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| funny opening jokes for speeches: Do You Talk Funny? David Nihill, 2016-03-08 Public speaking can be terrifying. For David Nihill, the idea of standing in front of an audience was scarier than cliff jumping into a thorny pit of spiders and mothers-in-law. Without a parachute or advanced weaponry. Something had to change. In what doesn't sound like the best plan ever, David decided to overcome his fears by pretending to be an accomplished comedian called Irish Dave for one full year, crashing as many comedy clubs, festivals, and shows as possible. One part of the plan was at least logical: he was already Irish and already called Dave. In one year, David went from being deathly afraid of public speaking to hosting a business conference, regularly performing stand-up comedy and winning storytelling competitions in front of packed houses. And he did it by learning from some of the best public speakers in the world: stand-up comedians. Do You Talk Funny?: 7 Comedy Habits to Become a Better (and Funnier) Public Speaker shows how the key principles of stand-up comedy can be applied to your speaking engagements and presentations to make you funnier, more interesting, and better looking. (Or at least two of the three.) Whether you are preparing for a business presentation, giving a wedding toast, defending your thesis, raising money from investors, or simply want to take on something you're afraid of, this book will take you from sweaty to stage-ready. You'll learn how to: - Craft a story and content that your audience will want to listen to - Find the funniest parts of your material and how to get to them faster - Deal with stage fright - Master the two most important parts of your performance: timing and delivery Ten percent of the author's proceeds from this book will go to Arash Bayatmakou via Help Hope Live until he is fully back on his feet and thereafter to one of the many facing the same challenges after suffering a severe spinal cord injury. |
| funny opening jokes for speeches: Speaking My Mind Ronald Reagan, 2004-08 The most important speeches of America's Great Communicator: Here, in his own words, is the record of Ronald Reagan's remarkable political career and historic eight-year presidency. |
| funny opening jokes for speeches: Humor That Works Andrew Tarvin, 2019-04 Humor That Works is a business book on humor. No, that's not an oxymoron. It really is a business book and it really is about getting better results by having more fun. Because people who use humor in the workplace are more productive, less stressed, and happier. No joke; sources included. |
| funny opening jokes for speeches: Humor, Seriously Jennifer Aaker, Naomi Bagdonas, 2021-02-02 WALL STREET JOURNAL, LOS ANGELES TIMES, AND USA TODAY BESTSELLER • Anyone—even you!—can learn how to harness the power of humor in business (and life), based on the popular class at Stanford’s Graduate School of Business. Don’t miss the authors’ TED Talk, “Why great leaders take humor seriously,” online now. “The ultimate guide to using the magical power of funny as a tool for leadership and a force for good.”—Daniel H. Pink, #1 New York Times bestselling author of When and Drive We are living through a period of unprecedented uncertainty and upheaval in both our personal and professional lives. So it should come as a surprise to exactly no one that trust, human connection, and mental well-being are all on the decline. This may seem like no laughing matter. Yet, the research shows that humor and laughter are among the most valuable tools we have at our disposal for strengthening bonds and relationships, diffusing stress and tension, boosting resilience, and performing when the stakes are high. That’s why Jennifer Aaker and Naomi Bagdonas teach the popular course Humor: Serious Business at the Stanford Graduate School of Business, where they help some of the world’s most hard-driving, blazer-wearing business minds infuse more humor and levity into their work and lives. In Humor, Seriously, they draw on findings by behavioral scientists, world-class comedians, and inspiring business leaders to reveal how humor works and—more important—how you can use more of it, better. Aaker and Bagdonas unpack the theory and application of humor: what makes something funny, how to mine your life for material, and simple ways to identify and leverage your unique humor style. They show how to use humor to rebuild vital connections; appear more confident, competent, and authentic at work; and foster cultures where levity and creativity can thrive. President Dwight David Eisenhower once said, “A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.” If Dwight David Eisenhower, the second least naturally funny president (after Franklin Pierce), thought humor was necessary to win wars, build highways, and warn against the military-industrial complex, then you might consider learning it too. |
