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| do couples therapy work: Marriage Fitness Mort Fertel, 2004 Revolutionary step by step system marriage success. |
| do couples therapy work: The 15-Minute Relationship Fix Joel D. Block, 2018 Each of us longs to be loved and accepted for the person we truly are. There is no better opportunity than our love relationship for us to be fully ourselves. Ironically, since our partner is so central to our life, his or her validation becomes critical and we are inclined to hide our true self. |
| do couples therapy work: The Good Marriage: How and Why Love Lasts Judith Wallerstein, 2019-08-09 When it first appeared in 1995, The Good Marriage became a best-seller. It offers timeless clues to the secret of happy, long-lasting marriages. Based on a groundbreaking study of fifty couples who consider themselves happily married, psychologist Judith Wallerstein presents the four basic types of marriage — romantic, rescue, companionate, and traditional — and identifies nine developmental tasks that must be successfully undertaken in a “good marriage” — separation from the family of origin, up-and-down vicissitudes of early years, children, balance of work and home, dealing with infidelities, and more. The men and women Wallerstein interviewed readily admit that even the best relationship requires hard work and continuing negotiation, especially in the midst of societal pressures that can tear marriages apart. But they also convey an inspirational message, for almost all of them feel that their marriage is their single greatest accomplishment. The Good Marriage explains why, and its lively mix of storytelling and analysis will challenge every couple to think in a profoundly different way about the most important relationship in their lives. “Should be required reading for all who are interested in marriage.” — W. Walter Menninger “Should prove a lifesaver for many couples.” — Publishers Weekly “Will enrich the sparse literature on happy marriages.” — USA Today “One of the nice things about The Good Marriage is its modesty. It doesn’t pretend to offer a philosophy or even a lecture on marriage. It takes no position on the ideologically charged issues of women’s marital roles and status. Equally important, it ignores the two most common ways of talking about marriage — as a contract negotiated between two equal parties and as the pathway to individual fulfillment. For this reason it is refreshingly free of ‘rights’ talk and therapy talk. Indeed, Wallerstein places much more emphasis on the development of good judgment and a moral sense than on the acquisition of effective communication or negotiation skills.” — Barbara Dafoe Whitehead, The Atlantic “A lagniappe to enduring couplehood... The strength of this study is that Ms. Wallerstein, a gifted interviewer, persuades the couples to reveal their interior lives in rich, explicit detail.” — Susan Jacoby, The New York Times Book Review “Written in a masterful style that often reads like the best popular fiction... Wallerstein and Blakeslee again combine their substantial talents... deftly and entertainingly exploring the foundations of good marriages.” — Tara Aronson, San Francisco Examiner & Chronicle “Groundbreaking.” — Boston Globe “This is a wonderfully readable and immensely valuable book, full of wise and original insights about the many, many roads to marital happiness.” — Judith Viorst “With wisdom, humor, and sympathetic understanding, Judith Wallerstein helps us recognize and rediscover the good marriage... lucid, psychologically sophisticated, and generously wise.” — David Blankenhorn, Newsday “Historically informative as well as profoundly wise psychologically.” — Joan M. Erikson “For a long time, as a Rabbi, I’ve been using The Good Marriage, by the late Judith Wallerstein... in my pre-marital counseling. She provides... amazingly helpful insights [which] open up conversations and lead couples to think much more deeply about what they are getting themselves into — and what they might need to do to keep their marriages strong.” — Rabbi Carl M. Perkins “A welcome addition to the field of literature on contemporary marriage... The style [is] clear, concise, sensitive and, occasionally, personal. Her personal additions... add warmth, emotional consciousness, and greater insight into what makes individuals and couples happy in their relationships. This book has value for the many audiences interested in relational theory that want to approach relationships from a realistic and positive perspective.” — Nancy Williford, Clinical Social Work Journal “In The Good Marriage, Wallerstein’s new study of 50 married couples offers affirmation that the process of marriage itself presents a vehicle for transformation... A best-selling author, Wallerstein employs a thoughtful, nonaggressive style that appeals to the general public. Wallerstein has performed an invaluable service in The Good Marriage.” — Elizabeth M. Tully, M.D., Journal of Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry “Solid... impressive... Those interested in social policy should be pleased that so well-respected a liberal academic as Ms. Wallerstein has written a book that celebrates marriage and points the way toward restructuring it.” — Wall Street Journal “With extraordinary skill and compassion Wallerstein and Blakeslee take us inside the lives of fifty American couples and find that a good marriage still provides the best framework for enduring love and intimacy.” — Sylvia Ann Hewlett “A very appealing book... clearly written and clearly thought out.” — Library Journal “Wallerstein’s major contribution is not about how and why love lasts, but about how and why love develops. It is in such a context, less idyllic, but more realistic, that the book will prove to be a lasting contribution.” — Readings: A Journal of Reviews and Commentary in Mental Health |
| do couples therapy work: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work John Gottman, PhD, Nan Silver, 2015-05-05 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Over a million copies sold! “An eminently practical guide to an emotionally intelligent—and long-lasting—marriage.”—Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work has revolutionized the way we understand, repair, and strengthen marriages. John Gottman’s unprecedented study of couples over a period of years has allowed him to observe the habits that can make—and break—a marriage. Here is the culmination of that work: the seven principles that guide couples on a path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward yet profound, these principles teach partners new approaches for resolving conflicts, creating new common ground, and achieving greater levels of intimacy. Gottman offers strategies and resources to help couples collaborate more effectively to resolve any problem, whether dealing with issues related to sex, money, religion, work, family, or anything else. Packed with new exercises and the latest research out of the esteemed Gottman Institute, this revised edition of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential. |
