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| funny basic training quotes: Awesome Sh*t My Drill Sergeant Said Dan Caddy, 2015-06-09 The official tie-in book to the wildly popular Facebook page, featuring brand-new crazy, off-the-wall, outrageously funny, and downright “awesome” pearls of wisdom from real-life drill sergeants and instructors from all branches of the military. Sweat dries. Blood clots. Bones heal. Suck it up, buttercup. After his deployment in Afghanistan, Dan Caddy began swapping great drill sergeant stories by e-mail with other combat veterans—an exchange with friends that would grow into the dedicated Facebook page, “Awesome Sh*t My Drill Sergeant Said.” But what began as a comedic outlet has evolved into a robust online community and support network that conducts fundraisers for and donates to military charities, has helped veterans struggling with PTSD and other issues, and on numerous occasions, literally saved lives. Now, Caddy shares more great DS stories—most never before seen—in this humorous collection. Often profane, sometimes profound, yet always entertaining, these rants from real life soldiers are interspersed with lively sidebars, Top 10 lists, stories from fans, one-liners, and more. For anyone who has suffered a hard-ass manager (in uniform or not), Awesome Sh*t My Drill Sergeant Said will add a much needed dose of humor to the day. |
| funny basic training quotes: Making the Corps Thomas E. Ricks, 1998 Inside the marine corps and what it takes to become One of the few, the proud, the Marines. |
| funny basic training quotes: What I Talk About When I Talk About Running Haruki Murakami, 2009-08-11 From the best-selling author of The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle and After Dark, a rich and revelatory memoir about writing and running, and the integral impact both have made on his life. In 1982, having sold his jazz bar to devote himself to writing, Haruki Murakami began running to keep fit. A year later, he’d completed a solo course from Athens to Marathon, and now, after dozens of such races, not to mention triathlons and a slew of critically acclaimed books, he reflects upon the influence the sport has had on his life and—even more important—on his writing. Equal parts training log, travelogue, and reminiscence, this revealing memoir covers his four-month preparation for the 2005 New York City Marathon and includes settings ranging from Tokyo’s Jingu Gaien gardens, where he once shared the course with an Olympian, to the Charles River in Boston among young women who outpace him. Through this marvellous lens of sport emerges a cornucopia of memories and insights: the eureka moment when he decided to become a writer, his greatest triumphs and disappointments, his passion for vintage LPs and the experience, after the age of fifty, of seeing his race times improve and then fall back. By turns funny and sobering, playful and philosophical, What I Talk About When I Talk About Running is both for fans of this masterful yet guardedly private writer and for the exploding population of athletes who find similar satisfaction in distance running. |
| funny basic training quotes: It's Not About the Bike Lance Armstrong, 2001 The champion cyclist recounts his diagnosis with cancer, the grueling treatments during which he was given a less than twenty percent chance for survival, his surprising victory in the 1999 Tour de France, and the birth of his son. |
| funny basic training quotes: Letters to Boot Camp Hayden Hodges, 2012-05-23 From July to Sept. 2014 all book sales will go to housing our homeless veterans here in the US. Check out http: //www.gofundme.com/b34yes for more information. Thank you! Letters to Boot Camp provides the reader with a heart wrenching and awe inspiring look into the lives of a mother and her son as he made his way through Boot Camp on Parris Island. - Once they're shipped out to Boot Camp, the only things that those of us left at home can really do for them is to write and pray. And if you're lucky, smuggle in the occasional treat. (I did.) It wasn't easy, but I wrote him every day, and he wrote me as often as he could. Inside these pages you'll find our personal story, our personal letters, and a good deal of information you may find useful. I like to think of Parris Island as a place of miraculous change and growth. Yeah, change isn't easy, and growing often hurts, but the end result is worth every bit of it. - - On November 7, 2011, in a hotel lobby, I smiled and gave my son one last big hug. I told him I loved him and how proud I was of him. The last thing I said was, You go kick some ass Baby, and I'll be there waiting when you're done. He had to go, so with that I turned around and walked out. Yes, I did look back, and yes, he did grin and wave. From there he would go to MEPS one last time and then get on a bus with all his new best buddies to Parris Island where they would be made into Marines. - |
| funny basic training quotes: Murphy's Laws of Combat Marion F. Sturkey, 2009 Modern-day warriors who desire to stay alive in battle should heed Murphy's Laws of Combat - hilarious because of their inherent truths. If a professional warrior hates wannabes and whiney-babies, this is the satirical book he should be looking for. There are separate chapters for Infantry and Aviation laws of combat. Plus, readers may study Murphy's time-tested beer drinking guide and the analysis of Politically Correct Disease. The book concludes with a serious look at the military heritage of the U.S. Armed Forces. This popular and expanded second edition has been reprinted time after time. |