| funny opening jokes for speeches: How to Tell a Joke Marcus Tullius Cicero, 2021-03-30 Timeless advice about how to use humor to win over any audience Can jokes win a hostile room, a hopeless argument, or even an election? You bet they can, according to Cicero, and he knew what he was talking about. One of Rome’s greatest politicians, speakers, and lawyers, Cicero was also reputedly one of antiquity’s funniest people. After he was elected commander-in-chief and head of state, his enemies even started calling him “the stand-up Consul.” How to Tell a Joke provides a lively new translation of Cicero’s essential writing on humor alongside that of the later Roman orator and educator Quintilian. The result is a timeless practical guide to how a well-timed joke can win over any audience. As powerful as jokes can be, they are also hugely risky. The line between a witty joke and an offensive one isn’t always clear. Cross it and you’ll look like a clown, or worse. Here, Cicero and Quintilian explore every aspect of telling jokes—while avoiding costly mistakes. Presenting the sections on humor in Cicero’s On the Ideal Orator and Quintilian’s The Education of the Orator, complete with an enlightening introduction and the original Latin on facing pages, How to Tell a Joke examines the risks and rewards of humor and analyzes basic types that readers can use to write their own jokes. Filled with insight, wit, and examples, including more than a few lawyer jokes, How to Tell a Joke will appeal to anyone interested in humor or the art of public speaking. |
| funny opening jokes for speeches: Wedding Toasts 101 Pete Honsberger, 2019-11-12 Write and present a memorable wedding toast with this light-hearted, humorous guide that gives you all the tools you’ll need for a successful speech—the perfect gift for any best man or maid of honor. As much as it’s an honor to be chosen as the best man or maid of honor at a wedding, giving the perfect speech can sometimes be nerve-wracking. Delivering a crowd-pleasing toast at the reception that has the right amount of humor and sentimentality is a daunting undertaking, no matter how advanced your public speaking skills are. Pete Honsberger’s guide to giving the perfect wedding toast provides even the most nervous of public speakers with all the tools and advice they need for writing and presenting the best toast ever. After witnessing speeches both good and bad, Honsberger shares a few bits of wisdom he’s learned along the way, providing building blocks to creating an unforgettable story along with helpful speech prompts, and the perfect checklist that will turn a potentially scary obligation into a golden opportunity. Wedding Toasts 101 presents a fun and simple way to write a successful wedding toast without all the stress so you can spend less time worrying and more time celebrating the happy couple. |
| funny opening jokes for speeches: Present! a Techie's Guide to Public Speaking Poornima Vijayashanker, Karen Catlin, 2015-11-02 The ultimate interactive public speaking guide from tech speakers Poornima Vijayashanker and Karen Catlin that prepares and encourages techies to discover their expertise, confidently share it, and successfully level up in their careers. Techies around the world can now jump start and grow their speaking careers with the book, Present! A Techie's Guide to Public Speaking, written by tech leaders, Poornima Vijayashanker and Karen Catlin. The book serves as a resource for technology professionals who want or need to develop the skills to communicate their expertise effectively, whether in a meeting at work or delivering an engaging talk at a conference. Poornima, who is the founder of Femgineer and the founding engineer of Mint.com, collaborated with former Adobe vice president and founder of Karen Catlin Consulting, Karen Catlin, to compile and share their lessons, tips, and techniques learned from their own experiences as professional tech speakers. Karen and I wanted to write this book so that our fellow techies would have a comprehensive resource to help them with their own public speaking endeavors. So many folks in the tech industry have amazing ideas and experience, but they often feel stuck on how to present them effectively. Also, our hope is that more women will be inspired by our stories and encouraged to get out there and share their own valuable expertise through public speaking in order to boost representation of women tech speakers, Poornima said. Present! covers public speaking from A to Z. Through stories, examples, and interactive exercises, Poornima and Karen dive into topics including, overcoming stage fright, exploring personal speaking style, creating the right talk for the right audience, polishing presence and delivery, and nailing any type of talk, whether it's a lightning or long-form talk or being part of a panel. Karen said, Even though Poornima and I are professional speakers, we felt it was important to share our own feelings of nerves and uncertainty, and bumps we've had along the way - and sometimes continue to experience. It was important for us to communicate that no one is perfect and it really is okay when talks don't always go according to plan. Our hope is that by being open, we'll be able to give others the confidence and the techniques to handle situations when they arise, deliver an amazing presentation, and most importantly, have FUN! |
