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| funny speeches for vice president: Speaking My Mind Ronald Reagan, 2004-08 The most important speeches of America's Great Communicator: Here, in his own words, is the record of Ronald Reagan's remarkable political career and historic eight-year presidency. |
| funny speeches for vice president: Great Presidential Wit Robert J. Dole, 2001 The former senator and presidential candidate collects bipartisan presidential humor from famous, and not-so-famous, chief executives, from Washington to Clinton. |
| funny speeches for vice president: Kid President's Guide to Being Awesome Robby Novak, Brad Montague, 2015-02-03 This is LIFE, people! You've got air coming through your nose! You've got a heartbeat! That means it's time to do something! announces Kid President in his book, Kid President's Guide to Being Awesome. From YouTube sensation (75 million views and counting!) to Hub Network summer series star, Kid President—ten-year-old Robby Novak—and his videos have inspired millions to dance more, to celebrate life, and to throw spontaneous parades. In his Guide to Being Awesome, Kid President pulls together lists of awesome ideas to help the world, awesome interviews with his awesome celebrity friends (he has interviewed Beyoncé!), and a step-by-step guide to make pretty much everything a little bit awesomer. Grab a corn dog and settle in to your favorite comfy chair. Pretend it's your birthday! (In fact, treat everyone like it's THEIR birthday!) Kid President is here with a 240-page, full-color Guide to Being Awesome that'll spread love and inspire the world. |
| funny speeches for vice president: Winning with One-Liners Pat Williams, 2002-08-15 Laughter is power. Nothing livens up a presentation like well-placed jokes, which can take an audience from bored disinterest to rapt attention in seconds. In this ultimate collection of one-liners, author Pat Williams, one of the country's top motivational and inspirational speakers and senior vice president of the Orlando Magic, shares the jokes he has been using to win over audiences for over forty years. Arranged into more than 200 categories—from airlines and politics to world conditions and zoos—these 3,400 battle-tested funnies, delivered before a rich variety of audiences, will keep readers roaring. While many other joke books offer material that is either not very funny or off-color, Winning with One-Liners provides clean, wholesome entertainment for all audiences. Sometimes we all need a good laugh, and Pat Williams shows how to do it right in this indispensable book for all speakers. |
| funny speeches for vice president: Blair House Papers National Performance Review (U.S.), 1997 |
| funny speeches for vice president: You Are Not Special and Other Encouragements David McCullough Jr, 2014-05-01 An inspirational and timely reflection on the way we bring up children that will resonate with parents everywhere. 'Longtime high school English teacher McCullough scores an A+ with this volume for teens and parents. Rich in literary references and poetic in cadence, the author also offers plenty of hilarious and pointed comments on teens and today's society.' - Publishers Weekly So you think you're special? Well, think again: you're not. David McCullough Jr, a US high-school English teacher, found himself suddenly famous in 2012 when his commencement address to graduating high-school seniors went viral on Youtube. the main theme of that speech, 'You're not special', seemed to hit a nerve and validate a sense among people worldwide that something is deeply and fundamentally wrong with the way children are being raised today. From infancy, he observed, children are taught to believe they are unique and special, deserving of every advantage, destined for success. Consequently they learn to work hard and distinguish themselves for the sake of status and material reward rather than for the benefit of others - the larger community; the world. Success is defined as something almost entirely selfish. there is little attention or time given to the pursuit of education for the sake of wisdom, or even real happiness. Drawing from his long career as an educator and experience as a father of teenage boys, McCullough will expand upon the ideas laid out in his radical twelve-minute speech and argue that we can do better - as parents and as teachers - than fostering in our children a sense of privilege and entitlement. Watch the speech at: www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lfxYhtf8o4 Or read it at: http://theswellesleyreport.com/2012/06/wellesley-high-grads-told-youre-not-special/ |
| funny speeches for vice president: How to Tell a Joke Marcus Tullius Cicero, 2021-03-30 Timeless advice about how to use humor to win over any audience Can jokes win a hostile room, a hopeless argument, or even an election? You bet they can, according to Cicero, and he knew what he was talking about. One of Rome’s greatest politicians, speakers, and lawyers, Cicero was also reputedly one of antiquity’s funniest people. After he was elected commander-in-chief and head of state, his enemies even started calling him “the stand-up Consul.” How to Tell a Joke provides a lively new translation of Cicero’s essential writing on humor alongside that of the later Roman orator and educator Quintilian. The result is a timeless practical guide to how a well-timed joke can win over any audience. As powerful as jokes can be, they are also hugely risky. The line between a witty joke and an offensive one isn’t always clear. Cross it and you’ll look like a clown, or worse. Here, Cicero and Quintilian explore every aspect of telling jokes—while avoiding costly mistakes. Presenting the sections on humor in Cicero’s On the Ideal Orator and Quintilian’s The Education of the Orator, complete with an enlightening introduction and the original Latin on facing pages, How to Tell a Joke examines the risks and rewards of humor and analyzes basic types that readers can use to write their own jokes. Filled with insight, wit, and examples, including more than a few lawyer jokes, How to Tell a Joke will appeal to anyone interested in humor or the art of public speaking. |