| funny basic training quotes: Dad Is Fat Jim Gaffigan, 2013-05-07 Jim Gaffigan never imagined he would have his own kids. Though he grew up in a large Irish-Catholic family, Jim was satisfied with the nomadic, nocturnal life of a standup comedian, and was content to be that weird uncle who lives in an apartment by himself in New York that everyone in the family speculates about. But all that changed when he married and found out his wife, Jeannie is someone who gets pregnant looking at babies. Five kids later, the comedian whose riffs on everything from Hot Pockets to Jesus have scored millions of hits on YouTube, started to tweet about the mistakes and victories of his life as a dad. Those tweets struck such a chord that he soon passed the million followers mark. But it turns out 140 characters are not enough to express all the joys and horrors of life with five kids, so he's now sharing it all in Dad Is Fat. From new parents to empty nesters to Jim's twenty-something fans, everyone will recognize their own families in these hilarious takes on everything from cousins (celebrities for little kids) to growing up in a big family (I always assumed my father had six children so he could have a sufficient lawn crew) to changing diapers in the middle of the night (like The Hurt Locker but much more dangerous) to bedtime (aka Negotiating with Terrorists). Dad is Fat is sharply observed, explosively funny, and a cry for help from a man who has realized he and his wife are outnumbered in their own home. |
| funny basic training quotes: The Martian Andy Weir, 2014-02-11 Nominated as one of America’s best-loved novels by PBS’s The Great American Read Six days ago, astronaut Mark Watney became one of the first people to walk on Mars. Now, he's sure he'll be the first person to die there. After a dust storm nearly kills him and forces his crew to evacuate while thinking him dead, Mark finds himself stranded and completely alone with no way to even signal Earth that he’s alive—and even if he could get word out, his supplies would be gone long before a rescue could arrive. Chances are, though, he won't have time to starve to death. The damaged machinery, unforgiving environment, or plain-old human error are much more likely to kill him first. But Mark isn't ready to give up yet. Drawing on his ingenuity, his engineering skills—and a relentless, dogged refusal to quit—he steadfastly confronts one seemingly insurmountable obstacle after the next. Will his resourcefulness be enough to overcome the impossible odds against him? |
| funny basic training quotes: Call Sign Chaos Jim Mattis, Bing West, 2019-09-03 #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • A clear-eyed account of learning how to lead in a chaotic world, by General Jim Mattis—the former Secretary of Defense and one of the most formidable strategic thinkers of our time—and Bing West, a former assistant secretary of defense and combat Marine. “A four-star general’s five-star memoir.”—The Wall Street Journal Call Sign Chaos is the account of Jim Mattis’s storied career, from wide-ranging leadership roles in three wars to ultimately commanding a quarter of a million troops across the Middle East. Along the way, Mattis recounts his foundational experiences as a leader, extracting the lessons he has learned about the nature of warfighting and peacemaking, the importance of allies, and the strategic dilemmas—and short-sighted thinking—now facing our nation. He makes it clear why America must return to a strategic footing so as not to continue winning battles but fighting inconclusive wars. Mattis divides his book into three parts: Direct Leadership, Executive Leadership, and Strategic Leadership. In the first part, Mattis recalls his early experiences leading Marines into battle, when he knew his troops as well as his own brothers. In the second part, he explores what it means to command thousands of troops and how to adapt your leadership style to ensure your intent is understood by your most junior troops so that they can own their mission. In the third part, Mattis describes the challenges and techniques of leadership at the strategic level, where military leaders reconcile war’s grim realities with political leaders’ human aspirations, where complexity reigns and the consequences of imprudence are severe, even catastrophic. Call Sign Chaos is a memoir of a life of warfighting and lifelong learning, following along as Mattis rises from Marine recruit to four-star general. It is a journey about learning to lead and a story about how he, through constant study and action, developed a unique leadership philosophy, one relevant to us all. |
| funny basic training quotes: Funny Ex-Wife Quotes: 100 Ways to Laugh About Your Past, Find the Humor in Heartbreak, and Heal Through Laughter Andrea Febrian, 2024-07-05 Prepare yourself for an uproarious and unexpectedly enlightening ride through the highs, lows, and twists of marriage, divorce, and everything in between! Funny Ex-Wife Quotes: 100 Ways to Laugh About Your Past, Find the Humor in Heartbreak, and Heal Through Laughter offers a unique compilation of real-life quotes and anecdotes from those who have experienced it all and found the humor to heal. This isn't your average quote book – it's a rollercoaster ride of emotions, experiences, and hard-earned wisdom that will have you nodding your head in recognition, laughing out loud, and maybe even shedding a tear or two (of laughter, of course). From the side-splitting one-liners like My ex-wife was a great housekeeper. After the divorce, she kept the house to the heart-warming tales of finding love and laughter after heartbreak, this book is a testament to the power of humor in even the toughest of times. But what really sets this book apart is the stories behind the quotes. Each chapter is filled with real-life anecdotes and experiences from people who've navigated the treacherous waters of marriage and divorce, and come out the other side with a smile on their face and a quip on their lips. You'll meet characters like John, who found solace in his model train collection after his wife left him for his best friend, and Sarah, who discovered her love of skydiving after her husband ran off with their couples' therapist. These stories are a reminder that no matter how tough things get, there's always a punchline waiting around the corner. And let's be honest – who couldn't use a little laughter in the face of life's challenges? Whether you're currently going through a divorce, have been single for a while, or are just looking for a good chuckle, this book is the perfect companion. It's like having a wise-cracking best friend in your pocket, ready to cheer you up and remind you that you're not alone in this crazy thing called love. But don't just take our word for it – dive into the pages of Funny Ex-Wife Quotes and discover for yourself why keywords like divorce, humor, marriage, laughter, relationships, healing, love, self-discovery, quotes, and moving on are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to this one-of-a-kind collection. With each turn of the page, you'll find yourself laughing a little louder, smiling a little wider, and feeling a little more hopeful about the future. So what are you waiting for? Grab your copy of Funny Ex-Wife Quotes today and get ready to LOL your way to a brighter tomorrow! As one wise divorcee put it, Divorce: when losing feels like winning – and with this book by your side, you'll feel like a winner every step of the way. Get ready to embrace the funny side of life after love, and remember: sometimes the best way to heal a broken heart is with a belly laugh. |