| funny opening jokes for speeches: The Hilarious Book of Heavenly Humor Bob Phillips, 2011-10-01 Bestselling jokester Bob Phillips (more than 5.4 million books sold) and godly, goodly humor cartoonist Jonny Hawkins team up to take a lighthearted look at church, Bible characters and events, and faith in this collection that offers a bit of humor for those in the pulpit, pews, and anywhere in between. Eve: Adam, do you love me? Adam: Who else? Question: What caused Abel to feel neglected? Answer: His parents were raising Cain. This collection of jokes, quotes, and cartoons, alphabetized and indexed from Abel to Zacchaeus, will be a favorite resource for those who want to freshen their bulletins, newsletters, speeches, or sermons--or just infuse their earthly days with some good clean fun. Rerelease of The Awesome Book of Heavenly Humor. |
| funny opening jokes for speeches: Creativity John Cleese, 2020-09-08 The legendary comedian, actor, and writer of Monty Python, Fawlty Towers, and A Fish Called Wanda fame shares his key ideas about creativity: that it’s a learnable, improvable skill. “Many people have written about creativity, but although they were very, very clever, they weren't actually creative. I like to think I'm writing about it from the inside.”—John Cleese You might think that creativity is some mysterious, rare gift—one that only a few possess. But you’d be wrong. As John Cleese shows in this short, practical, and often amusing guide, creativity is a skill that anyone can acquire. Drawing on his lifelong experience as a writer, Cleese shares his insights into the nature of creativity and offers advice on how to get your own inventive juices flowing. What do you need to do to get yourself in the right frame of mind? When do you know that you’ve come up with an idea that might be worth pursuing? What should you do if you think you’ve hit a brick wall? We can all be more creative. John Cleese shows us how. |
| funny opening jokes for speeches: No Joke Ruth R. Wisse, 2013-06-02 No detailed description available for No Joke. |
| funny opening jokes for speeches: Winning with One-Liners Pat Williams, 2002-08-15 Laughter is power. Nothing livens up a presentation like well-placed jokes, which can take an audience from bored disinterest to rapt attention in seconds. In this ultimate collection of one-liners, author Pat Williams, one of the country's top motivational and inspirational speakers and senior vice president of the Orlando Magic, shares the jokes he has been using to win over audiences for over forty years. Arranged into more than 200 categories—from airlines and politics to world conditions and zoos—these 3,400 battle-tested funnies, delivered before a rich variety of audiences, will keep readers roaring. While many other joke books offer material that is either not very funny or off-color, Winning with One-Liners provides clean, wholesome entertainment for all audiences. Sometimes we all need a good laugh, and Pat Williams shows how to do it right in this indispensable book for all speakers. |
| funny opening jokes for speeches: Comedy Writing Secrets Melvin Helitzer, 1992 A comprehensive guide to writing, selling and performing all types of comedy. Includes comments, advice, gags and routines from top comics. |
| funny opening jokes for speeches: Lincoln's Sense of Humor Richard Carwardine, 2017-10-23 Abraham Lincoln was the first president consistently to make storytelling and laughter tools of office. This book shows how his uses of humor evolved to fit changing personal circumstances, and explores its versatility, range of expressions, and multiple sources-- |
| funny opening jokes for speeches: Wedding Jokes Hugh Morrison, 2014-12-29 'My wife and I have agreed never to go to bed angry with one another. So far we've been up for three weeks...' 'My wife and I always compromise, I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me...' Whether you're making a speech for a wedding or an anniversary, or just want a good laugh, this laugh-a-minute book will keep you chortling at the ups and downs of weddings and married life. |
| funny opening jokes for speeches: Joan Garry's Guide to Nonprofit Leadership Joan Garry, 2017-03-06 Nonprofit leadership is messy Nonprofits leaders are optimistic by nature. They believe with time, energy, smarts, strategy and sheer will, they can change the world. But as staff or board leader, you know nonprofits present unique challenges. Too many cooks, not enough money, an abundance of passion. It’s enough to make you feel overwhelmed and alone. The people you help need you to be successful. But there are so many obstacles: a micromanaging board that doesn’t understand its true role; insufficient fundraising and donors who make unreasonable demands; unclear and inconsistent messaging and marketing; a leader who’s a star in her sector but a difficult boss… And yet, many nonprofits do thrive. Joan Garry’s Guide to Nonprofit Leadership will show you how to do just that. Funny, honest, intensely actionable, and based on her decades of experience, this is the book Joan Garry wishes she had when she led GLAAD out of a financial crisis in 1997. Joan will teach you how to: Build a powerhouse board Create an impressive and sustainable fundraising program Become seen as a ‘workplace of choice’ Be a compelling public face of your nonprofit This book will renew your passion for your mission and organization, and help you make a bigger difference in the world. |
