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| funny opening lines for speeches: Speaking My Mind Ronald Reagan, 2004-08 The most important speeches of America's Great Communicator: Here, in his own words, is the record of Ronald Reagan's remarkable political career and historic eight-year presidency. |
| funny opening lines for speeches: Present! a Techie's Guide to Public Speaking Poornima Vijayashanker, Karen Catlin, 2015-11-02 The ultimate interactive public speaking guide from tech speakers Poornima Vijayashanker and Karen Catlin that prepares and encourages techies to discover their expertise, confidently share it, and successfully level up in their careers. Techies around the world can now jump start and grow their speaking careers with the book, Present! A Techie's Guide to Public Speaking, written by tech leaders, Poornima Vijayashanker and Karen Catlin. The book serves as a resource for technology professionals who want or need to develop the skills to communicate their expertise effectively, whether in a meeting at work or delivering an engaging talk at a conference. Poornima, who is the founder of Femgineer and the founding engineer of Mint.com, collaborated with former Adobe vice president and founder of Karen Catlin Consulting, Karen Catlin, to compile and share their lessons, tips, and techniques learned from their own experiences as professional tech speakers. Karen and I wanted to write this book so that our fellow techies would have a comprehensive resource to help them with their own public speaking endeavors. So many folks in the tech industry have amazing ideas and experience, but they often feel stuck on how to present them effectively. Also, our hope is that more women will be inspired by our stories and encouraged to get out there and share their own valuable expertise through public speaking in order to boost representation of women tech speakers, Poornima said. Present! covers public speaking from A to Z. Through stories, examples, and interactive exercises, Poornima and Karen dive into topics including, overcoming stage fright, exploring personal speaking style, creating the right talk for the right audience, polishing presence and delivery, and nailing any type of talk, whether it's a lightning or long-form talk or being part of a panel. Karen said, Even though Poornima and I are professional speakers, we felt it was important to share our own feelings of nerves and uncertainty, and bumps we've had along the way - and sometimes continue to experience. It was important for us to communicate that no one is perfect and it really is okay when talks don't always go according to plan. Our hope is that by being open, we'll be able to give others the confidence and the techniques to handle situations when they arise, deliver an amazing presentation, and most importantly, have FUN! |
| funny opening lines for speeches: Humor That Works Andrew Tarvin, 2019-04 Humor That Works is a business book on humor. No, that's not an oxymoron. It really is a business book and it really is about getting better results by having more fun. Because people who use humor in the workplace are more productive, less stressed, and happier. No joke; sources included. |
| funny opening lines for speeches: How to Tell a Joke Marcus Tullius Cicero, 2021-03-30 Timeless advice about how to use humor to win over any audience Can jokes win a hostile room, a hopeless argument, or even an election? You bet they can, according to Cicero, and he knew what he was talking about. One of Rome’s greatest politicians, speakers, and lawyers, Cicero was also reputedly one of antiquity’s funniest people. After he was elected commander-in-chief and head of state, his enemies even started calling him “the stand-up Consul.” How to Tell a Joke provides a lively new translation of Cicero’s essential writing on humor alongside that of the later Roman orator and educator Quintilian. The result is a timeless practical guide to how a well-timed joke can win over any audience. As powerful as jokes can be, they are also hugely risky. The line between a witty joke and an offensive one isn’t always clear. Cross it and you’ll look like a clown, or worse. Here, Cicero and Quintilian explore every aspect of telling jokes—while avoiding costly mistakes. Presenting the sections on humor in Cicero’s On the Ideal Orator and Quintilian’s The Education of the Orator, complete with an enlightening introduction and the original Latin on facing pages, How to Tell a Joke examines the risks and rewards of humor and analyzes basic types that readers can use to write their own jokes. Filled with insight, wit, and examples, including more than a few lawyer jokes, How to Tell a Joke will appeal to anyone interested in humor or the art of public speaking. |
| funny opening lines for speeches: Wedding Toasts 101 Pete Honsberger, 2019-11-12 Write and present a memorable wedding toast with this light-hearted, humorous guide that gives you all the tools you’ll need for a successful speech—the perfect gift for any best man or maid of honor. As much as it’s an honor to be chosen as the best man or maid of honor at a wedding, giving the perfect speech can sometimes be nerve-wracking. Delivering a crowd-pleasing toast at the reception that has the right amount of humor and sentimentality is a daunting undertaking, no matter how advanced your public speaking skills are. Pete Honsberger’s guide to giving the perfect wedding toast provides even the most nervous of public speakers with all the tools and advice they need for writing and presenting the best toast ever. After witnessing speeches both good and bad, Honsberger shares a few bits of wisdom he’s learned along the way, providing building blocks to creating an unforgettable story along with helpful speech prompts, and the perfect checklist that will turn a potentially scary obligation into a golden opportunity. Wedding Toasts 101 presents a fun and simple way to write a successful wedding toast without all the stress so you can spend less time worrying and more time celebrating the happy couple. |