| funny basic training quotes: Make Your Bed Admiral William H. McRaven, 2017-04-04 Based on a Navy SEAL's inspiring graduation speech, this #1 New York Times bestseller of powerful life lessons should be read by every leader in America (Wall Street Journal). If you want to change the world, start off by making your bed. On May 17, 2014, Admiral William H. McRaven addressed the graduating class of the University of Texas at Austin on their Commencement day. Taking inspiration from the university's slogan, What starts here changes the world, he shared the ten principles he learned during Navy Seal training that helped him overcome challenges not only in his training and long Naval career, but also throughout his life; and he explained how anyone can use these basic lessons to change themselves-and the world-for the better. Admiral McRaven's original speech went viral with over 10 million views. Building on the core tenets laid out in his speech, McRaven now recounts tales from his own life and from those of people he encountered during his military service who dealt with hardship and made tough decisions with determination, compassion, honor, and courage. Told with great humility and optimism, this timeless book provides simple wisdom, practical advice, and words of encouragement that will inspire readers to achieve more, even in life's darkest moments. Powerful. --USA Today Full of captivating personal anecdotes from inside the national security vault. --Washington Post Superb, smart, and succinct. --Forbes |
| funny basic training quotes: HOW TO WIN FRIENDS & INFLUENCE PEOPLE Dale Carnegie, 2023-11-26 Dale Carnegie's 'How to Win Friends & Influence People' is a timeless self-help classic that explores the art of building successful relationships through effective communication. Written in a straightforward and engaging style, Carnegie's book provides practical advice on how to enhance social skills, improve leadership qualities, and achieve personal and professional success. The book is a must-read for anyone looking to navigate social dynamics and connect with others in a meaningful way, making it a valuable resource in today's interconnected world. With anecdotal examples and actionable tips, Carnegie's work resonates with readers of all ages and backgrounds, making it a popular choice for personal development and growth. Carnegie's ability to distill complex social principles into simple, actionable steps sets this book apart as a timeless guide for building lasting relationships and influencing others positively. Readers will benefit from Carnegie's wisdom and insight, gaining valuable tools to navigate social interactions and achieve success in their personal and professional lives. |
| funny basic training quotes: Living with a SEAL Jesse Itzler, 2015-11-03 Entrepreneur Jesse Itzler chronicles his month of living and extreme fitness training with a Navy SEAL in the New York Times and #1 LA Times bestseller Living With a Seal, now with two bonus chapters. Entrepreneur Jesse Itzler will try almost anything. His life is about being bold and risky. So when Jesse felt himself drifting on autopilot, he hired a rather unconventional trainer to live with him for a month-an accomplished Navy SEAL widely considered to be the toughest man on the planet! Living With a Seal is like a buddy movie if it starred the Fresh Prince of Bel- Air. . .and Rambo. Jesse is about as easy-going as you can get. SEAL is. . . not. Jesse and SEAL's escapades soon produce a great friendship, and Jesse gains much more than muscle. At turns hilarious and inspiring, Living With a Seal ultimately shows you the benefits of stepping out of your comfort zone. |
| funny basic training quotes: Marley & Me John Grogan, 2009-03-17 The heartwarming and unforgettable story of a family and the wondrously neurotic dog who taught them what really matters in life. Now with photos and new material. Is it possible for humans to discover the key to happiness through a bigger-than-life, bad-boy dog? Just ask the Grogans. John and Jenny were just beginning their life together. They were young and in love, with not a care in the world. Then they brought home Marley, a wiggly yellow furball of a puppy. Life would never be the same. Marley grew into a barreling, ninety-seven-pound streamroller of a Labrador retriever. He crashed through screen doors, gouged through drywall, and stole women's undergarments. Obedience school did no good -- Marley was expelled. But just as Marley joyfully refused any limits on his behavior, his love and loyalty were boundless, too. Marley remained a model of devotion, even when his family was at its wit's end. Unconditional love, they would learn, comes in many forms. Marley & Me is John Grogan's funny, unforgettable tribute to this wonderful, wildly neurotic Lab and the meaning he brought to their lives. |
| funny basic training quotes: Uncommon Type Tom Hanks, 2017-10-17 A collection of seventeen wonderful short stories showing that the legendary Tom Hanks is as talented a writer as he is an actor. “Reading Tom Hanks's Uncommon Type is like finding out that Alice Munro is also the greatest actress of our time.” —Ann Patchett, bestselling, Pulitzer Prize–winning author of The Dutch House A gentle Eastern European immigrant arrives in New York City after his family and his life have been torn apart by his country's civil war. A man who loves to bowl rolls a perfect game--and then another and then another and then many more in a row until he winds up ESPN's newest celebrity, and he must decide if the combination of perfection and celebrity has ruined the thing he loves. An eccentric billionaire and his faithful executive assistant venture into America looking for acquisitions and discover a down and out motel, romance, and a bit of real life. These are just some of the tales Tom Hanks tells in this first collection of his short stories. They are surprising, intelligent, heartwarming, and, for the millions and millions of Tom Hanks fans, an absolute must-have! |
