |
| examples of defensive communication: Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts Les Parrott, Leslie Parrott, 2015-10-27 OVER ONE MILLION COPIES SOLD! With this updated edition of their award-winning book, Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott help you launch lifelong love like never before. This is more than a book--it's an experience, especially when you use the his/her workbooks filled with more than 40 fun exercises. Get ready for deeper intimacy with the best friend you'll ever have. Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts, which has been translated into more than 15 languages, is the most widely used marriage prep tool in the world. Why? Because it will help you . . . Uncover the misbeliefs of marriage Learn to communicate with instant understanding Discover the secret to resolving conflict Master the skills of money management Get your sex life off to a great start A compelling video, featuring real-life couples, is available, and with this updated edition, Les and Leslie unveil the game-changing SYMBIS Assessment. Now you can discover how to leverage your personalities for a love that lasts a lifetime. Make your marriage everything it is meant to be. Save your marriage--before (and after) it starts. |
| examples of defensive communication: Overcoming Fake Talk: How to Hold REAL Conversations that Create Respect, Build Relationships, and Get Results John R. Stoker, 2013-05-17 MAKE EVERY CONVERSATION A REAL CONVERSATION THAT GETS RESULTS In Overcoming Fake Talk, business communication guru John R. Stoker offers proven advice for turning challenging confrontations into rewarding exchanges that foster collaboration, improve performance, and achieve results. Overcoming Fake Talk is a thorough compendium of ideas, frameworks, examples, and actions to improve conversations. Stoker's four 'REAL' conversation skills and eight principles give the novice and master insights and guidelines for improving conversation. -- Dave Ulrich, Professor, Ross School of Business, University of Michigan; Partner, The RBL Group; and author of The Why of Work Great questions, great suggestions. . . . Bravo! I will put Stoker's ideas to use in my own practice. -- Beverly Kaye, founder and co-CEO, Career Systems International, and coauthor of Help Them Grow or Watch Them Go Adhering to and implementing these principles will dramatically increase your ability to communicate and improve your relationships in your professional and personal life. -- Hyrum W. Smith, cofounder, FranklinCovey An insightful blend of rock-solid theory accompanied by compelling examples of the huge distinction between real and fake communication. -- John H. Zenger, CEO, Zenger Folkman, and coauthor of How to Be Exceptional Stoker teaches true principles for getting Results, Respect, and great Relationships using REAL conversation. -- Brent D. Peterson, PhD, coauthor of Fake Work |
| examples of defensive communication: The Enneagram Helen Palmer, 2011-11-22 It would be impossible for most of us to spend a day without coming into direct or indirect contact with dozens of people family, friends, people in the street, at the office, on television, in our fantasies and fears. Our relationships with others are the most changeable, infuriating, pleasurable and mystifying elements in our lives. Personality types, based on the ancient system of the Enneagram, will help you to enjoy more satisfying and fulfilling relationships in all areas of your life by introducing you to the nine basic personality types inherent in human nature. This knowledge will help you better understand how others think and why they behave as they do, as well as increasing your awareness of your own individual personality. Written by the leading world authority on the Enneagram, it offers a framework for understanding ourselves and those around us, as well as a wealth of practical insights for anyone interested in psychology, counselling, teaching, social work, journalism and personal management. |
| examples of defensive communication: Defensive Information Warfare David Stephen Alberts, 1996 |