| funny opening lines for speeches: Winning with One-Liners Pat Williams, 2002-08-15 Laughter is power. Nothing livens up a presentation like well-placed jokes, which can take an audience from bored disinterest to rapt attention in seconds. In this ultimate collection of one-liners, author Pat Williams, one of the country's top motivational and inspirational speakers and senior vice president of the Orlando Magic, shares the jokes he has been using to win over audiences for over forty years. Arranged into more than 200 categories—from airlines and politics to world conditions and zoos—these 3,400 battle-tested funnies, delivered before a rich variety of audiences, will keep readers roaring. While many other joke books offer material that is either not very funny or off-color, Winning with One-Liners provides clean, wholesome entertainment for all audiences. Sometimes we all need a good laugh, and Pat Williams shows how to do it right in this indispensable book for all speakers. |
| funny opening lines for speeches: Joan Garry's Guide to Nonprofit Leadership Joan Garry, 2017-03-06 Nonprofit leadership is messy Nonprofits leaders are optimistic by nature. They believe with time, energy, smarts, strategy and sheer will, they can change the world. But as staff or board leader, you know nonprofits present unique challenges. Too many cooks, not enough money, an abundance of passion. It’s enough to make you feel overwhelmed and alone. The people you help need you to be successful. But there are so many obstacles: a micromanaging board that doesn’t understand its true role; insufficient fundraising and donors who make unreasonable demands; unclear and inconsistent messaging and marketing; a leader who’s a star in her sector but a difficult boss… And yet, many nonprofits do thrive. Joan Garry’s Guide to Nonprofit Leadership will show you how to do just that. Funny, honest, intensely actionable, and based on her decades of experience, this is the book Joan Garry wishes she had when she led GLAAD out of a financial crisis in 1997. Joan will teach you how to: Build a powerhouse board Create an impressive and sustainable fundraising program Become seen as a ‘workplace of choice’ Be a compelling public face of your nonprofit This book will renew your passion for your mission and organization, and help you make a bigger difference in the world. |
| funny opening lines for speeches: Presentation Zen Garr Reynolds, 2009-04-15 FOREWORD BY GUY KAWASAKI Presentation designer and internationally acclaimed communications expert Garr Reynolds, creator of the most popular Web site on presentation design and delivery on the Net — presentationzen.com — shares his experience in a provocative mix of illumination, inspiration, education, and guidance that will change the way you think about making presentations with PowerPoint or Keynote. Presentation Zen challenges the conventional wisdom of making slide presentations in today’s world and encourages you to think differently and more creatively about the preparation, design, and delivery of your presentations. Garr shares lessons and perspectives that draw upon practical advice from the fields of communication and business. Combining solid principles of design with the tenets of Zen simplicity, this book will help you along the path to simpler, more effective presentations. |
| funny opening lines for speeches: Creativity John Cleese, 2020-09-08 The legendary comedian, actor, and writer of Monty Python, Fawlty Towers, and A Fish Called Wanda fame shares his key ideas about creativity: that it’s a learnable, improvable skill. “Many people have written about creativity, but although they were very, very clever, they weren't actually creative. I like to think I'm writing about it from the inside.”—John Cleese You might think that creativity is some mysterious, rare gift—one that only a few possess. But you’d be wrong. As John Cleese shows in this short, practical, and often amusing guide, creativity is a skill that anyone can acquire. Drawing on his lifelong experience as a writer, Cleese shares his insights into the nature of creativity and offers advice on how to get your own inventive juices flowing. What do you need to do to get yourself in the right frame of mind? When do you know that you’ve come up with an idea that might be worth pursuing? What should you do if you think you’ve hit a brick wall? We can all be more creative. John Cleese shows us how. |
| funny opening lines for speeches: The Message of You Judy Carter, 2013-02-19 Motivational humorist Judy Carter believes ordinary people have the ability to find the extraordinary stories tucked away deep inside of them, stories that not only can make a difference in the lives of others but also can result in a money-making career for the storyteller. In her previous bestseller, The Comedy Bible, Judy taught everyday people how to turn their problems into punch lines. Now, she is helping professional speakers, techies, entrepreneurs, survivors, and even complete novices to transform their tragedies and triumphs into hilarious and motivational speeches that not only educate, inspire, and entertain but also pay the rent.--From publisher description. |
