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| four horsemen of communication: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work John Gottman, PhD, Nan Silver, 2015-05-05 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • Over a million copies sold! “An eminently practical guide to an emotionally intelligent—and long-lasting—marriage.”—Daniel Goleman, author of Emotional Intelligence The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work has revolutionized the way we understand, repair, and strengthen marriages. John Gottman’s unprecedented study of couples over a period of years has allowed him to observe the habits that can make—and break—a marriage. Here is the culmination of that work: the seven principles that guide couples on a path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward yet profound, these principles teach partners new approaches for resolving conflicts, creating new common ground, and achieving greater levels of intimacy. Gottman offers strategies and resources to help couples collaborate more effectively to resolve any problem, whether dealing with issues related to sex, money, religion, work, family, or anything else. Packed with new exercises and the latest research out of the esteemed Gottman Institute, this revised edition of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential. |
| four horsemen of communication: Why Marriages Succeed or Fail John Gottman, 2012-12-11 Psychologist John Gottman has spent twenty years studying what makes a marriage last. Now you can use his tested methods to evaluate, strengthen, and maintain your own long-term relationship. This breakthrough book guides you through a series of self-tests designed to help you determine what kind of marriage you have, where your strengths and weaknesses are, and what specific actions you can take to help your marriage. You'll also learn that more sex doesn't necessarily improve a marriage, frequent arguing will not lead to divorce, financial problems do not always spell trouble in a relationship, wives who make sour facial expressions when their husbands talk are likely to be separated within four years and there is a reason husbands withdraw from arguments—and there's a way around it. Dr. Gottman teaches you how to recognize attitudes that doom a marriage—contempt, criticism, defensiveness, and stonewalling—and provides practical exercises, quizzes, tips, and techniques that will help you understand and make the most of your relationship. You can avoid patterns that lead to divorce, and—Why Marriages Succeed or Fail will show you how. |
| four horsemen of communication: Eight Dates John Gottman, Julie Schwartz Gottman, Doug Abrams, Rachel Carlton Abrams, 2019-02-05 Whether you’re newly together and eager to make it work or a longtime couple looking to strengthen and deepen your bond, Eight Dates offers a program of how, why, and when to have eight basic conversations with your partner that can result in a lifetime of love. “Happily ever after” is not by chance, it’s by choice– the choice each person in a relationship makes to remain open, remain curious, and, most of all, to keep talking to one another. From award-winning marriage researcher and bestselling author Dr. John Gottman and fellow researcher Julie Gottman, Eight Dates offers an ingenious and simple-to-implement approach to effective relationship communication. Here are the subjects that every serious couple should discuss: Trust. Family. Sex and intimacy. Dealing with conflict. Work and money. Dreams, and more. And here is how to talk about them—how to broach subjects that are difficult or embarrassing, how to be brave enough to say what you really feel. There are also suggestions for where and when to go on each date—book your favorite romantic restaurant for the Sex & Intimacy conversation (and maybe go to a yoga or dance class beforehand). There are questionnaires, innovative exercises, real-life case studies, and skills to master, including the Four Skills of Intimate Conversation and the Art of Listening. Because making love last is not about having a certain feeling—it’s about both of you being active and involved. |
| four horsemen of communication: What Makes Love Last? John Gottman, John Mordechai Gottman, Nan Silver, 2013-09-10 One of the foremost relationship experts at work today offers creative insight on building trust and avoiding betrayal, helping readers to decode the mysteries of healthy love and relationships-- |
| four horsemen of communication: 10 Principles for Doing Effective Couples Therapy (Norton Series on Interpersonal Neurobiology) Julie Schwartz Gottman, John M. Gottman, 2015-10-26 From the country’s leading couple therapist duo, a practical guide to what makes it all work. In 10 Principles for Doing Effective Couples Therapy, two of the world’s leading couple researchers and therapists give readers an inside tour of what goes on inside the consulting rooms of their practice. They have been doing couples work for decades and still find it challenging and full of learning experiences. This book distills the knowledge they've gained over their years of practice into ten principles at the core of good couples work. Each principle is illustrated with a clinically compiled case plus personal side-notes and storytelling. Topics addressed include: • You know that you need to “treat the relationship,” but how are you supposed to get at something as elusive as “a relationship”? • How do you empathize with both clients if they have opposite points of view? Later on, if they end up separating does that mean you’ve failed? Are you only successful if you keep couples together? • Compared to an individual client, a relationship is an entirely different animal. What should you do first? What should you look for? What questions should you ask? If clients give different answers, who should you believe? • What are you supposed to do with all the emotional and personal history that your clients stir up in you? • How can you make your work research-based? No one who works with couples will want to be without the insight, guidance, and strategies offered in this book. |