| do couples therapy work: Marriage That Works Chip Ingram, 2019-02-05 When it comes to marriage these days, anything goes. No wonder you can find a book on marriage from every perspective--or no perspective. How can you experience a great marriage that lasts? What works? This book answers that question by shining a light on the biblical design for marriage. In a world of sexual and relational confusion, isn't it time to consult the One who created marriage? Author and pastor Chip Ingram, with his characteristic compassion, transparency, and engaging storytelling, discusses - what marriage really is - the biblical model - a man's unique role in marriage - a woman's unique role in marriage - the bigger picture of why God created marriage A marriage that works, says Ingram, is more wonderful than you thought possible and harder than you imagined--but worth the work. Couples will learn the power of making a covenant with their spouse and fulfilling their design in an atmosphere of respect, resulting in the spiritual, psychological, emotional, and physical oneness they long to have with each other. |
| do couples therapy work: The Divorce Remedy Michele Weiner Davis, 2002-09-04 Provides advice for couples contemplating divorce who still hope to save their marriages, and suggests ways to deal with infidelity, depression, a midlife crisis, sexual problems, and other common issues. |
| do couples therapy work: Projective Identification and Psychotherapeutic Technique Thomas H. Ogden, 1982 An examination of projective identification and its clinical uses from a Kleinian perspective. The author puts forward the hypothesis that identification is the patient's way of mastering significant trauma. |
| do couples therapy work: Couples Therapy Workbook Kathleen Mates-Youngman, LMFT, 2014-10-01 Couples Therapy Workbook is a series of guided questions to promote meaningful couple conversations and build ongoing, connected communication. The core of this unique guide is 30 guided conversations of the most critical relationship struggles. For each of the 30 topics, there is an introduction, goal-setting strategies and 10 scripted questions to ask each other - all presented in an easy-to-use mindful style. Set in a weekly format over 30 days but can be tailored to any timeframe. Designed to be used to couples, and also by therapists working with couples (bonus clinician prep included with each conversation). Week 1- Who Are We? Falling in Love, Friendship, Caring, Acceptance, Empathy, Emotional Intimacy, Rituals Week 2 - Who Am I? Childhood, Family Origin, Temperament, Influences, Spirituality, Values, How I Think Week 3- How do we work? Communication, Conflict, Defensiveness, Intimacy, Trust, Fidelity and Boundaries, Parenting, Staying in Sync Week 4 - What do we want? Romance, Joy and Gratitude, respect, Apologies and Forgiveness, Challenges, Relationship Savings Account, Past, Present & Future, Keeping Connected Reviews: “What a unique resource! A treasure-trove of guided conversations to increase intimacy and friendship. Therapists often ask me for good homework assignments. This book does the thinking for you. Keep it on hand and whether its values, sex, conflict or other challenging issues, you'll have a ready-made way to help your clients make immediate progress.” -- Ellyn Bader, Ph.D, Founder/Director The Couples Institute This is a valuable resource for anyone working with couples. Any couple can profit greatly if they are willing to take Kathleen Youngman's challenge to explore these important topics and discuss these wonderful questions. -- Milan and Kay Yerkovich, Authors of best-selling How We Love series “Instead of offering analysis, advice or theory, The Couples Therapy Workbook offers just that, a set of questions to stimulate conversations that help couples deepen their engagement with each other and reconnect. All couples will find this an exceptional guide, and all therapists will find it an effective instrument to supplement the therapeutic process. I highly recommend it and complement the author on her creativity and attention to the core details of a connected relationship.” --Harville Hendrix, Ph. D. and Helen LaKelly Hunt, Ph. D.; Authors of Making Marriage Simple and Getting the Love You Want. |
| do couples therapy work: In Quest of the Mythical Mate Ellyn Bader, Peter Pearson, 2013-05-13 In Quest of the Mythical Mate presents a valuable and fertile developmental model for diagnosing and treating couples that is flexible enough to incorporate a wide variety of intervention strategies, yet purposeful enough to give a clear sense of direction to couples in distress. As such, this volume provides a powerful therapeutic approach for all professionals who treat couples. |
| do couples therapy work: Techniques for the Couple Therapist Gerald R. Weeks, Stephen T. Fife, Colleen M. Peterson, 2016-03-22 Techniques for the Couple Therapist features many of the most prominent psychotherapists today, presenting their most effective couple therapy interventions. This book provides clinicians with a user-friendly quick reference with an array of techniques that can be quickly read and immediately used in session. The book includes over 50 chapters by experts in the field on the fundamental principles and techniques for effective couple therapy. Many of the techniques focus on common couple therapy processes such as enactments, communication, and reframing. Others focus on specific presenting problems, such as trauma, sexual issues, infidelity, intimate partner violence, and high conflict. Students, beginning therapists, and seasoned clinicians will find this pragmatic resource invaluable in their work with couples. |