| funny opening lines for speeches: Do You Talk Funny? David Nihill, 2016-03-08 Public speaking can be terrifying. For David Nihill, the idea of standing in front of an audience was scarier than cliff jumping into a thorny pit of spiders and mothers-in-law. Without a parachute or advanced weaponry. Something had to change. In what doesn't sound like the best plan ever, David decided to overcome his fears by pretending to be an accomplished comedian called Irish Dave for one full year, crashing as many comedy clubs, festivals, and shows as possible. One part of the plan was at least logical: he was already Irish and already called Dave. In one year, David went from being deathly afraid of public speaking to hosting a business conference, regularly performing stand-up comedy and winning storytelling competitions in front of packed houses. And he did it by learning from some of the best public speakers in the world: stand-up comedians. Do You Talk Funny?: 7 Comedy Habits to Become a Better (and Funnier) Public Speaker shows how the key principles of stand-up comedy can be applied to your speaking engagements and presentations to make you funnier, more interesting, and better looking. (Or at least two of the three.) Whether you are preparing for a business presentation, giving a wedding toast, defending your thesis, raising money from investors, or simply want to take on something you're afraid of, this book will take you from sweaty to stage-ready. You'll learn how to: - Craft a story and content that your audience will want to listen to - Find the funniest parts of your material and how to get to them faster - Deal with stage fright - Master the two most important parts of your performance: timing and delivery Ten percent of the author's proceeds from this book will go to Arash Bayatmakou via Help Hope Live until he is fully back on his feet and thereafter to one of the many facing the same challenges after suffering a severe spinal cord injury. |
| funny opening lines for speeches: The Road to Character David Brooks, 2015-04-14 #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • David Brooks challenges us to rebalance the scales between the focus on external success—“résumé virtues”—and our core principles. NAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY THE ECONOMIST With the wisdom, humor, curiosity, and sharp insights that have brought millions of readers to his New York Times column and his previous bestsellers, David Brooks has consistently illuminated our daily lives in surprising and original ways. In The Social Animal, he explored the neuroscience of human connection and how we can flourish together. Now, in The Road to Character, he focuses on the deeper values that should inform our lives. Looking to some of the world’s greatest thinkers and inspiring leaders, Brooks explores how, through internal struggle and a sense of their own limitations, they have built a strong inner character. Labor activist Frances Perkins understood the need to suppress parts of herself so that she could be an instrument in a larger cause. Dwight Eisenhower organized his life not around impulsive self-expression but considered self-restraint. Dorothy Day, a devout Catholic convert and champion of the poor, learned as a young woman the vocabulary of simplicity and surrender. Civil rights pioneers A. Philip Randolph and Bayard Rustin learned reticence and the logic of self-discipline, the need to distrust oneself even while waging a noble crusade. Blending psychology, politics, spirituality, and confessional, The Road to Character provides an opportunity for us to rethink our priorities, and strive to build rich inner lives marked by humility and moral depth. “Joy,” David Brooks writes, “is a byproduct experienced by people who are aiming for something else. But it comes.” Praise for The Road to Character “A hyper-readable, lucid, often richly detailed human story.”—The New York Times Book Review “This profound and eloquent book is written with moral urgency and philosophical elegance.”—Andrew Solomon, author of Far from the Tree and The Noonday Demon “A powerful, haunting book that works its way beneath your skin.”—The Guardian “Original and eye-opening . . . Brooks is a normative version of Malcolm Gladwell, culling from a wide array of scientists and thinkers to weave an idea bigger than the sum of its parts.”—USA Today |
| funny opening lines for speeches: Made to Stick Chip Heath, Dan Heath, 2007-01-02 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • The instant classic about why some ideas thrive, why others die, and how to make your ideas stick. “Anyone interested in influencing others—to buy, to vote, to learn, to diet, to give to charity or to start a revolution—can learn from this book.”—The Washington Post Mark Twain once observed, “A lie can get halfway around the world before the truth can even get its boots on.” His observation rings true: Urban legends, conspiracy theories, and bogus news stories circulate effortlessly. Meanwhile, people with important ideas—entrepreneurs, teachers, politicians, and journalists—struggle to make them “stick.” In Made to Stick, Chip and Dan Heath reveal the anatomy of ideas that stick and explain ways to make ideas stickier, such as applying the human scale principle, using the Velcro Theory of Memory, and creating curiosity gaps. Along the way, we discover that sticky messages of all kinds—from the infamous “kidney theft ring” hoax to a coach’s lessons on sportsmanship to a vision for a new product at Sony—draw their power from the same six traits. Made to Stick will transform the way you communicate. It’s a fast-paced tour of success stories (and failures): the Nobel Prize-winning scientist who drank a glass of bacteria to prove a point about stomach ulcers; the charities who make use of the Mother Teresa Effect; the elementary-school teacher whose simulation actually prevented racial prejudice. Provocative, eye-opening, and often surprisingly funny, Made to Stick shows us the vital principles of winning ideas—and tells us how we can apply these rules to making our own messages stick. |