| four horsemen of communication: Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage John Gottman, PhD, Julie Schwartz Gottman, PhD, Joan DeClaire, 2007-06-26 In Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage, marital psychologists John and Julie Gottman provide vital tools—scientifically based and empirically verified—that you can use to regain affection and romance lost through years of ineffective communication. In 1994, Dr. John Gottman and his colleagues at the University of Washington made a startling announcement: Through scientific observation and mathematical analysis, they could predict—with more than 90 percent accuracy—whether a marriage would succeed or fail. The only thing they did not yet know was how to turn a failing marriage into a successful one, so Gottman teamed up with his clinical psychologist wife, Dr. Julie Schwartz Gottman, to develop intervention methods. Now the Gottmans, together with the Love Lab research facility, have put these ideas into practice. What emerged from the Gottmans’ collaboration and decades of research is a body of advice that’s based on two surprisingly simple truths: Happily married couples behave like good friends, and they handle their conflicts in gentle, positive ways. The authors offer an intimate look at ten couples who have learned to work through potentially destructive problems—extramarital affairs, workaholism, parenthood adjustments, serious illnesses, lack of intimacy—and examine what they’ve done to improve communication and get their marriages back on track. Hundreds of thousands have seen their relationships improve thanks to the Gottmans’ work. Whether you want to make a strong relationship more fulfilling or rescue one that’s headed for disaster, Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage is essential reading. |
| four horsemen of communication: The Relationship Alphabet Zach Brittle, 2015-07-07 The Relationship Alphabet is an alphabetical survey of relationship topics based on the research of Dr. John Gottman. The book includes insights on communication, conflict management and friendship building. Practical discussion questions make it easy to turn ideas into action. |
| four horsemen of communication: The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work John Gottman, Ph.D., 2002-02-04 Just as Masters and Johnson were pioneers in the study of human sexuality, so Dr. John Gottman has revolutionized the study of marriage. As a professor of psychology at the University of Washington and the founder and director of the Seattle Marital and Family Institute, he has studied the habits of married couples in unprecedented detail over the course of many years. His findings, and his heavily attended workshops, have already turned around thousands of faltering marriages. This book is the culmination of his life's work: the seven principles that guide couples on the path toward a harmonious and long-lasting relationship. Straightforward in their approach, yet profound in their effect, these principles teach partners new and startling strategies for making their marriage work. Gottman helps couples focus on each other, on paying attention to the small day-to-day moments that, strung together, make up the heart and soul of any relationship. Being thoughtful about ordinary matters provides spouses with a solid foundation for resolving conflict when it does occur and finding strategies for living with those issues that cannot be resolved. Packed with questionnaires and exercises whose effectiveness has been proven in Dr. Gottman's workshops, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the definitive guide for anyone who wants their relationship to attain its highest potential. The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is the result of Dr. John Gottman's many years of closely observing thousands of marriages. This kind of longitudinal research has never been done before. Based on his findings, he has culled seven principles essential to the success of any marriage. Maintain a love map. Foster fondness and admiration. Turn toward instead of away. Accept influence. Solve solvable conflicts. Cope with conflicts you can't resolve. Create shared meaning. Dr. Gottman's unique questionnaires and exercises will guide couples on the road to revitalizing their marriage, or making a strong one even better. |
| four horsemen of communication: The Man's Guide to Women John Gottman, Julie Schwartz Gottman, PhD, Douglas Abrams, Rachel Carlton Abrams, M.D., 2016-02-02 Results from world-renowned relationship expert John Gottman’s famous Love Lab have proven an incredible truth: Men make or break relationships. Based on 40 years of research, The Man’s Guide to Women unlocks the mystery of how to attract, satisfy, and succeed with a woman for a lifetime. For the first time ever, there is a science-based answer to the age-old question: What do women really want in a man? Dr. Gottman, author of the New York Times bestseller The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, and his wife and collaborator, clinical psychologist Julie Schwartz Gottman, PhD, have pored over the research along with bestselling coauthors Douglas Abrams and Rachel Carlton Abrams, MD. Together, they have written this definitive guide for men, providing answers on everything from how to approach a woman and build a connection with her to how to truly satisfy her in bed and know when the relationship is on the right track. The Man’s Guide to Women is a must-have playbook for how to play—and win—the game of love. |
| four horsemen of communication: Blink Malcolm Gladwell, 2007-04-03 From the #1 bestselling author of The Bomber Mafia, the landmark book that has revolutionized the way we understand leadership and decision making. In his breakthrough bestseller The Tipping Point, Malcolm Gladwell redefined how we understand the world around us. Now, in Blink, he revolutionizes the way we understand the world within. Blink is a book about how we think without thinking, about choices that seem to be made in an instant--in the blink of an eye--that actually aren't as simple as they seem. Why are some people brilliant decision makers, while others are consistently inept? Why do some people follow their instincts and win, while others end up stumbling into error? How do our brains really work--in the office, in the classroom, in the kitchen, and in the bedroom? And why are the best decisions often those that are impossible to explain to others? In Blink we meet the psychologist who has learned to predict whether a marriage will last, based on a few minutes of observing a couple; the tennis coach who knows when a player will double-fault before the racket even makes contact with the ball; the antiquities experts who recognize a fake at a glance. Here, too, are great failures of blink: the election of Warren Harding; New Coke; and the shooting of Amadou Diallo by police. Blink reveals that great decision makers aren't those who process the most information or spend the most time deliberating, but those who have perfected the art of thin-slicing--filtering the very few factors that matter from an overwhelming number of variables. |