| do couples therapy work: Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy For Dummies Brent Bradley, James Furrow, 2013-07-15 A practical, down-to-earth guide to using the world's most successful approach to couple therapy One of the most successful therapeutic approaches to healing dysfunctional relationships, emotionally focused couple therapy provides clients with powerful insights into how and why they may be suppressing their emotions and teaches them practical ways to deal with those feelings more constructively for improved relationships. Unlike cognitive-behavioural therapy, which provides effective short-term coping skills, emotionally focused therapy often is prescribed as a second-stage treatment for couples with lingering emotional difficulties. Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy For Dummies introduces readers to this ground-breaking therapy, offering simple, proven strategies and tools for dealing with problems with bonding, attachment and emotions, the universal cornerstones of healthy relationships. An indispensable resource for readers who would like to manage their relationship problems independently through home study Delivers powerful techniques for dealing with unpleasant emotions, rather than repressing them and for responding constructively to complex relationship issues The perfect introduction to EFT basics for therapists considering expanding their practices to include emotionally focused therapy methods Packed with fascinating and instructive case studies and examples of EFT in action, from the authors' case files Provides valuable guidance on finding, selecting and working with the right EFT certified therapist |
| do couples therapy work: The Heart of Couple Therapy Ellen F. Wachtel, 2016-11-25 Grounded in a deep understanding of what makes intimate relationships succeed, this book provides concrete guidelines for addressing the complexities of real-world clinical practice with couples. Leading couple therapist Ellen Wachtel describes the principles of therapeutic intervention that motivate couples to alter entrenched patterns, build on strengths, and navigate the ?legacy? issues that each person brings to the relationship. She illuminates the often unrecognized choices that therapists face throughout the session and deftly explicates their implications. The epilogue by Paul Wachtel situates the author's pragmatic approach in the broader context of contemporary psychotherapy theory and research. |
| do couples therapy work: Foundations for Couples' Therapy Jennifer Fitzgerald, 2017-02-03 As a quality resource that examines the psychological, neurobiological, cultural, and spiritual considerations that undergird optimal couple care, Foundations for Couples’ Therapy teaches readers to conduct sensitive and comprehensive therapy with a diverse range of couples. Experts from social work, clinical psychotherapy, neuroscience, social psychology, and health respond to one of seven central case examples to help readers understand the dynamics within each partner, as well as within the couple as a system and within a broader cultural context. Presented within a Problem-Based Learning approach (PBL), these cases ground the text in clinical reality. Contributors cover critical and emerging topics like cybersex, emotional well-being, forgiveness, military couples, developmental trauma, and more, making it a must-have for practitioners as well as graduate students. |
| do couples therapy work: Psychotherapy Supervision Maria Gilbert, Kenneth Evans, 2000-12-16 ...Maria Gilbert and Ken Evans have given us a beautifully written and richly illustrated account of psychotherapy supervision...Providing clear guidelines for effective clinical supervision, the book describes and vividly illustrates how the supervisor monitors, instructs, models, consults and supports the supervisee, all within the context of respect and empathy. - Marvin R. Goldfried, Ph.D. State University of New York at Stony Brook, Stony Brook , New York, USA ...Don't read this book if you have a well-worked-out, pre-determined model of supervision that you don't want to change...it will only disturb, distract and challenge you. If you would like to review your model of supervision, on the other hand, update it in the light of modern scholarship and insights, open it to 'manufactured uncertainty' so as to adapt it to the contemporary issues of the day, then it's a 'must' for you. It's a book of tomorrow in the light of the best of yesterday and indisputably for today. - Michael Carroll, Ph.D. Chartered Counselling Psychologist and BAC Fellow ...Gilbert and Evans' book is sure to become a key text in the area of psychotherapy supervision from an integrative perspective...the authors reveal an extensive knowledge of the work of other experts in the field and a deep understanding of how this knowledge may be translated into practice...Gilbert and Evans draw much needed attention to the often neglected aspect of the contexts within which supervision takes place. Their focus on the multi-cultural aspects of supervision and their advocacy for anti-oppressive practices is of note...very accessible and highly recommended to beginning supervisees and seasoned supervisors alike. This book will make a substantial contribution to the field for a long time to come. - Gillian Straker, Professor of Psychology at the University of Sydney What are the primary goals of clinical supervision ? What is the basis for ethical decision making in supervision ? How can anti-oppressive practice be embedded in the training of supervisors ? This book presents an integrative relational model for psychotherapy supervision. The focus is on the primacy of the relationship both in psychotherapy and in supervision. This is one of the few books in the field of supervision to focus exclusively and in-depth on issues in clinical supervision. It provides an integrative relational model of supervision drawing on developmental theory that is applicable to the fields of psychotherapy, counselling, and clinical and counselling psychology. The authors believe that this integrative framework for supervision will be of use to supervisors of 'pure-form' approaches as well as to those supervisors involved in cross-orientation supervision since its main focus is on the quality of the supervisory alliance. Psychotherapy Supervision contains a balance of theoretical material, examples of in vivo supervision and a discussion of techniques. The book presents some interesting and innovative material on ethical decision making and on anti-oppressive practice in training organisations. The authors illustrate their material with frequent examples of supervision from their own practice to show the reader the model in action. The book is aimed at supervisors of counsellors, psychotherapists and psychologists at all levels. |