| funny speeches for vice president: Speech-less Matthew Latimer, 2009-09-22 New York Times Bestseller • From a former White House speechwriter comes a deliciously candid memoir about official Washington—a laugh-out-loud cri de coeur that shows what can happen to idealism in a town driven by self-interest. “[An] entertaining book about what goes on—or doesn’t—in Washington.” —American Spectator Despite being raised by reliably liberal parents, Matt Latimer is lured by the upbeat themes of the Reagan Revolution and, in the tradition of Mary Tyler Moore, sets off from the Midwest for the big city. Determined to “make it after all,” Matt daydreams of eradicating do-nothing boondoggleism and leading America to new heights of greatness. But first he has to find a job. Like an inside-the-Beltway Dante, Matt descends into Washington, D.C., hell, and snares a series of increasingly lofty—but unsatisfying—jobs with powerful figures on Capitol Hill. When Fate offers Matt a job as chief speechwriter for Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld and Matt finds he actually admires the man (causing his liberal friends to shake their heads in dismay), his youthful passion is renewed. But Rummy soon becomes a piñata for the press, and the Department of Defense is revealed as alarmingly dysfunctional. Eventually, Matt lands at the White House, his heart aflutter with the hope that, here at last, he can fulfill his dream of penning words that will become part of history—and maybe pick up some cool souvenirs. But reality intrudes once again. More like The Office than The West Wing, the nation’s most storied office building is run by staffers who are in way over their heads, and almost everything the public has been told about the major players—Bush, Cheney, Rice, Rumsfeld, Rove—is wrong. Both a rare behind-the-scenes account that boldly names the fools and scoundrels, and a poignant lament for the principled conservatism that disappeared during the Bush presidency, Speech-less will forever change the public’s view of our nation’s capital and the people who joust daily for its power. Praise for Speech-less “Deft, surprising, darned entertaining.” —Christopher Buckley It's a good read… quite frankly, the stories are funny! —Pat Buchanan |
| funny speeches for vice president: The Political Speechwriter′s Companion Robert A. Lehrman, Eric Schnure, 2019-07-17 Can you really learn to write speeches? The Political Speechwriter′s Companion guides students through a systematic LAWS approach (language, anecdote, wit, and support) that politicians can use to persuade their audiences into taking action. In the highly anticipated Second Edition, esteemed speechwriter and author Robert A. Lehrman has teamed up with one of the go-to-guys for political humor, Eric Schnure, to offer students an entertaining yet practical introduction to political speechwriting. This how-to guide explains how speakers can deliver: language the audience will understand and remember, anecdotes that make listeners laugh and cry, wit that pokes fun at opponents but also shows their own lighter side, and support in the way of statistics, examples, and testimony. Packed with annotated speeches from the most recent elections, technology tips, and interviews from speechwriting luminaries, this edition offers the most practical advice and strategies for a career in political communication. |
| funny speeches for vice president: Joan Garry's Guide to Nonprofit Leadership Joan Garry, 2017-03-06 Nonprofit leadership is messy Nonprofits leaders are optimistic by nature. They believe with time, energy, smarts, strategy and sheer will, they can change the world. But as staff or board leader, you know nonprofits present unique challenges. Too many cooks, not enough money, an abundance of passion. It’s enough to make you feel overwhelmed and alone. The people you help need you to be successful. But there are so many obstacles: a micromanaging board that doesn’t understand its true role; insufficient fundraising and donors who make unreasonable demands; unclear and inconsistent messaging and marketing; a leader who’s a star in her sector but a difficult boss… And yet, many nonprofits do thrive. Joan Garry’s Guide to Nonprofit Leadership will show you how to do just that. Funny, honest, intensely actionable, and based on her decades of experience, this is the book Joan Garry wishes she had when she led GLAAD out of a financial crisis in 1997. Joan will teach you how to: Build a powerhouse board Create an impressive and sustainable fundraising program Become seen as a ‘workplace of choice’ Be a compelling public face of your nonprofit This book will renew your passion for your mission and organization, and help you make a bigger difference in the world. |
| funny speeches for vice president: From Inspiration to Activism Mary Lang Sollinger, 2020-03 Mary Lang Sollinger offers a fascinating behind-the-scenes look at political canvassing and fundraising while following ordinary people doing extraordinary things for the love of our country. Mary's years of fundraising experience culminated in an incredible opportunity to host a fundraiser at her home with Senator Obama in the fall of 2007. Mary believed in all that he stood for and knew that she needed to do whatever it took to help Senator Obama and others seek political offices. Mary was tireless in her efforts to get out the vote for Senator Obama through canvassing across Madison, Dubuque, Pittsburgh, and Indianapolis. While knocking on door after door, Mary found unique ways to overcome obstacles when trying to connect with people on the other side of those doors. She embodied Obama's campaign mantra: respect, empower, include. After the huge success of Senator Obama's 2007 fundraiser, Mary went on to organize twelve fundraisers throughout Wisconsin in fourteen months. As a result of her fundraising successes, she was asked to serve on President Obama's National Finance Committee, both in 2008 and 2012. Mary has generously shared many inspirational and invaluable lessons learned throughout her years of experience. Included in her book is an epilogue with nine lessons and examples of successful fundraising for those who may want to host their own fundraising event. |
| funny speeches for vice president: The American Spirit David McCullough, 2017-04-18 This timely collection of speeches by David McCullough, the most honored historian in the United States--winner of two Pulitzer Prizes, two National Book Awards, and the Presidential Medal of Freedom, among many other honors--reminds us of fundamental American principles. Over the course of his distinguished career, David McCullough has spoken before Congress, the White House, colleges and universities, historical societies, and other esteemed institutions. Now, as many Americans engage in self-reflection following a bitter election campaign that has left the country divided, McCullough has collected some of his most important speeches in a brief volume that articulates important principles and characteristics that are particularly American...--Jacket. |
| funny speeches for vice president: The Wit and Wisdom of John F. Kennedy Alex Ayres, 1996-11-01 Though he did not live long enough to write his memoirs, John Fitzgerald Kennedy left behind a legacy of wit and wisdom that still informs the lives and hopes of the American people today. Known for his courage and charisma, he embodied the youthful, optimistic spirit of the mid-20th century American. Yet, he could also be irreverent. When questioned as to how he became a hero in World War II, he replied it was involuntary--they sank my boat.. |