| examples of defensive communication: Getting It Right When It Matters Most Tony Gambill, Scott Carbonara, 2021-06-01 Discover how to Get It Right in your Moments That Matter—when the situation is complex and relational—and the stakes are high. Transform the outcome of your most challenging situations and interactions when you feel— Threatened by charged emotions or uncertainty Paralyzed by fear of saying (or doing) the wrong thing (again) Defeated by a relationship that seems damaged beyond repair Perplexed about how to achieve the results you desire Stalled in progress with others due to differing styles and perspective. In an ever-changing environment when typical habits, behaviors, and thinking aren’t enough, Getting It Right When It Matters Most introduces research backed insight and a simple model for your most important situations. Apply self-awareness, learning agility, and emotional intelligence through the Self, Outlook, Action, and Reflection (SOAR) cycle. |
| examples of defensive communication: The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder Randi Kreger, 2009-06-03 Gentle counsel and realistic advice for families contending with one of today's most misunderstood forms of mental illness. For family members of people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), home life is routinely unpredictable and frequently unbearable. Extreme mood swings, impulsive behaviors, unfair blaming and criticism, and suicidal tendencies--common conduct among those who suffer from the disorder--leave family members feeling confused, hurt, and helpless. In Stop Walking on Eggshells, Randi Kreger's pioneering first book which sold more than 340,000 copies, she and co-author Paul T. Mason outlined the fundamental differences in the way that people with BPD relate to the world. Now, with The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder, Kreger takes readers to the next level by offering them five straightforward tools to organize their thinking, learn specific skills, and focus on what they need to do to get off the emotional rollercoaster: (1) Take care of yourself; (2) Uncover what keeps you feeling stuck; (3) Communicate to be heard; (4) Set limits with love; and (5) Reinforce the right behaviors. Together the steps provide a clear-cut system designed to help friends and family reduce stress, improve their relationship with their borderline loved one, improve their problem-solving skills and minimize conflict, and feel more self-assured about setting limits. |
| examples of defensive communication: Neurobiology of Chemical Communication Carla Mucignat-Caretta, 2014-02-14 Intraspecific communication involves the activation of chemoreceptors and subsequent activation of different central areas that coordinate the responses of the entire organism—ranging from behavioral modification to modulation of hormones release. Animals emit intraspecific chemical signals, often referred to as pheromones, to advertise their presence to members of the same species and to regulate interactions aimed at establishing and regulating social and reproductive bonds. In the last two decades, scientists have developed a greater understanding of the neural processing of these chemical signals. Neurobiology of Chemical Communication explores the role of the chemical senses in mediating intraspecific communication. Providing an up-to-date outline of the most recent advances in the field, it presents data from laboratory and wild species, ranging from invertebrates to vertebrates, from insects to humans. The book examines the structure, anatomy, electrophysiology, and molecular biology of pheromones. It discusses how chemical signals work on different mammalian and non-mammalian species and includes chapters on insects, Drosophila, honey bees, amphibians, mice, tigers, and cattle. It also explores the controversial topic of human pheromones. An essential reference for students and researchers in the field of pheromones, this is also an ideal resource for those working on behavioral phenotyping of animal models and persons interested in the biology/ecology of wild and domestic species. |
| examples of defensive communication: Feeling Good Together David D. Burns, M.D., 2008-12-30 Based on twenty-five years of clinical experience and groundbreaking research on more than 1,000 individuals, Feeling Good Together presents an entirely new theory of why we have so much trouble getting along with each other, and provides simple, powerful techniques to make relationships work. We all have someone we can’t get along with—whether it’s a friend or colleague who complains constantly; a relentlessly critical boss; an obnoxious neighbor; a teenager who pouts and slams doors, all the while insisting she’s not upset; or a loving, but irritating spouse. In Feeling Good Together, Dr. David Burns presents Cognitive Interpersonal Therapy, a radical new approach that will help you transform troubled, conflicted relationships into successful, happy ones. Dr. Burns’ method for improving these relationships