| funny basic training quotes: Basic Jack Jacobs, David Fisher, 2012-05-08 Every American fighting man and woman share one thing in common: they have all survived basic military training. Basic tells the story of that training. Medal of Honor recipient Col. Jack Jacobs and David Fisher recount the funny, sad, dramatic, poignant, and sometimes crazy history of how America has trained its military, told through the personal accounts of those who remember the experiences as if they happened yesterday. If you've been through basic or boot camp, these memories of drill instructors, marching chants, combat training (and the gas chamber), hospital corners, and the shared feeling of triumph are guaranteed to make you smile. And those who haven't done it will understand and appreciate this life-changing experience that turns a civilian into a soldier—and in just eight weeks. |
| funny basic training quotes: War Is a Racket Smedley D. Butler, 2018-02-18 War Is a Racket is a famous anti-war book written by retired Major General Smedley Buter. In the book, Butler discusses how businesses profit from conflict. |
| funny basic training quotes: Furiously Happy Jenny Lawson, 2015-10-01 For fans of David Sedaris, Tina Fey and Caitlin Moran comes the new book from Jenny Lawson, author of the #1 New York Times bestseller Let's Pretend This Never Happened... In Let's Pretend This Never Happened, Jenny Lawson regaled readers with uproarious stories of her bizarre childhood. In her new book, Furiously Happy, she explores her lifelong battle with mental illness. A hysterical, ridiculous book about crippling depression and anxiety? That sounds like a terrible idea. And terrible ideas are what Jenny does best. As Jenny says: You can't experience pain without also experiencing the baffling and ridiculous moments of being fiercely, unapologetically, intensely and (above all) furiously happy. It's a philosophy that has - quite literally - saved her life. Jenny's first book, Let's Pretend This Never Happened, was ostensibly about family, but deep down it was about celebrating your own weirdness. Furiously Happy is a book about mental illness, but under the surface it's about embracing joy in fantastic and outrageous ways. And who doesn't need a bit more of that? |
| funny basic training quotes: Can't Hurt Me David Goggins, 2021-03-03 New York Times Bestseller Over 2.5 million copies sold For David Goggins, childhood was a nightmare -- poverty, prejudice, and physical abuse colored his days and haunted his nights. But through self-discipline, mental toughness, and hard work, Goggins transformed himself from a depressed, overweight young man with no future into a U.S. Armed Forces icon and one of the world's top endurance athletes. The only man in history to complete elite training as a Navy SEAL, Army Ranger, and Air Force Tactical Air Controller, he went on to set records in numerous endurance events, inspiring Outside magazine to name him The Fittest (Real) Man in America. In Can't Hurt Me, he shares his astonishing life story and reveals that most of us tap into only 40% of our capabilities. Goggins calls this The 40% Rule, and his story illuminates a path that anyone can follow to push past pain, demolish fear, and reach their full potential. |
| funny basic training quotes: Once a Runner John L. Parker, 2009-04-07 The undisputed classic of running novels and one of the most beloved sports books ever published, Once a Runner tells the story of an athlete’s dreams amid the turmoil of the 60s and the Vietnam war. Inspired by the author’s experience as a collegiate champion, the novel follows Quenton Cassidy, a competitive runner at fictional Southeastern University whose lifelong dream is to run a four-minute mile. He is less than a second away when the turmoil of the Vietnam War era intrudes into the staid recesses of his school’s athletic department. After he becomes involved in an athletes’ protest, Cassidy is suspended from his track team. Under the tutelage of his friend and mentor, Bruce Denton, a graduate student and former Olympic gold medalist, Cassidy gives up his scholarship, his girlfriend, and possibly his future to withdraw to a monastic retreat in the countryside and begin training for the race of his life against the greatest miler in history. A rare insider’s account of the incredibly intense lives of elite distance runners, Once a Runner is an inspiring, funny, and spot-on tale of one individual’s quest to become a champion. |
| funny basic training quotes: The Heart of a Military Mom Army Mom Strong, Elaine Brye, 2017-04-11 Do you need someone encouraging you, especially when you are learning to let go of your child to military service? How about when they are difficult places or in harm's way? Do you feel stressed or worried? You are not alone. Elaine Brye and Army Mom Strong have combined their efforts to create a powerful, emotional and inspirational pictorial book of encouragement and support for military moms of all branches. The authors are veteran military moms who have supported many moms through the challenges that come with sending a child into harm's way. The Heart of a Military Mom gives you valuable insights to help you to stand strong in the face of fear and on the home front. It is the first in a series of supportive books to inspire you to create a more fulfilling journey as a military mom. |
| funny basic training quotes: The UnDutchables Colin White, Laurie Boucke, 2006 |