| funny speeches for vice president: Presidential Misconduct James M. Banner Jr., 2019-07-02 Named a best book of the year by The Economist and Foreign Affairs A whole book devoted exclusively to the misconduct of American presidents and their responses to charges of misconduct is without precedent. —from the introduction to the 1974 edition by C. Vann Woodward, Pulitzer Prize–winning Yale historian The historic 1974 report for the House Committee on the Judiciary, updated for today by leading presidential historians In May 1974, as President Richard Nixon faced impeachment following the Watergate scandal, the House Judiciary Committee commissioned a historical account of the misdeeds of past presidents. The account, compiled by leading presidential historians of the day, reached back to George Washington's administration and was designed to provide a benchmark against which Nixon's misdeeds could be measured. What the report found was that, with the exception of William Henry Harrison (who served less than a month), every American president has been accused of misconduct: James Buchanan was charged with rigging the election of 1856; Ulysses S. Grant was reprimanded for not firing his corrupt staffer, Orville Babcock, in the Whiskey Ring bribery scandal; and Franklin D. Roosevelt's administration faced repeated charges of malfeasance in the Works Progress Administration. Now, as another president and his subordinates face an array of charges on a wide range of legal and constitutional offenses, a group of presidential historians has come together under the leadership of James M. Banner, Jr.—one of the historians who contributed to the original report—to bring the 1974 account up to date through Barack Obama's presidency. Based on current scholarship, this new material covers such well-known episodes as Nixon's Watergate crisis, Reagan's Iran-Contra scandal, Clinton's impeachment, and George W. Bush's connection to the exposure of intelligence secrets. But oft-forgotten events also take the stage: Carter's troubles with advisor Bert Lance, Reagan's savings and loan crisis, George H.W. Bush's nomination of Clarence Thomas to the Supreme Court, and Obama's Solyndra loan controversy. The only comprehensive study of American presidents' misconduct and the ways in which chief executives and members of their official families have responded to the charges brought against them, this new edition is designed to serve the same purpose as the original 1974 report: to provide the historical context and metric against which the actions of the current administration may be assessed. |
| funny speeches for vice president: Business Wit & Wisdom Richard Zera, 2005-05 Compendium of sayings, quips, and wise insights related to the business world. |
| funny speeches for vice president: White House Ghosts Robert Schlesinger, 2008-04-15 In White House Ghosts, veteran Washington reporter Robert Schlesinger opens a fresh and revealing window on the modern presidency from FDR to George W. Bush. This is the first book to examine a crucial and often hidden role played by the men and women who help presidents find the words they hope will define their places in history. Drawing on scores of interviews with White House scribes and on extensive archival research, Schlesinger weaves intimate, amusing, compelling stories that provide surprising insights into the personalities, quirks, egos, ambitions, and humor of these presidents as well as how well or not they understood the bully pulpit. White House Ghosts traces the evolution of the presidential speechwriter's job from Raymond Moley under FDR through such luminaries as Ted Sorensen and Arthur Schlesinger, Jr., under JFK, Jack Valenti and Richard Goodwin under LBJ, William Safire and Pat Buchanan under Nixon, Hendrik Hertzberg and James Fallows under Carter, and Peggy Noonan under Reagan, to the Troika of Michael Gerson, John McConnell, and Matthew Scully under George W. Bush. White House Ghosts tells the fascinating inside stories behind some of the most iconic presidential phrases: the first inaugural of FDR (the only thing we have to fear is fear itself ) and JFK (ask not what your country can do for you -- ask what you can do for your country), Richard Nixon's I am not a crook and Ronald Reagan's tear down this wall speeches, Bill Clinton's ending the era of big government State of the Union, and George W. Bush's post-9/11 declaration that whether we bring our enemies to justice or bring justice to our enemies, justice will be done -- and dozens of other noteworthy speeches. The book also addresses crucial questions surrounding the complex relationship between speechwriter and speechgiver, such as who actually crafted the most memorable phrases, who deserves credit for them, and who has claimed it. Schlesinger tells the story of the modern American presidency through this unique prism -- how our chief executives developed their very different rhetorical styles and how well they grasped the rewards of reaching out to the country. White House Ghosts is dramatic, funny, gripping, surprising, serious -- and always entertaining. |
| funny speeches for vice president: Carnival Campaign Ronald Shafer, 2016-09-01 The Carnival Campaign tells the fascinating story of the pivotal 1840 presidential campaign of General William Henry Harrison and John Tyler—Tippecanoe and Tyler Too. Pulitzer Prize–nominated former Wall Street Journal reporter Ronald Shafer relates in a colorful, entertaining style how the campaign marked a series of firsts that changed politicking forever: the first campaign as mass entertainment; the first image campaign, in which strategists portrayed Harrison as a poor man living in a log cabin sipping hard cider (he lived in a mansion and drank only sweet cider); the first time big money was a factor; the first time women could openly participate; and more. While today's electorate has come to view campaigns that emphasize style over substance as a matter of course, this book shows voters how it all began. |
| funny speeches for vice president: A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the White House Charles Osgood, 2008-05-13 Charles Osgood, one of America's favorite news personalities, offers a hilarious compendium of anecdotes from the last seventy years of presidential campaigns. With anecdotes from Harry Truman to JFK to George W. Bush, A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the White House captures the wit and humor of the campaign trail. Culled from speeches, interviews, press conferences, as well as articles written by and about the candidates--no source is left untapped. From Bob Dole telling reporters after a loss in the primary that I slept like a baby--every two hours I woke up and cried, and Barry Goldwater's comment that his talkative opponent Hubert Humphreys has been clocked at 275 words a minute with gusts up to 340, to Adlai Stevenson declaring that If I talk over the people's head, Ike must be talking under their feet, this is the go-to source for campaign humor. Just when America most needs a good laugh, A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the White House makes the seemingly endless race to the presidency a lot more fun. |