is easy and surprisingly effective. In Feeling Good Together, you’ll learn how to: - Stop pointing fingers at everyone else and start looking at yourself. - Pinpoint the exact cause of the problem with any person you’re not getting along with. - And solve virtually any kind of relationship conflict almost instantly. Filled with helpful examples and brilliant, user-friendly tools such as the Relationship Satisfaction Test, the Relationship Journal, the Five Secrets of Effective Communication, the Intimacy Exercise, and more, Feeling Good Together will help you enjoy far more loving and satisfying relationships with the people you care about. You deserve rewarding, intimate relationships. Feeling Good Together will show you how. |
| examples of defensive communication: Anger Management For The Twenty-First Century Century Anger Management Publishing, 2005 This is an excellent resource for learning how to manage and control issues relating to the emotion of anger. The book includes numerous lessons and helpful tools and information on topics such as stress management, empathy, assertive communication, forgiveness, expectation management, self-talk, judgment and impulse control management, and much more. This is a perfect book to use as a self help manual for individuals, couples, and families as well as mental health professionals, businesses, clergy, probation departments and law enforcement personnel. (Product description). |
| examples of defensive communication: Bridge Barbara Seagram, David Bird, 2006 Defense is the hardest part of playing bridge, but that doesn't mean that it's impossible to learn. The authors explain how to make a plan as a defender: how to work out from the auction and play what declarer probably has, and which of the strategies available to defenders is likely to be successful. |
| examples of defensive communication: Verbal Judo George J. Thompson, PhD, 2010-10-12 Verbal Judo is the martial art of the mind and mouth that can show you how to be better prepared in every verbal encounter. Listen and speak more effectively, engage people through empathy (the most powerful word in the English language), avoid the most common conversational disasters, and use proven strategies that allow you to successfully communicate your point of view and take the upper hand in most disputes. Verbal Judo offers a creative look at conflict that will help you defuse confrontations and generate cooperation from your spouse, your boss, and even your teenager. As the author says, when you react, the event controls you. When you respond, you’re in control. This new edition features a fresh new cover and a foreword demonstrating the legacy of Verbal Judo founder and author George Thompson, as well as a never-before-published final chapter presenting Thompson’s Five Universal Truths of human interaction. |
| examples of defensive communication: De-Escalate Douglas E. Noll, 2017-09-12 Written by award-winning author, highly experienced mediator, and co-founder of the Prison of Peace project, Douglas E. Noll, De-Escalate gives you the proven process to calm any angry person or volatile situation in 90 seconds or less. Based on the practical experience of a master mediator and grounded in the latest findings in neuroscience, Douglas Noll offers his proven process—to empower you to successfully and efficiently de-escalate an angry person or volatile situation in 90 seconds or less—and how to apply this skill in all areas of life. We live in a more socially polarized time nationally and globally than ever before, as arguments easily flare up, aggression and bullying rises, and lines are drawn over politics, religion, and ideology. De-Escalate provides a new set of social listening and communication skills that solve the problem of what to do with angry, emotional people. The quick and effective techniques detailed in De-Escalate will help anyone dealing with this increase in anger from outside sources or anger in themselves. With simple, easy-to-understand steps, De-Escalate walks you through real-life examples and scenario-based conversations in order to create resolutions, build emotional intelligence, and cultivate empathy and healing. This book will teach the precise tools to master becoming a peacemaker, cultivating ways to co-exist and co-respect others in an increasingly hostile world. |