| funny opening jokes for speeches: Comedy Comes Clean 2 , 1997 In this hilarious follow-up to Comedy Comes Clean, Adam Christing provides an antidote to the raw, raunchy, and just plain rude comedy that's no laughing matter to millions of Americans. The time is right for humor that gets big laughs without resorting to gender bashing, racist quips, obscenity, or any of the other hallmarks of contemporary comedy. |
| funny opening jokes for speeches: A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Podium Herbert Victor Prochnow, 1998 [Prochnow] . . . wrote the book on public speaking. --The Chicago Rotary Club A wonderful collection! This is must reading for all who give speeches. --James W. Robinson, author of Better Speeches in 10 Simple Steps A veritable treasure chest--all in one volume. --American Banker Add sparkle to your speeches and introductions. Enliven your conversations with humor and memorable facts so that important ideas will not be forgotten. With more than 2,000 epigrams, literary quotations, anecdotes from biographies, humorous stories, inspiring illustrations, and interesting facts, A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Podium is the essential reference you need to present your ideas colorfully and effectively. Inside you'll find: - 500 humorous stories - 500 epigrams and quips - 160 unusual quotations from world leaders through the ages - 292 humorous definitions - 100 stories and comments from unusual lives - 190 statements on important subjects by great thinkers - 209 wise and witty proverbs - and so much more! A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Podium is great for any occasion and makes for enjoyable browsing too! |
| funny opening jokes for speeches: Steve Allen's Private Joke File Steve Allen, 2007-12-18 Why Did Steve Allen Cross the Road? Steve Allen is a legend among comedians and entertainers. He's been playing to audiences on stage, radio, film, and television for more than fifty years, gaining acclaim for his unique wit and energy. Now for the first time, he shares more than a thousand of his favorite one-liners, anecdotes, limericks, quotes, and other generally funny things. The entries are divided into nearly two hundred categories to make it easy for anyone to find the right laugh for any occasion. If you're faced with the prospect of having to say a few words, Steve Allen's Private Joke File is the perfect place to look for ideas and inspiration on such topics as awards, drinking, baseball, lawyers, dentists, insurance, marriage, the stock market, and dozens of other subjects. A sampling: * My wife and I had words, but I never got to use mine! * If ignorance is bliss, he should die of joy. * How are the acoustics here? Great, I can hardly hear you! * I learned to rumba very early in life ... I had a tricycle with a loose seat. * Room for rent, by young lady, freshly plastered. Steve Allen has also included a number of his favorite essays and monologues. Steve Allen's Private Joke File is great to flip through for fun or for function, and for those of us looking for a good laugh -- to give one or to have one -- it's indispensable. |
| funny opening jokes for speeches: Funny Short Speeches James Taris, 2020-08-29 This book is an hilarious collection of short funny speeches and monologues. They were written as manual speeches for Toastmasters, to advance through my speech manuals. They were written over a 7-year period and during this period, I reached the level of ATM Silver. Toastmasters provided the perfect training course for me and I used my newly acquired skills and confidence to launch into an international career as a public speaker and writer. From 2002 to 2004, I travelled to 19 countries on 5 continents, fulfilling speaking engagements and a desire for world travel that I had dreamt of for decades. I realised very early in my Toastmasters club training that the best way to capture and retain an audience's attention was with the use of comedy. So, making my audience laugh became my main focus. These are my most cherished speeches. Making my audience laugh is still the greatest 'high' that I get from speaking.When you say something funny, and your audience laughs, you know that it's a genuine response and you've got through to them!You will find that I use many of my funny speeches to deliver some very important messages to my audience.It's incredibly hard to get an audience's attention when talking about a serious subject, but by using comedy, you capture their attention and they listen more carefully to make sure they don't miss out on your next joke or funny line. That's the perfect time to hit them with something important, something