| funny speeches for vice president: From Nowhere to Somewhere Norman Sherman, 2015-11-01 Norman Sherman's idea of fun is attending a political convention. He has been active in progressive politics since before he could vote, often as a ghostwriter and editor of speeches and books. His story describes a life working for numerous political leaders including Minnesota Governor Orville Freeman, and Minnesota senators Wendell Anderson, Walter Mondale, and Hubert Humphrey. He was press secretary to Vice President Humphrey, including during the 1968 campaign. He describes the world of politics with good humor and grace. |
| funny speeches for vice president: Thanks, Obama David Litt, 2017-09-19 “Litt is a funny and skillful storyteller… While the first half of the book is enjoyable, the second half is masterly, rising to a crescendo that is as rousing as, well, a particularly inspiring campaign speech.” — New York Times Book Review “Graceful, instructive, wry speechwriter memoirs like Litt’s are the exception rather than the norm. . . . Thanks, Obama will join the ranks of lasting works about the texture of political life, and of coming-of-age accounts by staffers who grow up personally and politically at the same time.” — The Atlantic “His time [in the White House] was as ‘hopey changey’ as advertised—with a little bit of absurdity and humor added into the mix.” — Elle, Best of the Month “Serve[s] as a more devastating indictment of the current administration than a campaign-style book ever could . . . limber, funny and illuminating.” — New Republic “Highly entertaining . . . much more than a scrapbook of Beltway gossip and Obama idolatry.” — Pacific Standard “Irresistibly charming . . . Litt minted his star converting world affairs into jokes. The translation of satire back to sincerity is trickier to pull off, and lands with its own undeniable grace.” — Slate “Litt is a skilled storyteller with a keen sense of humor and unique experiences and insight to draw upon.” — Bustle “Litt also offers both humor and optimism, two things many of us sorely need these days.” — Bustle, Best of the Month “What Litt understands and what Thanks, Obama makes clear may very soon be forgotten: The finest presidential speeches can heal the nation.” — Paste Magazine “A thoughtful and funny account of life as a minnow surrounded by Washington’s self-important whales . . . ranks with other classics from former White House speechwriters, such as Peggy Noonan’s What I Saw at the Revolution.” — USA Today, *** 1/2 “Funny and unexpectedly moving . . . a powerful reminder that true fulfillment can come from wielding even the smallest bit of influence on behalf of those who have none.” — Washington Monthly “A fast, funny ride through the halls of power.” — Kirkus “Veering between tragedy and comedy, between self-doubt and hubris, Litt vividly recreates a period during which he saw his words sometimes become the words of a nation.” — Publishers Weekly “By turns moving and hilarious, David Litt’s rollicking account of his journey from campaign field grunt to presidential speechwriter is an irresistible read.” — David Axelrod, former Senior Advisor to Barack Obama and author of Believer: My Forty Years in Politics “David Litt has done the impossible: written a smart, insightful, and funny White House memoir you don’t have to be a political junkie to love. Even better, he takes us back to a saner more compassionate time when our president liked to read.” — Judd Apatow “Terrific—part first-hand story about being inspired by a cultural icon, part how-to manual for getting involved in politics and making change. Thanks, Obama is a hysterical, pithy, and heartfelt trip down memory lane. And boy, do we need it.” — Keegan-Michael Key “David Litt is brilliant. I’ve gotten to witness firsthand some of the work he did for President Obama at past White House Correspondents Dinners and it’s always intelligent, razor sharp and hilarious.” — Billy Eichner “An outstanding, hilarious, and precise memoir . . . I laughed again and again. This is an excellent account of what it felt like to work for the Second to Last President of The United States.” — John Mulaney, co-creator and star of Oh, Hello “Don’t be fooled by the self-deprecating narrator, this portrait of a young speechwriter is filled with wit, wisdom, and a loving touch. David’s labors remind of us a not-so-distant past when words mattered. If I was a simpleton and a book critic, I’d say thumbs up.” — Matt Walsh, HBO’s Veep “David Litt is a natural storyteller and an absolute joy.” — Tig Notaro, author of I’m Just a Person “Thanks, Obama is a wonderful book for the same reasons David Litt’s speeches for the White House were wonderful: it’s well-written, it’s funny, it tells us exactly what we’re curious about, and. . . it reminds us that a great president galvanizes not only his staff but his country.” — Anne Fadiman, author of Ex Libris “Funny and warm, David Litt knows how to make people laugh regardless of their political affiliation.” — Mike Birbiglia, author of Sleepwalk With Me: And Other Painfully True Stories “A magnificent memoir on the Obama presidency. You’ll walk away with another kind of hope that’s needed now more than ever: the belief that a government can actually do some good.” — Adam Grant, author of Originals and coauthor of Option B “A talented (and very funny) speechwriter, David will make you laugh. He’ll make you miss Obama more than you do already. Most of all, he’ll renew your faith in the politics of hope.” — Stephanie Cutter, former deputy campaign manager for Barack Obama |
| funny speeches for vice president: How to Win a High School Election Jeff Marx, 1999-08 High school elections may be popularity contests, but this guide to becoming a successful high school politician reveals that with the right strategy anyone can win. Collected from more than 1,000 students recently involved in winning campaigns, advice is presented for a wide range of campaign tactics from techniques for running against even the most popular and qualified opponents to the most effective means of publicizing a candidacy. Selections from successful high school speeches, posters, and handouts are provided, along with a large list of sample campaign slogans, and are accompanied by anecdotes from a nationwide group of students about the smarts, drive, and guile necessary to win a student government position. Battle-tested techniques for both overcoming and utilizing a major campaign obstacle adolescent political apathy are also included. |
| funny speeches for vice president: Humor That Works Andrew Tarvin, 2019-04 Humor That Works is a business book on humor. No, that's not an oxymoron. It really is a business book and it really is about getting better results by having more fun. Because people who use humor in the workplace are more productive, less stressed, and happier. No joke; sources included. |