| funny basic training quotes: Ask a Manager Alison Green, 2018-05-01 From the creator of the popular website Ask a Manager and New York’s work-advice columnist comes a witty, practical guide to 200 difficult professional conversations—featuring all-new advice! There’s a reason Alison Green has been called “the Dear Abby of the work world.” Ten years as a workplace-advice columnist have taught her that people avoid awkward conversations in the office because they simply don’t know what to say. Thankfully, Green does—and in this incredibly helpful book, she tackles the tough discussions you may need to have during your career. You’ll learn what to say when • coworkers push their work on you—then take credit for it • you accidentally trash-talk someone in an email then hit “reply all” • you’re being micromanaged—or not being managed at all • you catch a colleague in a lie • your boss seems unhappy with your work • your cubemate’s loud speakerphone is making you homicidal • you got drunk at the holiday party Praise for Ask a Manager “A must-read for anyone who works . . . [Alison Green’s] advice boils down to the idea that you should be professional (even when others are not) and that communicating in a straightforward manner with candor and kindness will get you far, no matter where you work.”—Booklist (starred review) “The author’s friendly, warm, no-nonsense writing is a pleasure to read, and her advice can be widely applied to relationships in all areas of readers’ lives. Ideal for anyone new to the job market or new to management, or anyone hoping to improve their work experience.”—Library Journal (starred review) “I am a huge fan of Alison Green’s Ask a Manager column. This book is even better. It teaches us how to deal with many of the most vexing big and little problems in our workplaces—and to do so with grace, confidence, and a sense of humor.”—Robert Sutton, Stanford professor and author of The No Asshole Rule and The Asshole Survival Guide “Ask a Manager is the ultimate playbook for navigating the traditional workforce in a diplomatic but firm way.”—Erin Lowry, author of Broke Millennial: Stop Scraping By and Get Your Financial Life Together |
| funny basic training quotes: I Am Ozzy Ozzy Osbourne, 2010-01-25 Heavy metal legend Ozzy Osbourne shares his unbelievable story for the first time in this tell-all memoir of sex, drugs, and rock-and-roll. Take what you thought was rock and roll excess and double it–you still wouldn't be anywhere near the dizzying life of Ozzy Osbourne. Born into a life so poor that the whole family slept in one room, music was his salvation, and his band Black Sabbath went on to change the musical landscape forever. But along with the rock and roll came the inevitable sex and drugs, and Ozzy soon fell into an epic relationship with booze and chemicals. The stories of Ozzy's days on the road are now those of legend–biting the head off a live bat, the tragic plane crash that took the life of his best friend and writing partner Randy Rhoades–but few know of the real heartbreak he suffered during those days of hard living. In the end, it was the love of his family that saved him. Told for the first time in the rocker’s hilarious and inimitable voice, Ozzy finally comes clean. |
| funny basic training quotes: Brave Enough Jessie Diggins, Todd Smith, 2020-03-10 Travel with Olympic gold medalist Jessie Diggins on her compelling journey from America’s heartland to international sports history, navigating challenges and triumphs with rugged grit and a splash of glitter Pyeongchang, February 21, 2018. In the nerve-racking final seconds of the women’s team sprint freestyle race, Jessie Diggins dug deep. Blowing past two of the best sprinters in the world, she stretched her ski boot across the finish line and lunged straight into Olympic immortality: the first ever cross-country skiing gold medal for the United States at the Winter Games. The 26-year-old Diggins, a four-time World Championship medalist, was literally a world away from the small town of Afton, Minnesota, where she first strapped on skis. Yet, for all her history-making achievements, she had never strayed far from the scrappy 12-year-old who had insisted on portaging her own canoe through the wilderness, yelling happily under the unwieldy weight on her shoulders: “Look! I’m doing it!” In Brave Enough, Jessie Diggins reveals the true story of her journey from the American Midwest into sports history. With candid charm and characteristic grit, she connects the dots from her free-spirited upbringing in the woods of Minnesota to racing in the bright spotlights of the Olympics. Going far beyond stories of races and ribbons, she describes the challenges and frustrations of becoming a serious athlete; learning how to push through and beyond physical and psychological limits; and the intense pressure of competing at the highest levels. She openly shares her harrowing struggle with bulimia, recounting both the adversity and how she healed from it in order to bring hope and understanding to others experiencing eating disorders. Between thrilling accounts of moments of triumph, Diggins shows the determination it takes to get there—the struggles and disappointments, the fun and the hard work, and the importance of listening to that small, fierce voice: I can do it. I am brave enough. |
| funny basic training quotes: Al Franken, Giant of the Senate Al Franken, 2017-05-30 From Senator Al Franken - #1 bestselling author and beloved SNL alum -- comes the story of an award-winning comedian who decided to run for office and then discovered why award-winning comedians tend not to do that. Flips the classic born-in-a-shack rise to political office tale on its head. I skipped meals to read this book - also unusual - because every page was funny. It made me deliriously happy. -- Louise Erdrich, The New York Times This is a book about an unlikely campaign that had an even more improbable ending: the closest outcome in history and an unprecedented eight-month recount saga, which is pretty funny in retrospect. It's a book about what happens when the nation's foremost progressive satirist gets a chance to serve in the United States Senate and, defying the low expectations of the pundit class, actually turns out to be good at it. It's a book about our deeply polarized, frequently depressing, occasionally inspiring political culture, written from inside the belly of the beast. In this candid personal memoir, the honorable gentleman from Minnesota takes his army of loyal fans along with him from Saturday Night Live to the campaign trail, inside the halls of Congress, and behind the scenes of some of the most dramatic and/or hilarious moments of his new career in politics. Has Al Franken become a true Giant of the Senate? Franken asks readers to decide for themselves. |