| funny opening lines for speeches: Speak Like Churchill, Stand Like Lincoln James C. Humes, 2009-02-19 Turn any presentation into a landmark occasion “I love this book. I’ve followed Humes's lessons for years, and he combines them all into one compact, hard-hitting resource. Get this book on your desk now.”—Chris Matthews, Hardball Ever wish you could captivate your boardroom with the opening line of your presentation, like Winston Churchill in his most memorable speeches? Or want to command attention by looming larger than life before your audience, much like Abraham Lincoln when, standing erect and wearing a top hat, he towered over seven feet? Now, you can master presentation skills, wow your audience, and shoot up the corporate ladder by unlocking the secrets of history’s greatest speakers. Author, historian, and world-renowned speaker James C. Humes—who wrote speeches for five American presidents—shows you how great leaders through the ages used simple yet incredibly effective tricks to speak, persuade, and win throngs of fans and followers. Inside, you'll discover how Napoleon Bonaparte mastered the use of the pregnant pause to grab attention, how Lady Margaret Thatcher punctuated her most serious speeches with the use of subtle props, how Ronald Reagan could win even the most hostile crowd with carefully timed wit, and much, much more. Whether you're addressing a small nation or a large staff meeting, you'll want to master the tips and tricks in Speak Like Churchill, Stand Like Lincoln. |
| funny opening lines for speeches: The Last Lecture Randy Pausch, Jeffrey Zaslow, 2010 The author, a computer science professor diagnosed with terminal cancer, explores his life, the lessons that he has learned, how he has worked to achieve his childhood dreams, and the effect of his diagnosis on him and his family. |
| funny opening lines for speeches: Grit Angela Duckworth, 2016-05-03 In this instant New York Times bestseller, Angela Duckworth shows anyone striving to succeed that the secret to outstanding achievement is not talent, but a special blend of passion and persistence she calls “grit.” “Inspiration for non-geniuses everywhere” (People). The daughter of a scientist who frequently noted her lack of “genius,” Angela Duckworth is now a celebrated researcher and professor. It was her early eye-opening stints in teaching, business consulting, and neuroscience that led to her hypothesis about what really drives success: not genius, but a unique combination of passion and long-term perseverance. In Grit, she takes us into the field to visit cadets struggling through their first days at West Point, teachers working in some of the toughest schools, and young finalists in the National Spelling Bee. She also mines fascinating insights from history and shows what can be gleaned from modern experiments in peak performance. Finally, she shares what she’s learned from interviewing dozens of high achievers—from JP Morgan CEO Jamie Dimon to New Yorker cartoon editor Bob Mankoff to Seattle Seahawks Coach Pete Carroll. “Duckworth’s ideas about the cultivation of tenacity have clearly changed some lives for the better” (The New York Times Book Review). Among Grit’s most valuable insights: any effort you make ultimately counts twice toward your goal; grit can be learned, regardless of IQ or circumstances; when it comes to child-rearing, neither a warm embrace nor high standards will work by themselves; how to trigger lifelong interest; the magic of the Hard Thing Rule; and so much more. Winningly personal, insightful, and even life-changing, Grit is a book about what goes through your head when you fall down, and how that—not talent or luck—makes all the difference. This is “a fascinating tour of the psychological research on success” (The Wall Street Journal). |
| funny opening lines for speeches: Very Good Lives J. K. Rowling, 2015-04-14 J.K. Rowling, one of the world's most inspiring writers, shares her wisdom and advice. In 2008, J.K. Rowling delivered a deeply affecting commencement speech at Harvard University. Now published for the first time in book form, VERY GOOD LIVES presents J.K. Rowling's words of wisdom for anyone at a turning point in life. How can we embrace failure? And how can we use our imagination to better both ourselves and others? Drawing from stories of her own post-graduate years, the world famous author addresses some of life's most important questions with acuity and emotional force. |
| funny opening lines for speeches: The Lost Art of the Great Speech Richard Dowis, 2000 Splashy slides, confident body language, and a lot of eye contact are fine and well. But if a speech is rambling, illogical, or just plain boring, the impact will be lost. Now everyone can learn to give powerful, on-target speeches that capture an audience's attention and drive home a message. The key is not just in the delivery techniques, but in tapping into the power of language. Prepared by an award-winning writer, this authoritative speech-writing guide covers every essential element of a great speech, including outlining and organizing, beginning with a bang, making use of action verbs and vivid nouns, and handling questions from the audience. Plus, the book includes excerpts from some of history's most memorable speeches--eloquent words to contemplate and emulate. |
| funny opening lines for speeches: A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Future Michael J. Fox, 2010-04-13 Michael J. Fox abandoned high school to pursue an acting career, but went on to receive honorary degrees from several universities and garner the highest accolades for his acting, as well as for his writing. In his new book, he inspires and motivates graduates to recognize opportunities, maximize their abilities, and roll with the punches--all with his trademark optimism, warmth, and humor. In A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Future, Michael draws on his own life experiences to make a case that real learning happens when life goes skidding sideways. He writes of coming to Los Angeles from Canada at age eighteen and attempting to make his way as an actor. Fox offers up a comically skewed take on how, in his own way, he fulfilled the requirements of a college syllabus. He learned Economics as a starving artist; an unexpected turn as a neophyte activist schooled him in Political Science; and his approach to Comparative Literature involved stacking books up against their movie versions. Replete with personal stories and hilarious anecdotes, Michael J. Fox's new book is the perfect gift for graduates. |