| examples of defensive communication: Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder Shari Y. Manning, 2011-08-18 People with borderline personality disorder (BPD) can be intensely caring, warm, smart, and funny—but their behavior often drives away those closest to them. If you're struggling in a tumultuous relationship with someone with BPD, this is the book for you. Dr. Shari Manning helps you understand why your spouse, family member, or friend has such out-of-control emotions—and how to change the way you can respond. Learn to use simple yet powerful strategies that can defuse crises, establish better boundaries, and radically transform your relationship. Empathic, hopeful, and science based, this is the first book for family and friends grounded in dialectical behavior therapy (DBT), the most effective treatment for BPD. |
| examples of defensive communication: Mindset Carol S. Dweck, 2007-12-26 From the renowned psychologist who introduced the world to “growth mindset” comes this updated edition of the million-copy bestseller—featuring transformative insights into redefining success, building lifelong resilience, and supercharging self-improvement. “Through clever research studies and engaging writing, Dweck illuminates how our beliefs about our capabilities exert tremendous influence on how we learn and which paths we take in life.”—Bill Gates, GatesNotes “It’s not always the people who start out the smartest who end up the smartest.” After decades of research, world-renowned Stanford University psychologist Carol S. Dweck, Ph.D., discovered a simple but groundbreaking idea: the power of mindset. In this brilliant book, she shows how success in school, work, sports, the arts, and almost every area of human endeavor can be dramatically influenced by how we think about our talents and abilities. People with a fixed mindset—those who believe that abilities are fixed—are less likely to flourish than those with a growth mindset—those who believe that abilities can be developed. Mindset reveals how great parents, teachers, managers, and athletes can put this idea to use to foster outstanding accomplishment. In this edition, Dweck offers new insights into her now famous and broadly embraced concept. She introduces a phenomenon she calls false growth mindset and guides people toward adopting a deeper, truer growth mindset. She also expands the mindset concept beyond the individual, applying it to the cultures of groups and organizations. With the right mindset, you can motivate those you lead, teach, and love—to transform their lives and your own. |
| examples of defensive communication: Couple Skills Matthew McKay, Patrick Fanning, Kim Paleg, 2006-12-01 Love takes work, but, when it comes to relationships, it pays to work smarter. Couple Skills, Second Edition, revised and updated from the therapist-recommended classic, will show you how to work smarter in your relationship. You'll learn to improve communication, cope better with problems, and resolve conflicts with the one you love in healthy and creative ways. Each chapter teaches you an essential skill that supports greater relationship satisfaction and deeper intimacy. New to this edition is a chapter on using acceptance skills, developed from the revolutionary new acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT). These new approaches will help you to accept your partner's feelings (and your own emotions) without judgment. Using these techniques will help you decide what you really value in your relationship and then commit to acting in ways that further those values every day. |
| examples of defensive communication: Violent Emotions Suzanne M. Retzinger, 1991-06-28 Broken family bonds can be one of the most intense sources of conflict. This book - which provides vital insights into the dynamics of family and other forms of violence - explores the damage caused to familial and social bonds by escalating feelings of shame during marital quarrels. Theories and research from large-scale conflict, marital dispute and communication processes are reviewed and provide a background for Retzinger's new integrative theory, which focuses on social bonds. The theory is applied to four case studies of marital quarrels in order to advance understanding of the escalation and resolution of conflict. The book includes a description of an intensive case study method for analyzing discourse and provides |
| examples of defensive communication: Skilled Incompetence Chris Argyris, Harvard University. Harvard Business Review, 1986-01-01 |