| funny basic training quotes: Above the Line Urban Meyer, 2015-10-27 The instant New York Times bestseller Remarkable lessons in leadership and team building from one of the greatest football coaches of our time. Urban Meyer has established himself as one of the elite in the annals of his sport, having lead his players to three national championships. In Above the Line, he offers readers his unparalleled insights into leadership, team building, and the keys to empowering people to achieve things they might never have thought possible. Meyer shares his groundbreaking game plan—the game plan followed every day in the Ohio State Buckeyes’ championship season—for creating a culture of success built on trust and a commitment to a common purpose. Packed with real life examples from Meyer’s storied career, Above the Line delivers wisdom and inspiration for taking control and turning setbacks into victories for a team, a family, or a Fortune 500 company. |
| funny basic training quotes: Shut Up, Legs! Jens Voigt, James D. Startt, 2016-05-03 Beloved German cyclist Jens Voigt isn't a superstar in the traditional sense of the word. Although he won three stages of the Tour De France--and wore the yellow jersey twice--Voigt never claimed an overall victory. He became a star because he embodies qualities that go beyond winning and losing: sacrifice, selflessness, reliability, and devotion. European and American crowds were drawn to his aggressive riding style, outgoing nature, and refreshing realness. Voigt adopted a tireless work ethic that he carried throughout his career. In Shut Up, Legs! (a legendary Jensism), Voigt reflects upon his childhood in East Germany, juggling life as a professional cyclist and a father of six, and how he remained competitive without doping. Shut Up, Legs! offers a rare glimpse inside his heart and mind. |
| funny basic training quotes: The Bridge Kingdom Danielle L. Jensen, 2024-10-15 NATIONAL BESTSELLER • “The Bridge Kingdom is heart-pounding romance and intense action wrapped in a spellbinding world. I was hooked from the first page!”—Elise Kova, author of A Deal with the Elf King The iconic Bridge Kingdom series begins: a sweeping, sizzling fantasy romance filled with political intrigue and passionate love, from the New York Times bestselling author of A Fate Inked in Blood. A warrior princess trained in isolation, Lara is driven by two certainties. The first is that King Aren of the Bridge Kingdom is her enemy. And the second is that she’ll be the one to bring him to his knees. The only route through a storm-ravaged world, the Bridge Kingdom of Ithicana enriches itself and deprives its rivals, including Lara’s homeland. So when she’s sent there as a bride under the guise of peace, Lara is prepared to do whatever it takes to fracture its impenetrable defenses—and the defenses of its king. Yet as she infiltrates her new home and gains a deeper understanding of the war to possess the bridge, Lara begins to question whether she’s the hero or the villain. As her feelings for her husband transform from frosty hostility to fierce passion, Lara must choose which kingdom she’ll save . . . and which she’ll destroy. Includes two bonus chapters, “The Wedding” from Ahnna’s point of view and “The Capture” from Jor’s point of view Don’t miss any of Danielle L. Jensen's Bridge Kingdom series: THE BRIDGE KINGDOM • THE TRAITOR QUEEN • THE INADEQUATE HEIR • THE ENDLESS WAR • THE TWISTED THRONE (April 8, 2025) |
| funny basic training quotes: The Things They Carried Tim O'Brien, 2009-10-13 A classic work of American literature that has not stopped changing minds and lives since it burst onto the literary scene, The Things They Carried is a ground-breaking meditation on war, memory, imagination, and the redemptive power of storytelling. The Things They Carried depicts the men of Alpha Company: Jimmy Cross, Henry Dobbins, Rat Kiley, Mitchell Sanders, Norman Bowker, Kiowa, and the character Tim O’Brien, who has survived his tour in Vietnam to become a father and writer at the age of forty-three. Taught everywhere—from high school classrooms to graduate seminars in creative writing—it has become required reading for any American and continues to challenge readers in their perceptions of fact and fiction, war and peace, courage and fear and longing. The Things They Carried won France's prestigious Prix du Meilleur Livre Etranger and the Chicago Tribune Heartland Prize; it was also a finalist for the Pulitzer Prize and the National Book Critics Circle Award. |
| funny basic training quotes: Kid President's Guide to Being Awesome Robby Novak, Brad Montague, 2015-02-03 This is LIFE, people! You've got air coming through your nose! You've got a heartbeat! That means it's time to do something! announces Kid President in his book, Kid President's Guide to Being Awesome. From YouTube sensation (75 million views and counting!) to Hub Network summer series star, Kid President—ten-year-old Robby Novak—and his videos have inspired millions to dance more, to celebrate life, and to throw spontaneous parades. In his Guide to Being Awesome, Kid President pulls together lists of awesome ideas to help the world, awesome interviews with his awesome celebrity friends (he has interviewed Beyoncé!), and a step-by-step guide to make pretty much everything a little bit awesomer. Grab a corn dog and settle in to your favorite comfy chair. Pretend it's your birthday! (In fact, treat everyone like it's THEIR birthday!) Kid President is here with a 240-page, full-color Guide to Being Awesome that'll spread love and inspire the world. |
| funny basic training quotes: Anthony Bourdain Quotes Anthony Bourdain, 2016-07-04 The Best Anthony Bourdain Quotation Book ever Published. Special Edition This book of Anthony Bourdain quotes contains only the rarest and most valuable quotations ever recorded about Anthony Bourdain, authored by a team of experienced researchers. Hundreds of hours have been spent in sourcing, editing and verifying only the best quotations about Anthony Bourdain for your reading pleasure, saving you time and expensive referencing costs. This book contains over 37 pages of quotations which are immaculately presented and formatted for premium consumption. Be inspired by these Anthony Bourdain quotes; this book is a niche classic which will have you coming back to enjoy time and time again. What's Inside: Contains only the best quotations on Anthony Bourdain Over 37 pages of premium content Beautifully formatted and edited for maximum enjoyment Makes for the perfect niche gift for you or someone special Enjoy