| do couples therapy work: Infidelity Paul R. Peluso, 2007-06-15 When one partner in a relationship is unfaithful to the other, it takes a lot of work by both parties involved to salvage the relationship. In today’s therapy-friendly climate, marriage/couples counseling is often a part of that rebuilding process. Many couples seek out professional therapy after an affair is out in the open, but often the act of infidelity is revealed while uncovering and discussing unrelated issues for which the couple is in counseling. And yet, amazingly, as common as this complex and difficult topic arises in therapy, there is relatively little professional literature devoted to understanding and treating infidelity. In this volume, Paul Peluso has assembled a truly impressive list of contributors from a range of disciplines and backgrounds, including marital therapy, family therapy, evolutionary psychology, marriage research, and cyberstudies, with the aim of filling this void. |
| do couples therapy work: Clinical Casebook of Couple Therapy Alan S. Gurman, 2012-11-26 An ideal supplemental text, this instructive casebook presents in-depth illustrations of treatment based on the most important couple therapy models. An array of leading clinicians offer a window onto how they work with clients grappling with mild and more serious clinical concerns, including conflicts surrounding intimacy, sex, power, and communication; parenting issues; and mental illness. Featuring couples of varying ages, cultural backgrounds, and sexual orientations, the cases shed light on both what works and what doesn't work when treating intimate partners. Each candid case presentation includes engaging comments and discussion questions from the editor. See also Clinical Handbook of Couple Therapy, Fourth Edition, also edited by Alan S. Gurman, which provides an authoritative overview of theory and practice. |
| do couples therapy work: 10 Principles for Doing Effective Couples Therapy (Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology) Julie Schwartz Gottman, John M. Gottman, 2015-10-26 From the country’s leading couple therapist duo, a practical guide to what makes it all work. In 10 Principles for Doing Effective Couples Therapy, two of the world’s leading couple researchers and therapists give readers an inside tour of what goes on inside the consulting rooms of their practice. They have been doing couples work for decades and still find it challenging and full of learning experiences. This book distills the knowledge they've gained over their years of practice into ten principles at the core of good couples work. Each principle is illustrated with a clinically compiled case plus personal side-notes and storytelling. Topics addressed include: • You know that you need to “treat the relationship,” but how are you supposed to get at something as elusive as “a relationship”? • How do you empathize with both clients if they have opposite points of view? Later on, if they end up separating does that mean you’ve failed? Are you only successful if you keep couples together? • Compared to an individual client, a relationship is an entirely different animal. What should you do first? What should you look for? What questions should you ask? If clients give different answers, who should you believe? • What are you supposed to do with all the emotional and personal history that your clients stir up in you? • How can you make your work research-based? No one who works with couples will want to be without the insight, guidance, and strategies offered in this book. |
| do couples therapy work: No Cheating, No Dying Elizabeth Weil, 2012-02-07 Written with charm and wit, No Cheating, No Dying investigates one of the most universal human institutions—marriage. Elizabeth Weil and her husband Dan have two basic ground rules for their marriage: no cheating, no dying. For ten years it’s worked fine, but Elizabeth started to wonder if it could be better. Elizabeth Weil believes that you don’t get married in a white dress, in front of all your future in-laws and ex-boyfriends but gradually, over time, through all the road rage incidents and pre-colonoscopy enemas, good and bad dinners, and all the small moments you never expected to happen or much less endure. In this book, Weil examines the major universal marriage issues—sex, money, mental health, in-laws, children—through bravely recounting her own hilarious, messy, and sometimes difficult relationship. She seeks out the advice of financial planners, psychoanalysts, therapists, household management consultants, priests, rabbis, and the United States government. Woven into this funny and forthright narrative is Weil's extensive research on marriage and marriage improvement. The result is an illuminating and entertaining read that is a fresh addition to the body of literature about marriage. |
| do couples therapy work: What Makes Love Last? John Gottman, John Mordechai Gottman, Nan Silver, 2013-09-10 One of the foremost relationship experts at work today offers creative insight on building trust and avoiding betrayal, helping readers to decode the mysteries of healthy love and relationships-- |
| do couples therapy work: The Remarriage Manual Terry Gaspard, MSW, LICSW, 2020-02-18 The 10 Keys to a Successful Remarriage Winner of the 2022 Independent Publisher Book Award in Gold for Self Help Winner of American Book Fest’s 2020 Best Book Award in “Self-Help: Relationships” Based on the author’s personal experience, over 30 years of clinical practice, knowledge from leading marriage and remarriage researchers, and 100 in-depth interviews of remarried people, The Remarriage Manual offers 10 essential keys to a successful remarriage: Build a Culture of Appreciation, Respect, and Tolerance. Negativity is toxic. Personal growth and love are possible when you can express appreciation through positive words and actions. Make Your Remarriage a Top Priority. Never underestimate the power of intentional time with your partner to increase physical and emotional intimacy. Ditch the Baggage from Your First Marriage. Learn ways to be more reflective and less reactive to triggers that hit raw spots or vulnerabilities stemming from prior relationships. Don’t Keep Secrets about Money. Remarried couples face complicated financial issues such as unequal assets, child support, alimony, and education costs for children and stepchildren. Honesty and full disclosure about finances