| funny speeches for vice president: The Hill We Climb Amanda Gorman, 2021-03-30 The instant #1 New York Times bestseller and #1 USA Today bestseller Amanda Gorman’s electrifying and historic poem “The Hill We Climb,” read at President Joe Biden’s inauguration, is now available as a collectible gift edition. “Stunning.” —CNN “Dynamic.” —NPR “Deeply rousing and uplifting.” —Vogue On January 20, 2021, Amanda Gorman became the sixth and youngest poet to deliver a poetry reading at a presidential inauguration. Taking the stage after the 46th president of the United States, Joe Biden, Gorman captivated the nation and brought hope to viewers around the globe with her call for unity and healing. Her poem “The Hill We Climb: An Inaugural Poem for the Country” can now be cherished in this special gift edition, perfect for any reader looking for some inspiration. Including an enduring foreword by Oprah Winfrey, this remarkable keepsake celebrates the promise of America and affirms the power of poetry. |
| funny speeches for vice president: Haben Haben Girma, 2019-08-06 The incredible life story of Haben Girma, the first Deafblind graduate of Harvard Law School, and her amazing journey from isolation to the world stage. Haben grew up spending summers with her family in the enchanting Eritrean city of Asmara. There, she discovered courage as she faced off against a bull she couldn't see, and found in herself an abiding strength as she absorbed her parents' harrowing experiences during Eritrea's thirty-year war with Ethiopia. Their refugee story inspired her to embark on a quest for knowledge, traveling the world in search of the secret to belonging. She explored numerous fascinating places, including Mali, where she helped build a school under the scorching Saharan sun. Her many adventures over the years range from the hair-raising to the hilarious. Haben defines disability as an opportunity for innovation. She learned non-visual techniques for everything from dancing salsa to handling an electric saw. She developed a text-to-braille communication system that created an exciting new way to connect with people. Haben pioneered her way through obstacles, graduated from Harvard Law, and now uses her talents to advocate for people with disabilities. Haben takes readers through a thrilling game of blind hide-and-seek in Louisiana, a treacherous climb up an iceberg in Alaska, and a magical moment with President Obama at The White House. Warm, funny, thoughtful, and uplifting, this captivating memoir is a testament to one woman's determination to find the keys to connection. This autobiography by a millennial Helen Keller teems with grace and grit. -- O Magazine A profoundly important memoir. -- The Times ** As featured in The Wall Street Journal, People, and on The TODAY Show ** A New York Times New & Noteworthy Pick ** An O Magazine Book of the Month Pick ** A Publishers Weekly Bestseller ** |
| funny speeches for vice president: Best American Humor 1994 Moshe Waldoks, 1994-11-15 A collection of humorous essays, articles, short stories, excerpts, and miscellaneous writings. Includes contributions by Conan O'Brien, Douglas Coupland, and Wendy Wasserstein. |
| funny speeches for vice president: How to Fight Presidents Daniel O'Brien, 2014-03-18 Make no mistake: Our founding fathers were more bandanas-and-muscles than powdered-wigs-and-tea. As a prisoner of war, Andrew Jackson walked several miles barefoot across state lines while suffering from smallpox and a serious head wound received when he refused to polish the boots of the soldiers who had taken him captive. He was thirteen years old. A few decades later, he became the first popularly elected president and served the nation, pausing briefly only to beat a would-be assassin with a cane to within an inch of his life. Theodore Roosevelt had asthma, was blind in one eye, survived multiple gunshot wounds, had only one regret (that there were no wars to fight under his presidency), and was the first U.S. president to win the Medal of Honor, which he did after he died. Faced with the choice, George Washington actually preferred the sound of bullets whizzing by his head in battle over the sound of silence. And now these men—these hallowed leaders of the free world—want to kick your ass. Plenty of historians can tell you which president had the most effective economic strategies, and which president helped shape our current political parties, but can any of them tell you what to do if you encounter Chester A. Arthur in a bare-knuckled boxing fight? This book will teach you how to be better, stronger, faster, and more deadly than the most powerful (and craziest) men in history. You’re welcome. |
| funny speeches for vice president: Professional Speech Writing Jerry Tarver, 1982 |
| funny speeches for vice president: Funny Business Michael Hill, 2022-06-07 “A delightful and entertaining book about one of America’s greatest humorists.”—Seth Meyers This “absorbing, illuminating” (Jon Meacham) biography of the legendary political humorist reveals the life behind his must-read Washington Post columns, featuring never-before-published photos, documents, and interviews. Before Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Trevor Noah, and Doonesbury, there was Art Buchwald. For more than fifty years, from 1949 to 2006, Art Buchwald’s Pulitzer Prize–winning column of political satire and biting wit made him one of the most widely read American humorists and a popular player in the Washington world of Ethel and Ted Kennedy, Ben Bradlee, and Katharine Graham. Dean Acheson, former U.S. Secretary of State, called Buchwald the “greatest satirist in the English language since Pope and Swift.” Drawing on Buchwald’s most memorable columns and unpublished correspondence with other famous people, Funny Business shows how Art Buchwald became an American original. Like Mark Twain, Dorothy Parker, and James Thurber, he satirized political scoundrels, lampooned the powerful, and “worshipped the quicksand” that ten presidents walked on, as Buchwald joked. “The key to Buchwald’s style of humor, he once stated, was to “treat light subjects seriously and serious subjects lightly.” But there was a darker, more serious side to Art Buchwald. A childhood spent in foster homes taught him to see comedy as a refuge. Buchwald also struggled with depression, a secret he kept from the public for nearly thirty years. This revealing book is studded with stories of Buchwald’s friendships with Humphrey Bogart, John Steinbeck, Irwin Shaw, William Styron, Erma Bombeck, Frank Sinatra, Adam West (Batman), Robert Frost, and others. Throughout his career, Buchwald wrote about such historical events as the Vietnam War, the assassinations of John and Robert Kennedy, Watergate, and the 9/11 terrorist attack. Featured here are stories of Buchwald’s nonstop one-liners, known in his day as “Buchshots.” Entertaining and absorbing, Funny Business looks back on Buchwald’s brilliant gift for humor and satire, which will once again bring readers a comedic respite from troublesome times. |