| four horsemen of communication: The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples John M. Gottman, 2011-05-09 An eminent therapist explains what makes couples compatible and how to sustain a happy marriage. For the past thirty-five years, John Gottman’s research has been internationally recognized for its unprecedented ability to precisely measure interactive processes in couples and to predict the long-term success or failure of relationships. In this groundbreaking book, he presents a new approach to understanding and changing couples: a fundamental social skill called “emotional attunement,” which describes a couple’s ability to fully process and move on from negative emotional events, ultimately creating a stronger relationship. Gottman draws from this longitudinal research and theory to show how emotional attunement can downregulate negative affect, help couples focus on positive traits and memories, and even help prevent domestic violence. He offers a detailed intervention devised to cultivate attunement, thereby helping couples connect, respect, and show affection. Emotional attunement is extended to tackle the subjects of flooding, the story we tell ourselves about our relationship, conflict, personality, changing relationships, and gender. Gottman also explains how to create emotional attunement when it is missing, to lay a foundation that will carry the relationship through difficult times. Gottman encourages couples to cultivate attunement through awareness, tolerance, understanding, non-defensive listening, and empathy. These qualities, he argues, inspire confidence in couples, and the sense that despite the inevitable struggles, the relationship is enduring and resilient. This book, an essential follow-up to his 1999 The Marriage Clinic, offers therapists, students, and researchers detailed intervention for working with couples, and offers couples a roadmap to a stronger future together. |
| four horsemen of communication: Psychic Communication with Animals for Health and Healing Laila del Monte, 2010-03-09 The transformation and insights of an acclaimed flamenco dancer turned world-renowned animal communicator and healer • Presents powerful case histories of animals with whom she communicated and treated • Offers instruction on how to establish communication with animals When Laila del Monte was a child growing up on the Balearic island of Formentera, she experienced a special bond with the animals that were a part of her life. Later, as she became entirely focused on her career as a flamenco dancer, she resisted those who told her that her true vocation was as a healer. But when her own health challenges jeopardized her dancing career, the healing energies she received from both her human and animal teachers raised her consciousness about the important insights animals have to offer on the state of our physical and emotional well-being. In this book Laila del Monte reveals how the unconditionally loving nature of animals very often leads them to take on the physical pains and negative emotional experiences of the human beings in their lives. The animals absorb negative emotions such as guilt, anger, jealousy, and other issues that stop people from moving forward and reflect these back in their animal behavior. Through her work with countless animals suffering from behavioral disorders or who have been sick or injured, del Monte learned that the physical healing of the animals is directly tied to the emotional healing of the people they are close to. The stories and situations she shares in this book demonstrate that learning what animals have to teach us about our lives does not require any magical formula or laborious training--it is part of our natural birthright. We need only to revive our own deep intuition to restore this connection. The authenticity and loving nature of del Monte’s approach is not only testimony to her dedication and amazing abilities but also shows us the way we can follow the same path simply and honestly. |
| four horsemen of communication: Delta CX Angie Born, Tanya Netayavichitr, Debbie Levitt, 2019-09-19 Delta CX is a refreshing model bringing CX and UX together in task and in name with the key goal of improving the products, services, and experiences (PSE) that we offer our potential and current customers. Rather than following trends or drinking the snake oil, Delta CX presents a time-tested, thorough approach that helps you establish values, vision, strategies, and goals. Great PSE require the right teams and strategies in place to proactively predict and mitigate the risk of delivering wrong or flawed PSE. Adopting Delta CX means we all finally speak the same language, from tasks and deliverables to job titles and required skills to where CX fits into Agile organizations to processes and teams. Calculate the ROI of investing more time and resources into building the right PSE the first time. Save time, money, and sanity. Replace guessing and assumptions with Lean customer research that is planned, conducted, and interpreted by experts. Learn why quality should be our #1 priority, and how to rededicate our organization to our external and internal customers.Target audiences: Managers, workers, practitioners, freelancers, consultants, contractors, execs, stakeholders, and everybody else working in CX, UX, Marketing, Product Management, Engineering, Project Management. Business Analysts (BAs), Data Scientists, Writers, Visual Designers, Information Architects, Interaction Designers, Product Designers, and Researchers.The long and problem-focused version: In an era of faster, faster, faster, our workplaces are sacrificing quality, collaboration, culture, and the customer experience to just ship it. Business goals don't seem to align with customers' needs. Customers constantly raise their standards and expectations, and they notice when companies are out of touch or get it wrong. Competitors, investors, shareholders, the press, bloggers, social media, and Wall Street also notice. Brands are being surprised when their products, services, and experiences (PSE) are disliked or rejected by customers, or go viral for the wrong reasons. Companies claim they are customer-focused, user-centric, and designing for the needs of real customers. Initiatives to increase the ability to build the right PSE should have meant hiring more CX and UX talent. However, with UX still misunderstood, circumvented, overruled, and excluded at many companies, workplaces that didn't know how to assess CX and UX talent hired anybody who put UX on their resume. Poor hiring choices lead to silos and bad design. Rather than wondering if UX workers were unqualified, leadership blamed UX and User-Centered Design (UCD): They must be bloated, outdated, not Lean, not Agile things we don't really need. We started imagining that everybody can be a designer. Get people sketching in design sprints, and solve our company's biggest challenges. We called for democratization and decentralization of UX and design because perhaps taking some power away from these high-ego UX people we hired will fix this. Suddenly, everybody was a design thinker doing design thinking, yet few people can agree on what design thinking is.Everybody became quietly desperate. UX practitioners wanted to evangelize, and invited teammates to UX evangelism presentations, which often backfired. Companies of all sizes and ages, including Fortune 500s, tried methodologies designed for startups. Startups fail roughly 95% of the time. It's so rare that they innovate or build something the public actually wants. Why would we want to emulate a segment with such a high failure rate? We're lost. We need another business transformation, a return to prioritizing the quality of what we ideate, architect, design, test, build, and unleash on the public.(Return to the top for the short and happy version.) |