are essential. Don’t Let Mistrust Stop You from Being Vulnerable and Emotionally Intimate. Learn that vulnerability and trust go hand in hand and the steps you can take to be authentic and intimate with your partner so you can achieve long-lasting love. Get Sexy and Fall in Love All Over Again. Given the stressors of a second marriage, it can be particularly challenging to stay sexually intimate. Yet moments of connection, such as touching, talking, or making love, are all part of the glue that holds a second marriage together. Don’t Make a Big Deal about Nothing . . . but Do Deal with Important Issues. Differences in beliefs, expectations, and conversational styles can cause you to blow things out of proportion and tune each other out. Effective communication will help you overcome these types of misunderstandings. Manage the Flames of Conflict. You can’t avoid disagreements entirely. What you can do, however, is learn how to manage them successfully to avoid the “blame game” so that they can nourish rather than drain your remarriage. Embrace Your Role as a Stepparent and Create Positive Stepfamily Memories. There is no such thing as instant love in a stepfamily. When biological parents are involved, the relationships can get even trickier. Learn to adjust to your role as a stepparent—the chances of a second marriage succeeding go way up when both partners adopt an attitude of “we’re in this together.” Say You’re Sorry and Mean It. Studies show that apologizing to your partner for hurting their feelings and granting forgiveness are crucial to the success of a second marriage. It’s essential that remarried couples learn the value of sincere apologies and forgiveness. Drawing on the experiences of dozens of couples and remarriage scenarios, Terry Gaspard shows you how to bring each key home and set up your relationship for lasting success. Whether you are thinking of remarrying and concerned about going the distance or are already remarried and struggling, The Remarriage Manual provides the expert advice, practical tools, hope, and inspiration you need to prevent challenges from becoming deal breakers. The 10 keys provided here will help put you and your spouse on solid footing; keep the flame between you burning bright; and build a deeply trusting, loving, and sustainable connection for the long haul. |
| do couples therapy work: The 72 Hour Rule Margot Brown, 2011 The 72 Hour Rule focuses on helping adult individuals and couples to communicate more effectively. This book helps the reader identify their own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Then, the reader is guided through a series of topics, and real-time stories and exercises that will help them achieve successful communication with their partner. This book provides easy-to-use step-by-step exercises to help couples improve their relationship. This book examines substance abuse, violence, mental illness, unemployment, family dynamics, and affairs as topics of discussion, and is a breakthrough for all partners who avoid couples therapy or who have had a previous negative counseling experience. This book is based on both research and experience. Read this book as a couple together; integrate new communication tools into your relationship. The 72 Hour Rule is a simple and effective guideline to a more caring and connected partnership. |
| do couples therapy work: Eight Dates John Schwartz Gottman, Julie Schwartz Gottman, Rachel Abrams, Doug Abrams, 2019-07-04 What really makes a relationship work? How can we stay interested in our partner for ever? How can we be happier in our marriage? Doctors John and Julie Gottman have spent over three decades studying the habits of 3000 couples. Within 10 minutes of meeting a couple, they can predict who will stay happily together or who will split up, with 94% accuracy. Based on their findings on the ingredients to a happy, lasting love life, they have now created an easy series of eight dates, spanning: - commitment & trust - conflict resolution - intimacy & sex - fun & adventure - work & money - family values - growth & spirituality - goals & aspirations Eight Dates draws on rigorous scientific and psychological research about how we fall in love using case studies of real-life couples whose relationships have improved after committing time to each other and following the dates. Full of innovative exercises and conversation starters to explore ways to deepen each aspect of the relationship, Eight Dates is an essential resource that makes a relationship fulfilling. 'Can a marriage really be understood? Yes it can. Gottman shows us how' Malcolm Gladwell, author of Blink |
| do couples therapy work: I Want This to Work Elizabeth Earnshaw, 2023-06-13 A contemporary, culturally inclusive, and easy-to-digest relationship book for the modern age Today’s generation is changing the rules about committed relationships—and looking to create more meaning within their lives. We are more selective before getting married, with more diverse families and family structures, and we’ve seen a significant drop in divorce rates. In this new environment, what couples need more than ever are effective, flexible tools to communicate, navigate hard times, and create deeper connections with each other. Renowned Gottman therapist Elizabeth Earnshaw has helped to transform countless relationships. With I Want This to Work, she presents her most timely and proven steps for relationship success. “We’re in a cultural moment,” she says, “where people are hungry to absorb the principles for healthy relationships. This book answers that call.” Here, couples will learn how to work with the three challenges they must tackle to repair and strengthen their relationships: conflict, healing, and connection. In a supportive and relatable voice, Elizabeth simplifies complex concepts and provides core insights, exercises, and reflections to take these tested principles from the page and into real life. Culturally tuned in, LGBTQIA+ friendly, and written for both married and unmarried couples, this new paperback edition of I Want This to Work brings us an accessible guide to relationship healing and creating enduring intimacy. |
| do couples therapy work: Couples Counseling Marina Iandoli Williams Lmhc, Marina Williams, 2012-05-14 A session by session guide book for mental health practitioners on how to conduct evidence-based couples counseling. The book guides the therapist step by step through twelve sessions, and covers everything from the very first client phone call all the way through termination. |