| funny opening lines for speeches: I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell Tucker Max, 2012-03-01 The “highly entertaining and thoroughly reprehensible” #1 New York Times bestseller—now with sixteen pages of photos and a new introduction (The New York Times). My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole. I get excessively drunk at inappropriate times, disregard social norms, indulge every whim, ignore the consequences of my actions, mock idiots and posers, sleep with more women than is safe or reasonable, and just generally act like a raging dickhead. But, I do contribute to humanity in one very important way: I share my adventures with the world. --from the Introduction Actual reader feedback: I find it truly appalling that there are people in the world like you. You are a disgusting, vile, repulsive, repugnant, foul creature. Because of you, I don’t believe in God anymore. No just God would allow someone like you to exist. I’ll stay with God as my lord, but you are my savior. I just finished reading your brilliant stories, and I laughed so hard I almost vomited. I want to bring that kind of joy to people. You’re an artist of the highest order and a true humanitarian to boot. I'm in both shock and awe at how much I want to be you. |
| funny opening lines for speeches: Comedy Writing Secrets Melvin Helitzer, 1992 A comprehensive guide to writing, selling and performing all types of comedy. Includes comments, advice, gags and routines from top comics. |
| funny opening lines for speeches: However Long and Hard the Road Jeffrey R. Holland, 1985-08 |
| funny opening lines for speeches: Ted Talks Chris Anderson, 2016-05-03 A NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER A must-read insider’s guide to creating unforgettable speeches and changing people's minds. Done right, a talk can electrify a room and transform an audience’s worldview; it can be more powerful than anything in written form. This “invaluable guide” (Publishers Weekly) explains how the miracle of powerful public speaking is achieved, and equips you to give it your best shot. There is no set formula, but there are tools that can empower any speaker. Since taking over TED in 2001, Chris Anderson has worked with all the TED speakers who have inspired us the most, and here he shares insights from such favorites as Sir Ken Robinson, Salman Khan, Monica Lewinsky, and more— everything from how to craft your talk’s content to how you can be most effective on stage. |
| funny opening lines for speeches: Mitch Murray's One-liners for Weddings Mitch Murray, 2008 A successful speech depends very much on how the ideas are arranged. It's not as simple as just finding some good jokes to deliver. Using this book, readers can stand with confidence and know that even if they fluff their lines, the structure of their speech will ensure their success. |
| funny opening lines for speeches: Sales Presentations For Dummies Julie M. Hansen, 2015-10-05 Are your sales presentations stuck in the 20th century? Sales Presentations For Dummies rises to the challenge of guiding you through the process of engaging and persuading busy buyers in a world that's constantly bombarding them with sales pitches. Motivating today's buyers to pull the trigger on a new deal requires a certain set of skills, and this straightforward text guides you through what you need to know to create and deliver compelling presentations. Pulled from examples and experiences of thousands of actual sales presentations, the information in this innovative resource offers the tools and tips you need to keep your leads engaged from hook to call to action. Today's business landscape is competitive. When your sales presentation is being compared to countless others, it's important to stand out for all the right reasons. Instead of using dated sales approaches,, update your understanding of the art of selling—and create compelling, engaging presentations that hook audience members from the beginning. Leverage a proven, blockbuster formula that engages audiences in any industry Use the power of storytelling to connect with prospective clients and soften their resistance to your sales pitch Understand and apply customer insights to ensure that your solution is top-of-mind in purchasing decisions Update your professional skill set to encompass today's most motivating sales tactics Sales Presentations For Dummies brings your sales style into the 21st century and connects you with the skills you need to excel in today's complicated business landscape. |
| funny opening lines for speeches: Speaker's Handbook of Humor Robert Orben, 2000 This practical guide to the effective use of humor in public speeches and presentations includes step-by-step directions for telling jokes, working the audience, dealing with stage fright, and more. Also contains a special section on handling a host of surprising situations, from angry audiences to extreme temperatures, plus extensive coverage of roasts. |