| funny speeches for vice president: The Right Man David Frum, 2005-01-18 The Right Man is the first inside account of a historic year in the Bush White House, by the presidential speechwriter credited with the phrase axis of evil. David Frum helped make international headlines when President George W. Bush’s 2002 State of the Union address linked international terrorists to Iran, Iraq, and North Korea. But that was only one moment during a crucial time in American history, when a president, an administration, and a country were transformed. Frum worked with President Bush in the Oval Office, traveled with him aboard Air Force One, and studied him closely at meetings and events. He describes how Bush thinks—what this conservative president believes about religion, race, the environment, Jews, Muslims, and America’s future. Frum takes us behind the scenes of one of the most secretive administrations in recent history, with revealing portraits of Karl Rove, Karen Hughes, Condoleezza Rice, and many others. Most significant, he tells the story of the transformation of George W. Bush: how a president whose administration began in uncertainty became one of the most decisive, successful, and popular leaders of our time. Before becoming a White House speechwriter, David Frum was a highly regarded author of books and political commentary and an influential voice on the pages of The Wall Street Journal and The Weekly Standard. His commentary has been described by William F. Buckley as “the most refreshing ideological experience in a generation.” Now, in The Right Man, we see Frum as a front-row observer and participant. Not since Peggy Noonan’s account of her time in the Reagan White House has an insider portrayed a sitting president with such precision, verve, honest admiration, and insight. The Right Man will command international attention for its thoughtful account of George W. Bush in the midst of his greatest challenge. It will be an essential reference for anyone seeking to understand who our president really is and how he is likely to lead us in the future. |
| funny speeches for vice president: Bit Player Stephen Hess, 2018-10-30 An insightful, often humorous look at how Washington works, or doesn't The title “Bit Player” perfectly reflects Stephen Hess's long and distinguished career as a Washington insider. As a 25-year-old, recently discharged Army private in 1958, he suddenly found himself as part of President Dwight D. Eisenhower’s speechwriting team that ultimately helped draft the famed “Farewell Address” warning of the influence of the “military industrial complex.” Then over the next two decades, Hess played bit roles aiding Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford, Jimmy Carter, and Ronald Reagan—along the way observing up-close those presidents and many other senior political leaders. During his subsequent four-and-a-half decades at the Brookings Institution, Hess was well-positioned to monitor and comment on the achievements and failures of successive administrations. This memoir by a certified member of Washington's old-guard establishment is rich with insight into contemporary American democracy, poignant in its reflections of avoidable missteps by even the best and most experienced leaders, and consistently good-humored in the author's self-awareness of his own role behind the scenes of political power. Now in his mid-eighties, still involved at Brookings as a “senior fellow emeritus,” Hess uses this memoir to look back at what he describes as concentric circles of research, travel, advising, writing, and teaching. But more than just a memoir, Bit Player offers deeply informed commentary on the major political actors and seminal events in the nation's capital over the past six decades. One of the foremost authorities on media and government in the United States, Stephen Hess is a senior fellow emeritus in Governance Studies at The Brookings Institution. He first joined Brookings in 1972 and was distinguished research professor of media and public affairs at the George Washington University (2004–2009). Hess served on White House staff during the Eisenhower and Nixon presidencies and as advisor to Presidents Ford and Carter. |
| funny speeches for vice president: Electing Madam Vice President Nichola D. Gutgold, 2021-04-19 Electing Madam Vice President presents the presidential bids of the six women who ran for the Democratic nomination for President of the United States in 2020 and the historic, groundbreaking vice-presidential candidacy of Kamala Harris.When Vice President Kamala Harris and her family moved into Number One Observatory Circle, the official Vice Presidential residence of the United States, she claimed a title no other women in the United States ever had: Vice President. She is closer to the United States presidency than any woman in history. Yet, she has repeated often that she is standing on the shoulders of women who have come before her to try to break down barriers, including the United States Presidency. Often left off the history pages, and out of many Americans’ minds, are the bids of women who run for president. The 2020 Democratic primary included the most women ever to run in one election. This book demonstrates the progress women candidates have made as they have moved from symbolic to viable candidates and shines a light on the diminishing obstacles that face women candidates while taking readers on a journey through the victorious progress of a woman United States Vice President. |
| funny speeches for vice president: A Promised Land Barack Obama, 2024-08-13 A riveting, deeply personal account of history in the making—from the president who inspired us to believe in the power of democracy #1 NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • NAACP IMAGE AWARD NOMINEE • NAMED ONE OF THE TEN BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY THE NEW YORK TIMES BOOK REVIEW AND PEOPLE NAMED ONE OF THE BEST BOOKS OF THE YEAR BY The Washington Post • Jennifer Szalai, The New York Times • NPR • The Guardian • Slate • Vox • The Economist • Marie Claire In the stirring first volume of his presidential memoirs, Barack Obama tells the story of his improbable odyssey from young man searching for his identity to leader of the free world, describing in strikingly personal detail both his political education and the landmark moments of the first term of his historic presidency—a time of dramatic transformation and turmoil. Obama takes readers on a compelling journey from his earliest political aspirations to the pivotal Iowa caucus victory that demonstrated the power of grassroots activism to the watershed night of November 4, 2008, when he was elected 44th president of the United States, becoming the first African American to hold the nation’s highest office. Reflecting on the presidency, he offers a unique and thoughtful exploration of both the awesome reach and the limits of presidential power, as well as singular insights into the dynamics of