such quotes such as: Kitchen Confidential' wasn't a cautionary or an expose. I wrote it as an entertainment for New York tri-state area line cooks and restaurant lifers, basically; I had no expectation that it would move as far west as Philadelphia. Anthony Bourdain An employer of mine back in the '80s was kind enough to take me on after a rough patch, and it made a big difference in my life that I knew I was the sort of person who showed up on time. It's a basic tell of character. Anthony Bourdain Anyone who doesn't have a great time in San Francisco is pretty much dead to me. Anthony Bourdain Anyone who's a chef, who loves food, ultimately knows that all that matters is: 'Is it good? Does it give pleasure?' Anthony Bourdain As I see it, fast food outfits have targeted small children with their advertising in a very effective way. You know, it's clowns and kid's toys and bright colors and things like that. Anthony Bourdain ... And much more! Click Add to Cart and Enjoy! |
| funny basic training quotes: A Separate Peace John Knowles, 2022-05-24 PBS's The Great American Read named it one of America's best-loved novels. A Separate Peace has been a bestseller in the United States for nearly thirty years, and it is ageless in its depiction of youth during a time when the entire country was losing its innocence to World War II. A Separate Peace is a horrific and brilliant fable about the dark side of adolescence set at a boys' boarding school in New England during the early years of World War II. Gene is an introverted, lonely intellectual. Phineas is a reckless athlete who is attractive and taunts others. Like the war itself, what happens between the two friends one summer robs these guys and their world of their innocence. |
| funny basic training quotes: Run for Good Christine Many Luff, 2018-11-16 Have you always wanted to learn to run and experience the life-changing benefits of running? Or have you tried to start running in the past, but just couldn't stick with it? Maybe you thought you weren't meant to be a runner, or just didn't have the time, energy, motivation, or willpower to keep running. Whether you're brand-new to running, tried it in the past without much success, or you just can't get into a running groove, RUN FOR GOOD gives you a comprehensive roadmap to starting and maintaining a lifelong running habit. Based on her years of experience as a runner, certified running coach and trainer, and fitness writer/researcher, author Christine Luff gives you an expert-guided, step-by-step plan for creating an enduring running habit. In this book, you'll learn: -Tips on how to run, what to wear, and how to make running easier -How to establish a habit loop to make running part of your regular routine -How to deal with inevitable setbacks and roadblocks that pop up -How to run smartly and safely with the right training schedules -Tips, tricks, and effective strategies to stay motivated to keep running -Strategies for racing, proper nutrition, injury prevention to keep your running habit going -How to avoid issues and problems that have derailed your healthy habits in the past -Advice on how to make running a rewarding and fun part of your life. This ultimate guide to running will get you started on the right foot with running, help you develop (or re-discover) a love and gratitude for running, and inspire and motivate you to keep running - for good. |
| funny basic training quotes: I Had a Black Dog Matthew Johnstone, 2012-03-01 'I Had a Black Dog says with wit, insight, economy and complete understanding what other books take 300 pages to say. Brilliant and indispensable.' - Stephen Fry 'Finally, a book about depression that isn't a prescriptive self-help manual. Johnston's deftly expresses how lonely and isolating depression can be for sufferers. Poignant and humorous in equal measure.' Sunday Times There are many different breeds of Black Dog affecting millions of people from all walks of life. The Black Dog is an equal opportunity mongrel. It was Winston Churchill who popularized the phrase Black Dog to describe the bouts of depression he experienced for much of his life. Matthew Johnstone, a sufferer himself, has written and illustrated this moving and uplifting insight into what it is like to have a Black Dog as a companion and how he learned to tame it and bring it to heel. |
| funny basic training quotes: The Noel Diary Richard Paul Evans, 2018-10 Follows the experiences of a man who, in the wake of estrangements and losses, is given a chance to rewrite and rediscover his true past. |
| funny basic training quotes: Starting Strength Mark Rippetoe, 2005-07-01 |
| funny basic training quotes: The Sunshine Soldiers Peter Tauber, 2002 Shedding new light on post-Vietnam War American society, this revised edition of a personal journal first published in 1971 chronicles a soldier's seven weeks of basic training during the 1960s. Wry humour, deadpan delivery, and ironic insight reflect both the shattered innocence and conflicted patriotism of a generation and the definitive tone that has come to represent the 1960s in contemporary culture. Journalistic detail and narrative development of each week's events challenge traditional patriotic images and speak to the current debates of political and military authoritarianism. |
| funny basic training quotes: The Doctor's Book of Humorous Quotations Howard J. Bennett, 2001 This entertaining book presents hundreds of humorous jokes, quotations, and one-liners compiled from a variety of sources (medical literature, books, magazines, the internet, movies, television, remarks made at conferences or rounds, lectures, comic routines). The text is organized alphabetically allowing readers to browse through the book randomly, or focus on particular topics of interest. Sample subject headings include Academia, Aphorisms, Atrophy, Bedside Manner, Beepers, Case Reports, Chicken Soup, Dieting, Epitaphs, Fatigue, Health Food, Insanity, Jogging, Lab Tests, Lawyers, Middle Age, Motherhood, Night Calls, Obesity, Phobias, Quacks, Retirement, Snoring, Teenagers, Turfing, Ulcers, Vacations, Wellness, Zoonoses. There is cross-referencing throughout the book for easy location of additional topics of interest. Offers nuggets of wisdom within humorous one-liners Provides a quick laugh or pick-me-up at the end of a busy day Helps promote better communication among colleagues, students, and patients Material in this book can be used during lectures and hospital rounds, conferences, with office staff, and by speakers who need funny lines to spice up their presentations to medical professionals |