| four horsemen of communication: Horses and the Mystical Path Adele Von Rust McCormick, Thomas McCormick, 2010-09-24 On a trip to Scotland, the psychotherapist family team of Adele, Deborah, and Thomas McCormick — pioneers in the psychotherapeutic use of horses — discovered that early Celtic mysticism held important insights into an equestrian-partnered spirituality. The McCormicks show how to integrate this spirituality with psychology, forming a new, powerful form of healing. Horses and the Mystical Path recounts their memorable journey and the lessons they learned from their amazing equine guides. |
| four horsemen of communication: Zombies in Western Culture John Vervaeke, Christopher Mastropietro, Filip Miscevic, 2017-06-15 Why has the zombie become such a pervasive figure in twenty-first-century popular culture? John Vervaeke, Christopher Mastropietro and Filip Miscevic seek to answer this question by arguing that particular aspects of the zombie, common to a variety of media forms, reflect a crisis in modern Western culture. The authors examine the essential features of the zombie, including mindlessness, ugliness and homelessness, and argue that these reflect the outlook of the contemporary West and its attendant zeitgeists of anxiety, alienation, disconnection and disenfranchisement. They trace the relationship between zombies and the theme of secular apocalypse, demonstrating that the zombie draws its power from being a perversion of the Christian mythos of death and resurrection. Symbolic of a lost Christian worldview, the zombie represents a world that can no longer explain itself, nor provide us with instructions for how to live within it. The concept of 'domicide' or the destruction of home is developed to describe the modern crisis of meaning that the zombie both represents and reflects. This is illustrated using case studies including the relocation of the Anishinaabe of the Grassy Narrows First Nation, and the upheaval of population displacement in the Hellenistic period. Finally, the authors invoke and reformulate symbols of the four horseman of the apocalypse as rhetorical analogues to frame those aspects of contemporary collapse that elucidate the horror of the zombie. Zombies in Western Culture: A Twenty-First Century Crisis is required reading for anyone interested in the phenomenon of zombies in contemporary culture. It will also be of interest to an interdisciplinary audience including students and scholars of culture studies, semiotics, philosophy, religious studies, eschatology, anthropology, Jungian studies, and sociology. |
| four horsemen of communication: Schneier on Security Bruce Schneier, 2009-03-16 Presenting invaluable advice from the world?s most famous computer security expert, this intensely readable collection features some of the most insightful and informative coverage of the strengths and weaknesses of computer security and the price people pay -- figuratively and literally -- when security fails. Discussing the issues surrounding things such as airplanes, passports, voting machines, ID cards, cameras, passwords, Internet banking, sporting events, computers, and castles, this book is a must-read for anyone who values security at any level -- business, technical, or personal. |
| four horsemen of communication: The Mathematics of Marriage John M. Gottman, James D. Murray, Catherine C. Swanson, Rebecca Tyson, Kristin R. Swanson, 2005-01-14 Divorce rates are at an all-time high. But without a theoretical understanding of the processes related to marital stability and dissolution, it is difficult to design and evaluate new marriage interventions. The Mathematics of Marriage provides the foundation for a scientific theory of marital relations. The book does not rely on metaphors, but develops and applies a mathematical model using difference equations. The work is the fulfillment of the goal to build a mathematical framework for the general system theory of families first suggested by Ludwig Von Bertalanffy in the 1960s.The book also presents a complete introduction to the mathematics involved in theory building and testing, and details the development of experiments and models. In one marriage experiment, for example, the authors explored the effects of lowering or raising a couple's heart rates. Armed with their mathematical model, they were able to do real experiments to determine which processes were affected by their interventions. Applying ideas such as phase space, null clines, influence functions, inertia, and uninfluenced and influenced stable steady states (attractors), the authors show how other researchers can use the methods to weigh their own data with positive and negative weights. While the focus is on modeling marriage, the techniques can be applied to other types of psychological phenomena as well. |
| four horsemen of communication: Communication in Marriage Marcus Kusi, Ashley Kusi, 2017-07-31 How to Communicate with Your Spouse Without Fighting - EVEN If You Have a Difficult Spouse; Do you find it difficult communicating with your spouse? Are you tired of arguing and fighting with your spouse whenever you try to communicate? Have you ever wanted to cry in frustration after yet again another fruitless or useless argument with your spouse? Is your spouse not talking to you anymore? You are not alone. Many couples (including us) have had to deal with these communication problems at some point in marriage. And it’s not fun! The yelling, shouting, anger, frustration, rejection, resentment, interrupting, blaming, insults... It can definitely be overwhelming. It could even destroy your ability to not only communicate effectively with your spouse but also enjoy your marriage. The lack of communication in your marriage can even lead to a divorce. But don't worry. No matter what communication problems you struggle with, you can learn how to communicate effectively with your spouse today. Whether you feel you are not being heard, cannot hear your spouse, or want to communicate better with your spouse without fighting or yelling, this book will show you how. For the past 7 years, we have used these proven communication skills to go from arguing and fighting whenever we communicated to communicating effectively without fighting, calling each other names, and being disrespectful. As a result, we now have a better marriage. In this Communication in Marriage book, you will learn: 1. How to communicate effectively with your spouse without fighting. 