profound. You can then rest assured that your message has been heard loud and clear. Then it's back to more comedy. You can't afford to let them doze off for a minute!Public speaking is quite an art, and I have Toastmasters to thank for teaching me the skills, but more importantly, giving me the confidence to speak in front of an audience. These speeches and monologues are for your entertainment, and if your goal is to build confidence as a public speaker, they are also a testament to the value of Toastmasters as an excellent way to go. Finally, if you have a speech to give, please feel free to use these speeches as a guide.HISTORYAfter a successful career as a sales agent and sales manager, I yearned to become a professional public, so I joined Toastmasters.Two weeks later, I gave my first speech. It was okay, but I needed to learn so much more. Joining Toastmasters was everything I hoped it would be, and more.Over the next 7 years I gave 30 manual speeches and developed my speaking skills to the professional level I sought from the very start.That training gave me the confidence to embark on several international speaking tours that took me to 19 countries, on 5 continents.I also turned one of my speeches, Pericles - Athens' Most Glorious Ruler, into a one-man play, The Glory of Athens, which I performed in 10 countries, including theatre performances in Amsterdam, London and Hollywood.These tours took place from 2002-2004 and I have written about those travel experiences in several books.Most of my enjoyment, however, has come through delivering funny speeches. The spontaneous laughter from the audience is one of the most satisfying experiences I have ever had.Some of these speeches are included in this book, Funny Short Speeches - Examples of 5-10-minute speeches.I hope you enjoy my speeches just as much as my audiences from all over the world.REVIEWSMy! You are a very impressive man with a very impressive vision ... Reading your speeches turned out to be so hilarious I couldn't help myself cracking up every now and then to the surprise (delight or annoyance) of the people around here... I like most of your latest works (speeches), Pericles, The Wandering Knight, Why The Boss Gets Paid More, and the factual, superb and inspirational LIVE FOR THE JOURNEY, (NOT THE DESTINATION)... Dorie (Guam)You certainly have an interesting twist on the story of the three little pigs. I like it ! There are always two sides to any story. Scarlet (USA) |
| funny opening jokes for speeches: Is This Anything? Jerry Seinfeld, 2020-10-06 The first book in twenty-five years from “one of our great comic minds” (The Washington Post) features Seinfeld’s best work across five decades in comedy. Since his first performance at the legendary New York nightclub “Catch a Rising Star” as a twenty-one-year-old college student in fall of 1975, Jerry Seinfeld has written his own material and saved everything. “Whenever I came up with a funny bit, whether it happened on a stage, in a conversation, or working it out on my preferred canvas, the big yellow legal pad, I kept it in one of those old school accordion folders,” Seinfeld writes. “So I have everything I thought was worth saving from forty-five years of hacking away at this for all I was worth.” For this book, Jerry Seinfeld has selected his favorite material, organized decade by decade. In this “trove of laugh-out-loud one-liners” (Associated Press), you will witness the evolution of one of the great comedians of our time and gain new insights into the thrilling but unforgiving art of writing stand-up comedy. |
| funny opening jokes for speeches: Speaker's Handbook of Humor Robert Orben, 2000 This practical guide to the effective use of humor in public speeches and presentations includes step-by-step directions for telling jokes, working the audience, dealing with stage fright, and more. Also contains a special section on handling a host of surprising situations, from angry audiences to extreme temperatures, plus extensive coverage of roasts. |
| funny opening jokes for speeches: On Humour Simon Critchley, 2011-08-26 This is a fascinating and beautifully written book on what philosophy can tell us about humour and about what it is to be human. It will fascinate and intrigue anyone with a sense of humour. |
| funny opening jokes for speeches: Humor That Works Andrew Tarvin, 2012-11-13 The author presents a collection of ways to reap the proven human and corporate benefits of humor at work, organized by core business skill and founded on his own work as a business speaker and coach with the consulting company, Humor That Works. |
| funny opening jokes for speeches: Comedy Writing for Late-Night TV Joe Toplyn, 2014-05-05 He has written and produced comedy/talk shows for over fifteen years. Now four-time Emmy winner Joe Toplyn reveals his proven methods of writing for late-night television in this one-of-a-kind insider's guide. Toplyn analyzes each type of comedy piece in the late-night TV playbook and takes you step-by-step through the process of writing it. His detailed tips, techniques, and rules include: * 6 characteristics every good monologue joke topic must have* 6 specific ways to generate punch lines* 12 tools for making your jokes their funniest* 7 types of desk pieces and how to create them* 9 steps to writing parodies and other sketches * How to go after a writing job in late night* PLUS a complete sample comedy/talk show submission packetAlso use this comprehensive manual to write short-form comedy for the Internet, sketch shows, magazines, reality shows, radio, advertising, and any other medium. |