U.S. partisan politics and international diplomacy. Obama brings readers inside the Oval Office and the White House Situation Room, and to Moscow, Cairo, Beijing, and points beyond. We are privy to his thoughts as he assembles his cabinet, wrestles with a global financial crisis, takes the measure of Vladimir Putin, overcomes seemingly insurmountable odds to secure passage of the Affordable Care Act, clashes with generals about U.S. strategy in Afghanistan, tackles Wall Street reform, responds to the devastating Deepwater Horizon blowout, and authorizes Operation Neptune’s Spear, which leads to the death of Osama bin Laden. A Promised Land is extraordinarily intimate and introspective—the story of one man’s bet with history, the faith of a community organizer tested on the world stage. Obama is candid about the balancing act of running for office as a Black American, bearing the expectations of a generation buoyed by messages of “hope and change,” and meeting the moral challenges of high-stakes decision-making. He is frank about the forces that opposed him at home and abroad, open about how living in the White House affected his wife and daughters, and unafraid to reveal self-doubt and disappointment. Yet he never wavers from his belief that inside the great, ongoing American experiment, progress is always possible. This beautifully written and powerful book captures Barack Obama’s conviction that democracy is not a gift from on high but something founded on empathy and common understanding and built together, day by day. |
| funny speeches for vice president: What Happened Hillary Rodham Clinton, 2017-09-12 “An engaging, beautifully synthesized page-turner” (Slate). The #1 New York Times bestseller and Time #1 Nonfiction Book of the Year: Hillary Rodham Clinton’s most personal memoir yet, about the 2016 presidential election. In this “candid and blackly funny” (The New York Times) memoir, Hillary Rodham Clinton reveals what she was thinking and feeling during one of the most controversial and unpredictable presidential elections in history. She takes us inside the intense personal experience of becoming the first woman nominated for president by a major party in an election marked by rage, sexism, exhilarating highs and infuriating lows, stranger-than-fiction twists, Russian interference, and an opponent who broke all the rules. “At her most emotionally raw” (People), Hillary describes what it was like to run against Donald Trump, the mistakes she made, how she has coped with a shocking and devastating loss, and how she found the strength to pick herself back up afterward. She tells readers what it took to get back on her feet—the rituals, relationships, and reading that got her through, and what the experience has taught her about life. In this “feminist manifesto” (The New York Times), she speaks to the challenges of being a strong woman in the public eye, the criticism over her voice, age, and appearance, and the double standard confronting women in politics. Offering a “bracing... guide to our political arena” (The Washington Post), What Happened lays out how the 2016 election was marked by an unprecedented assault on our democracy by a foreign adversary. By analyzing the evidence and connecting the dots, Hillary shows just how dangerous the forces are that shaped the outcome, and why Americans need to understand them to protect our values and our democracy in the future. The election of 2016 was unprecedented and historic. What Happened is the story of that campaign, now with a new epilogue showing how Hillary grappled with many of her worst fears coming true in the Trump Era, while finding new hope in a surge of civic activism, women running for office, and young people marching in the streets. |
| funny speeches for vice president: Great Political Wit Robert Dole, 2000-08-01 Bob Dole's political career may not have taken him to the White House, but he did pick up some great stories along the way. In this delightful collection, the longtime United States senator shares his favorite anecdotes, witticisms, and reminiscences. From the campaign trail to the Oval Office, from smoke-filled rooms to the chambers of the Capitol, Bob Dole surveys a century of political wit. There are bon mots from Calvin Coolidge, Winston Churchill, Harry Truman, John F. Kennedy, and a host of other political figures. Bob Dole introduces each section with mirthful moments from his own experience, displaying the gift for wry humor that has made him a favorite guest on late-night talk shows. A jovial--and completely bipartisan--compendium, Great Political Wit is a connoisseur's selection of political repartee at its best. |
| funny speeches for vice president: Rise Above Greg Little, 2011-09-01 Rise Above is a detailed description of one man's journey of conquering adversity.You will read how the writer survived a near-fatal motor vehicle accident, which resulted in three skull fractures, a bruised brain, an eight-day coma and having to relearn how to walk and talk - made all the more challenging by a lingering speech impediment acquired in childhood. Stuttering is an awful burden for a person to carry throughout life. Children can be cruel. The writer's utmost fear, speaking in public, would one day be an ally and allow him to present programs extensively throughout the United States. This book is not about surviving adversity. It's about thriving beyond adversity. Greg Little, a nationally renowned speaker and motivator, has presented to diverse groups, including health care, business and professional organizations, and educational institutions. His programs emphasize active involvement by participants. Whether teaching professionals to cope with stress, bond as a productive group or realize their hidden strengths, his seminars and keynote addresses are hard hitting and memorable. During one of Greg's presentations, I was laughing so hard that tears were literally streaming down my face. - Dr. Ed Kesgen; Sylva, NC One of the most energized, creative and innovate presentations I have ever experienced.- Jim Brennan, National Consultant; Wilbraham, MA Dr. Greg Little is superb speaker. This is an excellent investment in continuing education - Nancy DeBolt; Torrington, WY |