| funny opening lines for speeches: Comedy Writing for Late-Night TV Joe Toplyn, 2014-05-05 He has written and produced comedy/talk shows for over fifteen years. Now four-time Emmy winner Joe Toplyn reveals his proven methods of writing for late-night television in this one-of-a-kind insider's guide. Toplyn analyzes each type of comedy piece in the late-night TV playbook and takes you step-by-step through the process of writing it. His detailed tips, techniques, and rules include: * 6 characteristics every good monologue joke topic must have* 6 specific ways to generate punch lines* 12 tools for making your jokes their funniest* 7 types of desk pieces and how to create them* 9 steps to writing parodies and other sketches * How to go after a writing job in late night* PLUS a complete sample comedy/talk show submission packetAlso use this comprehensive manual to write short-form comedy for the Internet, sketch shows, magazines, reality shows, radio, advertising, and any other medium. |
| funny opening lines for speeches: A Director’s Guide to the Art of Stand-up Chris Head, 2018-07-12 Stand-up: it's the ultimate solo art form. Yet, behind the scenes, you will increasingly find the shadowy figure of a director. For comics themselves and for those who support them, this is the first book to give the director's perspective on creating and performing stand-up comedy. Drawing on his own experience of directing stand-up alongside speaking to comedians and their directors, Chris Head produces a revealing perspective on the creative process, comic persona, writing stand-up, structuring material and delivering a performance. Directors interviewed include Logan Murray, John Gordillo and Simon McBurney, who between them have directed Eddie Izzard, Michael McIntyre, Milton Jones, Lenny Henry and French & Saunders. With a foreword by BBC arts editor Will Gompertz and contributions from many other interviewees including Oliver Double (author of Getting the Joke), this is the only book that goes all the way from one-liners to theatre via comedy club sets and full-length shows. Perfect for stand-ups from newbies to pros, students of comedy, academics studying and teaching stand-up and for directors themselves, A Director's Guide to the Art of Stand-up offers hundreds of inspiring practical insights and shows how creating the comedian's highly personal, individual act can be a deeply collaborative process. |
| funny opening lines for speeches: This Is Water Kenyon College, 2014-05-22 Only once did David Foster Wallace give a public talk on his views on life, during a commencement address given in 2005 at Kenyon College. The speech is reprinted for the first time in book form in THIS IS WATER. How does one keep from going through their comfortable, prosperous adult life unconsciously' How do we get ourselves out of the foreground of our thoughts and achieve compassion' The speech captures Wallace's electric intellect as well as his grace in attention to others. After his death, it became a treasured piece of writing reprinted in The Wall Street Journal and the London Times, commented on endlessly in blogs, and emailed from friend to friend. Writing with his one-of-a-kind blend of causal humor, exacting intellect, and practical philosophy, David Foster Wallace probes the challenges of daily living and offers advice that renews us with every reading. |
| funny opening lines for speeches: Captivate Vanessa Van Edwards, 2017-04-25 Do you feel awkward at networking events? Do you wonder what your date really thinks of you? Do you wish you could decode people? You need to learn the science of people. As a human behavior hacker, Vanessa Van Edwards created a research lab to study the hidden forces that drive us. And she’s cracked the code. In Captivate, she shares shortcuts, systems, and secrets for taking charge of your interactions at work, at home, and in any social situation. These aren’t the people skills you learned in school. This is the first comprehensive, science backed, real life manual on how to captivate anyone—and a completely new approach to building connections. Just like knowing the formulas to use in a chemistry lab, or the right programming language to build an app, Captivate provides simple ways to solve people problems. You’ll learn, for example… · How to work a room: Every party, networking event, and social situation has a predictable map. Discover the sweet spot for making the most connections. · How to read faces: It’s easier than you think to speed-read facial expressions and use them to predict people’s emotions. · How to talk to anyone: Every conversation can be memorable—once you learn how certain words generate the pleasure hormone dopamine in listeners. When you understand the laws of human behavior, your influence, impact, and income will increase significantly. What’s more, you will improve your interpersonal intelligence, make a killer first impression, and build rapport quickly and authentically in any situation—negotiations, interviews, parties, and pitches. You’ll never interact the same way again. |
| funny opening lines for speeches: Shatter Me Tahereh Mafi, 2011-11-15 The gripping first installment in New York Times bestselling author Tahereh Mafi’s Shatter Me series. One touch is all it takes. One touch, and Juliette Ferrars can leave a fully grown man gasping for air. One touch, and she can kill. No one knows why Juliette has such incredible power. It feels like a curse, a burden that one person alone could never bear. But The Reestablishment sees it as a gift, sees her as an opportunity. An opportunity for a deadly weapon. Juliette has never fought for herself before. But when she’s reunited with the one person who ever cared about her, she finds a strength she never knew she had. And don’t miss Defy Me, the shocking fifth book in the Shatter Me series! |