| funny opening jokes for speeches: Very Good Lives J. K. Rowling, 2015-04-14 J.K. Rowling, one of the world's most inspiring writers, shares her wisdom and advice. In 2008, J.K. Rowling delivered a deeply affecting commencement speech at Harvard University. Now published for the first time in book form, VERY GOOD LIVES presents J.K. Rowling's words of wisdom for anyone at a turning point in life. How can we embrace failure? And how can we use our imagination to better both ourselves and others? Drawing from stories of her own post-graduate years, the world famous author addresses some of life's most important questions with acuity and emotional force. |
| funny opening jokes for speeches: A Director’s Guide to the Art of Stand-up Chris Head, 2018-07-12 Stand-up: it's the ultimate solo art form. Yet, behind the scenes, you will increasingly find the shadowy figure of a director. For comics themselves and for those who support them, this is the first book to give the director's perspective on creating and performing stand-up comedy. Drawing on his own experience of directing stand-up alongside speaking to comedians and their directors, Chris Head produces a revealing perspective on the creative process, comic persona, writing stand-up, structuring material and delivering a performance. Directors interviewed include Logan Murray, John Gordillo and Simon McBurney, who between them have directed Eddie Izzard, Michael McIntyre, Milton Jones, Lenny Henry and French & Saunders. With a foreword by BBC arts editor Will Gompertz and contributions from many other interviewees including Oliver Double (author of Getting the Joke), this is the only book that goes all the way from one-liners to theatre via comedy club sets and full-length shows. Perfect for stand-ups from newbies to pros, students of comedy, academics studying and teaching stand-up and for directors themselves, A Director's Guide to the Art of Stand-up offers hundreds of inspiring practical insights and shows how creating the comedian's highly personal, individual act can be a deeply collaborative process. |
| funny opening jokes for speeches: Serious Guide to Joke Writing Sally Holloway, 2010 This comprehensive joke writing masterclass has been devised for beginners and experienced joke writers alike. The techniques you will learn can be used again and again to write funny and original material. You hold in your hands the key to unlocking your inner comedy genius. |
| funny opening jokes for speeches: Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks G. Patrick Vennebush, 2010 Professor and Mathemagician, Harvey Mudd College, Claremont, CA -- |
| funny opening jokes for speeches: The Comedy Bible Judy Carter, 2010-05-04 Judy Carter, guru to aspiring comedy writers and stand-up comics, tells all about the biz of being funny and writing funny in this bright, entertaining, and totally practical guide on how to draw humor from your life and turn it into a career. Do you think you’re funny? Do you want to turn your sense of humor into a career? If the answer is yes, then Judy Carter’s The Comedy Bible is for you. The guru to aspiring stand-up comics provides the complete scoop on being—and writing—funny for money. If you’ve got a sense of humor, you can learn to make a career out of comedy, says Judy Carter. Whether it’s creating a killer stand-up act, writing a spec sitcom, or providing jokes for radio or one-liners for greeting cards, Carter provides step-by-step instructions in The Comedy Bible. She helps readers first determine which genre of comedy writing or performing suits them best and then directs them in developing, refining, and selling their work. Using the hands-on workbook format that was so effective in her bestselling first book, Stand-Up Comedy: The Book, Carter offers a series of day-by-day exercises that draw on her many years as a successful stand-up comic and the head of a nationally known comedy school. Also included are practical tips and advice from today’s top comedy professionals—from Bernie Brillstein to Christopher Titus to Richard Lewis. She presents the pros and cons of the various comedy fields—stand-up, script, speech and joke writing, one-person shows, humor essays—and shows how to tailor your material for each. She teaches how to find your “authentic” voice—the true source of comedy. And, perhaps most important, Carter explains how to take a finished product to the next level—making money—by pitching it to a buyer and negotiating a contract. Written in Carter’s unique, take-no-prisoners voice, The Comedy Bible is practical, inspirational, and funny. |