| do couples therapy work: Betrayal Trauma Recovery Anne Blythe, 2019-05-05 A daily journal for women wondering if their husband's behavior is abusive. For women trying to determine if they should leave or stay. To help women decide if they want to divorce. A daily journal to help victims understand the reality and severity of their situation. For women who are considering separation or divorce due to their husband's lying, gaslighting, infidelity, emotional abuse, narcissistic behaviors. Visit btr.org for more information, and listen to the Betrayal Trauma Recovery podcast found on iTunes, Google Play, Spotify and other podcasting platforms. |
| do couples therapy work: True Love Dates Debra K. Fileta, 2013-10-08 It is possible to find true love through dating. In True Love Dates, Debra Fileta encourages singles not to kiss dating goodbye but instead to experience a season of dating as a way to find real love. Through powerful, real-life stories and Fileta's personal journey, this book offers profound insights from the expertise of a professional counselor. Christians are looking for answers to finding true love. They are disillusioned with the church that has provided little practical application in the area of love and relationships. They're bombarded by Christian books that shun dating, idolize courting, fixate on spirituality, and in the end, offer little real relationship help. True Love Dates provides honest help for dating by providing a guide into vital relationship essentials. Debra is a professional Christian counselor who reaches millions with her popular blog, Truelovedates.com, and her book offers sound advice grounded in Christian spirituality. She delivers insight, direction, and counsel when it comes to entering the world of dating and learning to do it right the first time around. Drawing on the stories and struggles of hundreds of young men and women who have pursued the search for true love, Fileta helps readers bypass unnecessary pain while focusing on the things that really matter in the world of dating. |
| do couples therapy work: The Dance of Anger Harriet Lerner, 2014-03-25 The renowned classic and New York Times bestseller that has transformed the lives of millions of readers, dramatically changing how women and men view relationships. Anger is something we feel. It exists for a reason and always deserves our respect and attention. We all have a right to everything we feel—and certainly our anger is no exception. Anger is a signal and one worth listening to, writes Dr. Harriet Lerner in her renowned classic that has transformed the lives of millions of readers. While anger deserves our attention and respect, women still learn to silence our anger, to deny it entirely, or to vent it in a way that leaves us feeling helpless and powerless. In this engaging and eminently wise book, Dr. Lerner teaches both women and men to identify the true sources of anger and to use it as a powerful vehicle for creating lasting change. For decades, this book has helped millions of readers learn how to turn their anger into a constructive force for reshaping their lives. With a new introduction by the author, The Dance of Anger is ready to lead the next generation. |
| do couples therapy work: The Five Love Languages Gary Chapman, 2009-12-17 Marriage should be based on love, right? But does it seem as though you and your spouse are speaking two different languages? #1 New York Times bestselling author Dr. Gary Chapman guides couples in identifying, understanding, and speaking their spouse's primary love language-quality time, words of affirmation, gifts, acts of service, or physical touch. By learning the five love languages, you and your spouse will discover your unique love languages and learn practical steps in truly loving each other. Chapters are categorized by love language for easy reference, and each one ends with simple steps to express a specific language to your spouse and guide your marriage in the right direction. A newly designed love languages assessment will help you understand and strengthen your relationship. You can build a lasting, loving marriage together. Gary Chapman hosts a nationally syndicated daily radio program called A Love Language Minute that can be heard on more than 150 radio stations as well as the weekly syndicated program Building Relationships with Gary Chapman, which can both be heard on fivelovelanguages.com. The Five Love Languages is a consistent New York Times bestseller - with over 5 million copies sold and translated into 38 languages. This book is a sales phenomenon, with each year outselling the prior for 16 years running! |
| do couples therapy work: Beyond Messy Relationships Judy K. Herman, 2019-06-04 Discover your true self and find hope beyond your messy relationships! As a mental health therapist, Judy prepares to see her next client. As a wife, she falls apart in the midst of her husband’s psychosis. His inpatient psychiatrist says, “This is going to be a hard case”. Judy’s first marriage of 29 years ended in divorce after toxic patterns of chronic bitterness. Facing the shame of her past and mothering four children, she recognizes divine invitations toward her authentic self. After four years into a new marriage with her beloved dance partner, Judy suddenly faces frightful realities. Can Judy’s second marriage recover from damage caused by his psychosis? Beyond Messy Relationships is not only an intense and dramatic memoir. It’s a mix of psychological wisdom and spiritual inspiration that helps readers make sense of their deep feelings. In Beyond Messy Relationships, readers: Discover they’re not alone as they resonate with the messy relationships of a licensed professional counselor Learn a simple formula of A.I.R. to experience freedom beyond the messes Connect the dots from their past to their present Overcome shame so they can experience the freedom they long for Within Beyond Messy Relationships, readers find hope through the formula of breathing in fresh A.I.R.: Awareness, Intentionality, and Risks and recognize divine invitations beyond the messes. Finding your authentic self is worth the journey. |
| do couples therapy work: The Dance of Intimacy Harriet Lerner, 1990 In The Dance of Intimacy, the bestselling author of The Dance of Anger outlines the steps to take so that good relationships can be strengthened and difficult ones can be healed. Taking a careful look at those relationships where intimacy is most challenged--by distance, intensity, or pain--she teaches us about the specific changes we can make to achieve a more solid sense of self and a more intimate connectedness with others. Combining clear advice with vivid case examples, Dr. Lerner offers us the most solid, helpful book on intimate relationships that both women and men may ever encounter. |