| funny basic training quotes: Jackie Robinson in Quotes Danny Peary, 2016-04-19 This book uses quotes to narrate the life and career of Jackie Robinson, the first African American to play Major League Baseball and one of the most famous players of all time, just in time for Father's Day and the 70th anniversary celebration of Robinson's first MLB début.Jackie Robinson was a Hall-of-Fame second baseman for the Brooklyn Dodgers. He was most famous for breaking the baseball color line with the Dodgers on April 15, 1947, though he was also known for his strong character and political activism that contributed to the Civil Rights Movement. Every year on April 15, all players in the MLB recognize Jackie Robinson Day by wearing Jackie's number, 42. He was an inspiration to players, fans and underdogs around the world. With Baseball Immortal: Jackie Robinson, Danny Peary takes you on an incredible, unique journey to a time of great progress in America and some really good baseball. Get a first-hand, 360-degree look at one of America's greatest and most important athletes through his words and the words of those around him - from his outspoken wife, Rachel Robinson, his childhood influencers, fans, other baseball greats and more. This book is perfect for baseball fans and historians across the country, especially since the book will publish in time for Father's Day gifts. Baseball fans will get an advantage reading about Robinson's life just in time to celebrate major anniversaries of the great player. In 2016 and 2017, the MLB will commemorate the 70th anniversaries of Robinson's first debuts in the minor leagues and in the major leagues with the Dodgers, along with other anniversaries like the 35th anniversary of his induction into the Hall of Fame. |
r/funny - Reddit
r/funny: Reddit's largest humor depository. Memes of any sort are expressly forbidden. This includes any variety of memetic image or video format, any footage or photographs of memes …
Best Funny Posts - Reddit
Screenshots of Black people being hilarious or insightful on social media, it doesn't need to just be twitter but obviously that is best.
Funny India - Reddit
If a given piece of content has appeared on r/Funny before, do not post it. Sites like KarmaDecay and TinEye can help to determine the uniqueness of a given submission, but since neither site …
r/DadJokes - the best (and worst) Dad Jokes on reddit
Welcome! This is a friendly place for those cringe-worthy and (maybe) funny attempts at humour that we call dad jokes. Often (but not always) a verbal or visual pun, if it elicited a snort or face …
Minecraft Troll Commands : r/MinecraftCommands - Reddit
Jan 23, 2022 · The subreddit for all things related to Modded Minecraft for Minecraft Java Edition --- This subreddit was originally created for discussion around the FTB launcher and its …
Funniest/interesting character names : r/wow - Reddit
Really only funny because it's so stupid but my 12-13 year old main's name is cleverly named Dwarffguy. (I was 8-9 years old) I unfortunately had to add the 2nd F when I transferred realms …
r/dankmemes - Reddit
reposting a meme you saw on hot because you thought it was really funny; your post contains an advice animal format; you post an image with no caption and use the title as the text; posting …
Funny Pics - Reddit
A woman is driving a sports car around Hollywood and Los Angeles, California, with 'Thor the Great Dane' riding in the passenger seat. .
Funny Text-To-Speak Lines. : r/discordapp - Reddit
Jan 13, 2017 · This will be extremely long and annoying, but funny. Discord also describes emojis, so have fun with that. Namely, pile of feces, hands clapping, fork and knife, etc. Also, don't …
What is the Funniest Joke You've Ever Heard/Read?
A kindergarten teacher is trying to explain to her class the definition of the word "definitely". To make sure the students have a good understanding of the word, she asks them to use it in a …
r/funny - Reddit
r/funny: Reddit's largest humor depository. Memes of any sort are expressly forbidden. This includes any variety of memetic image or video format, any footage or photographs of memes …
Best Funny Posts - Reddit
Screenshots of Black people being hilarious or insightful on social media, it doesn't need to just be twitter but obviously that is best.
Funny India - Reddit
If a given piece of content has appeared on r/Funny before, do not post it. Sites like KarmaDecay and TinEye can help to determine the uniqueness of a given submission, but since neither site …
r/DadJokes - the best (and worst) Dad Jokes on reddit
Welcome! This is a friendly place for those cringe-worthy and (maybe) funny attempts at humour that we call dad jokes. Often (but not always) a verbal or visual pun, if it elicited a snort or face …
Minecraft Troll Commands : r/MinecraftCommands - Reddit
Jan 23, 2022 · The subreddit for all things related to Modded Minecraft for Minecraft Java Edition --- This subreddit was originally created for discussion around the FTB launcher and its …
Funniest/interesting character names : r/wow - Reddit
Really only funny because it's so stupid but my 12-13 year old main's name is cleverly named Dwarffguy. (I was 8-9 years old) I unfortunately had to add the 2nd F when I transferred realms …
r/dankmemes - Reddit
reposting a meme you saw on hot because you thought it was really funny; your post contains an advice animal format; you post an image with no caption and use the title as the text; posting …
Funny Pics - Reddit
A woman is driving a sports car around Hollywood and Los Angeles, California, with 'Thor the Great Dane' riding in the passenger seat. .
Funny Text-To-Speak Lines. : r/discordapp - Reddit
Jan 13, 2017 · This will be extremely long and annoying, but funny. Discord also describes emojis, so have fun with that. Namely, pile of feces, hands clapping, fork and knife, etc. Also, don't …
What is the Funniest Joke You've Ever Heard/Read?
A kindergarten teacher is trying to explain to her class the definition of the word "definitely". To make sure the students have a good understanding of the word, she asks them to use it in a …