| funny speeches for vice president: The Greatest Comeback Patrick J. Buchanan, 2014-07-08 Patrick J. Buchanan, bestselling author and senior advisor to Richard Nixon, tells the definitive story of Nixon's resurrection from the political graveyard and his rise to the presidency. After suffering stinging defeats in the 1960 presidential election against John F. Kennedy, and in the 1962 California gubernatorial election, Nixon's career was declared dead by Washington press and politicians alike. Yet on January 20, 1969, just six years after he had said his political life was over, Nixon would stand taking the oath of office as 37th President of the United States. How did Richard Nixon resurrect a ruined career and reunite a shattered and fractured Republican Party to capture the White House? In The Greatest Comeback, Patrick J. Buchanan--who, beginning in January 1966, served as one of two staff members to Nixon, and would become a senior advisor in the White House after 1968--gives a firsthand account of those crucial years in which Nixon reversed his political fortunes during a decade marked by civil rights protests, social revolution, The Vietnam War, the assassinations of JFK, RFK, and Martin Luther King, urban riots, campus anarchy, and the rise of the New Left. Using over 1,000 of his own personal memos to Nixon, with Nixon’s scribbled replies back, Buchanan gives readers an insider’s view as Nixon gathers the warring factions of the Republican party--from the conservative base of Barry Goldwater to the liberal wing of Nelson Rockefeller and George Romney, to the New Right legions of an ascendant Ronald Reagan--into the victorious coalition that won him the White House. How Richard Nixon united the party behind him may offer insights into how the Republican Party today can bring together its warring factions. The Greatest Comeback is an intimate portrayal of the 37th President and a fascinating fly on-the-wall account of one of the most remarkable American political stories of the 20th century. |
| funny speeches for vice president: The Saturday Evening Post , 1921 |
| funny speeches for vice president: Dog Whistles, Walk-Backs, and Washington Handshakes Chuck McCutcheon, David Mark, 2014-09-02 To the amusement of the pundits and the regret of the electorate, our modern political jargon has become even more brazenly two-faced and obfuscatory than ever. Where once we had Muckrakers, now we have Bed-Wetters. Where Blue Dogs once slept peaceably in the sun, Attack Dogs now roam the land. During election season--a near constant these days--the coded rhetoric of candidates and their spin doctors, and the deliberately meaningless but toxic semiotics of the wing nuts and backbenchers, reach near-Orwellian levels of self-satisfaction, vitriol, and deceit. The average NPR or talk radio listener, MSNBC or Fox News viewer, or blameless New York Times or Wall Street Journal reader is likely to be perplexed, nonplussed, and lulled into a state of apathetic resignation and civic somnolence by the rapid-fire incomprehensibility of political pronouncement and commentary--which is, frankly, putting us exactly where the pundits want us. Dog Whistles, Walk-Backs, and Washington Handshakes is a tonic and a corrective. It is a reference and field guide to the language of politics by two veteran observers that not only defines terms and phrases but also explains their history and etymology, describes who uses them against whom, and why, and reveals the most telling, infamous, amusing, and shocking examples of their recent use. It is a handbook of lexicography for the Wonkette and This Town generation, a sleeker, more modern Safire's Political Dictionary, and a concise, pointed, bipartisan guide to the lies, obfuscations, and helical constructions of modern American political language, as practiced by real-life versions of the characters on House of Cards. |
| funny speeches for vice president: Holding the Line Guy M. Snodgrass, 2019 The author offers an insider's sometimes shocking account of how Defense Secretary James Mattis led the U.S. military through global challenges while serving as a crucial check on the Trump Administration. |
| funny speeches for vice president: Reading, Learning, Teaching Kurt Vonnegut Paul Lee Thomas, 2006 Our English classrooms are often only as vibrant as the literature that we teach. This book explores the writing of contemporary American author, Kurt Vonnegut, who offers readers and students engaging fiction and nonfiction works that confront the reader and the world. Here, teachers will find an introduction to the life and works of Vonnegut and an opportunity to explore how to bring his works into the classroom as a part of the reading and writing curriculum. This volume attempts to confront what we teach and how we teach as English teachers through the vivid texts Vonnegut offers his readers. |
r/funny - Reddit
r/funny: Reddit's largest humor depository. Memes of any sort are expressly forbidden. This includes any variety of memetic image or video format, any footage or photographs of memes …
Best Funny Posts - Reddit
Screenshots of Black people being hilarious or insightful on social media, it doesn't need to just be twitter but obviously that is best.
Funny India - Reddit
If a given piece of content has appeared on r/Funny before, do not post it. Sites like KarmaDecay and TinEye can help to determine the uniqueness of a given submission, but since neither site …
r/DadJokes - the best (and worst) Dad Jokes on reddit
Welcome! This is a friendly place for those cringe-worthy and (maybe) funny attempts at humour that we call dad jokes. Often (but not always) a verbal or visual pun, if it elicited a snort or face …
Minecraft Troll Commands : r/MinecraftCommands - Reddit
Jan 23, 2022 · The subreddit for all things related to Modded Minecraft for Minecraft Java Edition --- This subreddit was originally created for discussion around the FTB launcher and its …
Funniest/interesting character names : r/wow - Reddit
Really only funny because it's so stupid but my 12-13 year old main's name is cleverly named Dwarffguy. (I was 8-9 years old) I unfortunately had to add the 2nd F when I transferred realms …
r/dankmemes - Reddit
reposting a meme you saw on hot because you thought it was really funny; your post contains an advice animal format; you post an image with no caption and use the title as the text; posting …
Funny Pics - Reddit
A woman is driving a sports car around Hollywood and Los Angeles, California, with 'Thor the Great Dane' riding in the passenger seat. .
Funny Text-To-Speak Lines. : r/discordapp - Reddit
Jan 13, 2017 · This will be extremely long and annoying, but funny. Discord also describes emojis, so have fun with that. Namely, pile of feces, hands clapping, fork and knife, etc. Also, don't …
What is the Funniest Joke You've Ever Heard/Read?
A kindergarten teacher is trying to explain to her class the definition of the word "definitely". To make sure the students have a good understanding of the word, she asks them to use it in a …
r/funny - Reddit
r/funny: Reddit's largest humor depository. Memes of any sort are expressly forbidden. This includes …
Best Funny Posts - Reddit
Screenshots of Black people being hilarious or insightful on social media, it doesn't need to just be twitter but …
Funny India - Reddit
If a given piece of content has appeared on r/Funny before, do not post it. Sites like KarmaDecay and …
r/DadJokes - the best (and worst) Dad Jokes on reddit
Welcome! This is a friendly place for those cringe-worthy and (maybe) funny attempts at humour that we call dad …
Minecraft Troll Commands : r/MinecraftCommands - Reddit
Jan 23, 2022 · The subreddit for all things related to Modded Minecraft for Minecraft Java Edition --- This …