| do couples therapy work: Integrative Behavioral Couple Therapy: A Therapist's Guide to Creating Acceptance and Change, Second Edition Andrew Christensen, Brian D. Doss, Neil S. Jacobson, 2020-09-15 The definitive therapist manual for Integrative Behavioral Couple Therapy (IBCT)—one of the most empirically supported approaches to couple therapy. Andrew Christensen, codeveloper (along with the late Neil Jacobson) of Integrative Behavioral Couple Therapy, and Brian Doss provide an essential manual for their evidence-based practice. The authors offer guidance on formulation, assessment, and feedback of couples’ distress from an IBCT perspective. They also detail techniques to achieve acceptance and deliberate change. In this updated edition of the work, readers learn about innovations to the IBCT approach in the 20+ years since the publication of the original edition—including refinements of core therapeutic techniques. Additionally, this edition provides new guidance on working with diverse couples, complex clinical issues, and integrating technology into a course of treatment. |
| do couples therapy work: Solution Building in Couples Therapy Elliott Connie, MA, LPC, 2012-09-14 This brief volume presents the basic premises of solution building, liberally enriched with examples. This is a remarkable book, the first of its kind, radical in its message, written about couples but also suitable for all manner of referrals.--Choice: Current Reviews for Academic Libraries ìElliott Connie has written a remarkable book. Read it and you will be taken on a journey. If you are new to the world of solution focused brief therapy, beware! This book could capture your heartÖAs Elliott says from the very beginning, solution focused brief therapy is simple, so simple it is really hard to learn. And from this book, if you set out to do so, you could teach yourself how to become a competent solution focused brief therapist. It is all here, laid out clearly, packed with examples from the real world of therapy, repeated and repeated like onion skins, each repetition releasing its own flavour, a variation on a theme, a new understanding of something already known.î Chris Iveson, MA BRIEF London, UK Working with couples presents psychotherapists and counselors with a unique set of challenges, such that many therapists prefer not to work with couples or attempt to avoid it entirely. In the first book written about solution focused therapy (SFT) with couples, author Elliott Connie describes how his use of SFT made working with couples a pleasure rather than a burden. The solution focused approach is one that facilitates cooperation between partners in the creation of an agreed-upon future, rather than merely focusing on the problems that have come to define the relationship. Beginning with a clear explanation of the assumptions and tenets required for the practice of SFT, this book presents a step-by-step breakdown of exactly how to conduct solution building sessions with couples. Each chapter focuses on a different part of the therapeutic process and includes sample dialogues, techniques, and vignettes drawn from the authorís own extensive practice. Readers will feel as though they themselves are going through the therapeutic process with the couples and observing the impact of each step of the process. Numerous exercises and common solution focused questions help readers integrate this new material into their repertoire for immediate use. Key Features: Provides a unique view of couples therapy in action using the solution focused approach Includes actual questions to ask clients, sample dialogues, and sample homework assignments Features examples drawn from actual cases, illustrating techniques used in practice with real couples Presents scales to measure progress and supporting research for the application of solution-focused therapy to couples counseling |
| do couples therapy work: The 24 X 7 Marriage : Small Strategies For Good Beginnigs Vijay Nagaswami, 2014-11-30 Why would an age-old institution require new treatment? Because, says Dr Vijay Nagaswami, it is a fact of modern life that people are foundering even harder in their pursuit of that holy grail of marriage: happiness. In The 24x7 Marriage he points, with skill and humour, to some popularly posed questions - and their somewhat startling solutions - that couples must ideally address before they affix a date to their wedding invitations...or as soon as possible after. In this witty and inspirational book, the first in a Westland series addressing The New Indian Marriage, psychiatrist Vijay Nagaswami shows you the way to your own answers. |
| do couples therapy work: Doing Couple Therapy Tobey Bobes, Barbara Rothman, 2002-04-30 How do couples get beyond the reactivity and blaming that destroy self-esteem and good will? How can couples sort out the multiple layers and complexities in their relationships? Is it possible to move from impasse to dialogue? Here, in one brief volume, are the answers to these questions and many others. Doing Couple Therapy will be a lifesaver for family therapy students and beginning therapists. In a straightforward manner, the authors sift through years of family therapy theory to draw out for readers a a treasury of ways to sort out the many factors, past and present, that crowd couples' relationships. These include family-of-origin issues, previous relationships, secrets, children, in-laws, unresolves lodes, job demands, financial worries—to name just a few. The authors' framework, built from the major influential theories of family and marital therapy, will enable therapists to work effectively and briefly, though not superficially, with couples. The book not only presents theory but also links theory with practice. An extraordinary contribution is the presentation of a typical case from beginning to end, through tender moments, rough spots, family-of-origin work, revelation of deeply held secrets, alcohol abuse, ultimatums, and finally, renewal of commitment to the relationship. This practical, real-life guide to couple therapy will give both students and seasoned therapists a new take on the demanding work of couple therapy. |