| funny opening jokes for speeches: Your Presentation Is a Joke Marshall Chiles, 2016-01-09 Humor increases persuasion's effectiveness. - Dr. Jim Lyttle I am comedian/author/dudeman Marshall Chiles and I will show you step-by-step proven methodologies to help add humor to your business presentations in order to increase your persuasion, maximize your impact, and be one of the cool kids. I used your recommendations and absolutely crushed my sales presentation at the conference. Was told I was a stand out speaker and was really able to get the crowd engaged with some humor. You the man! - Ryan Hughes, 360 Rick Partners After 16 years as a comedian and comedy entrepreneur, I have taken my knowledge of comedy and business to write this book. YPIJ initially was as an introductory course for new comedians, then I adapted it for business presenters as a speech. Over the last three years, I have been able to fine-tune the lessons that easily help people be funnier on stage. What really reenforced my belief in what I have to offer happened in 2015 when the presentation form of YPIJ won an award from YPO (Young Presidents' Organization www.ypo.org). YPO is one of the most elite executive groups on the planet, and they not only hired me, but honored Your Presentation is a Joke as award worthy which helped me finally feel acceptance. If you have a business presentation, then you want to stand out, make people pay more attention and give you their money. I submit humor is the way to reach those goals. In this book you will learn proven techniques from adding funny images, to finding the funny in (almost) any subject, to writing self-deprecating jokes, and more. So whether you're a seasoned public speaker, a new speaker, or you just think I'm pretty and want to give me money, you should get Your Presentation is a Joke. |
| funny opening jokes for speeches: Too Funny to be President Morris K. Udall, 2001 With a bumper crop of presidential candidates surfacing, I have concluded that a plague of presidentialitis has swept the nation. Speaking from experience, I must remind all these worthy contenders that once this dreaded disease-- whose symptoms include delusions of grandeur and an urge to make repeated visits to Iowa-- gets into a man's bloodstream, it can only be cured by embalming fluid. --Mo UdallMorris Mo Udall, Arizona's Democratic congressman for thirty years, was as well known for his sense of humor as for his dedication to environmental causes. And it was during his 1976 campaign for the Democratic presidential nomination, when he claims he drew more laughter than votes, that James K. Kilpatrick pronounced him too funny to be president.Udall kept four black notebooks of jokes that he had collected throughout his public life. Some he heard in the courtroom or on the floor of the House; others he found in old speeches and newspaper articles; still others he swiped on the rubber-chicken circuit. This book, a memoir of Udall's career, collects many of those jokes to create a citizen's guide to the lighter side of politics.After due deliberation and two stiff drinks, Udall writes, I decided to go ahead and write this book because I'm convinced that humor is as necessary to the health of our political discourse as it is in our private lives. Too Funny To Be President is a testament to the Udall spirit--and an example to all who would win the public's heart. |
| funny opening jokes for speeches: How to Write Funny John Kachuba, 2001-07-15 A discussion of the basics and genres of the comic point of view includes essays and interviews with such authors as Dave Barry, Sherman Alexie, and Melissa Bank. |
| funny opening jokes for speeches: 2500 Jokes to Start 'Em Laughing Robert Orben, 2012-05-23 There is no better, faster, or more effective way to reach out and grab an audience’s attention than the adroit use of humor. An apt, well-timed joke can soothe the hostile, focus the uninterested, and the spur on the enthusiastic. In this latest collection from Robert Orben, master of the one-liner and fountain of humor for the great TV and stand-up comics, are gathered over 2500 short, relevant, and sharp laugh-getters that can easily be added to speeches, lectures, presentations, or casual conversation. Arranged into several hundred categories for ease in selection, the subject matter is topical—ranging from acupuncture and air pollution to women’s liberation and X-rated movies. Most of the jokes are one-liners that move with a snap and a sizzle that anecdotes and lengthy stories lack. Here you will find openings and closings for speeches, plus random and specific comment invaluable to anyone who has ever been called upon to “say a few words.” A marvelous tool for speakers, writers, and performers, Mr. Orben’s newest book will also provide hours of laugh-filled reading for everyone. |