| funny opening lines for speeches: Fever Pitch Nick Hornby, 2005-05-05 *WINNER OF THE WILLIAM HILL SPORTS BOOK OF THE YEAR* Fever Pitch is Nick Hornby's million-copy-selling, award-winnning football classic 'A spanking 7-0 away win of a football book. . . inventive, honest, funny, heroic, charming' Independent For many people watching football is mere entertainment, to some it's more like a ritual; but to others, its highs and lows provide a narrative to life itself. But, for Nick Hornby, his devotion to the game has provided one of few constants in a life where the meaningful things - like growing up, leaving home and forming relationships, both parental and romantic - have rarely been as simple or as uncomplicated as his love for Arsenal. Brimming with wit and honesty, Fever Pitch, catches perfectly what it really means to be a football fan - and in doing so, what it means to be a man. 'Hornby has put his finger on truths that have been unspoken for generations' Irish Times 'Funny, wise and true' Roddy Doyle |
| funny opening lines for speeches: Speeches on Special Occasions , 1839 |
| funny opening lines for speeches: Woodstock Nation Abbie Hoffman, 1969 Abbie Hoffman, Yippie non-leader, notorious dope addict and up-and-coming rock group (the WHAT), is currently on trial with seven others for conspiracy to incite riot during the Democratic Convention. When he returned from the Woodstock Festival he had five days before leaving for Chicago to prepare for the trial. Woodstock Nation, which the author wrote in longhand while lying upside down, stoned, on the floor of an unused office of the publisher, is the product of those five days. Other works by Mr. Hoffman include Revolution for the Hell of It and Fuck the System, which he describes as a tender love epic.-- Back cover. |
| funny opening lines for speeches: The Poor Mouth (An Béal Bocht) , 1975 |
| funny opening lines for speeches: By the Well of Living & Seeing Charles Reznikoff, 1974 Poems. |
| funny opening lines for speeches: Letter from Birmingham Jail Martin Luther King, 2025-01-14 A beautiful commemorative edition of Dr. Martin Luther King's essay Letter from Birmingham Jail, part of Dr. King's archives published exclusively by HarperCollins. With an afterword by Reginald Dwayne Betts On April 16, 1923, Dr. Martin Luther King Jr., responded to an open letter written and published by eight white clergyman admonishing the civil rights demonstrations happening in Birmingham, Alabama. Dr. King drafted his seminal response on scraps of paper smuggled into jail. King criticizes his detractors for caring more about order than justice, defends nonviolent protests, and argues for the moral responsibility to obey just laws while disobeying unjust ones. Letter from Birmingham Jail proclaims a message - confronting any injustice is an acceptable and righteous reason for civil disobedience. This beautifully designed edition presents Dr. King's speech in its entirety, paying tribute to this extraordinary leader and his immeasurable contribution, and inspiring a new generation of activists dedicated to carrying on the fight for justice and equality. |
| funny opening lines for speeches: The Exceptional Presenter Timothy Koegel, 2007-05-28 It's often reported that the number one fear among American adults is public speaking. But in today's competitive business world, effective communication is a crucial skill, and the cost of being less than effective is quite high. From the White House to boardrooms worldwide, Tim Koegel has strengthened presentations, media relations and communications skills of CEOs and world leaders alike with his renowned coaching abilities. His new book, The Exceptional Presenter lays out his techniques in a format perfectly suited to today's busy world. |
| funny opening lines for speeches: Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas Hunter S. Thompson, 2003-04-07 This is a reissue of the novel inspired by Hunter S. Thompson's ether-fuelled, savage journey to the heart of the American Dream: We were somewhere around Barstow on the edge of the desert when the drugs began to take hold... And suddenly there was a terrible roar all around us and the sky was full of what looked like huge bats, all swooping and screeching and diving around the car, which was going about a hundred miles an hour with the top down to Las Vegas. |
| funny opening lines for speeches: Rise Above Greg Little, 2011-09-01 Rise Above is a detailed description of one man's journey of conquering adversity.You will read how the writer survived a near-fatal motor vehicle accident, which resulted in three skull fractures, a bruised brain, an eight-day coma and having to relearn how to walk and talk - made all the more challenging by a lingering speech impediment acquired in childhood. Stuttering is an awful burden for a person to carry throughout life. Children can be cruel. The writer's utmost fear, speaking in public, would one day be an ally and allow him to present programs extensively throughout the United States. This book is not about surviving adversity. It's about thriving beyond adversity. Greg Little, a nationally renowned speaker and motivator, has presented to diverse groups, including health care, business and professional organizations, and educational institutions. His programs emphasize active involvement by participants. Whether teaching professionals to cope with stress, bond as a productive group or realize their hidden strengths, his seminars and keynote addresses are hard hitting and memorable. During one of Greg's presentations, I was laughing so hard that tears were literally streaming down my face. - Dr. Ed Kesgen; Sylva, NC One of the most energized, creative and innovate presentations I have ever experienced.- Jim Brennan, National Consultant; Wilbraham, MA Dr. Greg Little is superb speaker. This is an excellent investment in continuing education - Nancy DeBolt; Torrington, WY |
r/funny - Reddit
r/funny: Reddit's largest humor depository. Memes of any sort are expressly forbidden. This includes any variety of memetic image or video format, any footage or photographs of memes …
Best Funny Posts - Reddit
Screenshots of Black people being hilarious or insightful on social media, it doesn't need to just be twitter but obviously that is best.