| do couples therapy work: Couples Therapy for Domestic Violence Sandra M. Stith, Eric E. McCollum, Karen H. Rosen, 2011 Up to 65% of couples who seek therapy for marital problems have had at least one prior violent episode. Unfortunately, therapists often miss this critical information because they do not effectively assess for it. This book presents a safety-focused approach to assessment and treatment of couples who choose to remain together after one or both partners have been violent. Treatment options for intimate partner violence have evolved alongside the growing awareness and broader definitions of domestic violence. Since 1997 the authors have conducted Domestic Violence Focused Couples Treatment (DVFCT), collected data, and refined their program. The authors outline their assessment and screening process and share case illustrations to demonstrate when conjoint treatment can be a safe and viable option. Readers get an overview of the 18-session course of DVFCT and tips for adapting it for multi-couple groups or for a single couple. The major tenets of solution-focused therapy, such as underscoring even the smallest of successes, are emphasized throughout, as are the following special features: -safety planning -mindfulness techniques for anger awareness and reduction -negotiated time-out procedures -drug and alcohol use modules -psychoeducational tools and materials on violence Therapists will learn how to assess intimate partner violence and help couples eliminate all forms of violence and begin on a positive path toward their vision of a healthy relationship. |
| do couples therapy work: Encyclopedia of Couple and Family Therapy Jay Lebow, Anthony Chambers, Douglas C. Breunlin, 2019-10-08 This authoritative reference assembles prominent international experts from psychology, social work, and counseling to summarize the current state of couple and family therapy knowledge in a clear A-Z format. Its sweeping range of entries covers major concepts, theories, models, approaches, intervention strategies, and prominent contributors associated with couple and family therapy. The Encyclopedia provides family and couple context for treating varied problems and disorders, understanding special client populations, and approaching emerging issues in the field, consolidating this wide array of knowledge into a useful resource for clinicians and therapists across clinical settings, theoretical orientations, and specialties. A sampling of topics included in the Encyclopedia: Acceptance versus behavior change in couple and family therapy Collaborative and dialogic therapy with couples and families Integrative treatment for infidelity Live supervision in couple and family therapy Postmodern approaches in the use of genograms Split alliance in couple and family therapy Transgender couples and families The first comprehensive reference work of its kind, the Encyclopedia of Couple and Family Therapy incorporates seven decades of innovative developments in the fields of couple and family therapy into one convenient resource. It is a definitive reference for therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists, social workers, and counselors, whether couple and family therapy is their main field or one of many modalities used in practice. |
| do couples therapy work: Mating in Captivity Esther Perel, 2012-02-16 When you love someone, how does it feel? And when you desire someone, how is it different? In Mating in Captivity, Esther Perel looks at the story of sex in committed couples. Modern romance promises it all - a lifetime of togetherness, intimacy and erotic desire. In reality, it's hard to want what you already have. Our quest for secure love conflicts with our pursuit of passion. And often, the very thing that got us to into our relationships - lust - is the one thing that goes missing from them. Determined to reconcile the erotic and the domestic, Perel explains why democracy is a passion killer in the bedroom. Argues for playfulness, distance, and uncertainty. And shows what it takes to bring lust home. Smart, sexy and explosively original, Mating in Captivity is the monogamist's essential bedside read. |
| do couples therapy work: Short-Term Couples Therapy Wade Luquet, 2006-11-06 For more than a decade, Short-Term Couples Therapy: The Imago Model in Action has been used regularly by therapists interested in this effective and now well-known model of working with couples. Building on the precepts of the Imago Relationship Therapy Model, as introduced in the pioneering work of Dr. Harville Hendrix, the book has made available to the professional therapist the technique and rationale of this evolutionary approach to working with couples in a brief therapy context. Now thoroughly revised and updated, Short-Term Couples Therapy offers a user-friendly, six-session format, laid out clearly and cogently, whose potential for application is immediately apparent. The essence of the Imago Model is distilled into a practical, workable methodology. The text presents a unique reality-based approach to facilitate effective couple interaction, updates the processes and theory that have proven so effective in the short-term approach to couples therapy, and incorporates the major advances in the practice of Imago Relationship Therapy. |
| do couples therapy work: From Conflict To Resolution Susan Heitler, 1993 In a dramatic theoretical breakthrough, psychologist Susan M. Heitler unties various schools of therapy with a powerful insight. Emotional healing depends on movement from conflict to resolution, as the title suggests. |
| do couples therapy work: Understanding and Lifting Depression Without Drugs Joe Griffin, Ivan Tyrrell, 2005 |
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Should I Do Couples Therapy (Download Only)
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Work toward reconciliaon (if appropriate). Many couples struggle with the decision to forgive because they know they have the “right” to be angry. Consciously choosing to forgive means …
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or “above all do no harm.” This obligation re-quires that one not cause intentional harm or act in a way that risks causing harm. Although marital therapy does not entail the same risks as …
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Gestalt couples therapy Friedemann Schulz Received 16 May 2017 Abstract: Couples therapy is often described as a more active, or even as a more directive form of psychotherapy, and is …
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