2. Why trust is essential for effective communication in marriage. 3. Clearly understand why we all communicate differently. 4. How to improve communication in your marriage. 5. How to communicate through conflict, even with a difficult spouse. 6. Our tested, simple and proven step-by-step plan for effective communication in 7 days or less. 7. How to communicate through difficult emotions. 8. How to prevent communication problems with your spouse. 9. Why your past experiences affect the way you communicate with your spouse. This book will show you proven communication skills married couples need to communicate effectively with each other. We have tested and continue to use these effective communication skills in our marriage every single day. And they work! Whether you feel like you cannot communicate with your spouse, or improve communication in your marriage, you can become a better communicator in your marriage by reading this book today. You don't need another fight or argument! You can communicate better with your husband or wife. How would your marriage be different if you had no communication problems? Buy your copy of this communication in marriage book for couples today. ---------------------------- Keywords related to this book: Communication in marriage, communication in marriage book, how to communicate with your spouse, how to communicate with your wife, how to communicate with your husband, how to communicate with your spouse without fighting, communication book for couples, communication skills, communication problems, effective communication skills, communication skills for married couples, marriage books, newlyweds book, books for couples, marriage help books, relationship help books, relationship books, books for couples, books for married couples, |
| four horsemen of communication: Design Patterns Erich Gamma, Richard Helm, Ralph Johnson, John Vlissides, 1995 Software -- Software Engineering. |
| four horsemen of communication: A Couple's Guide to Communication John Mordechai Gottman, 1976 This book is designed to help couples with communication and that in turn will help their relationship both socially and sexually. |
| four horsemen of communication: The Communicators Richard S. Levick, 2010 The Communicators: Leadership in the Age of Crisis redefines the professional strategies and personal qualities that this current age of incessant crisis demands of leaders in corporate C-suites, boardrooms, courtrooms, and in the corridors of political power. Drawing on dozens of extensive interviews with prominent leaders who describe and reflect on their most significant experiences, Richard Levick and Charles Slack underscore the heightened challenges and instantaneous risks that confront global managers in an age of digital media and intensified regulatory pressure. The book is designed for executives who want to learn from the best practices of others who have so ably responded to the conflicting demands of multiple audiences and stakeholders. In an age defined by crisis and its four horsemen - speed, transparency, media by sequel, and exorcised regulation - the book serves as a survival guide for business leaders and public figures in the eye of the storm. As Steve Forbes points out in his foreword, leadership today is tied as never before to effective communications and to how we respond to crisis. By setting the tone at the top, today's leaders are the stewards of capitalism. |
| four horsemen of communication: Boundary Boss Terri Cole, MSW, LCSW, 2021-04-20 Break Free From Over-Functioning, Over-Delivering, People-Pleasing, and Ignoring Your Own Needs So You Can Finally Live the Life You Deserve! Most of us were never taught how to effectively express our preferences, desires or deal-breakers. Instead, we hide our feelings behind passive-aggressive behavior, deny our own truths, or push our emotions down until we get depressed or so frustrated that we explode, potentially destroying hard-won trust and relationships. The most successful and satisfied people on the planet have one thing in common: the ability to create and communicate clear, healthy boundaries. This ability is, hands down, the biggest game changer when it comes to creating a healthy, happy, self-determined life. In Boundary Boss, psychotherapist Terri Cole reveals a specific set of skills that can help you stop abandoning yourself for the sake of others (without guilt or drama) and get empowered to consciously take control of every aspect of your emotional, spiritual, physical, personal, and professional life. Since becoming a Boundary Boss is a process, Cole also offers actionable strategies, scripts, and techniques that can be used in the moment, whenever you need them. You will learn: • How to recognize when your boundaries have been violated and what to do next • How your unique “Boundary Blueprint” is unconsciously driving your boundary behaviors, and strategies to redesign it • Powerful boundary scripts so in the moment you will know what to say • How to manage “Boundary Destroyers”—including emotional manipulators, narcissists, and other toxic personalities • Where you fall on the spectrum of codependency and how to create healthy, balanced relationships This book is for women who are exhausted from over-giving, overdoing, and even over-feeling. If you’re getting it all done but at the expense of yourself, give yourself the gift of Boundary Boss. |
| four horsemen of communication: Marital Interaction John Mordechai Gottman, 2013-10-22 Marital Interaction: Experimental Investigations deals with experimental studies on marital interaction. Emphasis is on the importance of the role of description in the study of social interaction. Methods for the analysis of pattern and sequence, including cross-spectral time-series analysis, are also presented. Comprised of 15 chapters, this book begins with a historical review of several research traditions that have concerned themselves with families and marriages: the sociological tradition; the family therapy or systems tradition; the social learning tradition; and the developmental tradition. Research that points to the potential importance of the observation of consensual decision-making processes is also reviewed. A model of marital interaction called the Structural Model, which can be used to predict changes in marital satisfaction, is described. Subsequent chapters focus on the Couples Interaction Scoring System, an observational system for categorizing marital interaction; modern concepts of the assessment of reliability, particularly the stringent assessment that is necessary for sequential analysis; differences between well-functioning and poorly functioning marriages; couples' interactional styles in terms of communication skill deficits; and the concept of an individual's social competence. This monograph will be of interest to psychologists engaged in research on marriage, as well as sociologists and clinical researchers. |