Funny India - Reddit
If a given piece of content has appeared on r/Funny before, do not post it. Sites like KarmaDecay and TinEye can help to determine the uniqueness of a given submission, but since neither site …
r/DadJokes - the best (and worst) Dad Jokes on reddit
Welcome! This is a friendly place for those cringe-worthy and (maybe) funny attempts at humour that we call dad jokes. Often (but not always) a verbal or visual pun, if it elicited a snort or face …
Minecraft Troll Commands : r/MinecraftCommands - Reddit
Jan 23, 2022 · The subreddit for all things related to Modded Minecraft for Minecraft Java Edition --- This subreddit was originally created for discussion around the FTB launcher and its …
Funniest/interesting character names : r/wow - Reddit
Really only funny because it's so stupid but my 12-13 year old main's name is cleverly named Dwarffguy. (I was 8-9 years old) I unfortunately had to add the 2nd F when I transferred realms …
r/dankmemes - Reddit
reposting a meme you saw on hot because you thought it was really funny; your post contains an advice animal format; you post an image with no caption and use the title as the text; posting …
Funny Pics - Reddit
A woman is driving a sports car around Hollywood and Los Angeles, California, with 'Thor the Great Dane' riding in the passenger seat. .
Funny Text-To-Speak Lines. : r/discordapp - Reddit
Jan 13, 2017 · This will be extremely long and annoying, but funny. Discord also describes emojis, so have fun with that. Namely, pile of feces, hands clapping, fork and knife, etc. Also, don't …
What is the Funniest Joke You've Ever Heard/Read?
A kindergarten teacher is trying to explain to her class the definition of the word "definitely". To make sure the students have a good understanding of the word, she asks them to use it in a …
r/funny - Reddit
r/funny: Reddit's largest humor depository. Memes of any sort are expressly forbidden. This includes any variety of memetic image or video format, any footage or photographs of memes …
Best Funny Posts - Reddit
Screenshots of Black people being hilarious or insightful on social media, it doesn't need to just be twitter but obviously that is best.
Funny India - Reddit
If a given piece of content has appeared on r/Funny before, do not post it. Sites like KarmaDecay and TinEye can help to determine the uniqueness of a given submission, but since neither site …
r/DadJokes - the best (and worst) Dad Jokes on reddit
Welcome! This is a friendly place for those cringe-worthy and (maybe) funny attempts at humour that we call dad jokes. Often (but not always) a verbal or visual pun, if it elicited a snort or face …
Minecraft Troll Commands : r/MinecraftCommands - Reddit
Jan 23, 2022 · The subreddit for all things related to Modded Minecraft for Minecraft Java Edition --- This subreddit was originally created for discussion around the FTB launcher and its …
Funniest/interesting character names : r/wow - Reddit
Really only funny because it's so stupid but my 12-13 year old main's name is cleverly named Dwarffguy. (I was 8-9 years old) I unfortunately had to add the 2nd F when I transferred realms …
r/dankmemes - Reddit
reposting a meme you saw on hot because you thought it was really funny; your post contains an advice animal format; you post an image with no caption and use the title as the text; posting …
Funny Pics - Reddit
A woman is driving a sports car around Hollywood and Los Angeles, California, with 'Thor the Great Dane' riding in the passenger seat. .
Funny Text-To-Speak Lines. : r/discordapp - Reddit
Jan 13, 2017 · This will be extremely long and annoying, but funny. Discord also describes emojis, so have fun with that. Namely, pile of feces, hands clapping, fork and knife, etc. Also, don't …
What is the Funniest Joke You've Ever Heard/Read?
A kindergarten teacher is trying to explain to her class the definition of the word "definitely". To make sure the students have a good understanding of the word, she asks them to use it in a …