| examples of defensive communication: Organizational Traps Chris Argyris, 2010-04-29 Anyone who has spent time in an organization knows that dysfunctional behavior abounds. Conflict is frequently avoided or pushed underground rather than dealt with openly. At the same time, the same arguments often burst out again and again, almost verbatim. Turf battles continue for extended periods without resolution. People nod their heads in agreement in meetings, and then rush out of the room to voice complaints to sympathetic ears in private. Worst of all, when people are asked if things will ever change, they throw up their hands in despair. They feel like victims trapped in an asylum. And people often are trapped. But they are not trapped by some oppressive regime or organizational structure that has been imposed on them. They are not victims. In fact, people themselves are responsible for making the status quo so resistant to change. We are trapped by our own behavior. Researchers and practitioners have often reflected on these things, but there is a puzzle. On the one hand, there is substantial agreement that these traps are counterproductive to effective performance. On the other hand, there is almost no focus on how organizational traps can be prevented or reduced. This book argues that whatever theory is used to describe and understand such organizational traps should be used to design and implement interventions that reduce and prevent them. Argyris is one of the world's leading management scholars whose work has consistently shed light on orgainzational problems. This book is essential reading for MBAs, managers, and consultants. |
| examples of defensive communication: The Practice of Argumentation David Zarefsky, 2019-09-19 Explores how we justify our beliefs - and try to influence those of others - both soundly and effectively. |
| examples of defensive communication: How to Communicate Matthew McKay, Martha Davis, Patrick Fanning, 2009 |
Examples - Apache ECharts
Apache ECharts，一款基于JavaScript的数据可视化图表库，提供直观，生动，可交互，可个性化定制的数据可视化图表。
Examples - Apache ECharts
Examples; Resources. Spread Sheet Tool; Theme Builder; Cheat Sheet; More Resources; Community. Events; …
Examples - Apache ECharts
Examples; Resources. Spread Sheet Tool; Theme Builder; Cheat Sheet; More Resources; Community. Events; Committers; Mailing List; How to Contribute; Dependencies; Code …
Apache ECharts
ECharts: A Declarative Framework for Rapid Construction of Web-based Visualization. 如果您在科研项目、产品、学术论文、技术报告、新闻报告、教育、专利以及其他相关活动中使用了 Apache …
Events - Apache ECharts
Examples; Resources. Spread Sheet Tool; Theme Builder; Cheat Sheet; More Resources; Community. Events; …
Examples - Apache ECharts
Apache ECharts，一款基于JavaScript的数据可视化图表库，提供直观，生动，可交互，可个性化定制的数据可视化图表。
Examples - Apache ECharts
Examples; Resources. Spread Sheet Tool; Theme Builder; Cheat Sheet; More Resources; Community. Events; Committers; Mailing List; How to Contribute; Dependencies; Code …
Examples - Apache ECharts
Examples; Resources. Spread Sheet Tool; Theme Builder; Cheat Sheet; More Resources; Community. Events; Committers; Mailing List; How to Contribute; Dependencies; Code …
Apache ECharts
ECharts: A Declarative Framework for Rapid Construction of Web-based Visualization. 如果您在科研项目、产品、学术论文、技术报告、新闻报告、教育、专利以及其他相关活动中使用了 …
Events - Apache ECharts
Examples; Resources. Spread Sheet Tool; Theme Builder; Cheat Sheet; More Resources; Community. Events; Committers; Mailing List; How to Contribute; Dependencies; Code …
Examples - Apache ECharts
Apache ECharts，一款基于JavaScript的数据可视化图表库，提供直观，生动，可交互，可个性化定制的数据可视化图表。
Examples - Apache ECharts
Examples; Resources. Spread Sheet Tool; Theme Builder; Cheat Sheet; More Resources; Community. Events; Committers; Mailing List; How to Contribute; Dependencies; Code …
Examples - Apache ECharts
Examples; Resources. Spread Sheet Tool; Theme Builder; Cheat Sheet; More Resources; Community. Events; Committers; Mailing List; How to Contribute; Dependencies; Code …
Apache ECharts
ECharts: A Declarative Framework for Rapid Construction of Web-based Visualization. 如果您在科研项目、产品、学术论文、技术报告、新闻报告、教育、专利以及其他相关活动中使用了 …
Events - Apache ECharts
Examples; Resources. Spread Sheet Tool; Theme Builder; Cheat Sheet; More Resources; Community. Events; Committers; Mailing List; How to Contribute; Dependencies; Code …
Examples - Apache ECharts
Apache ECharts，一款基于JavaScript的数据可视化图表库，提供直观，生动，可交互，可个性化定制的数据可 …
Examples - Apache ECharts
Examples; Resources. Spread Sheet Tool; Theme Builder; Cheat Sheet; …
Examples - Apache ECharts
Examples; Resources. Spread Sheet Tool; Theme Builder; Cheat Sheet; More Resources; Community. Events; Committers; …
Apache ECharts
ECharts: A Declarative Framework for Rapid Construction of Web-based Visualization. 如果您在科研项目、产品、学术论文 …
Events - Apache ECharts
Examples; Resources. Spread Sheet Tool; Theme Builder; Cheat Sheet; …