| four horsemen of communication: How to Not Die Alone Logan Ury, 2021-02-02 A “must-read” (The Washington Post) funny and practical guide to help you find, build, and keep the relationship of your dreams. Have you ever looked around and wondered, “Why has everyone found love except me?” You’re not the only one. Great relationships don’t just appear in our lives—they’re the culmination of a series of decisions, including whom to date, how to end it with the wrong person, and when to commit to the right one. But our brains often get in the way. We make poor decisions, which thwart us on our quest to find lasting love. Drawing from years of research, behavioral scientist turned dating coach Logan Ury reveals the hidden forces that cause those mistakes. But awareness on its own doesn’t lead to results. You have to actually change your behavior. Ury shows you how. This “simple-to-use guide” (Lori Gottlieb, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone) focuses on a different decision in each chapter, incorporating insights from behavioral science, original research, and real-life stories. You’ll learn: -What’s holding you back in dating (and how to break the pattern) -What really matters in a long-term partner (and what really doesn’t) -How to overcome the perils of online dating (and make the apps work for you) -How to meet more people in real life (while doing activities you love) -How to make dates fun again (so they stop feeling like job interviews) -Why “the spark” is a myth (but you’ll find love anyway) This “data-driven” (Time), step-by-step guide to relationships, complete with hands-on exercises, is designed to transform your life. How to Not Die Alone will help you find, build, and keep the relationship of your dreams. |
| four horsemen of communication: Mindful Horsemanship Cheryl Kimball, 2002 This is a perpetual calendar of thought-provoking quotes that Cheryl has collected over the years in her quest for better horsemanship. Quotes are drawn from sources ranging from practising horsemen and horsewomen, to psychiatrists such as Viktor Frankl, sports figures like Tiger Woods, characters in novels, and even jokes and word puzzles. The author accompanies each quote with thoughts on how the quote relates to working with horses, including anecdotes from her own horse life as well as insights gleaned from horse clinics around the country. None are intended to be prescriptive, but instead to provide jumping off points for each reader to come up with her or his own thoughts on how the quote might apply to horsemanship and how it might better the reader's own understanding of and ability to be aware, to be mindful, to be in the moment. Horses are masters at mindfulness, experiencing their lives one moment at a time. They have a lot to teach humans if we are only willing to explore their world on their terms and expand our own awareness to better understand these gracious animals. Keep this book by your bedside or next to the place where you have your morning coffee for a daily dose of inspiration. |
| four horsemen of communication: Engaging Theories in Family Communication Dawn O. Braithwaite, Leslie A. Baxter, 2005-08-26 Engaging Theories in Family Communication: Multiple Perspectives covers uncharted territory in its field, as it is the first book on the market to deal exclusively with family communication theory. In this volume, editors Dawn O. Braithwaite and Leslie A. Baxter bring together a group of contributors that represent a veritable Who's Who in the family communication field. These scholars examine both classic and cutting-edge theories to guide family communication research in the coming years. |
| four horsemen of communication: The Divo and the Duce Giorgio Bertellini, 2019-01-15 At publication date, a free ebook version of this title will be available through Luminos, University of California Press's Open Access publishing program. Visit www.luminosoa.org to learn more. In the post–World War I American climate of isolationism, nativism, democratic expansion of civic rights, and consumerism, Italian-born star Rodolfo Valentino and Italy’s dictator Benito Mussolini became surprising paragons of authoritarian male power and mass appeal. Drawing on extensive archival research in the United States and Italy, Giorgio Bertellini’s work shows how their popularity, both political and erotic, largely depended on the efforts of public opinion managers, including publicists, journalists, and even ambassadors. Beyond the democratic celebrations of the Jazz Age, the promotion of their charismatic masculinity through spectacle and press coverage inaugurated the now-familiar convergence of popular celebrity and political authority. This is the first volume in the new Cinema Cultures in Contact series, coedited by Giorgio Bertellini, Richard Abel, and Matthew Solomon. |
| four horsemen of communication: Corrupt Penelope Douglas, 2023-11-07 Dreams might be a heart’s desire, but nightmares are its obsession in the first novel of a dark romance series from New York Times bestselling author Penelope Douglas. Erika Fane’s boyfriend's older brother is handsome, strong, and completely terrifying. The star of his college's basketball team gone pro, he's more concerned with the dirt on his shoe than he is with her. But she saw him. She heard him. The things that he did, and the deeds that he hid... For years, Erika bit her nails, unable to look away. Now, she’s in college, but she hasn’t stopped watching him. He’s bad and the things she’s seen aren’t content to stay in her head anymore. Because he's finally noticed her. But Michael Crist knows the hold he has on Rika, how much she fears him. She looks down when he enters the room and stills when he’s close. He knows she thinks only of him. When Michael’s brother leaves for the military, leaving Rika alone and unprotected, he knows the opportunity is too good to be true. Three years ago she put Michael’s friends in prison, and now they’re free. Every last one of her nightmares is about to come true. |