| funny opening jokes for speeches: Fearless Presentations Doug Staneart, 2005-04 Fearless Presentations is the fastest, easiest way to go from nervous, timid, shaky, and unsure to poised, confident, and steady.The 10 simple rules outlined in this book are a summary of essential skills that will give you dramatic improvement in the way that you stand and speak. Sweaty palms, Shakiness, and Butterflies can go away immediately, Learn the One Major Secret of All World-Class Speakers, Tips on Introductions and Conclusions, How Stories and Examples Captivate Audiences, How to Persuade an Audience with Your Words, Use Gestures to add Impact, How to Write a Speech in Minutes, Add Impact to any Speech, Look and Sound poised in Impromptu Situations, How to Control Question and Answer Periods. |
| funny opening jokes for speeches: Unlikely Righteousness Tina Kowalski, 2016-07-02 Not all Biblical heros are household names. Indeed, we don't even know the names of some of them. Yet as you study the stories of the people covered in this book you will learn that anyone can do the right thing when required. |
| funny opening jokes for speeches: Step by Step to Stand-up Comedy Greg Dean, 2000 If you think you're funny, and you want others to think so too, this is the book for you! Greg Dean examines the fundamentals of being funny and offers advice on a range of topics, including: writing creative joke material rehearsing and performing routines coping with stage fright dealing with emcees who think they're funnier than you are getting experience and lots more. Essential for the aspiring comic or the working comedian interested in updating his or her comedy routine, Step by Step to Stand-Up Comedy is the most comprehensive and useful book ever written on the art of the stand-up comedian. |
| funny opening jokes for speeches: The Comic Toolbox John Vorhaus, 1994 A straightforward, often humorous workbook approach to comedy writing as creative problem-solving. In it, veteran Hollywood comedy writer John Vorhaus offers his tools of the trade to writers, comics, and anyone else who wants to be funny. Among these indispensable tools are Clash of Context, Tension and Release, The Law of Comic Opposites, The Wildly Inappropriate Response, and The Myth of the Last Great Idea. Readers will learn that comedy = truth and pain (the essence of the comic situation), that fear is the biggest roadblock to comedy (kill the ferocious editor within and rich, useful comic ideas will flow), and much more. |
| funny opening jokes for speeches: Stupid Men Jokes Nancy Gray, 1993 |
| funny opening jokes for speeches: Humor Writing Bruce A. Goebel, 2011 In an educational environment of high-stakes tests and school accountability, humor has been virtually banned from the classroom. That's a shame, and perhaps a mistake, since student success depends on engagement, and young adults seem to be naturally drawn to comic media. How can you take advantage of your students' interest in humorous material? According to Bruce A. Goebel, incorporating humor writing into the classroom not only reduces student anxiety but also provides them with an opportunity to study and practice the careful and effective use of language. Divided into four chapters--(1) Humorous Words, Phrases, and Sentences, (2) Funny Stories and Essays, (3) Light Verse, and (4) Parody--the book offers more than 150 activities you can use to help students develop writing skills in voice, word choice, style, and organization while exploring a variety of genres. Depending on your purpose and needs, you can either sprinkle brief lessons throughout your instructional units or create an extended humor writing unit. Perhaps most important, these activities offer students the rare opportunity to express their creative, divergent-thinking sides in an increasingly serious classroom space. |
| funny opening jokes for speeches: Rise Above Greg Little, 2011-09-01 Rise Above is a detailed description of one man's journey of conquering adversity.You will read how the writer survived a near-fatal motor vehicle accident, which resulted in three skull fractures, a bruised brain, an eight-day coma and having to relearn how to walk and talk - made all the more challenging by a lingering speech impediment acquired in childhood. Stuttering is an awful burden for a person to carry throughout life. Children can be cruel. The writer's utmost fear, speaking in public, would one day be an ally and allow him to present programs extensively throughout the United States. This book is not about surviving adversity. It's about thriving beyond adversity. Greg Little, a nationally renowned speaker and motivator, has presented to diverse groups, including health care, business and professional organizations, and educational institutions. His programs emphasize active involvement by participants. Whether teaching professionals to cope with stress, bond as a productive group or realize their hidden strengths, his seminars and keynote addresses are hard hitting and memorable. During one of Greg's presentations, I was laughing so hard that tears were literally streaming down my face. - Dr. Ed Kesgen; Sylva, NC One of the most energized, creative and innovate presentations I have ever experienced.- Jim Brennan, National Consultant; Wilbraham, MA Dr. Greg Little is superb speaker. This is an excellent investment in continuing education - Nancy DeBolt; Torrington, WY |
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