| four horsemen of communication: Difficult Conversations Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, Sheila Heen, 2023-08-22 The 10th-anniversary edition of the New York Times business bestseller-now updated with Answers to Ten Questions People Ask We attempt or avoid difficult conversations every day-whether dealing with an underperforming employee, disagreeing with a spouse, or negotiating with a client. From the Harvard Negotiation Project, the organization that brought you Getting to Yes, Difficult Conversations provides a step-by-step approach to having those tough conversations with less stress and more success. you'll learn how to: · Decipher the underlying structure of every difficult conversation · Start a conversation without defensiveness · Listen for the meaning of what is not said · Stay balanced in the face of attacks and accusations · Move from emotion to productive problem solving |
| four horsemen of communication: The Four Horsemen Emily Mayhew, 2022-05-05 |
| four horsemen of communication: The Five Horsemen of the Modern World Daniel Callahan, 2016-05-10 In recent decades, we have seen five perilous and interlocking trends dominate global discourse: irreversible climate change, extreme food and water shortages, rising chronic illnesses, and rampant obesity. Why can't we make any progress in counteracting these problems despite vast expenditures of intellectual, institutional, and social capital? What makes these global emergencies the wicked problems that resist our best efforts and only grow more daunting? Daniel Callahan, noted author and the nation's preeminent scholar in bioethics, examines these global problems and shines a light on the institutions, practices, and actors that block major change. We see partisan political and ideological forces, old-fashioned hucksters, and trumped-up scientific disagreements but also the problem of modern progress itself. Obesity, anthropogenic climate change, degenerative diseases, ecological degradation, and global famine are often the unintended consequences of unchecked industrial growth, insatiable eating habits, and technologically extended life spans. Only through well-crafted political, regulatory, industrial, and cultural counterstrategies can we change enough minds to check these threats. With big thinking on issues that are usually evaluated separately, this book is sure to scramble partisan divides and provoke unusual, heated debate. |
| four horsemen of communication: The End of Theory Richard Bookstaber, 2019-04-02 An in-depth look at how to account for the human complexities at the heart of today’s financial system Our economy may have recovered from the Great Recession—but not our economics. The End of Theory discusses why the human condition and the radical uncertainty of our world renders the standard economic model—and the theory behind it—useless for dealing with financial crises. What model should replace it? None. At least not any version we’ve been using for the past two hundred years. Richard Bookstaber argues for a new approach called agent-based economics, one that takes as a starting point the fact that we are humans, not the optimizing automatons that standard economics assumes we are. Sweeping aside the historic failure of twentieth-century economics, The End of Theory offers a novel perspective and more realistic framework to help prevent today's financial system from blowing up again. |
| four horsemen of communication: I Want This to Work Elizabeth Earnshaw, 2023-06-13 A contemporary, culturally inclusive, and easy-to-digest relationship book for the modern age Today’s generation is changing the rules about committed relationships—and looking to create more meaning within their lives. We are more selective before getting married, with more diverse families and family structures, and we’ve seen a significant drop in divorce rates. In this new environment, what couples need more than ever are effective, flexible tools to communicate, navigate hard times, and create deeper connections with each other. Renowned Gottman therapist Elizabeth Earnshaw has helped to transform countless relationships. With I Want This to Work, she presents her most timely and proven steps for relationship success. “We’re in a cultural moment,” she says, “where people are hungry to absorb the principles for healthy relationships. This book answers that call.” Here, couples will learn how to work with the three challenges they must tackle to repair and strengthen their relationships: conflict, healing, and connection. In a supportive and relatable voice, Elizabeth simplifies complex concepts and provides core insights, exercises, and reflections to take these tested principles from the page and into real life. Culturally tuned in, LGBTQIA+ friendly, and written for both married and unmarried couples, this new paperback edition of I Want This to Work brings us an accessible guide to relationship healing and creating enduring intimacy. |
| four horsemen of communication: Divine Horsemen Maya Deren, 1953 This is the classic, intimate study, movingly written with the special insight of direct encounter, which was first published in 1953 by the fledgling Thames & Hudson firm in a series edited by Joseph Campbell. Maya Deren's Divine Horsemen is recognized throughout the world as a primary source book on the culture and spirituality of Haitian Voudoun. The work includes all the original photographs and illustrations, glossary, appendices and index. It includes the original Campbell foreword along with the foreword Campbell added to a later edition. |
| four horsemen of communication: Storyjacking Lyssa Danehy deHart, 2017-05 StoryJacking is a seven-step guide to help you reclaim a fundamental truth: You are whole, capable, resourceful, and creative. It explores the choices you make, the reactions and responses you have to the life you are living, and how the very way you view your life experiences comes directly from the stories you are telling yourself. |
| four horsemen of communication: Revelation: Mature Look Maurice Williams, 2018-09-14 This is a rewrite of a book I wrote in 1988 in which I presented my conviction that Revelation was first of all a warning to the Judean people that if they did not accept the prophesized Jewish Messiah when he arrived in A.D. 27, God would reject them. A secondary message is that, at the end times, if the gentile world also does not accept the Messiah, God will then bring this present world to an end and commence his eternal heavenly kingdom where God will judge every person he created according to their works.My first book picked up on an argument proposed by J. Massyngberde Ford (in her introduction to revelation in the Anchor Bible Series) that most of Revelation came from the preaching of John the Baptist, who preached directly to the Judeans. The disciples of the Baptist (John the Evangelist was one of them) continued preaching the Baptist's warnings right up into the ministry of Jesus Christ. Finally, near the end of his life, the Evangelist put what he preached into writing. It included what he learned from John the Baptist and became the concluding book of the New Testament.After the crucifixion, the unbelieving Judeans and their descendants tried to defeat the Church and could have wiped out the Church if the revolt under Bar Kochba was successful in liberating Judea from Roman control. But Bar Kochba was totally defeated by Severus in A.D. 135 causing an immense slaughter of Jews. The surviving Judeans were deported elsewhere in the Roman Empire and foreign people were introduced into Palestine. Not many people are aware that for hundreds of years thereafter, only a very small population of Jewish people living in the ancestral homeland of the Jews.No other interpretation that I have reads has pinpointed the historical event that coincided with the fall of Judea like I did. I identify the historical fulfillment of Rev: 15:17 when the seventh angel pours out his vial saying It is done. as the final defeat of Judea by General Severus in A.D. 135. Most interpretations never discuss the fall of Judea in A.D. 135. Instead, they try to predict a future event (future even to us) that will cause the final conflict when all gentile nations will fall.I also discuss how I think the scenes in Revelation apply to the end of times. I think God has been warning the modern world all along through apparitions by the mother of Christ. I try to show the relevance of the Devil, Lucifer, as the cause of the wickedness of humans. Lucifer is identified in Scripture as the instigator of evil. I think God cannot correct the evils of man until he finally punishes Lucifer in eternal damnation.In my new book, I also point out that the rebellion of the angel Lucifer, the Devil, is the cause of the rejection of the Messiah by the human race. I trace the influence of Lucifer misguiding the human race from the very beginning in the Garden of Eden. I point out how his influence misguided the human race all through history with false ideologies and human conquest by human utopias to try to conduct ourselves outside of Gods embrace.I was unsure how readers would view my book when I first launched publication of my book, but now I have seen many favorable reviews by readers of many different religious convictions that do not take exception to what I have written. This encouraged me to continue.I hope you read my book and find it interesting. At the very least, it should at least give you food for thought. |
| four horsemen of communication: Interpersonal Communication Kory Floyd, 2011 Kory Floyds approach to interpersonal communication stems from his research area where he studies the positive impact of communication on our health and well-being. Interpersonal Communication 2e shows students how effective interpersonal communication can make their lives better. With careful consideration given to the impact of computer-mediated communication, the program reflects the rapid changes of the modern world that todays students live and interact in, and helps them understand and build interpersonal skills and choices for their livesacademically, personally, and professionally. |
| four horsemen of communication: Interplay Ronald Brian Adler, Lawrence B. Rosenfeld, Russell F. Proctor, 2004 Now in a new edition, Interplay: The Process of Interpersonal Communication provides a comprehensive and engaging introduction to communication in interpersonal relationships. Based on an extensive body of scholarship, interplay cites more than 1,000 sources--30% of which are new to the ninth edition--and provides a variety of thought-provoking photos, sidebars, and cartoons that illustrate key points in the text and connect them to everyday life and popular culture. The ninth edition is updated and revised throughout to help make material more clear and useful to students. It provides new information on how people manage their identities on the Internet, how people interpret language in everyday situations, reasons for defensiveness, the role of physical appearance in relational communication, and how technology and gender affect different types of interaction. In addition, the text expands coverage of emotional expression, and extends its balance treatment of gender influences, self-disclosure, and methods of managing privacy in personal relationships. FEATURES OF THE NINTH EDITION .New-Part IV: Contexts of Interpersonal Communication focuses on some of the most important circumstances that surround human interaction. Dedicated chapters focus on culture (Chapter 12), and work and family (all-new Chapter 13). Each chapter provides context-specific guidelines for communicating effectively. .New-Self-Assessment Instruments in each chapter allow students to analyze their current communication behavior and its consequences. The behaviors discussed include listening styles, expressing emotions, self-disclosure, and ways to handle aggression. .Updated-Film Clips at the end of each chapter profile recent feature films-including About a Boy (intimacy and self-disclosure), Ghost World (defensiveness), and Life as a House (the role of touch in relationships)-that illustrate communication concepts from the text. .Updated-Focus on Research sidebars highlight scholarship that students will find interesting and useful. New profiles address a diverse array of topics, such as the many interpretations of flaming in e-mail messages and expressions of intimacy between fathers and sons. .Updated-The Interplay website: www.oup.com/us/highered/interplay features a wealth of resources on theories, concepts, and skills addressed in the text. The website includes a section titled Now Playing that contains reviews of recent films that illustrate communication concepts covered in the text. Other ancillaries include an updated and expanded instructor's manual and a computerized test bank. Interplay: The Process of Interpersonal Communication, 9/e is ideal for freshman and sophomore courses in communication, speech communication, and interpersonal communication. |
| four horsemen of communication: The Heart of Parenting John Mordechai Gottman, Joan DeClaire, 1997 A professor of psychology details a five-step process called motion coaching that allows parents to raise a child better able to cope with his or her emotions. 35,000 first printing. |
| four horsemen of communication: The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People Stephen R. Covey, 1997 A revolutionary guidebook to achieving peace of mind by seeking the roots of human behavior in character and by learning principles rather than just practices. Covey's method is a pathway to wisdom and power. |
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